Monday, May 27, 2024

UMC Graduates Over 900 Students

 Gary Pettus authored the following post for UMC. 

George Doby’s oldest child was 5 when he earned his bachelor’s degree in nursing school.




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Snitch in Marshand Crisler Case Revealed

Murder suspect Tonarri Moore is an informant in the prosecutions against Marshand Crisler and Torrance Mayfield.  

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Sunday, May 26, 2024

Masterpiece Theatre

 A true masterpiece recently popped up on Paramount Plus.  That's right, the 1980 version of Shogun is now available for streaming. If you want to see some great tv, this mini-series is well worth your time.  The current version on Hulu and FX is quite good as well.

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Boo!

A trans "woman" won the Washington (State) High School 400m State Championship Friday by a full second over the nearest competitor.  

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A Personal Thing

 What happens when God comes to visit?  The children of Israel found out as they gathered before Mount Sinai.  The stiff-necked people remained stiff-necked and sent poor Moses on a lifetime mission of shuttle diplomacy.  The late Dr. Frank Pollard preached they had it all wrong as they rejected freedom. Hear what he has to say in the 1996 sermon posted below.  

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Bill Crawford: Cut School Taxes for Tax Relief

Speaker Jason White wants to study elimination of income taxes and cuts to grocery sales taxes. He ought to focus on property taxes. That’s more the interest of supervisors, mayors, and school officials along with lots of taxpayers.

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Saturday, May 25, 2024

Councilman: D.A. Shopped "Investors" for Downtown Projects

 A Jackson City Councilman said Hinds County District Jody Owens and several out of state "investors" met with him in February to discuss the convention center hotel and related projects. 

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D.L. Gardner: Motherhood is a Praiseworthy Vocation

It’s difficult to listen to those who are offended by “everything.” Of all the things that have offended the weakest among us, few of us ever imagined that “motherhood” could be offensive to anyone. And yet, the sanctity and praise of motherhood by a commencement speaker has been besmirched mercilessly by many who consider motherhood to be inferior to a professional career.

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Wanted: Tonarri Moore

 Tonarri Moore is wanted for murder.  WJTV reported: 

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Friday, May 24, 2024

Good Grub If You Can Get It

 Correction on earlier post posted below.

Smith-Wills Stadium is quite the cash cow for Tim Bennett.  The baseball enthusiast operates Churchill's Smoke Shoppe at the stadium.  However, the cigar bar is not his only cash cow.  Mr. Bennett leases the parking lot to the Veterans Administration for $370,000 per year.  

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Clinton Police Seek Shooting Suspects

 The Clinton Police Department issued the following statement. 

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MCPP: The Speaker Speaks

The Speaker of the Mississippi House of Representatives, Jason White,  spelled out his vision for Mississippi last week at a luncheon sponsored by the Mississippi Center for Public Policy.  He talked about school choice, tax cuts, reforming healthcare laws, and yes, restoring the ballot initiative.  Enjoy. 

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Greens and Pork Loin Chops

I have been accused of making recipe posts that were too complicated and that is probably true. Here is one that is country boy simple and straight forward. Its tasty too.


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Thursday, May 23, 2024

Funny of the Day

 It's college baseball tournament time and for today's funny, we have this little gem from the Lone Star State. 

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EPA Blows Off Mayor Lumumba

The Mayor tried to get JXN Water Manager Ted Henifin in trouble with the EPA, oh how he tried.  For all of his troubles however, the EPA blew off Mayor Lumumba.  

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Crime-Buster of the Year

 Rankin-Madison District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, May 22, 2024

The Animals of Gaza

 Animals. Savages.  Barbarians.  Such words are too kind to describe Hamas terrorists as they taunted captured Israeli women, women beaten and bloodied, with promises of rape and Hamas babies. 

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UMC First in State to Offer CAR T Therapy

 Rachel Vanderford authored the following press release for UMC. 

When Patricia Hurrod's aggressive cancer continued to defy chemotherapy and radiation, she found hope in a groundbreaking, advanced treatment offered only in the state at the University of Mississippi Medical Center. 

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Robert St. John: My Kind of Town

CHICAGO— No one would ever accuse me of being a creature of habit. Other than my morning breakfast routine, I have managed to live a life free from getting pigeonholed into repetitive activities. There aren’t too many places I visit on an annual basis. For the past quarter of a century my wife, two kids, and various groups of their friends spend a week on the beach in the Florida Panhandle. But other than that, there is only Chicago.

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Feds Search D.A.'s Office (Updated)

 The Fibbers are executing a search warrant on the Hinds County District Attorney's office and the Downtown Cigar Company on Pearl Street. Mr. Owens owns the cigar bar.  

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Sid Salter: Does La. Supreme Court Case Signal Changes in Southern Delegations?

In a Louisiana congressional redistricting case, the Supreme Court decided last week to allow the state to use congressional maps that created a second Black majority district among the state’s six total districts.

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Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Breaking Ground

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement yesterday. 

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Churchill Smoke Shoppe Leaving Smith-Wills

 Note: Comment in the earlier post today. 

Churchill Smoke Shoppe announced on Facebook it is shutting down for now: 

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Asylum Hill Discoveries: Something Personal

 Gary Pettus authored the following essay for the University of Mississippi Medical Center. 

 It was Dustin Clarke who found the wedding band with the inscription, “Ever true to thee,” in an unmarked grave.

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Lyin' Lumumba: Smith-Wills Edition (Updated)

 Churchill's busted for selling liquor without permit

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba accused the state of racism after Governor Tate Reeves signed a bill that would terminate the lease of Smith-Wills Stadium with the city of Jackson.  Standard stuff for the Mayor when he can't get his way. 

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Forte Gets Life for Killing Own Family

Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Monday, May 20, 2024

Boo!

 Check out the Oregon State Championship Women's 200m race. Notice anything? 

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Mayor: Jackson Owns Smith-Wills

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba held his regular press briefing. It is posted below.

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Board Expels Gun-Totin' Supervisor

Is there something in the water in District 2 of Hinds County? 

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Barely Half of Jackson Third-Graders Pass Reading Test

The "reading-gate" scores are in and unfortunately, nearly half the kids in Jackson are not reading.  JPS's third-grade "reading-gate" scores plummeted to 54% this year.  You read that correctly.  Barely half of Jackson third graders can read at grade level.  The results are rather disappointing as 67% passed the test  last year.  

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Mr. Saturday Night is Coming to Brandon

 Red Mountain Entertainment issued the following press release. 

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Sunday, May 19, 2024

State Unemployment Drops to Record 2.8%

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Quenching the Thirst

 "Water, water, everywhere nor any drop to drink" is a famous line penned by Coleridge.  However, what if you are dying of thirst and although surrounded by water, you refuse to drink?  Sporting a turtleneck, the late Dr. Frank Pollard comes back to life as he discusses this conundrum as he preaches from Psalm 42 in the 1996 sermon posted below.  Enjoy.

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Bill Crawford: Legislature Responds to People Held in Jail too Long

Two recent editorials in Emmerich newspapers deserve our attention. Both dealt with people held in jail too long and the legislative responses this past session.

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Saturday, May 18, 2024

Facebook Robber Caught

 The Byram Police Department issued the following statement.

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D.L. Gardner: Democrats Fundamentally Transform America

Why have the media, academic elite and global elite attacked President Trump since he announced his run for president in 2015? Why did all these forces continually attack him and demean his supporters throughout his first term in office? Who benefits if Trump is ineffective? Who benefitted from Trump’s policies?

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MSU Football Player Accused of Sucker-Punching Student (Updated)

Injuries included a brain bleed

The attorney for a Mississippi State University student is demanding the Oktibbeha County District Attorney and MSU leadership take action against MSU football player Demonte Russell after he allegedly "cold-cocked" the student, causing serious injury.  

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Friday, May 17, 2024

Progress!

 The construction of the Top Golf development is moving along rather nicely.  It is supposed to open before Christmas.  

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MCPP: Is Mississippi's Education System Good Enough? No. Here's Why

Many university degrees produce a negative return on investment, according to a report out this week. Data from the Foundation for Research on Equal Opportunity shows that the cost of many college degrees is not offset by increases in lifetime earnings.

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Rankin County Man Indicted for Molesting Family Member

 A Rankin County grand jury indicted Nicholas Webb for sexual battery and statutory rape on April 25.

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BBQ'ed Pork Time

 When you see the Miller bottles in this photo, you will know this is not a new recipe.



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Thursday, May 16, 2024

Operation Payback Pays Off

State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Strike?

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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"Get These Kids the Hell out of Here".

Let's face it, after enduring what took place at Parham Bridges Park and Ridgeland this week, we've had a rough week so it's time for a little bit lighter fare.  The Solons at Duke University, yes, the people who wear those funny outfits at graduation, made the mistake of inviting Jerry Seinfeld to speak at its commencement ceremony last Saturday.   If you want to punish yourself, the speech and transcript are posted below.  Enjoy. 

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Search Underway in Rankin County

Update: Sheriff Bryan Bailey said nothing was found. 

Police are looking for a body on Tazan Road in Rankin County right now.   

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"No Shame in His Game"

 "There was no shame in his game."  So said JPD Chief Joseph Wade as he announced at a press conference yesterday that Daveon Lindsey confessed to killing Melvin McNair, Jr. at Parham Bridges Park. 

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Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Enter the Dragon

HBO dropped a trailer for House of the Dragon yesterday.  Team Black or Team Green?

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Beth Ann White Gets 110 Years

 Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Chase!

 JPD is chasing the suspect in the Parham Bridges murder right now.  Chase started around Walgreens (Canton Mart) and is now on the frontage road.  

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Robert St. John: My Top 25 Cookbooks

The view from my desk is inspirational. I’ve been in the same office for 27 years. There are no windows, but I have surrounded myself with things that inspire me and things that I love.

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Death at Parham Bridges

 A body was found at Parham Bridges Park this morning.  WLBT reported: 

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Sid Salter: Farm Bill Draws More Attention to Snap Payments

On Capitol Hill, the calendar is driving increased partisan attention on the new U.S. Farm Bill. The current 2018 Farm Bill will expire on Sept. 30. Congress and President Joe Biden extended the five-year original term of the bill on Nov. 16, 2023.

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Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Carly Gregg Goes Back to Court

Carly Gregg tried to get her million dollar bond lowered and close the courtroom today but Rankin County Court Judge David Morrow postponed the hearing to June 4 after her lawyer, Caleb Coleman, failed to follow notice requirements for filing such motions.  

Gregg & Attorney Caleb Coleman

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Smith-Wills Repo'ed

 The state of Mississippi is taking back Smith-Wills Stadium.  HB #1983, Section 22 states: 

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Jewish Students Stand Up

Enough is enough.  Tired of the hatred for all things Jewish at Columbia, 540 Jewish students at the Ivy League school stood up to the hate they have experienced since October 7.  Unlike the protestors who hide behind masks, they signed their names to a letter describing their treatment at their own university for the past seven months while making a damn good defense of what it means to be Jewish.  The letter is posted below.   

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Over 100 Schools Victimized in Bid-Rigging Scheme

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Monday, May 13, 2024

Last Call for........Something

 Last Call, anyone?

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Triple Murder Suspect Killed in Shootout

 The Ridgeland Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Police ID Victims in Triple Murder Case

   The Ridgeland Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Let the Games Begin

 And they are off to the races.  KIM Waaaaaaade announced last week he will run for Mayor of Jackson at the Jacksonians for Jackson meeting.    His speech is posted below.  Fire away. 

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Sunday, May 12, 2024

Triple Homicide in Ridgeland

 There was a triple homicide in a home at 7146 Old Canton Road in Ridgeland today.   The house is south of the intersection of Rice and Old Canton Roads.  

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When You Think You Are Important

 Stubborness versus truth. It's a conflict that plagues us since the beginning of time.  Unfortunately, the world today is amoral and rejects truth.  What is one to do in such a world? The late Dr. Frank Pollard offered some advice in the 1996 sermon posted below.  Enjoy.

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Bill Crawford: Cheap Drones may Dramatically Change Naval Warfare

Ingalls Shipbuilding in Pascagoula, employing over 11,000 workers, is the largest shipbuilder on the Gulf Coast and is currently constructing Arleigh Burke-class destroyers and the San Antonio-class amphibious transport dock.

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Saturday, May 11, 2024

Welcome to Jackson, Mississippi

Warning: Partial physical and psychological nudity posted below. 

 Doing the Bold in the Bold New City.

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D.L. Gardner: Yom Ha Shoah, Remembering the Holocaust

Yom HaShoah, “Holocaust Remembrance Day,” was May 6 this year. Many of us commemorated six million Jews who were brutally starved, gassed, burned, shot, and tortured between 1933 and 1945 before Allied forces liberated 23 primary concentration camps along with literally thousands of other kinds of camps where Nazis terrorized, tormented, and terminated “undesirables.” Never forget!

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Boil Water Notice Lifted

 Backup power plans in the works

JXN Water issued the following statement. 

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Friday, May 10, 2024

Mayor Declares State of Emergency, Boil Water Notice Issued

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba and JXN Water issued the following statement. 

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Waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!

 The NAACP is not too happy about the EPA's rejection of its civil rights complaint against the state of Mississippi.  The NAACP issued the following statement. 

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MCPP: A Good Week For Education Reform

This has been a good week for education reform in Mississippi. Our lawmakers might not agree on much, but last Saturday, they finally voted to replace the old education funding formula with the new Mississippi Student Funding Formula.

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Tex-Mex Anyone?

Tex Mex food is great, and I enjoy eating out at Mexican Restaurants as much as the next gringo, but cooking the stuff at home is nice too. 


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Power Outage at O.B. Curtis

 JXN Water issued the following statement

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Thursday, May 9, 2024

Food Fight: Ivory Tower Edition

 The Honor Society issued the following press release. 

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EPA Dismisses NAACP Complaint Against State

The Brothers Johnson* struck out again after the EPA dismissed the NAACP's environmental civil rights complaint against the Mississippi State Department of Health this week.  The NAACP's complaint blamed Jackson's water failure on the state discriminating against Jackson for years because it was a majority-black city.  

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Voter ID Lessons can Drive Healthcare Reform Legislation

 Lieutenant Governor Delbert Hosemann authored and sponsored this post.  

In 2011, as your Secretary of State, when I proposed a new policy to protect your vote — and the integrity of our elections — I was told repeatedly that Mississippi’s newly enacted Voter ID law would not pass constitutional muster. The U.S. Department of Justice will single out Mississippi, they said, and they will sue in federal court to stop our Voter ID law.

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Food Stamp Fraud Busted

 The Mississippi Department of Human Services issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Flashback!

 Once upon a time, Jimmy Ruble was a boss!

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UMC Seeks Black Participants for World's Largest Autism Study

 Annie Oeth authored the following press release for UMC. 

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Happy Anniversary!

 It was 200 years ago yesterday since one of the finest pieces of music ever created debuted.  

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EPA Clears MDEQ in Jackson Environmental Racism Complaint

The Mississippi Department of Environmental Quality issued the following statement. 

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Robert St. John: Travel Connections

QUEENS, NEW YORK— After 62 years, and millions of miles logged, I have learned that travel is about one thing— connection.

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Sid Salter: Missed Opportunity, Yes, but Medicaid Expansion's Prospects Changed This Session

While not an absolute, it’s been my experience that political change comes slowly in Mississippi – as slowly as molasses on a cold biscuit.

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Tuesday, May 7, 2024

They Mad

 Some people are not too happy with Mississippi Congressman Mike Ezell.

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Ex-Sheriff Liked Some Jail Porn

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Ole Miss Frat Boy's Indictment Gets Bleached

An Ole Miss student got a sweet deal even though he burned out a fraternity pledge's esophagus by pouring bleach down his throat. 

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Idiot of the Day

Update: Video replaced with longer video showing protestor was flipping off frat boys.  

Someone apparently got stupid at the pro-Hamas rally on the Ole Miss campus last week.  

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Monday, May 6, 2024

Oops!

 Hate it when this happens to me on the road. 

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Mayor Holds Regular Press Conference

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba is holding his weekly press conference right now.  The presser is streamed below. 

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Rotten Candy on the Coast

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

A Biloxi City Councilman pleaded guilty to conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute a Schedule I controlled substance.

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Free!

 William McHenry is a free man. 

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Sunday, May 5, 2024

Shooting at Ridgeland Apartments (Updated)

 The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation issued the following statement. 

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Beginning in your Head

"We don't commit all the sins in the Bible but there's one,  there's always at least one, there is that what the Bible calls the besetting sin.  That sin that sits down with us, that thought that sits down with us, that thing that nags us, that chink in our armor that's always there. There's always that one thing and how many of us have been caught up in a ruinous repetition of sin and repenting and repeating...." Thus preached the late Dr. Frank Pollard as he compared that chink to the mudflaps on a truck.  Enjoy the rest of his message in the 1996 sermon posted below.   

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Bill Crawford: Hosemann Wrench Doomed Medicaid Expansion

As the world turns so too does Lt. Gov. Delbert Hosemann. A year ago he championed expansion of Medicaid to benefit mothers and children. During last year’s elections he championed Medicaid reform to benefit the working poor. This year, with the House finally ready to act, he threw a monkey wrench into the works. Hosemann said he is for Medicaid expansion, but only if it includes a work requirement.

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Saturday, May 4, 2024

The Return of the Cleese

Ready for some French taunting?  

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Stolen Heavy Equipment Recovered

 MDAC Commish Andy Gipson issued the following statement. 

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D.L. Gardner: Destroying America

Former President Donald Trump is facing four trials timed to interfere with his campaign for president. His case before the U.S. Supreme Court could decide whether presidents are immune from prosecution. Maybe “No one is above the law,” but maybe some should have never been above the law.

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Friday, May 3, 2024

Caught!

 The Capitol Police issued the following statement. 

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Screams Before Silence

October 7 was the worst day for Jews since the Holocaust as Hamas butchered over 1,200 people and wounded thousands more.  What stood out was the sheer savagery of Hamas as they massacred men, women, and children.  Scores of women were raped and mutilated.  Victims and corpses were paraded naked in the streets.  A true day of horror. However, such should not be forgotten as time passes.  

Former Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg produced Screams before Silence, an hour-long program about October 7.  Rape victims, first responders, and former hostages tell their stories of how Hamas made Jewish women their sexual toys, often before killing them. The video is posted below and is well worth the watch.

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Dau Mabil's Wife Issues Statement

 Karissa Bowley issued the following press release. 

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MCPP: School Choice for me but not for Thee

Ever wondered why there has been so little progress towards school choice in Mississippi?

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Non-Adjudicated!

 Jackson City President Aaron Banks can breathe a little bit easier.  

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5 Years for Bank Fraud

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Green Fluffy Stuff - Diabetic Friendly

 Back in the day, I just about lived on this stuff from the Student Union Grill at MSU. Looks both Green and Fluffy, doesn't it?


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Thursday, May 2, 2024

Protest at Ole Miss

Gazan Arab supporters found themselves heavily outnumbered at a protest they held at Ole Miss today.

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Guilty!

 Beth Ann White is going to prison.  Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Chancellor Allows Independent Autopsy

 Hinds County Chancellor Dewayne Thomas ruled Bul Mabil can obtain an independent autopsy but placed a few conditions on the autopsy.  Judge Thomas held: 

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Embezzling Band Mom Going to Prison

Embezzling $42,000 from the Brandon High School Booster Club Band landed Donna Floyd in prison.

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Fitch Sues to Stop Assault on Women's Rights

 Attorney General Lynn Fitch issued the following statement Monday. 

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Wednesday, May 1, 2024

Medicaid Referendum?

 Speaker of the House Jason White and Lieutenant Governor Delbert Hosemann issued the following statements. 

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"I Think I'm Done"

Sparks flew in the courtroom yesterday as the late Dau Mabil's brother and wife sparred over who had the right to order an independent autopsy of his body. The courtroom drama revealed Mabil and his wife experienced marital problems shortly before his disappearance.  Hinds County Chancellor Dewayne Thomas will rule on the case by tomorrow.

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Enter To Win

 This post is sponsored and authored by Mississippi State Treasurer David McRae. 

It's a rivalry for the ages... Ole Miss vs. Mississippi State.


Tonight, that pair will face off at the College Series Baseball game in Pearl, Mississippi. If you plan to attend, please stop by the Mississippi College and Career Savings tent (on the concourse of Trustmark Park) to talk with me and sign up for the chance to win one of TWO $1,000 MACS scholarships.


I hope this extra cash will help a couple of local families get a little closer to sending their child or grandchild to one of Mississippi's state-of-the-art universities. They're both institutions we can be awfully proud of.

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Robert St. John: A True Magical Mystery Tour

LIVERPOOL— I am midway through a 10-day tour of England and Scotland with a group of 26 Americans. All have travelled with me before. For a few of them it’s their seventh trip as my guests. They are a stellar crew and I have become friends with all of them before this current journey started.

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Sid Salter: County Hall of Fame Celebrates Bygone Values in the Current Athletics Landscape

It was my privilege a decade ago to speak at the inaugural Scott County Sports Hall of Fame induction when the organization was founded. For the induction of the 2024 class, organizers invited me back to help honor this year’s class.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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