Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Representative holds fund-raiser while Legislature still in session

State Representative Becky Currie held a fund-raiser at the home of a Brookhaven doctor on March 31. The invitation included twenty-six doctors as  host committee members.  The fund-raiser took place during the last week of the regular session of the Mississippi Legislature and the night before a vote on a crucial Medicaid bill. The invitation stated Speaker of the House Philip Gunn was the Special Guest, although he did not attend. 

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Bennie Thompson: The Unvanquished

Almost gave this post the title "Bennie Unplugged" but that is the problem, he is plugged in.  Check out Bennie Thompson in this radio interview saying what he really thinks. Video is  courtsey of Buzzfeed.

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Is anyone surprised?

Claiborne Frazier will appeal his sentence.  So Claiborne Frazier pleads guilty.  The judge gives him 60 months in jail, a $10,000 fine, and supervised release for three years.* Restitution per federal sentencing guidelines is to be determined at a later date.  Now Mr. Frazier files a notice of appeal this week in U.S. District Court. The order is posted below.

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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Checking the Jackson Zoo financials

Here is the quarterly financial statement for the Jackson Zoo.  Admission revenue is low but Executive Director Beth Poff said the first few months of the year are very slow. She said school groups start attending in April and admission jumps in May as the school year winds down. 

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The only constant is change

Update: JJ learned of more hires who are listed at the bottom of the post.  

The Yarber team is starting to take shape.  The Clarion-Ledger reported:

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Monday, April 28, 2014

Passing over Germantown



Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

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Just now near Gluckstadt


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Tornado warnings

 UPDATE: TORNADO ON GROUND NEAR PEARL High School 6:37 PM. WLBT off the air.  Staff at WLBT, WJTV, and WAPT is in safe rooms. One is near Richhland moving towards Brandon.

Update: Tornado warning in Hinds County until 6:30.  Tornados on ground near Pocahontas and Utica.   Send tornado damage pics to kingfish1935@gmail.com.

Sirens went off in downtown Jackson but stopped. One is on the ground in the Edwards area. Here is great video of the Tupelo tornado. Check out my twitter feed for updates @kingfish1935

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Judge to EEOC: What's good for the goose.....

The Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals shredded the EEOC in a victory for Kaplan.  The EEOC sued Kaplan over its use of credit and criminal background checks in hiring job applicants. Yup, the EEOC doesn't think a company that handles financial information for students seeking financial aid should find out if job applicants might be more likely to engage in identity theft.  Judge Raymond Kethledge skewered the EEOC with its own logic in the very first sentence:

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Pay me now or pay me later?

Here is a nice little budget hole facing the Yarber administration in a few months.

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Sunday, April 27, 2014

Kingmaker? Oh really?

Sid Salter took a break from taxing the internet and firing ammo for Thad to instead laud Bennie Thompson as the new Kingmaker a la Eastland a few weeks ago:

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Corporate welfare for Mississippi Home Corp?

Oh hell no.  Mississippi Home Corporation asked for some tax exemptions from the Hinds County Board of Supervisors last week.  Was it for some housing project? Economic development? Nope.  Not even close.

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Saturday, April 26, 2014

Talking up the town... and the election.

Local attorney and talk show host Precious T. Martin opined on the election results on his show Friday night.  The sound was real low. Fast forward to 5:25. Rather interesting show. 

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Friday, April 25, 2014

Governor & Speaker make their appointments.

The Commission to oversee the implementation of the sales tax increase took further shape recently as the Governor and Speaker of the House made their appointments.  Ready to see who they are?

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The Inauguration

Amile Wilson shot these photos of the Inauguration yesterday.

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Grading the restaurants

Here are the latest "C's" given to restaurants in the Jackson metro area by the Mississippi Department of Health.  Inspectors return in ten days to determine whether the management made corrections.  The "*" denotes restaurants who received another "C" ten days after the first one.  The lack of a "*" means the restaurant passed the follow-up inspection.

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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Madison PD gets auto theft suspect

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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Deputy kills wife, self

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release:

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WJNT yesterday

Mayor Tony Yarber appeared on the show yesterday morning. He took calls, discussed the race, future plans, and spoke to the citizens of Jackson. 



Then there was this little comment over at the JFP:

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Voter ID commercials win award

Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann issued the following press release:

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Jackson Municipal Retirement Account funding level falls to 48.3%

PERS issued an annual report stating Jackson's municipal retirement system is less than 50% funded. The unfunded liability is $62.7  million dollars. The unfunded liability decreased $.7 million from the 2012 report. The retirement account covers police and firefighters hired by the city prior to April 1, 1976. The funding level fell to 48.3% from 48.8% in 2013.

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Saturday night: George Clinton



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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Precinct numbers are up.

Here ya go.  These are unofficial numbers.  The results are not certified.  Mr. Yarber will take the oath of office once certification is complete.

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Blast from the past

Looks like William "Bilbo" Dilday found himself smack-dab in the middle of another controversy. It's pretty funny watching Bilbo Dilday, Precious Martin, and Greg Brand point fingers at each other. Here is one of his Clarion-Ledger columns from the past. Warning: It contains language some might construe as racist.

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WJNT this morning

In the year of the Mayoralship  of Tony Yarber (I)

Mayor-Elect Tony Yarber will appear on the show at 8:05 this morning. 1180 AM. Call-in number is 601-366-1180.  You can listen on the Tunein Radio App. Meanwhile, here is this video to tide you over this morning as the Kingfish is taking a break after the show.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Election night thread. It's Mayor Tony Yarber

Here we geaux. Time for the games to begin.  My prediction? Yarber will win 1 and 7. He has to win 6 and get at least 40% in 2.   He does that, he is in the house and making inaugural plans.  There were several precincts in NE Jackson where Octavian got less than 15 votes.  There will probably be few if any precincts where the reverse is true.   Octavian will win his share of precincts, but there probably won't be many where he is just getting 70-90 percent of the vote.  Prediction: Yarber by 8.  Time to have some fun.

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Stokes tries to understand flood control

Hinds County Supervisor Kenneth Stokes tried to understand flood control.  Was even worried about the dam breaking.

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Nothing like some Precious Branding

In the year of the Mayoralship of Charles Tillman (I)

Didn't see this one coming. Dilday, Precious, and Brand busted and all of them pointing their fingers at each other.  I would be lying if I said I didn't find this quite amusing.  Everyone knows about the attack ads levied at Yarber.  Chokwe Octavian Augustus Lumumba (I went ahead and Caesarized him) denounced the ads.  The Clarion-Ledger suffered from an outbreak of serious reporting:

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Vote today.

We got a Mayoratorial race in Jackson today.  Consider this an open thread.

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Monday, April 21, 2014

Irony.

Paul Gallo said the Tea Party was acting like Democrats.  Hmmm..... and who takes government money? Supertalk or the Tea Party?

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Tony Yarber is staying positive



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JPD arrests teens accused of carjacking, sexual assualt

The Jackson Police Department issued the following press release:

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Tomorrow on Ben & Allen


Call in number is 601-366-1180.  Available on Tunein Radio app.  

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Interesting.

Hinds County Supervisor Tony Greer brought up the issue of charging Jackson more money for the cost of housing prisoners. He used this information to justify his stance:

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Latest crime stats

Here are the latest crime stats for Jackson, Rankin County, Byram, Clinton, and Madison. Yes, I am still having to file public records requests to get crime reports since Mayor Lumumba took them down off of the city website when he assumed office.

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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Airwave termination

I forgot to post this video of the termination of the Airwave contract by the Hinds County Board of Supervisors a month ago. The board voted 3-2 to terminate the contract. The board awarded a $4.2 million contract to maintain the county radio system in 2008. The county was paying nearly $70,000 per month. Emergency Operations Center Director Ricky Moore said his department could assume many of the functions. Mr. Moore also discussed his rather interesting dealings with Airwave:

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Saturday, April 19, 2014

Dem Bones

Came across this scene on Turner Classic Movies while channel-surfing yesterday. Awesome clip. 

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Questions for the Prime Minister

Best political theater on tv and it's real.

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Barack Chamberlain?

Matthew Kaminski wrote a very penetrating column that appeared in the Wall Street Journal a few days ago. Guess Ukraine has learned the hard way not to depend on the U.S. for help:

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Friday, April 18, 2014

This week on Ben Allen Show

Ben Allen discussed the One Lake plan with John McGowan and Dallas Quinn on his radio show Tuesday. Since this is not a sponsored post, comments are allowed.


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Just a coincidence.


Compare the vocations of members of the Jackson Public School District Board of Trustees to those of other local school board members.  The vocations and district ratings are posted below.  There is a trend. I was not able to obtain the vocations for Hinds and Canton school board members.  Of course, the trend has nothing to do with school performance. Nothing at all.

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Samarion execs indicted in two states

The U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Mississippi issued this press release:

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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Remembering the Titanic

Note: Posted this two years ago.  I thought I would post this again since today is the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.  

This week is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.  I thought it would be interesting to pull up the local newspapers to see how they reported the disaster so I went to the Department of Archives yesterday and copied some of the coverage from the Jackson Daily News and Jackson Clarion-Ledger.  The stories are posted below. I apologize for their configuration.  I was copying from microfiche and the newspapers back then were printed using very small columns. Part of the print itself was blurry regardless of the adjustments made on the machine. The stories are posted below. The easiest way to read them is to download them so you can rotate and maximize the view as need be.

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Company was not a good Samarion

Here is an interesting little complaint filed in bankruptcy court in 2011 against Ridgeland-based Samarion, Inc, Samarion officers, and several directors.  The bankruptcy trustee alleged Mark Rodgers and Samer N'Ser raised over $16 million from investors to finance  the creation of a super duper new-fangled hi-tech patient monitoring system for healthcare facilities.  However, the company ended up filing bankruptcy. Here are some nice little excerpts from the complaint.

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Need a good burger? Head East.

We were leaving the Frazier hearing yesterday and just happened to see a chalkboard touting some "bad ass burgers" on the corner of State and Tombigbee.  Being rather famished, we decided to try out the sponsor of this poor man's billboard, One Block East.  There was definitely some truth in advertising.  The hamburger was delicious. The meat was not too spicy but definitely had some flavor.  Nice, butter flavored bun. Blended well with the beef.  The fries were seasoned and slightly on the crispy side.  The menu touts mainly burgers.  The waitress said they were going to expand the menu.  My question is why?  Do one thing and do it well. One Block East does provide take out service.  The phone number is 601-944-0203. 

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WJNT yesterday

Pete Perry appeared on the show to discuss the Senate and Mayoratorial elections. 


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Paying to play at the Rez

The Pearl River Valley Water Supply District issued the following press release:

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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

60 months!

Judge Keith Starrett sentenced Claiborne Frazier to sixty months in prison, $10,000 fine, and supervised release for three years.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

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The Nosef-Tea Party food fight goes national

The public spat between Mississippi GOP Chairman Joe Nosef and the Central Mississippi Tea Party became more public as Breitbart.com picked up the story.  Breitbart reported:

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Real Face of Mississippi Government

Meet the real face of Mississippi government: Frontier Strategies. Frontier is rapidly becoming the gatekeeper for all things political in Mississippi, as it lands state contracts and lobbies for clients while serving as Governor Phil Bryant's campaign manager.  The chart below shows the breadth of the Frontier wingspan. The company was formed by politicos Josh Gregory and Quenton Dickerson in 2003.

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How one town broadened its broadband.

It's no secret Jackson's bid to obtain C-Spire's new high-speed internet services was rejected by the company. The decision means Jacksonians must obtain internet service from either AT&T or Comcast. The speed of AT&T leaves something to be desired and well, let's face it, not everyone is enthralled with Comcast. A situation faced by more than a few cities. Lafayette, Louisiana took care of the problem itself. Lafayette built its own fiber-optic network. Will it be a waste of money or a good return on investment? Time will tell. USA Today reported two years ago:

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Nosef fires back

Mississippi GOP Chairman Joe Nosef issued this statement after the Central Mississippi Tea Party called for his resignation:

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Monday, April 14, 2014

Fatality on Hoy Road

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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Ben Allen show tomorrow: all things Pearl River

John McGowan and Dallas Quinn will appear on Ben Allen's radio show tomorrow on WJNT, 1180 AM to discuss the flooding and the One Lake project.  Very timely appearance.  Call-in number is 601-366-1180.  The show is also available on the Tunein Radio app.  Show runs from 8:05 to 9:00 AM.

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Senate race FOOD FIGHT!!!

There will be a Senate race update in a couple of days but the race turned a little more ugly today.  The knives have been replaced by lead pipes and crowbars.

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Jackson mayoral race edition of We Report, You Decide.

The Jackson Advocate published this letter endorsing Chokwe Lumumba, Jr. for Mayor. Since the newspaper has a limited circulation and does not have a diverse readership, JJ is posting the letter in an effort to help the Jackson Advocate reach more readers.

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Blast from the past

Who can forget this um, line of Bull.  Hard to believe its been 22 years.

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Sunday, April 13, 2014

Baker slams MDOT

Representative Mark Baker (R-Attorney General) wears out MDOT in this short clip of debate that took place in the last week of the legislative session:

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Saturday, April 12, 2014

Argument for argument's sake

Don't feel like blogging today so here is some Flying Circus.

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Friday, April 11, 2014

Tonight: Zoo Brew!!!


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Chokwe Lumumba's last interview

Here is Chokwe Lumumba's last known interview before he passed away.  Yes Magazine interviewed him about the upcoming Jackson Rising conference and his plans to transform Jackson.  Some excerpts:

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When the levee breaks.....

Here are some ariel photos of the floodwater around Jackson.  End of Westbrook is included.

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Thursday, April 10, 2014

Local attorney found dead.

JJ learned that attorney J.B. Goodsell was found dead today at his home by Rankin County authorities.  Sheriff Bryan Bailey said his office responded to a welfare check request by family members. An autopsy is ordered but no foul play is suspected. 

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Morgan Shands & his sister Rachel Shands Buser indicted

A Bolivar County grand jury indicted Morgan Shands and his sister for  embezzling over $613,834 for "his own use" from the Mississippi Delta American Legion Post  #1776.  Mr. Shands and Rachel Sands Buser were charged with two counts of embezzlement.  Mr. Shands is the former campaign manager for then-Lieutenant Governor candidate Billy Hewes.

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CL gets a new look.

Looks like the Clarion-Ledger website a facelift

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15 yrs for Lester the Molester

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael  Guest issued the following press release:

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Faulkner in Hollywood

The scribe from Oxford made a name for himself in Hollywood as a scriptwriter in his younger days.  Garden & Gun magazine published a very good story on this time of Mr. Faulkner's life.  A noted author, he was still broke, stuck in a marriage where the loathing was mutual, and unsure of where he was in life.  Kind of like Frank Sinatra before he landed the Maggio role in From Here to Eternity.

 In 1932, a rising writer from Mississippi found himself amid the bright lights and dry heat of Tinseltown, at the start of what would become a lengthy dalliance with the screenwriting biz. In the wilds of L.A., Faulkner met movie stars, found a bourbon haunt, chased true love, and tried to stay sane in a place that often seemed very far from home

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

WJNT this morning

Jackson City Councilman Tony Yarber appeared on the show this morning. He discussed last night's election results and took phone calls from the listeners.

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Precinct results

35,522 people voted yesterday. An increase of roughly two thousand votes over the primary last year if memory serves me. Here is the precinct report for the primary.

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At least they didn't run for Mayor.

Congrats to Chokwe Lumumba, Jr. and Tony Yarber.  Congrats to the rest of the candidates. Not easy. Raising money, door-knocking, asking for votes.  Then everyone is an expert.  They always have better ideas on how to campaign but never quite seem to be able to get around to running for office themselves.  Having written that little sentence, taking a break this morning.  Here is a story that should keep you entertained.  Pearl prostitutes busted. Damn, have our dregs of society gotten that bad?

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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Election night thread. It's YARBER & LUMUMBA

Here we are.  Another election night. Another campaign behind us.  Time to find out who wins, who loses.  Lets get started.

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Stamps handicaps the race.

City Councilman De'Keither Stamps discusses the race in this video.  Last three minutes or so were pretty good.

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Harvey shucks the corn


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35.5 feet


Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

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Rising to the top?

Speaking of civilization, the Jackson Rising crowd as a few things to say about the election.  Enjoy.

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Barbarians at the gates

It's election day.  We face decisions that must be made.  Crime. Education.  Water problems, road problems. Problems, problems, problems.  However, there is one problem even greater than them all. Something which threatens the very foundation of our society, our culture, yea even civilization itself.

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Tony Yarber for Mayor



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Monday, April 7, 2014

48 hour reports are in.

The three juniors and Yarber turned in 48 hour campaign finance reports.

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Handicapping the Mayor's race

Tomorrow is decision day for Jackson.  Which course will the voters take?  Mayor Chokwe Lumumba's death caught many by surprise.  Will there be more surprises tomorrow? It's the last 24 hour of the campaign.  Social media is aflame with accusations.  Neighborhoods are carpet-bombed with flyers.  Talk radio gets louder.  Deals are cut.  What is a voter to do?   Good thing you came to Jackson Jambalaya as The Kingfish will break down the race for you.

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Regina Quinn: No New Taxes



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Zarathustra speaks

Here are some interesting quotes by Nietzsche:

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Regina Quinn: Jackson working together



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Well, well, well

Little tidbit for the day I thought I'd throw up while I'm writing up today's posts.  Look at page 28 of the Motorola complaint filed by Hinds County and look at who one of the attorneys was. Copy of complaint

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Sunday, April 6, 2014

The gloves are coming off (Video)

Is Octavian ready to be Mayor? Such is the question posed in a video produced about the candidate and son of the late Mayor.  The video posted below came from an anonymous source. I have no idea who produced. None.  That little fact immediately makes it suspect.  The crime data used near the end of the video is questionable and deserves further scrutiny as will be readily apparent.  However, the production value of this video is very good. This was some good editing.  Now back to watching Michael telling Mo who runs Vegas.

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NWS requests EAS activation

Update: New bulleting posted at 9:07 PM.  Scroll down to see text of update. 

The National Weather Service requested activation of EAS (Emergency Alert System):

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And.... Bennie comes out for Junior

Bennie Thompson cut this ad for Melvin Priester, Jr:

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Flood warning in effect for Hinds & Rankin

Looks like we might get some flooding in Jackson. The National Weather Service issued these statements:

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Time to part-ay with Harvey



Comments are open.  Consider this an open thread on the Mayor's race.  Who knew that Harvey actually knew how to have fun? ;-)

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AP: Good luck trying to buy health insurance

 Update: A representative of Blue Cross/Blue Shield Mississippi said the company will continue to sell health insurance policies outside of the exchange and outside of the open enrollment period.  There are no plans to institute a deadline or "cut-off" date for purchasing health insurance at this time. 


Didn't purchase health insurance during the open enrollment period for Obamacare? Think you can walk into Blue Cross* and purchase a policy?  Guess again.  The Associated Press reported:

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Symphony tonight

Program consisted of Beethoven's 3rd Concerto and Mussorgsky's Pictures of an Exhibition.  Here they are if you missed the show, with a little twist. Leopold did not appear.

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Saturday, April 5, 2014

Texting bill dies in House

Time to take a look at the texting and driving bill.  The House passed HB #484 that would ban texting and driving by those under the age of eighteen on February 13.  Those voting against it were:

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The Return of the Hemp

We discovered her last year but WAPT made her a star.  Lionized by Marshall Ramsey. The Hemp Lady:

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Meet John Horhn today

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Friday, April 4, 2014

No comment.

Is someone a candidate with special needs?

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Frazier update: Postponed

U.S. District Judge Keith Starrett was scheduled to sentence Claiborne Frazier this morning.  However, Judge Starrett reset sentencing for April 16,  2014 at 9:00 am.  Mr. Frazier apparently obtained the services of attorney Dennis Horn and sought continuance.

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Judge Tomie Green suspends criminal proceedings in Hinds County

Hinds County SENIOR Circuit Judge Tomie Green issued this email and order this morning:

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Thursday, April 3, 2014

John Horhn: Helping Jackson



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Showing you the money

Here are the campaign finance reports. Link.

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Free the Land, Free the People, Free the Copyright!!!

This idea popped into my head so The Kingfish commissioned an artist to draw the cartoon.  Same thing Gary Trudeau does on a daily basis.  Power, my brothers. 

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Scumbags gonna scumbag

Looks like the dirty crap surface in the race for Jackson Mayor.  Check out this photo:

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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Sanderson Farms Champeenship moving to CCJ

From the Annandale Golf Club website:

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Meet Tony Yarber tomorrow for coffee

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WJNT today

We discussed the Mayor's race on the show. Pete Perry called in for the second half of the show and continued the discussion. 


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JFP endorses Chokwe Lumumba, Jr.

The Jackson Free Press endorsed Chokwe Lumumba, Jr. for Mayor today. Some excerpts:

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CNBC FOOD FIGHT!!!

The question that stirred this fracas: Are the markets rigged?

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Just one question

Remember this little press conference by Margaret Barrett-Simon announcing her candidacy for Mayor?

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Haley on geography, Melanie on Thad, Roll Call: Thad is an underdog?

Here is a round-up of recent coverage on the Senate race:

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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Canton alderman candidate convicted of voter fraud

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Republicans for Chowke?

Politics does make for strange bedfellows but this?  Sorry, am having fun with Mr. Reeves. Just could not resist.

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Horrible.

The Sun-Herald reported the gruesome details on the murder of Amanda Salas by her ex-boyfriend.  It starts out with the worst part of the whole story:

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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