Thursday, February 29, 2024

Councilwoman Charged with DUI-Other Last Year

Yet another member of the Jackson City Council got into a little bit of trouble.  

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New News: Nancy Dishes More Dirt

  Get out the popcorn as Nancy New dished more dirt on former Governor Phil Bryant.  The Anna Wolfe reported at Mississippi Today yesterday:

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No Comment!

Was AI involved in this typo? 

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EPA Screws JXN Water Contractors

The EPA changes how it is paying JXN Water's contractors and that change is causing problems. WLBT reported: 

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Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Been in Trouble with the Law Since the Day he was Born

Tonarri Moore sure does have a habit of getting in trouble with the law.    Moore pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court yesterday to one count of being a convicted felon in possession of ammunition.  

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Bill Cops the Squat

 Squat trucks may soon be a relic of the past if State Representative Freddie Shanks has his way.  Mr Shanks authored a bill that will ban the controversial fad in Mississippi.  HB #349 states: 

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Justice Dept: Gangs Run Mississippi Prisons

 The Justice Department issued the following statement and report. 

The Justice Department announced today its findings that conditions of confinement at three Mississippi Department of Corrections (MDOC) facilities violate the 8th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

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Robert St. John: Best Job Ever

There are many emotions associated with parenthood. Joy and amusement come to mind immediately. The early responsibilities of parenting can bring worry and guilt. There can be irritation and disappointment as well. The unique thing about being a parent is that sometimes one can feel several of those emotions— contradicting as they may be— at once.

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Sid Salter: Calls to Scrap or Change MAEP Formula Have Consequences

The Mississippi Adequate Education Formula had its genesis almost 30 years ago in politics – the politics of avoiding being forced to equalize public education funding at the tip of the spear of a federal lawsuit.

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Topgolf to Open by "End of the Year"

Topgolf will be here sooner rather than later.  Topgolf President Todd Waldo announced the good news at the ground-breaking ceremony for the Prado Vista project Monday.  

 

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Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Deadline for College Prepaid Tuition Program Nears

The deadline for entering the 2024 College Savings Mississippi Art Contest is fast approaching: 

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Tonarri Moore Pleads Guilty

Tonarri Moore is pleading guilty right now to possession of ammunition by a convicted felon in U.S. District Court.   

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Trash Talk: Jackson Must Pay The Man

Failure usually carries a cost and the Jackson garbage shutdown a year ago is no exception.  The Mississippi Department of Environmental Quality fined the city of Jackson $900,000 for the city's failure to collect garbage for two weeks.  

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Monday, February 26, 2024

Closed!

 The Bonefish has been de-boned. 

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State of the State

Lord Protector Tate Reeves gave his State of the State address this evening.  The video and transcript are posted below. 

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Idiot of the Day: Junior Edition

 The son of Mississippi Congressman Michael Guest got himself into some trouble.  The Nashville Scoop reported: 

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Accomplice in Kingston Frazier Murder Arrested Again

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement. 

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REO Speedwagon in Brandon

80's rockers REO Speedwagon and .38 Special are coming to Brandon.   Red Mountain Entertainment announced: 

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Equal Time: Saying No to Medicaid Expansion

There have been quite a few columns and articles in local media promoting Medicaid expansion in Mississippi.  Russ Latino published a column opposing said expansion over at the Magnolia Tribune website.    Mr. Latino opined: 

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UMC Schools Team Up to Fight HPV

 Rachel Vanderford authored the following press release for UMC. 

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Sunday, February 25, 2024

Swiss Army Knives

They can bring reward and at other times punishment.  Sometimes they are just messengers.  They can rescue.  They protect.  They are the Swiss Army knives of heaven.   What are we talking about? Angels, of course.  The late Dr. Frank Pollard discussed their role in the heavenly scheme of things in the 1995 sermon posted below as he preached from Hebrews 1:3-9 (Scripture posted below).  Although they are indeed powerful, Dr. Pollard said they are to be respected but not worshipped.  See what else he had to say on the matter.  

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Bill Crawford: Mississippi & Utah Least Resemble U.S.

WalletHub analysts have dubbed Utah and Mississippi as the states that least resemble the U.S. as a whole.

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Saturday, February 24, 2024

Saturday Night Cinema

There is nothing like a redneck movie from the 70's.   Exhibit A: Moonrunners.  It was a pilot movie of sorts for the Dukes of Hazzard.  It's got it all: liquor, law-breakin, lovin', and Uncle Jesse smoking dope.  Did I mention a song by Waylon Jennings that can't be found elsewhere?  It is not available on any of the streaming websites but someone posted it online. It's posted below.  Enjoy. 

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Coleman Pleads Guilty in Express Grain Fraud

This post is reprinted with permission of the Taxpayers Channel (Greenwood).  It was first published on February 22. 

Early this morning, the United States Federal District Court of the Northern District of Mississippi filed and accepted a guilty plea agreement by former Express Grain president John Coleman for fraud in the company's collapse and bankruptcy.

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D.L. Gardner: God's Consolations Delight Souls

“When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Thy consolations delight my soul.” Psalm 94:19

In 1994, during my “quiet time” of Bible reading and prayer God gave me this verse of encouragement that has blessed me everyday since. Recently a friend at church asked me whether I had watched one of Jonathan Cahn’s latest videos about the Israeli-Hamas war. I have read several of Cahn’s books, but have never watched any of his videos.

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Friday, February 23, 2024

Henifin Supports Water/Sewer District for Jackson

 JXN Water issued the following statement. 

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Flashback Friday: Stokes Declares War

This post was originally published on February 24, 2021. 

It was a press conference for the ages as Kenneth Stokes called the Jackson Mayor "Lying Lumumba".  However, the Ward 3 Councilman was just getting warmed up as he said the Mayor was incompetent and had "a relationship with dope boys."  Make no mistake, this was Kenneth Stokes completely unvarnished and unleashed.  

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Health Dept Revokes License of Med Marijuana Testing Company

 The Mississippi State Department of Health issued the following statement. 

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Have You Ever Gone Bananas?

I was just a small tyke in 1951; too young to remember when Chef Paul Blange created the dessert known as Bananas Foster. This famous dessert came about as his response to a request by his boss Owen Brennan, of Brennan's Restaurant on Bourbon Street in New Orleans for a dish featuring bananas. Evidently Owen went Bananas with his first taste and a food legend was born.



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Food Fight: Shad v. Lynn

A.G. sues State Auditor

Attorney General Lynn Fitch issued the following statement. 

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Thursday, February 22, 2024

Bill Sorta Bans Satan

 A bill will ban Satan, er, make that Satanic displays from the Mississippi Capitol. 

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Gilmer Medically Released from Jail

Attorney Barry Gilmer is a free man. 

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Greater Jackson Arts Council: Nevermore?

 Does the Greater Jackson Arts Council even exist anymore? 

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Circuit Clerk Pleads Guilty to Fraud

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Idiot of the Day

 Meet Lazavian Gibbs, otherwise known as the um, Foreskin Felon.  The Laurel Leader Call reported: 

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Supreme Court Refuses to Hear Mayfield Appeal

 Mark Mayfield's family struck out at the United States Supreme Court. 

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Nick at Pearl

 The city of Pearl issued the following statement. 

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Robert St. John: Nobody's Poet

This week's recipe: Purple Parrot Pumpkin Cheesecake!

In the late 1990s I was asked by my local newspaper to write a weekly food column. I politely declined citing an overloaded schedule and lack of any known writing skills. They were persistent and kept asking until one day, after the fourth or fifth ask, I gave in and agreed. Once that first column was written and submitted, they may have regretted the ask. The writing was bad. Seriously bad. I don’t have access to those columns I wrote in the early months, but I’ve re-read some that were published in the first year and I cringe every time.

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Bolton Clerk Busted (Allegedly)

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Sid Salter: PERS Casts Long Shadow Over Legislature

Mississippi Lt. Gov. Delbert Hosemann recently identified the long-term financial stability of the Mississippi’s Public Employees Retirement System as “the major issue” facing lawmakers in the 2024 regular session – and rightly so.

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Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Wrapping Up the Mardis Case

 The Mardis cake is baked but there are some loose ends that need to be tied up  before JJ turns away from this story hopefully forever.  

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AWOL!

 The Hinds County Board of Supervisors were supposed to hold its regular meeting this morning.  However, no meeting was held because three supervisors did not show up.  No quorum, no meeting.  

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Do As I Say, Not as I do: Lynn Fitch Edition

 This article first appeared in Mississippi Today and is published under a Creative Commons license.  Geoff Pender authored this story. 

Attorney General Lynn Fitch’s reluctance to investigate or prosecute campaign finance violations last year prompted other state leaders to call for reform and more enforcement.

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Monday, February 19, 2024

MBN Director Steps Down

 Change is a'coming to the M'ssippi Bureau of Narcotics. Command issued to following email to all MBN employees. 

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Banks Will Fight

Jackson City Council President Aaron Banks will fight his DUI charges.  WLBT reported February 15:

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The A$$ of Madison County

District 3 Supervisor Gerald Steen spoke to the Madison County Republican Women last week and, predictably, talked out of both sides of his mouth. 

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What Became of Dr. Smith?

No, we don't mean that Dr. Smith but the Mississippi Museum of Art's new exhibit.   

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Idiot of the Day

 The video says it all. 

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Sunday, February 18, 2024

Can We Have Nice Things?

Was there a ruckus at Urban Air last night? WAPT reported: 

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Let the Polling Begin

Someone is conducting a poll in Mississippi this weekend.  Check out the questions. 

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"How to Save a Capital City"

How to save a capital city is a question vexing many in Mississippi right now.  However, the late Dr. Frank Pollard addressed this very subject waaaaay back in 1996 in the sermon posted below.  Preaching from Acts 19: 1-7 (Scripture posted below as well),  Dr. Pollard replaced Jackson with Ephesus.  The lessons are two thousand years old but still applicable today.  Enjoy. 

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Bill Crawford: Microsoft Copilot Offers Solutions to Mississippi Poverty

 Saw Microsoft Copilot ad during the Super Bowl. Decided to give its GPT-4 AI a try.

“Ask me anything,” it said.

Okay, genius, I thought. Try this. “How can Mississippi get more people out of poverty?”

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Saturday, February 17, 2024

Golden Brawl

Things got slightly out of hand between Southern Miss and Arkansas State in lady's basketball this week.  Props to the DJ for playing "Set It Off." 

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Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

 The Order of the Sisters of Rukia Lumumba are not too happy with Judge Wintage.  The Poor People's Campaign issued the following statement yesterday: 

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D.L. Gardner: Will Election Tampering Take Place?

 In the 2016 campaign for president, Hillary Clinton and her campaign proposed a plan “to vilify Donald Trump by stirring up a scandal claiming interference by the Russian security services” according to Special Counsel John Durham’s report released last May.

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Friday, February 16, 2024

Friday Night Flicks

Looking for something to watch this weekend? Check out these movies presented on Youtube for free. 

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Coleman To Plead Guilty in Express Grain Fraud

 This post is reprinted with permission of The Taxpayers Channel (Greenwood) website. 

John Coleman, former president of the now-bankrupt Express Grain, has a scheduled hearing in federal district court to enter a change of plea in the criminal fraud case in the Express Grain collapse.

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A Meal Fit for Julia

While on a promotional tour for her famed cookbook "Mastering the Art of French Cooking", Julia Child made her first appearance on Public Television, appearing on a book review show called "I've Been Reading". The year was 1961. She arrived for the filming with a hot plate, giant whisk, and eggs. Then she made an omelet on the set. Little did Julia know her appearance would lead to gigs on Sesame Street, the Muppet Show, and even Dave Letterman. Oh, I forgot, she also hosted shows on PBS called Cooking with Julia, The French Chef, and many others. Many of these shows occurred BFN (Before Food Network).


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Catch & Release! Squawk! Catch & Release! Adkins Shooter Edition

The Hinds County Catch & Release program is chugging along just fine, thank you very much.  Exhibit A: Kylin Russell of the Adkins QT shootout fame. 

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Thursday, February 15, 2024

Powe's Perils are Over

The Madison County grand jury "no-billed" former Ole Miss football star Jerrell Powe, Colburn McLelland, Angie McLelland, Cooper Leggett, and Gavin Bates. 

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MCPP: Want More Workers? Reform Welfare

Mississippi Center for Public Policy President Douglas Carswell sponsored and authored this post. 

Not enough people in Mississippi work. Out of every 100 working age adults in our state, 46 are not in the labor force.

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Wanted Alive: Hotel O Owner

Jackson Municipal Court Judge Jeff Reynolds had enough and issued a warrant for the arrest of Hotel O owner Noah Ali Mehmet Muthana.  

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Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Kylin the Wannabe Killer Arrested

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Clinton Police Charge Man W/ Rape & Kidnapping

 The Clinton Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Sex, Lies, & Videotape: Trooper Fired

Ivana Williams is probably not feeling cute after Mississippi Highway Patrol fired the trooper yesterday.  Colonel Haynes terminated Williams' employment after a hearing was held Friday.  Attorney Matt Eichelberger represented Williams at the hearing. 

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Robert St. John: Bad Food

 It took me 60 years to start eating like an adult. I am 62 so I’ve only been eating responsibly for a couple of years.

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Sid Salter: Presley’s New Private-Sector Solar Energy Venture has an Interesting Political Frame

 Brandon Presley’s new post-election employment in the private sector solar energy business has some interesting political framing. The announcement of the 2023 Democratic Party gubernatorial nominee and longtime Northern District Public Service commissioner’s new gig made a splash in green energy circles around the country.

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College Savings Program Gets New Name

 State Treasurer David McRae today announced the state's 529 program has rebranded to become Mississippi College and Career Savings. The name change better reflects the true capacity of the program, which can be used for traditional four-year colleges, as well as vocational programs, apprenticeships, and other career training.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Governor & Mayor Announce Crime Cooperation

Adkins Drive Shooter Arrested

Governor Tate Reeves, Public Safety Commissioner Sean Tindall, and Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba are announcing a major crime initiative right now at a press conference.  The presser is live-streamed below. 

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Life Insurance Policy Locator Finds Millions

 Insurance Commish Mike Chaney issued the following statement. 

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Oops!

 A trooper tried to execute one of them fancy u-turn maneuvers on Highway 80 west over in the Lauderdale County area and well, it did not go so well for all concerned. 

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Monday, February 12, 2024

Mayor Says He is Running for Re-Election

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba said he is running for re-election in 2025 at his regular press conference today.  Some highlights of the press conference are: 

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Honor Society Advisor not so Honorable

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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JSU Locked Down

Jackson State University went into lockdown after a man carrying an AR-15-style firearm was seen walking near campus. 

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Sunday, February 11, 2024

Funny But True

 Who knew this Seinfeld clip would be so prophetic. 

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Witnessing Requires Witnessing Something

What is a salvation experience? What is an attendance ministry? Why should one go to church?  Can one witness without witnessing something? The late Dr. Frank Pollard answered all of these questions and more as he preached from Acts 2 in the 1996 sermon posted below. Enjoy.

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Bill Crawford: Enrollment Cliff Illuminates Lack of State Plan

Where are we going and is that where we want to go?

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Saturday, February 10, 2024

Hot Damn! Welcome to Mississippi!

 Yet another Yankee makes a pilgrimage to the Mississippi Delta and is shocked, shocked mind you, at what he sees.  

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Remember the Evans Brothers?


Chris Evans of Evans Brothers fame will be a free man after the Federal Bureau of Prisons springs him this spring.   The Bureau's website states Evans will be released on April 2, 2024.  Evans and his brother Charles committed what was the largest real estate fraud in Mississippi history until Lamar Adams' Ponzi scheme was discovered. 

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D.L. Gardner: Two Legacies

Recently I began reading my own columns from late 2020 and early 2021 to reminisce. “[T]he LEFT peacefully protested as cities burned, protesters ransacked, looted, and destroyed local and chain stores, and attacked and vilified police while mayors and governors empathized with outraged mobs.” The media glorified BLM and Antifa as righteous revolutionaries.

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Friday, February 9, 2024

Killer Gets Life

 Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Funny of the Day

 Hizzoner took a trip to the grocery story with JPD brass in tow.  Notice anything? 

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Drug Bust in Oakfield

Update: The Madison County Circuit Court set the defendants' bonds at $100,000 per charge. 

Madison County deputies arrested four individuals after busting a drug operation in the Oakfield neighborhood yesterday.  

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Gumbo, Love it or Leave it?

I have heard there are one or two people out there who do not like gumbo. I am so sorry for you. However, this is America. Good men and women have fought our enemies to assure you have the right to make your own decisions about what you eat, regardless of what the abolitionists might say.


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Thursday, February 8, 2024

"We Hit It Off Like a House Afire"

Stephen Colbert remembered his good friend, yes, good friend, Toby Keith last night.  Enjoy.  

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Mayor Welcomes Back Fox

 Clinton Mayor Phil Fisher welcomed back Clinton police officer Anthony Fox at a press conference today.   The presser was vintage Fisher as the former General defended his man while blasting the Hinds County criminal justice system as Fox and his family flanked Mayor Fisher. 

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And She is Gone

The Briarwood 1 building is no more. 

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Some Justice Finally Served in Young Woman's Murder

 Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Borrow, Graduate, Sling Coffee, Rinse, Repeat

Go to university, score 2.5 GPA, pile up the loans, get master's hoping to get a decent job, pile up more loans.  Rinse repeat.  Such is the scam sold to high school students over the last few decades.  Meanwhile, the trades pay better than coffee shops and don't require student loans.  Some comments made in an article about Baton Rouge's construction boom highlights how screwed up the educational climate is: 

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Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Fox Freed

 Former police officer Anthony Fox is a free man.  The Mississippi Court of Appeals reversed his conviction for culpable manslaughter last week.  The Court issued a mandate to set him free today.  

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Dummy of the Day

 Surely there is a song about going the wrong way down the road....

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Woman Accuses NFL Star of Phony Prosecution

A federal lawsuit accuses Fletcher Cox and some Yazoo good ole boys of working together to prosecute Jamiah Alexander on bogus charges because she allegedly had an affair with the football star from Yazoo City.  Cox was an All-American Defensive Tackle at Mississippi State University and has played in the NFL for twelve years. 

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Robert St. John: Ed's

This week's recipe: Black & Blue Burger

Since 1999 I have written every week in this space, a thousand words a week, never missing a week. That’s over 1,300 columns and more than 1,300,000 words in print. I mostly write about food, restaurants, travel, food in the South, and growing up in the South. Over those years I have made great efforts not to write about our restaurants in any kind of specific, self-promoting way.

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MHP Gets New Lt. Colonel

 The Mississippi Department of Public Safety issued the following statement. 

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Sid Salter: Medicaid Remains Widely Misunderstood as Legislators Seek to Help Working Poor

 Discussing Medicaid and the role the program plays or should play in expanding healthcare opportunities for Mississippi’s working poor produces the kind of headache usually reserved for those who eat ice cream and wash it down with hot coffee – or those who watch TV news coverage of the Medicaid expansion issue on Fox News and MSNBC back-to-back.

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Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Help Needed

 A house on 910 Ash Court in Ridgeland burned down Thursday.  Unfortunately, the family lost everything they own.  The matriarch of the family has been a nurse for 18 years and has four children.  They were renting and did not have insurance.  A  Gofundme page has been established to help the family.  Feel free to help.  

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What the Hell?

Warning: Violent video posted below

Posted below is a video of a shooting on Adkins Drive.  When exactly did this happen and why is the video suddenly circulating? 

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Siemens Fiasco Rinsed & Repeated

The Siemens deal literally blew up Jackson's water system ten years ago. Unfortunately, Jackson was not the only city that fell for promises of gold while getting buckets of _____.  Sarah Fowler reported yesterday: 

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It's Happening!

 Construction equipment appeared at the Top Golf site yesterday. 

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Shad Countersues Favre

State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement.

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Monday, February 5, 2024

Daycare Drama in Rankin

Update: A hearing on the TRO request will be held February 7 in Rankin County Chancery Court. 

Hitting kids with rulers, posting pictures of children kissing on social media, and stealing customers are just some of the allegations made in a lawsuit filed against a former owner of a day care center in Brandon. 

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MCPP: State Leaders Should Take Action to Improve Healthcare

Mississippi saw some spectacular inauguration events over the past couple of weeks. Governor Reeves was sworn in for a second term, the House got a new Speaker, Jason White, and our lawmakers came together for the start of the new legislative session.

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Shootout on Bellewood

WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS POSTED BELOW!!!

Update: JPD arrested Jaylon Proctor.  He is currently hospitalized. 

 A shootout took place on Bellwood Drive this morning.

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Mississippi Fisheries Get $2.9 Million in Disaster Relief

Although the opening of the Bonnet Carre Spillway for 123 days in 2019 relieved Mississippi River flooding, it was a disaster for Mississippi fisheries on the Gulf Coast as the massive freshwater intrusion ruined their harvest.  The U.S. Department of Commerce announced on January 24 it will provide $2.9 million in relief to those fisheries: 

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Junior Goons? (Updated)

UPDATE (3:10 PM) Brandon Police Chief Joseph French said all suspects surrendered.  The boys were charged with simple assault while a girl was charged with conspiracy.  The  Rankin County Youth Court will adjudicate the charges. 

A group of young men beat up another young man in Brandon Saturday night.  The uncle of the victim posted this video on social media. 

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Sunday, February 4, 2024

Serial Shoplifter Arrested

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement Friday. 

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Choosing the Right Gate

"Judas is more like the average American professing Christian than the other Apostles."  Stern stuff but the late Dr. Frank Pollard (First Baptist - Jackson) rarely minced words when preaching as he did on New Years Eve in 1995.   If you didn't make it to church today, enjoy the remedial sermon posted below.  It's one of his better ones.  

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Bill Crawford: Trump's Power & Control Ballooning

 Democrats said they will accept some conservative policies on the border immigration crisis to get funding for Ukraine. Republicans ought to be jumping on that offer like ketchup on french fries.

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Saturday, February 3, 2024

Money in the Bank

 Meet the Reverend Bankroll.

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Here We Go Again.....

 The Hinds County Election Commission Follies returns.  The Commission told the Republican and Democratic parties it will not operate the Presidential primaries in March.  WLBT reported: 

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Did Prior Authorization Bill Get Prior Authorization?

 A scrum over prior-authorization is taking place in the Mississippi legislature thanks to one J. Walter Michel. Sarah Ulmer reported: 

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Patting Themselves on the Back

The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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D.L. Gardner: Times of Distress

Jesus is the Messiah or Christ promised to Israel throughout the Old Testament as Israel’s Savior and King Who will save the people and rule the whole world from His throne in Jerusalem.

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Friday, February 2, 2024

"Never Let a Woman in Your Life"

 One of the all-time musicals comes to the big screen next week for two nights. It stars Audrey Hepburn, need we say more?  Check out the showtimes for My Fair Lady at Malco Grandview & Tinseltown below. 

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Reverend Bankroll Pleads Guilty

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Times and Good Stuff?

Do you remember Westland Plaza? The shopping center on Ellis Avenue first opened in 1958. I can remember going the second or third night after dad got home from work to have a look at what Farmer Jim told us would be the biggest shopping center we would ever see. For those days, the Jitney Jungle was huge, certainly the flagship of their chain. 



There were lots of firsts for Jackson at Westland Plaza. 

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Video Shows Lawyer's Beating of Guard

Madison County Detention Center security cameras recorded Barry Gilmer's (alleged) beating of a female detention officer last Friday.  Madison County Sheriff Randy Tucker would not release the video as the case is still under investigation but allowed this correspondent to watch the 20-second video and take notes. The video shows most of the attack, blow by blow, as the honorable esquire (allegedly) beat the female guard, breaking several of her bones. 

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Thursday, February 1, 2024

Governor Releases Budget Recommendation

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Coke Dealer Convicted

Madison-Rankin District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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The King Cake Reigns

It's Mardi Gras season and you know what that means.  Randazzo's King Cakes are back at Nandy's Candy.Want the real thing? Swing by and get one.    Available flavors are cream cheese, traditional, and a limited amount of blueberry, strawberry, and Bavarian cream.  You can call 601-362-9553 to reserve one as well. Enjoy.  



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Satan Strikes Back at Michael Cassidy

Former Mississippi Congressional candidate Michael Cassidy faces a felony hate crime charge after he destroyed a Satanic statue in the Iowa state capitol. The Polk County (Iowa) Attorney's Office issued the following statement: 

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Carlos Moore Moves On

 Grenada attorney Carlos Moore saved the Mississippi Commission on Juidicial Performance the trouble of kicking him off the bench.  The Clarksdale Press Register reported: 

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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