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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
56 comments:
no mention of how much they are willing to pay
As I have said many times before
Pay up or SHUT DOWN
guess they chose the latter
now instead of earning leas profit, the owner will earn no profit.
dominos can't deliver today b/c no drivers. the welfare state is a rousing success. until the couch sitters get hungry
Jason's Deli has closed. Jackson, the new Detroit/Chicago...
I now can read discussions on NextDoor penned from NE Jackson. That area is doomed, in addition to the rest of Jackson. Burglaries, gunfire, car thefts, very visible street drug dealing, homeless in your yard and porch; 9-1-1 calls not answered; it goes on and on.
They left off the only important factor to potential employees, What’s the pay? If they pay decent, they will find decent workers. I guess now that Mississippi has officially stopped the extra unemployment payments, business owners will have to find a new excuse for their inability to attract workers to their crappy jobs. My guess is critical race theory will be to blame.
I thought this labor problem was going to be solved as soon as Tater cut off unemployment.
Blame Fauci . Maybe he will come and help.
$2.13 an hour + tips and no benefits? no thanks
Perhaps we should allow more LEGAL immigrants?
If I'm building a community/country - I'll take the guy that's willing to walk here from Honduras while caring for young child- all so that he can perform manual labor here and send $100/week to his wife back home.
These are the people that we need to welcome in this country.
Don’t you love the narrow-minded views of those who have never excelled in life. To them, a business starts and stops with what they get paid. Anything else is just a shrug and a grin. Rising food costs (shrug), forced to shutdown last year (shrug), competing against free money from the government (shrug and grin), supply chain shortages (confused). Same mindset that riots and steals from businesses because ______.
These positions will be filled. Should be filled by teenagers starting out but these are the days of select sports, camps and activities galore. So we’re left with the dregs of society that have no skills, character or motivation to do anything between their filings for unemployment.
They’re only concern is minimum wage because they don’t plan on ever doing anything more than the minimum in life.
to 2.21...................screw you. the cerami family has been providing employment and opportunity in this area since before you were crapping in you hands and rubbing it in your hair.
walmart, costco, kroger, mcdonalds, burger king offer benefits...
no benefits=no workers
It is almost as if conservatives never have solutions that actually work in the real world!
Amen to 3:18. Too much bigoted rhetoric aimed at people who just want a chance to work jobs our people won't take.
@3:37 - well I guess we should all go sign up and work for free. How many dishes are you planning to wash voluntarily for these wonderful people. Think my landlord will accept my gratitude as payment? Who needs healthcare these days anyways? It sounds to me like you are probably a communist or a proponent of slavery and that just isn’t the answer. Next…
Looks like a bunch of goofy libs on here this afternoon who've never written (and never will) write a pay check in their lives and haven't a clue about how capitalism works but they seem to be very much into socialism.
@3:33 - so you don’t think people work to earn money? Maybe the owner should just take a loss and give away all their food also since money doesn’t matter. What world are these idiot living in that they don’t think pay matters. Dumbass
If an employer can only survive with child labor, they shouldn’t be in business. The government gave out plenty of free money to restaurants to make up for COVID. Remember Roger Wicker praising the bill he voted against? Got any more excuses for their lack of ability to compete in a free market now that the unemployment benefits were removed by our governor?
Big corps will save us! Trickle down!
@ 3:43. Again, I cannot understand why liberals are so mad all the time. $15 and hour plus benefits for entry level jobs. Great Idea. in 2 years as things roll up the money they make will equate to not a living wage again. Houses will cost twice as much, services, food, etc, etc will all go up proportionately. You will have entry level jobs paying $45k a year and benefits and they will still not be a living wage due to the increase across the board.
secondly, I was in Denver the other day. I was at a McDonalds and there were 3 employees. There were 5 kiosks and a pick up window. the 3 employees were cooking and serving the drive through and the pick up window. They were all making $15 per hour with benefits i'm sure but there were 3 of them not 10 making 8-10 per hour. Your push for a "living wage" at a entry level (16 year old jobs) will simply result in huge unemployment and business closures resulting in more unemployment and more business closures (round and round) Your entry level jobs will be eliminated one by one. Why in the world would you think you should work at a fast food joint and make enough money to support a family and pay for lodging, food, insurance, cars, etc etc? Here is how it works and the only way it works. You start at a entry level job when you are depending on others for help. You work hard and show up and become valuable to not only your employer but maybe others who would give you more to work for them. and then you keep working harder and keep moving up and then you get to the living wage.
I assume your liberal solution is this. Everyone born goes to college and everyone graduates and everyone become a high paid person at age 22-23. Yeah, there is a need for 320 million college graduates. The only way to achieve this is to lower the standards for college and make a college degree the equivalent of a high school degree. Then everyone gets one of those and the people who need real education have to get masters and doctorates. see, with wages as well as education you don't improve the country by making sure everyone gets the same minimum. But I'm sure your professor explained it in such a way it made good sense because they likely never worked in the real world. SMH.
2:21 is an idiot. Likely never will understand economics at a basic level. The restaurant works on a razor thin profit margin most cases. This is why so many go out of business. You pay an entry level waiter or busboy or cook $15-20 per hour and benefits your 3 cheese ravioli just went from $12 to $20 and your tea just went from $2.50 to $4 and so on. people can't afford it and they quit coming. The restaurant shuts down and no one makes anything. In your SJW world that sounds like victory for the little guy. This happens enough and you live in a third world country.
2:24 PM
My wife and I left last year in May. I don't think we could have gotten out any sooner. We noticed a marked decline even before Jason's left. I mostly attribute it to poor city leadership.
3:43 PM
The liberals solution is to throw more money at the problem. How well did that work out for JPS?
And to these idiots about pay. This isn't skilled work. Button punching isn't skilled work.
4:32 should teach a class.
Well said.
So few understand that basic concept.
Bravo.
The Democrats outsmart the Republicans every time. They used the pandemic to create a welfare state. Now they are allowing open borders to provide cheap labor to corporations. The half of the population that doesn’t pay taxes no longer have to work. Free college, healthcare, basic income to live, the other half of us just continue to pay.
listen to all of the brilliant conservative economists! Especially the ones willing to import the third world as cheap labor because service industry jobs are one job that they cant export to China!
Got some bad news for you but the labor you are importing isn’t going to vote for your kids to be president. They will vote for their AOC!
2:21- Pay up? What is this, a heist?
People want $15 an hour for taking orders and running food. What a lazy joke.
@4:42
The facebook post clearly states they are seeking “qualified” help.
And by your metric, landlords aren’t skilled labor either.
They shouldn’t get paid very much either.
“being a waiter isn’t skilled labor”
Yeah it is. We have the skill and patience to put up with your ugly, passive aggressive, demanding asses and only out the minimum amount of bodily fluids in your food. Too many of you come into a restaurant and immediately think you get to treat us like shit. Just because we serve food doesn’t mean we are paid to fulfill your plantation master/slave fantasies.
One more thing, we always remember bad tippers! You get extra spit bitches!
@4:38
You really seem to misunderstand economics. The owner can always take a haircut. But you never mention that part. It’s always “the food is going to cost $20 an ounce” but you never talk about the lifestyle of these restaurant owners. There is one w see often here who loves to write articles about his luxurious lifestyle.
I'm consider myself the dregs of society. The reason why I have no skill because of Madison County Education didn't teach me any skills. They said get your Liberal arts degree and you'll go places. What a lie. My character and motivation has been beaten out of me. I now watching other people succeed and I'm stuck at the bottom.
The big companies start at $15 an hour now and some like Amazon in Canton offer full benefits from day one. Workers are making the choice to go for the higher paying jobs as they should.
" now that Mississippi has officially stopped the extra unemployment payments "
And thank the Lord they did ... if not ... the local labor market would be worse than it already is.
I never understood why all these people complaining about rising prices caused by a dollar or two rise of minimum wage pay don’t think that CEO’s making 100 million a year plus stock options aren’t an issue. Do you hate poor people that much that you don’t even see it?
Funny how all these folks are shouting free money is the problem, if you take out the 20 highest unemployment counties in Mississippi ( ain’t that may people or jobs) Mississippi is basically at full employment and certainly less pre pandemic unemployment levels in the top 62. It’s all on the states website. People are in better shape today than they were 2 years ago. No need for multiple jobs, places like this restaurant can’t compete.
2:21 is SO pathetic. The lack of proper grammar, punctuation and the DEMAND to "pay up or shut down", shows their stupidity. Wages and benefits are things usually discussed at a face to face job interview. Of course that requires one to get off the couch, bathe, arrive timely with reliable transportation, dress neatly and present a pleasant personality.
Something tells me 2:21 expects them to kiss her/his azz and pay them $15/hr, full benefits while she/he carries a nasty, snarly-lip attitude the whole workday.
Either you pay them more and food cost goes up and you have to charge more. Let’s just pay a flat amount and no tipping and see if the waiters like that. The reason the are paid $2 is because they get the tips.
Cerami's ate at the PPP buffett twice - once for $115,000 and a second feeding for $81,000. It is not surprising they cannot find workers.
Quit paying shit wages
Imagine that, a failed business model. Welcome to the workforce Cerami family.
Pre Covid normally full on weekends, only been there twice. Now not enough staff for service. Something changed. Waiter, busboy, dishwasher in smaller local place are not careers but what were your first jobs.
Well, how is it that McD can pay living wages in Denmark - and the world is still spinning?
I don’t have any sympathy with these restaurant owners, pay more and stop whining. That’s the economy, someone offers a better deal.
Waiting tables in a busy restaurant can be a great job for college kids or a stay-at-home parent while the kids are in school. When I waited tables way back in the early 90s, it was rare that I didn't leave a 5-hour dinner shift with $80 to $100 or more in my pocket. A weekend double shift often saw me with $300 - $400. It's not something you'd be after as the primary breadwinner for a family, but it's not as bad as $2.13 / hour sounds.
@2:32 It'll take a while for all that money to go dry, but it will.
4:32 and 4:57 for the wins
I know guys who have waited tables for 30 plus years….
It’s not for everyone but some can make it work.
We have to have a better appreciation for labor
welcome to the free market economy. you've wanted it for years.
can't pay 20 an hour? tough. someone will and take all your workers.
high schoolers can get 10-15 an hour at mcdonalds and burger king.
why work for 2 bucks and crappy tips?
Best thing all these employers could do is get together and decide what to pay their workers.
That could keep the employers willing to pay more from stealing the workers from the employers who can't or won't pay more.
Unions are an unpopular thing with free market people, so make sure to not call it a union for employers. They could call it Our Little Thing for the Job Makers.
@ 11:43. Who gives crappy tips?
12:49 It's well documeted.
I lived in Italy for seven years. Tipping servers is not the norm there, and in most of the world. The servers in Italy are paid decent wages with benefits. Tipping here mostly benefits the employer, backed by the IRS.
All you whining liberals bitching about pay and minimum wage and tip pay...where were you in the past fifteen years when no business was desperate for help? Now that your boy Biden has promised something for nothing, on a monthly basis, you clowns are content to sit on your asses. It won't last. Wait for it.
@8:18 I'm curious how you know this. I filed several times for my business & was never awarded any a plate at the buffet.
12:26 that's an antitrust violation and could result in 10 years in the Iron Bars Hotel.
It’s a part time job with flexible hours at a restaurant. If you want $15 an hour go to Amazon, just be ready to start work at 7:00 am and finish at 4. Can some of you get up that early? I know, that’s not fair is it. Oh and some of you may need to work on Sundays or at night from 9-5.
That’s life, if you don’t like it find something else. But if your 17 and your first job it’s a start. I started out cutting yards, a soda jerk, hauling materials and stocking shelves. Now I make $275,000 a year and don’t feel guilty about any of it as I worked my way up.
1:49...If you can't spell documented, who does it for you?
5:18 I was basically raised around the restaurant industry and learned to tip well (minimum 20% and more for excellent service) and never concerned with a waiter spitting in my food, I find it appalling that you would spit in your customers food. Even if you thought you were looked down upon or thought you were mistreated it is a cowardly chicken shi* way to make yourself feel better. Do you realize you speak of passive aggressive behavior from your customers but you are guilty of exhibiting that exact behavior. Please reconsider your nasty Neanderthal reactions to someone who may simply be having a bad day, you never know what someone is going through. Try filling their soul with kindness and leaving a good impression on them. If they return, they will remember your good hearted nature and probably reward you. At minimum, you will not go home ashamed of yourself from deep inside. That is if you have a conscience but I question that. You’ve been acting like a nasty self centered little bit*#!
9:03 PM There are several databases that list everyone in the country who received a PPP loan
12:09 - No it's not. It's no more illegal than forty HR Directors belonging to a group that meets monthly and also runs annual salary/benefits surveys and attempts to sort of stay in line with the community standard (of course there are always the two renegades - One that pays much more and the one that pays much less. You might want to call it a reverse cartel of sorts. But it's certainly NOT illegal.
It's for no other purpose than maintaining stability in the labor market.
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