Sunday, June 30, 2024

Stay Tuned

 Check out Item #43 on the agenda for Tuesday's meeting of the Jackson City Council. 

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Convenience Gods

"Killing is your ultimate power, dying is my ultimate power. My sermons are all over the land. If you kill me, my sermons will be sprinkled with my blood," said Pastor Josef Tson to his Romanian torturers before he was exiled in 1981.  The late Dr. Frank Pollard recounted how this particular sheep survived among CeauČ™escu's wolves solely through faith as he wove Tson's story into the 1996 sermon about the Ten Commandments posted below.  Enjoy. 

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Bill Crawford: Digital Terrorist Attack U.S. Daily

Hostile nations make war on the U.S. every day, attacking critical military and civilian infrastructure. If they were using traditional weapons, we know that our military preparedness would yield a quick and deadly response. Sustained attacks in this new digital world, however, don’t get that intensity of response. Our preparedness continues to be lacking.

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Saturday, June 29, 2024

Madison Man Charged in $12 Million Medicare Attack

 The Justice Department issued the following statement Thursday. 

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Ouch!

 Jon Stewart had a few things to say about the Presidential debate on the Daily Show. 

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D.L. Gardner: Public Education in America

The usual suspects have been moaning and bemoaning Louisiana legislation that requires a poster-size display of the Ten Commandments with “large, easily readable font” to be displayed in every classroom at any school receiving state funding from kindergarten through university-level. Before Governor Landry signed the bill he reportedly said, “If you want to respect the rule of law, you gotta start from the original law giver, which was Moses. He got his commandments from God.”

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Friday, June 28, 2024

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!!!

 The Clown returns for an encore performance.   

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MCPP: When Will Mississippi See School Choice?

Mississippi is almost surrounded by states that have school choice. Why don’t we?

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Pearl on Boil Water Notice

 Pearl Mayor Jake Windham issued the following statement. 

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Lumumba Unvarnished

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba whipped out the race card and accused the state of trying to make Jackson "less black" in a conversation secretly recorded by former Deputy Public Works Director Mary Carter.  The recording was revealed in Ms. Carter's federal civil trial this week. 

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Veggies from the Garden Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

 We could eat fancy smanchy, but this is better.


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Thursday, June 27, 2024

25 Years for Fentanyl Distribution

 Madison-Rankin District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement.

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North Mississippi to Get New Area Code

 The Mississippi Public Service Commission issued the following statement. 

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Street Madness at Liberal Trinity Church

 An obviously mentally-disturbed naked woman busted out the windows of Liberal Trinity Church of God recently.  A Facebook videographer captured the act of destruction on video.  

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White Smoke Appears. Pope to Lead MBN

 The Mississippi Department of Public Safety issued the following statement yesterday. 

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Mary Carter Trial Update: More Dirt

Update: City wins. 

Former Jackson Deputy Public Work Director Mary Carter will learn her fate in federal court today.  Ms. Carter sued the city of Jackson for wrongful termination after she was fired in 2022.  She claimed she was fired for talking to the media about the Public Works Department.  WLBT reported last night:  

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Wednesday, June 26, 2024

Woman Sentenced for Counterfeit Money

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Police Brutality? We Report, You Decide.

A Pearl man accused Pearl Police of police brutality after a Pearl police officer tased him in his home during a neighborhood disturbance on Father's Day. However, Pearl police said body cam videos tell the real story of what took place.  Leon Seals (not the Constable) posted these two videos on Facebook: 

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Robert St. John: The Bear Truths

The third season of the Hulu original program, “The Bear” will air this week. If you’re unfamiliar with the series, it’s an intense, frenetic, high-paced show about disfunction, passion, commitment, growth, failure, and success. Or more succinctly, it’s about the restaurant business.

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Mary Carter Stands Up for Herself

After suffering a blistering attack on her credibility Monday, former Jackson Deputy Public Works Director Mary Carter fired back at her former superiors yesterday in federal court.  WLBT's Anthony Warren reported: 

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Sid Salter: Change in Senate Partisan Control Could Elevate Wicker To Key Chairmanship

Perhaps better than anyone before him, the late U.S. Sen. John C. Stennis understood what Mississippi’s military infrastructure meant to the state in terms of jobs, influence and improving the daily lives of the people of the state.

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Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Fire!

 A car caught fire at the Meadowbrook exit during afternoon rush hour.    

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Forestry Consultant Must Pay Up

Pike County Circuit Judge David Strong ordered forestry consultant Jeff Taylor to pay Ridgway Management $306,747 by July 9 yesterday.  Ridgway accused Taylor of pocketing the money it was owed under a timber harvesting contract.  

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State Unemployment Rate Falls to Record Low

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Mary Carter Has a Bad Day in Court

 Things didn't go so well for former Jackson Deputy Public Works Director Mary Carter in federal court yesterday when her former boss said she was lazy and refused to do her job.  WLBT's Anthony Warren reported: 

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Monday, June 24, 2024

St. Paddy's Day Parade Killer Gets Life

Jordan Cummins will spend the rest of his life in prison after Hinds County Circuit Judge Faye Peterson pronounced sentence upon him today.   A jury convicted Cummins of two counts of first-degree murder last week.  The sentencing video is posted below.

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Merry Christmas

 It appears we might have a dark Christmas this year.  Check out what is coming to the theatre Christmas Day. 

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Tyson Plant Hit

 Some rather bold thieves hit the Tyson chicken plant recently.  

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The Flag Chapel Fights

 Two gentlemen engaged in a friendly debate on Flag Chapel Road last week.   Got to love Jackson.  

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Sunday, June 23, 2024

Gentle Parenting = Taco Bell Breakfast

 Fed up with out of control brats in public, Bill Maher said it's time to bring back "trad dads" who don't "kowtow to brats."  Enjoy the monologue. 

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Show Me

"I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way. The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear," said the late Dr. Frank Pollard as he recited a poem* in the 1996 sermon posted below.  Leading by example instead of by word is so easy yet so hard.  Enjoy the preaching.  


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Bill Crawford: Calumniators Should not Escape Punishment

Have you been calumniated lately? For those of us who dare venture into the public domain as commentators, such has become par for the course. But perhaps nothing dissuades good men and women from becoming candidates for public office more than the risk, no likelihood, of calumny.

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Saturday, June 22, 2024

Recovery?

 Check out the Cock of the Walk parking lot at 7 last night.

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Dau Mabil's Brother Attacks Autopsy

The State Medical Examiner's Office determined Dau Mabil did not die of foul play.  However, Mabil's brother attacked the autopsy, alleging Dau's in-laws killed him.  The autopsy report is posted below.

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D.L. Gardner: International Interference in 2024 Election

Many Americans have been anxious about millions of immigrants coming into America from nearly every nation on earth during Biden’s administration. Last week eight people from Tajikistan were arrested in New York, Philadelphia and Los Angeles on immigration violations. Authorities are still investigating whether any of them have links with the Islamic State (IS). How many terrorists have crossed the border in the past four years? Where are they? Have they formed terrorist cells?

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Friday, June 21, 2024

KIDZ BOP Coming to Brandon

Red Mountain Entertainment issued the following press release. 

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Smith-Wills Update: Rent? What Rent?

Was Jackson short-changed more than $500,000 on the Smith-Wills Stadium lease?  Tim Bennett's Kusche Sports Group is supposed to pay the city at least $125,000 per year but since this is Jackson, he has only paid $32,500, a mere drop in the rent bucket.  

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Shad Busts Landscape Architect

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Popeye Would be So Proud

Do you remember having spinach on your elementary school cafeteria lunch plate? Well, this ain't some kin'da school lunch spinach!


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Thursday, June 20, 2024

MRA Players & Parents Attacked at Tourney

Some people  just can't handle losing.

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Time to Help Cock of the Walk

 Many of us enjoyed dining at Cock of the Walk at the Ross Barnett Reservoir over the years but unfortunately the establishment fell on hard times recently.  Now, we can all avoid the restaurant when it reopens or gripe online but we should instead do something constructive.  Yup, we need to get together to help out Cock of the Walk and we are going to do it in a fun way.  Here is what we are going to do.

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MCPP: The Truth About Educational Standards

Mississippi’s Department of Education was quick to trumpet signs of an improvement in education standards. According to a gushing press release they put out, Mississippi has risen up the national education rankings from 48th to 30th over the past decade

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Punishing Excellence is the Mississippi Way

Perhaps the Mississippi High School Activities Association should pay attention to how they do things in Texas.   Exhibit 1: Texas high school sophomore Beth Leachman.   KSAT reported: 

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Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Ewwww!

 Cock of the Walk at the Reservoir is temporarily closed after it flunked a Health Department inspection.  

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Judge: Tear It Down

Jackson's biggest eyesore may soon come down.  Jackson Municipal Court Judge Jeffrey Reynolds ordered the city to demolish the Hotel O on I-55N Frontage Road on June 13. 



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Robert St. John: Father's Day 2024

By the time this column is published Father’s Day will be several days in the rearview mirror. That may be the case when it comes to the calendar, but I’m still basking in the afterglow of that fine day.

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Sid Salter: Mississippi Burdened w/Nation's Highest Rate of Gun Deaths, Gun Violence

In the rural South, we are conditioned to a self-image of small communities like fictional Mayberry where crime and violence are almost non-existent and the real dangers from gun violence lurk on the streets and back alleys of Chicago, New York, Detroit, and Los Angeles.

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Tuesday, June 18, 2024

State Fair Line-Up Announced

 Mississippi Department of Agriculture & Commerce Commissioner Andrew Gipson issued the following statement. 

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What Will the Troopers Say Now?

The only constant in life is change, even at the Mississippi Department of Public Safety.  Troopers groused last year when DPS Commissioner Sean Tindall opened up MBI Investigator positions to non-troopers a year ago as the troopers thought those were "their" positions as the entitlement mentality permeates their ranks. Fortunately, the Commissioner hired quite a seasoned crew as he deemed experience was more important than trooper school.  The horror. 

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Oops!

 This little incident supposedly took place around the Battlefield Park area a year ago.  Packin' does not mean protected as this guy found out.  

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The Jambalaya Podcast: Goon Squad Edition

 The Jambalaya with The Kingfish podcast is back from the dead as Jackson attorney Trent Walker discusses the Goon Squad case with yours truly.  Mr. Walker represented Goon Squad victims Eddie Parker and Michael Jenkins and had quite a few things to say about the subject. It is available on Apple, Spotify, Amazon, and Samsung.  Enjoy. 

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Monday, June 17, 2024

Funny of the Day

 Check out how Jerry Seinfeld handled a Hamas heckler in Australia recently.  

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Mayor: Fraud Caught in City's HR Department

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba is holding his regular briefing.  The press conference is live-streamed below.  The Mayor's notice of the press conference said he would make an "important announcement."  

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Timber Consultant Accused of Million Dollar Fraud

Is timber fraud taking place in south Mississippi? Two lawsuits accuse timber consultant Jeff Taylor of bilking the plaintiffs of nearly $1,000,000 in timber-related deals.   

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Guitars & Cadillacs, Anyone?

 Country music star Dwight Yoakam is coming to Brandon this fall.  

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Sunday, June 16, 2024

Funny of the Day

Just a little bit of humor for Father's Day.  

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Thou Standeth Where I'm About to Shoot

"It's one thing to teach a child to light a fire but another thing to teach him not to burn a house down with it.  It's one thing to teach a child ballet but it's vital to teach her to walk straight.  It's one thing to teach a child how to play a piano, it's important that you learn not to steal things with those fingers," preached the late Dr. Frank Pollard as he asked what it means to be a father.  Enjoy his 1998 Father's Day sermon posted below. 

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Bill Crawford: Speaker Eyes Big Things That Move the Needle

Mississippi recently edged further off the bottom on one national ranking, but stayed at the bottom on others.

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Saturday, June 15, 2024

If They Show It, Will You Come?

 Looking for something to do tomorrow for Father's Day?  Field of Dreams is playing tomorrow at Tinseltown at 2 of the clock.  There are plenty of tickets available. 

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Alta Woods Church Burns Down

The old Alta Woods Church on Terry Road caught fire this afternoon.  

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D.L. Gardner: Trump is a Husband & Father Too

Why do people hate Donald J. Trump? Let’s face it: Hatred for Trump is the key issue of many of those who oppose him.

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Collection Agency Sues Mayor

 A collection agency sued Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba in Hinds County Court for $6,557 in April.   

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Friday, June 14, 2024

Callihan Apprehended Near Defunct Pet Store

JPD Chief Joseph Wade delivered some rather shocking news after Daniel Callihan was apprehended yesterday.  Chief Wade said the presence of small animal cages where Callihan was caught showed the presence of a "human trafficking" operation. The revelation was reported by national media such as CNN.  However, there might be a more simple explanation for the cages. 

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MCPP: The Danger of Do-Nothing Conservatives

Before I came to Mississippi, I was a Member of the British Parliament for 12 years for Clacton.  Donald Trump's friend, Nigel Farage, has now decided to run for election in Clacton on July 4th.

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Callihan in Custody

 Daniel Callahan is being held at the Rankin County Detention Center.  

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$2 Million for Grove Park?

 Check out what Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba I said at the June 4 City Council meeting at New Hope Baptist Church. 

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Mom Never Made This Meatloaf

You probably already know I love my mom. Out of great love for her, I never cooked a Braciole for her. However, after thinking about it, I have decided she might like it especially if I included some cornbread, purple hull peas, and creamed sweet corn.


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Thursday, June 13, 2024

Ex-Lotto Employee Hits Justice Jackpot

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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A Car Sinks Through It

 Update: Gone

The owner of the old Northeast Courthouse can't seem to get any help from the city of Jackson.  The problem? A submerged car in the creek next to the property.  

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UMC Opens Ridgeland Teaching Campus

 The University of Mississippi Medical Center issued the following statement. 

The University of Mississippi Medical Center is enhancing its educational infrastructure by establishing a multidisciplinary teaching campus in Ridgeland’s Colony Park.

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Idiot of the Day

While Jordan Cummins stands trial for two counts of murder, his mother, Angie Kellum,  managed to get herself arrested in the courtroom.   

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Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Piss Christian Sentenced

The Justice Department issued the following statement.

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Live from Downtown

 Jordan Cummins faces justice this week as he stands trial for the murder of Josh Spann and Auden Simpkins.  The homicides took place on Jefferson Street while the St. Paddy's Day Parade took place on March 25, 2023.  The trial is live-streamed below courtesy of WLBT. 

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Robert St. John: For the Love of Fish

This month kicked off my 44th year in the restaurant business. The first seven years were spent working for other people. Mostly as a server while I worked my way through college. But for the past 37 years I've owned restaurants. I love my line of work and consider myself overly blessed to have a career in which I am making a living doing what comes naturally and easy to me. My livelihood is what I’d be doing on the side— and as a hobby— if I had another career. Ultimately, I truly love what I do.

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Too Strict? We Report, You Decide

 Is this mom too strict?

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Sid Salter: Sports Betting Limited to Casino Premises

The nation’s commercial gaming industry achieved record-breaking revenue for the third consecutive year in 2023 with 10.3% year-over-year growth – but revenue in Mississippi was down 3.5% or $91.28 million according to the American Game Association’s State of the States 2024 report.

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Tuesday, June 11, 2024

McAlpin Will Fight

The Head Goon is not taking his federal conviction lying down even though he pleaded guilty.  Read below. 

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Noooooooo!!!

 A fire broke out at the Palace of Versailles but it has been brought under control. Tourists were evacuated from the building. 

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Frank Foster Coming to Brandon

 The Blue Collar Boy is coming to the Brandon City Hall in October. 

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No Comment

 Time for some harmless speculation.  Look what popped up on the U.S. District Court docket on June 6 and June 7.  

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Thumbs Up!

 Annie Oeth authored the following press release for UMMC. 

Kobe Abron grasps a Spider-Man figurine with his right hand, holding it firmly between his newly created thumb and fingers as his grandmother cheers – a normal function for most toddlers but elusive for Kobe until recently. 

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Monday, June 10, 2024

Idiot of the Day

 Sometimes these "content creators" have to learn things the hard way.....

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Crisler Case Update

 Marshand Crisler will go to trial in November.  The docket in his case states: 

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Student Imposter Faces Competency Hearing

A 23 year-old Jackson man (allegedly) entered Northwest Rankin High School with the intent to recruit students for sexual videos in January.  

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Hosemann: Major Education Legislation Advanced in 2024 Session

Our students and schools are excelling in Mississippi.

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Progress!

 Check out what is going on at the Top Golf site.  At the current rate of progress, it might be open by Turkey Day.  

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Sunday, June 9, 2024

Food Fight: Golf Edition

 It appears a female golfer was slighted by the good ole boys at a golf tournament up in Cleveland.  Her mother posted on Facebook: 

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Can a Sculpture Create a Sculptor?

The Babylonian king took the best and brightest from Israel, hoping to re-educate them in Babylonian ways. Brainwashed subjects make for good subjects, after all.  However,  Daniel and his brothers never forsook their upbringing, relying on a faith that was well-rewarded.  What does that mean for us today?  Watch the late Dr. Frank Pollard explain it all in the 1996 sermon posted below.   Enjoy. 

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Bill Crawford: My New Pesky, Excitable BFF

My new, seeming BFF is a pesky and excitable fellow. He sends me emails and texts with lots of capital letters and exclamation points nearly every day.

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Friday, June 7, 2024

Friday Night Flicks

 Need something good to watch this weekend? Check out these movies streamed on Youtube for, dare we say it?, Free! There are some real gems below. 

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Jackpot!

 It appears Ivana Williams hit the media jackpot.  

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Piecing the Puzzle

Are the pieces of the puzzle surrounding the recent FBI raids in Jackson starting to fall into place?  Out of state "investors" spoke to several Jackson City Council members about building a Convention Center hotel this year.  WLBT reported last night: 

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Meatloaf, Just Like Mom Made!

I can remember going to the A&P grocery store on Capitol Street, with my mom, shopping for the same ingredients we will use for today's recipe. 


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Thursday, June 6, 2024

Reeves in Trouble Again

The Madison Police Department issued the following statement and mug shot. 

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Victory!

 The Battle of Briarwood 1 is over.   The building is no more, the property is cleaned up, and the enemy is on the run.  

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Who Says Crime Doesn't Pay?

 It appears the Sinyards got off with a slap on the wrist and a foot massage too after bilking the Veterans Administration of millions of dollars.  

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Continued Again.... and Again..... and Again

 The Ballad of Rudy Warnock was continued yet again in U.S. District Court.  U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate postponed Warnock's bribery trial to August 5.   

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Killer Gets Life

 Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, June 5, 2024

Burglary Tourists Hit Restaurant Owners

 The liquor flowed while the steaks were consumed as good times were had by all at a Ridgeland fine dining restaurant on the night of March 1.  Unfortunately, the fun soon turned into horror for the owners as "burglary tourists" hit their Bridgewater home while they were at the restaurant. 

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Robert St. John: Big Apple Birthdays

BROOKLYN— Growing up I had relatives in New York. My maternal grandmother and grandfather lived here for 10 years or so. He worked on Madison Avenue for the entire decade of the sixties. My first visit here was as a three-year-old in 1964 during the World’s Fair. I don’t remember any of it other than a vague recollection of the song from Disney’s “It’s A Small World” which was introduced at the fair instantly becoming the king of ear-worm songs in the history of all ear-worm songs.

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Coming Soon: Sturgill Simpson

See him while you still can.  Country music star Sturgill Simpson is coming to Brandon.  

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Sid Salter: Trump Verdict Hyperbole Masks Statistical Realities of American Voters

The 34 guilty verdicts in the New York state court trial of former President Donald Trump on felony charges of falsifying business records of alleged “hush money” payments to an adult film actress as part of a scheme to influence the 2016 election has opened the floodgates on a river of partisan political hyperbole from both sides of the aisle.

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Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Officer Shooting in Flowood

 The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation issued the following statement.

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Hotel O "Owner" Indicted

 Ibrahim Khoder's problems took a turn for the worse when the Hinds County grand jury indicted him for perjury on April 5.  Khoder is the alleged owner of the notorious Hotel O on I-55 N Frontage Road. 


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No Comment!

 Meanwhile, over at the intersection of Watkins Drive and Mayes Streets, someone apparently got tired of the summer heat (Warning: Partial Nudity)

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MCPP: How to Make School Choice Happen in Mississippi

A school choice revolution is sweeping America. Mississippi is now sandwiched on either side by states that give families control over their child’s share of state education dollars.

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Driver's License to Change

 The Mississippi Department of Public Safety issued the following statement. 

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Monday, June 3, 2024

Murder in Brandon

 Rankin County Sheriff issued the following statement. 

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15 Year-Old Indicted in Mother's Murder

The Rankin County grand jury indicted Carly Gregg for first degree murder, attempted murder, and tampering with evidence on May 22. Gregg stands accused of shooting her mother to death and wounding her stepfather on March 19.  

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Funny of the Day

 Somehow, I don't think she is joking one little bit.  Can't say I blame her.  

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Third Grade Reading Scores Rise Statewide

Newton #1, Humphreys County dead last 

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following statement. 

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Pickle Fest!!!

 The Mississippi Department of Agriculture and Commerce issued the following statement. 

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Sunday, June 2, 2024

"Helpful Hints for Fellow Strugglers"

 Honor thy father and mother.  It's one of the best known commandments and is dragged out every year for the usual Mother's Day and Father's Day sermon.  However, the commandment means more than just giving parents their due.  The late Dr. Frank Pollard (First Baptist - Jackson) explained how it means parents should honor their children as well.  Watch his 1996 sermon posted below as he explains how the Fifth Commandment translates into freedom for all. 

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Bill Crawford: War at Hand, Wicker Sounds Alarm

War is at hand, preferably cold but potentially hot.

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Saturday, June 1, 2024

Court to Robinson Family: You Signed It, You're Stuck With It

 George Robinson's family suffered another loss after they tried to renege on a settlement agreement with the city of Jackson.  The city settled with the family for more than $17,000 in mediation.  However, the family's attorney, Dennis Sweet, said his clients were backing out of the agreement when the City Council made the agreement public.  However, Hinds County Circuit Judge Faye Peterson ruled yesterday the family was stuck with the agreement.  Signed words mean things after all in Hinds County.

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D.L. Gardner: A Believer Prays Daniel's Prayer for America

This week's column was inspired by a letter from a friend who has been praying Daniel's chapter 9 prayer for Israel for many years. She sent it to me with her version of the prayer for America.

Those who trust God find consolations when they are beset with troubles. In 1994, God spoke to me through Psalm 94:19. “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul.”

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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