Friday, November 26, 2021

Ted Rall: Inflation Has Been Killing You For 40 Years. Why Are You Noticing Now

Far be it from me to carry water for the Biden administration or to downplay the impact of inflation on working families as White House officials did in June when they dismissed rising prices as merely "transitory." When 87% of Americans say they are very or extremely worried about higher prices, and one out of 10 people say they can't afford to buy holiday gifts this year, it's a serious issue.

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Homicide in Ridgeland (Updated)

 The Ridgeland Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Funny of the Day

 Had enough of Black Friday? Russell Brand shares your frustrations and has a few things to say.  Enjoy.

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Gov Appoints Two to Board of Health

 The Mississippi State Department of Health issue the following statement.

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Thursday, November 25, 2021

Throwback Thursday

I want to Kill! Kill! KILL!!!

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Happy Thanksgiving

Some so – called social justice warriors threw a hissy fit over the Wall Street Journal's annual Thanksgiving messages on its editorial page. The Journal said go break a wishbone and refused to back down. In solidarity with the newspaper, they are posted below. Enjoy.

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Express Grain Prez Threatened

 The President of Express Grain Terminals said he has received several threats because of his company's failure. The Greenwood Commonwealth reported Friday:

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Robert St. John: 1.65 Million & 1

 Orlando- I have had a long history with this city. In the summer of 1972, when I was 10 years old, my uncle took my cousin and me to the newly opened Disney World. I don’t remember too much. But I do remember buying a fake plaster arm cast and a sling at the magic shop on Main Street and waited a week until I got home to trick my mom into thinking I had a broken arm.

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Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Strip Club Owner Murdered on McDowell

 Jacktown Bud was shot to death at the Southside Barber & Beauty shop on McDowell Road.  

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Pearl Police Rescue Kidnapped Child

 The city of Pearl issued the following statement.

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Sid Salter: Bill Spell was at the center of Mississippi’s most sordid, bizarre political campaign

 William E. “Bill” Spell, who died Oct. 12 at age 96, was the last major figure in what most Mississippians recall as the most sordid and bizarre political campaign in the state’s history back in 1983.

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And Into the Fire: Judge Wants to Take Over Jail

 It is time to put up or shut up in Raymond. US District Judge Carlton Reeves issued a show cause order against the Hinds County Sheriff yesterday. Judge Reeves gave Hinds County 21 days to explain why he should not place the jail into receivership. The Court decreed:

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Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Sheriff Tyree Jones

 Tyree Jones administered an old-fashioned butt-whupping to Marshand Crisler at the ballot box tonight in the race for Hinds County Sheriff.

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Pine Straw Bandits Caught*

 Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.

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Get Out and Vote Today

There is an election today in Hinds County to replace the late Sheriff Lee Vance. Who will it be? The veteran lawman Tyree Jones or the political puppet Marshand Crisler? Or to put it another way, Lee Vance's right hand versus Credell's footstool. However the footstool may win since the same people that brought you defunded police and 130 murders a year our support in him.  Consider this post to be an open thread for the election. 

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Implosion

 Remember Tiffany? She might want to be alone after this recent performance. 

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Get a Mississippi Christmas Tree

 Ag Commish Andy Gipson issued the following statement. 

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Funny of the Day

 How incompetent is the city of Jackson? WLBT reported: 

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Monday, November 22, 2021

Tyree Jones for Sheriff

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Express Grain Collapse Over $100 Million

The implosion of Express Grain is a several hundred – million dollar wave crashing into the Delta economy. Bankruptcy court documents filed by the company reveal its true condition. The bankruptcy threatens hundreds of Delta farmers, banks, and even the Greenwood public utility with severe financial losses.

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Shad Busts Supervisor

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement.

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Ben Shapiro: The Narrative Is the Priority

 According to the media, Kyle Rittenhouse was a white supremacist. According to the media, Kyle Rittenhouse was an active shooter. According to the media, Kyle Rittenhouse was a murderer.

    In reality, he was none of these. 

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General Fitch Joins Facebook Investigation

 Attorney General Lynn Fitch issued the following statement.

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Tradition Meets Reality

 SEC Shorts didn't have much material to work with this week but it came through in the end.  Enjoy.  

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Capitol Street Catfight

There was a fracas at The Daquiri Bar on Capitol Street at 8 PM last night. A fight involving several women took place in front of the bar.  a deputy was shoved and law enforcement descended upon the place as shown in the video below.

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Sunday, November 21, 2021

Fired!

 Florida Athletic Director Scott Stricklin had to get rid of his boy today. It should have come as no surprise as the Florida Gators quit on Dan Mullen more than once this year. Watch the spectacle for yourself.

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For Sale

 The Clarion – Ledger is selling an asset on Commerce Street.

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How to be a Gideon

 The late Dr. Frank Pollard took up the story of Gideon in this 1993 sermon as he opened the sermon in a rather humorous fashion as he so often did.   If you couldn't make it to church, enjoy the make-up preaching.  

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Bill Crawford: Whatever its origin, celebrate Thanksgiving

 Shall we debate the history and purpose of Thanksgiving, or humbly celebrate this national day for giving thanks?

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Saturday, November 20, 2021

Flashback

 Check out the live music scene twenty years ago.

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Bless the New Recruits

 Wow! JPD added all of five officers to the force. WLBT reported:

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D.L. Gardner: Charging Racism to Unify America?

Media coverage and comments from elites have been exceptionally biased against Kyle Rittenhouse from the beginning, and continued well into his trial until the evidence shed new light on what happened. Even then the hardcore woke/LEFT crowd continued to blast Rittenhouse much like they had blasted Nick Sandman, the white teenaged boy who wore a MAGA cap on a high school field trip to the 2019 March for Life.

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Commish: BBB Includes Miss. Medicaid Expansion

 Insurance Commish Miguel Chaney issued the following statement. 

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Friday, November 19, 2021

The Cool Kids Club

 Boys will be boys.....

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Lifted

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Lawyered Up?

One interesting little fact popped out in the Express Grain bankruptcy.

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Mo' Money! Mo' Money! Mo' Money!

 Get ready to spend more money if you live in Jackson.  WLBT reported: 

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Thursday, November 18, 2021

Ted Rall: The Democratic Centrist-Progressive Alliance Hinges Upon Build Back Better

 "At a certain point, we have to trust one another," Rep. Peter Welch, D-Vermont, said Nov. 5 as he left a meeting of the Congressional Progressive Caucus. Progressives had just acquiesced to President Joe Biden's pleas that left-leaning House members sign off on the $1 trillion infrastructure spending bill they'd been holding up in order to pressure the chamber's centrists to support their own $1.75 trillion package of social programs.

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Feds Give Jackson $500,000 to Hire Police

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Gipson: Pecan Theft is a Real Problem

Andy Gipson is the Mississippi Commissioner of Agriculture and Commerce.

As the holidays quickly approach many of us will be eating dishes with pecans. From sweet potato casseroles to a good ole pecan pie, many holiday meals would not be the same without pecans; all thanks to our pecan growers.  Now, it’s no secret among my family that my favorite pie at Thanksgiving is Mississippi pecan pie with a cup of hot coffee.

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Today on the Podcast

Joey Tannehill appears on The Jambalaya with the Kingfish this week. Joey is a local bartender, bass player, and street philosopher. We discuss the music business, horror stories from the bar, how the pandemic decimated entertainment, and his time in the Vice Lords as a kid.

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Bigger Pie Forum: PERS Board Makes Major Change

The board of trustees for the state’s Public Employees’ Retirement System (PERS) made an important, if unheralded, move recently when it voted unanimously to use a somewhat more realistic projection of its rate of return on investments.

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Mailwoman Pleads Guilty to Stealing Mail

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, November 17, 2021

When Crisler Bragged about Being Shot

Although he has been rather quiet about it during the campaign for Sheriff, Marshand Crisler bragged about being shot as a deputy when he ran for mayor in 2009. The showboating backfired when the media dug deep and discovered he was shot because he busted down the door on a no–knock raid on the wrong home and was shot by a surprised resident. His vindictive partners went to prison for planting drugs on the poor schmuck.  It was almost like the Botham Jean case in reverse.


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Water Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement.

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Dooming the Delta

 The EPA killed the Yazoo pumps project. The agency announced on its website today:

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Robert St. John: On the Road Again

 Sometime in the next few weeks I’ll be opening a new restaurant, bar, and tiki bar in the Fondren neighborhood of Jackson, Mississippi. Those are all very familiar concepts to me. I have worked in the restaurant business for 40+ years, and over 33 years have been as an owner. 

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Sid Salter: Ray Mosby: God will enjoy listening to and arguing with authentic Delta journalist

  Harold Ray Mosby Jr.’s legendary editorial voice was at once powerful, poignant, prophetic and provocative. To the end of his days, which came last week in a Jackson hospital at the age 70, that reliable and important voice never failed him.

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Jackson Water System Improves

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement last night.  

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Tuesday, November 16, 2021

Get It at Home!

 

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Deer Camp Burglars Convicted

 Madison –Rankin District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement.

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The REST of the Story: Wisconsin Edition

 Many are going to be shocked if Kyle Rittenhouse is acquitted of murder charges in Wisconsin thanks to the media pushing its own narrative instead of just reporting the facts. Those who actually watch the trial are surprisingly seeing a different story than what is "reported" in the media. Several commentators on the liberal side have even changed their minds.  Highly – respected George Washington University law professor Jonathan Turley provided a penetrating yet concise explanation of what has been taking place in the courtroom.  In a nutshell, the prosecution's case fell apart last week but one would not know it if watching just CNN. Legal insurrection.com has been providing thorough  daily coverage of the trial - no surprise as the website is run by a Cornell law professor. Back to Dr. Turley.

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Shad Refers DHS Demands to AG

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement.

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Retired Professor Carjacked in Belhaven

 Will mayor's employees attack a carjacking victim again?

A retired Belhaven University professor was carjacked last weekend in Belhaven. The victim posted on Facebook:

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Monday, November 15, 2021

Here We Go Again: Water Problems

Update (8:00 AM, 11/121)UPDATE: The City’s pressure improved overnight to 75 psi, and the storage tanks started to fill.  A majority of residents will see their pressure improved this morning, but residents in west and south Jackson will continue to struggle as the systems recovers.

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Surprise! Kindergarteners Scores Fall

 The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following statement.

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Freedom Day Comes to Fairgrounds

 Mississippi Commissioner of Agriculture & Commerce Andy Gipson issued the following statement.

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Crime Stats? What Crime Stats?

 Lying Lumumba is at it again.   After promising in January 2019 to provide monthly crime statistics to the public, the city of Jackson has not published them since June 2020. JJ did what it used to do when his father pulled the same crap: filed a public records request for all monthly UCR reports since June 2020. Surprise,  surprise, the request yielded this response:

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Counting the Losses

 Few things cure the Monday Morning Blues as the folks at SEC Shorts and this week is no exception.  This is one of their better sketches.  Enjoy.

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Sunday, November 14, 2021

The Scrum for Sheriff

 It's time to focus on the Hinds County Sheriff's race. Posted below is the debate held last Thursday night at Jackson State University. It is a good opportunity to become familiar with the two candidates who want your vote.

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EPA Administrator Visits Jackson Tomorrow

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Sore Losers

 The Southern Jaguars got mad after it lost to JSU last night and showed it after the game.  Hmmm..... perhaps the players should have shown some of this fight during the game. 

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First Must be Last

 The late Dr. Frank Pollard asked "What does it mean to be great?" as he began with the story of the disciples debating who was greatest among them in the 1993 sermon posted below.  Enjoy the sermon presented by one of the best preachers to ever grace Jackson. 

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Bill Crawford: Does government have bandwidth to spend federal billions properly?

Should you trust government to properly spend the billions of dollars in federal relief money flooding into the state?  

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Saturday, November 13, 2021

Ship This!

 While the supply – chain crisis gives the politicians and pundits yet another excuse to carry on their never-ending wars, the rest of us suffer. If you want to get a few observations from the field – in other words, reality – check out this essay posted on Medium by a veteran trucker. In other words read something by someone who knows what he's talking about instead of by people paid to bloviate. Ryan Johnson wrote:

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Do Not Resist!

 Armed robberies have skyrocketed 75% in Hollywood. However, never fear because the LAPD issued a new set of guidelines for would – be crime victims.

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D.L. Gardner: From Whom All Blessings Flow

After months and months of negotiations, Speaker Pelosi decided to bring the infrastructure bill to a vote last Friday night. The Senate had passed the bill last August with 69 to 30 votes. Why the long wait in the House? Pelosi wanted more and refused to allow the vote until the House passed a separate multi-trillion dollar bill filled with spending on social projects among other things. Coincidently, elections last week went terribly badly for Democrats in state races indicating voters are fed up with politics in Washington. 

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Jail Strike?

 Sauces say Raymond Detention Center employees walked out on the job today, leaving just a few sergeants to run the jail.  They sent a demand letter to the Sheriff yesterday.  The administration sent a representative to meet with them but it apparently did not work out.  Stay tuned . 

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Friday, November 12, 2021

Lawsuit: Express Grain Shucked Bank out of $71 Million

  A  lawsuit accused Greenwood-based Express Grain Terminals  of defrauding a Kansas City bank out of $75 million through phony reports and receipts.  The company is currently in bankruptcy. The implosion of the grain elevator operation threatens hundreds of Delta farmers, banks, and even a public utility with severe financial losses.

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Ben Shapiro: The So-Called Meritocracy Isn't The Problem

 In 1958, British sociologist Michael Young coined the term "meritocracy" in his satirical novel, called "The Rise of the Meritocracy." Its point was simple: When intelligence and effort are selected by any society as the basis for success or failure, those with such merit begin to comprise their own class. That class hardens into an elite that brooks no dissent and stratifies society. As Young would say in 2001, "It is good sense to appoint individual people to jobs on their merit. It is the opposite when those who are judged to have merit of a particular kind harden into a new social class without room in it for others."

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Archie Holds Presser

 Hinds County District 2 Supervisor David L. Archie is holding a press conference right now. Tune in here below.

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Don't Forget to Donate

 Give! Give! Give! And when you can't give, give some more!!!

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UMC Offers Covid Vaccines for Children

 UMC issued the following statement.

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Taxes Go Unpaid on Metrocenter

 The Metrocenter Mall move one step closer to state ownership after Emily Sanders failed to pay the property taxes this year.

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Thursday, November 11, 2021

Remembering the Vets

 One of my favorite reads. I first came across this essay in college and it  stayed in my mind. Written by a Vietnam Veteran, it is not your typical memorial. He writes with acid as he has a few things to say.  Heaven knows he earned the right to say them.

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Victory!!!

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Dan Berger: Merlot

 I like many red wines that use merlot as their sole or dominant grape, especially when the merlot is grown in a cooler climate and has some of its natural varietal aroma characteristics.

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Were Delta Farmers Shucked & Jived?

 Is a financial Armageddon hitting the Mississippi Delta farming community? The failure of a major grain elevator left a multitude of farmers without their cash or their crops. They accused a bank of keeping the insolvent float just long enough to steal their harvest without paying for it in a lawsuit filed in federal court Monday.

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DUI Parolees Can Drive with Interlock Tool

 The Mississippi Department of Corrections issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, November 10, 2021

State Auditor Makes Arrests

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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David Lane Pleads Guilty

 The Justice Department issued the following statement.  

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Ole Miss Suspends Pikes

 Ole Miss suspended the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity today. The suspension ends on May 1, 2025. The University issued the following statement:

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Robert St. John: Legends and Icons

 The chances of being in the presence of genuine, iconic, living, breathing, legends are few and far between, if ever at all. I don’t have many regrets in life, but I had several chances in my late teens to see blues master, Muddy Waters. The same goes for Willie Dixon. I passed at the time because I assumed there would be other likelihoods. I once gave a friend my Stevie Ray Vaughan concert tickets because I wrongly supposed that there would be plenty of other opportunities to see that guitar giant in upcoming decades. He died in a helicopter crash several months later.

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Dear Kenny Wayne,

The Grand Potentate of Hinds County continues to potentate.  . WLBT reported on October 29:

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Sid Salter: Soaring gas prices illustrate why GOP expect gains in the 2022 midterm elections

 Over the last 30 years, the highest U.S. gas prices were recorded at $4.114 per gallon by the U.S. Energy Information Administration (EIA) in 2008 as the nation struggled in the Great Recession. Thankfully, we’re not back to that level – yet.

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Tuesday, November 9, 2021

No Bond for Beth Ann White

Hinds County Court Judge Johnny McDaniel denied bond for Beth Ann White.  She is charged with two counts of Aggravated DUI – Death.  

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Ted Rall: Democratic Moderates Aren't the Answer to Right-Wing Republicanism; They're the Cause

 Another election, another shellacking. Democrats are returning to the political reality that predated the quantum singularity of Biden's anti-Trump coalition: adrift, ideologically divided and, as always, arguing over whether to chase swing voters or work hard to energize their progressive left base.

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Mayor to Hold Garbage Contract Town Hall

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement. 

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Catch & Release! Squawk! Catch & Release!

 Readers the case of Dominique Matthews.  This particular hoodlum like to show off his gun skills on social media as seen below. Unfortunately, he received some rather favorable treatment from the Hinds County criminal justice system.

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Byram Wants Water Freedom

 Byram is declaring its independence from Jackson – at least on water. WAPT reported:

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Monday, November 8, 2021

Scumbag of the Day

 Check out what Mr. Respect Our Black Dollars said on Facebook:

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Arrested

 The Mississippi Highway Patrol arrested Beth Ann White this afternoon. Interim Hinds County Sheriff Marshand Crisler announced on Facebook:

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Kenny Wayne Gets Stupid

 Kenny Wayne Jones apparently thinks he is the Grand Potentate of Hinds County. A public meeting of the Election Commission was held in the Chancery Court building but the County Administrator closed it to the public. W LVT reported:

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In The Hot Seat

 The folks at Mississippi State are going to appreciate the latest sketch from SEC Shorts.

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Pit Attacks, Jackson Does Nothing

 Incompetence and negligence continue to reign at the dog pound. The Friends of the Jackson Animal Shelter posted  this message on October 30 on Facebook:

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Sunday, November 7, 2021

Food Fight!!!

 Just a video of some bums going at it by St. Dominic Hospital,  One panhandler told the videographer he made  $80 per hour.  Who would've thunk it. 

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Get the Shot!

 

 

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Sunday Morning Sermon

If you can't make it to church, enjoy this vintage sermon presented by the late Dr. Frank Pollard at First Baptist Church (Jackson).  

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Bill Crawford: No new referendum process without citizen fervor

 In the late 80s and early 90s I made the civic club rounds delivering a dramatic speech designed to activate citizen involvement in government affairs. With my math background, I couched the speech as a proposition with 10 corollaries. 

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Saturday, November 6, 2021

Coming November 19

 Who you gonna call?

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Vaccines Available for Children Monday

 The Mississippi State Department of Health issued the following statement. 

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D.L. Gardner: Think about that!

According to Yale University website, “Dr. Harvey Risch is Professor of Epidemiology in the Department of Epidemiology and Public Health at the Yale School of Public Health and Yale School of Medicine.” Also, “Dr. Risch is an author of more than 350 original peer-reviewed research publications in the medical literature and those research papers have been cited by other scientific publications more than 44,000 times. Dr. Risch has an h-index of 94 and is a Member of the Connecticut Academy of Sciences and Engineering.”

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Friday, November 5, 2021

Pair Arrested for Tampering w/ Evidence in Highland Colony Shooting Case

 The Ridgeland Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Ben Shapiro: The Red Wave and the Democratic Suicide Strategy

 This week, reality struck back against Democratic electoral utopianism. Since 2012, Democrats have been convinced that a new, durable, near-unbeatable political coalition was in the making: a coalition largely comprised of college-educated white voters, women, younger Americans and racial minorities. This coalition would overtake the demographically shrinking "old, white majority" and win victory after victory. As Ruy Teixeira and John Halpin wrote for the Center for American Progress in the aftermath of Obama's reelection, "Obama's strong progressive majority -- built on a multi-racial, multi-ethnic, cross-class coalition in support of an activist ... is real and growing and it reflects the face and beliefs of the United States in the early part of the 21st Century." CAP called this new strategy "the culmination of a decades-long project to build an electorally viable and ideologically coherent progressive coalition in national politics."

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Not Necessarily the News

 Check out what the Clarion – Ledger considers to be news this week. If only there were local stories to cover such as carjacking kids during trick-or-treat, DUI mayhem and murder (allegedly), shootouts on Highland Colony, or multiple women murdered due to random gunfire.

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Mississippi Challenges Vaccine Mandate

 Attorney General Lynn Fitch and Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statements. 

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Seals Won't Endorse

 Hinds County Constable Leon Seals announced in Facebook:

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Thursday, November 4, 2021

Shooting on Highland Colony Parkway

 A shooting took place on Highland Colony Parkway between Walk – On's and the Natchez Trace Parkway.

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Deputy Rankin County Tax Collector Arrested

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Child Molester Gets 25 Years

 Madison-Rankin District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Throwback Thursday

 Once upon a time, the Concorde actually flew to Jackson.

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Marcus Dupree Stands up to Shad

Marcus Dupree said he will not repay $789,534 demanded by State Auditor Shad White.  A Nancy New – operated nonprofit provided the funds to the Marcus Dupree Foundation. She is under indictment for allegedly defrauding DHS for several million dollars in TAN F funds.

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Bankplus Loan Officer Pleads Guilty to Embezzlement

 The Justice Department issued the following statement.

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Wednesday, November 3, 2021

DUI Homicide Suspect Repeatedly Got Off

 No words can describe the horror that took place on Highway 18 yesterday as an "alleged" drunk driver killed a mother and her baby while leaving her two other children fighting for their lives in the hospital. The suspect is Beth Ann White. Court records are littered with a string of DUI arrests for White but show no convictions.

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Idiot of the Day

 The Justice Department issued the following statement.  

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More Savagery

 A suspect confessed to kidnapping a Lyft driver, shooting her seven times, and leaving her for dead yesterday. 

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Robert St. John: :30 Minutes in the Grocery Store And A Lifetime of Poor Food Choices

Last week I was walking around a New Orleans grocery store with my daughter helping her re-stock her apartment, which had been virtually empty since Hurricane Ida swept through town almost two months ago. Everything in her refrigerator had been thrown out a few days after the storm, and she had been working out of town for weeks, so she was starting from scratch.

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Sid Salter: Luckett was a true Renaissance man who had a strong desire to serve Mississippi

William O. “Bill” Luckett Jr. was a man with an extensive and surprising list of gifts and talents. When I learned of his passing last week at the age of 73 after battling cancer and other challenges, I recalled a day spent with him in his beloved Clarksdale when he was gearing up to run for the Democratic nomination for governor of Mississippi in 2011.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2021

Election Thread: Jones & Crisler in Runoff

 We finally have a showdown in the race for Hinds County Sheriff tonight. Comment below.

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Ted Rall: Graying, Gen X and Generational Leapfrog

 Youth culture lives. But some women are aging against the machine.

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Not Necessarily the News

 Hmmmm..... What might be missing today's print edition of Clarion – Ledger? Clue: it's a hot story carried by all three TV stations.

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Too Funny, Too True

 What do Lane Kiffin and Animal House have in common?

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Spooner for Sheriff

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Dummy!

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Monday, November 1, 2021

Leon Seals for Sheriff

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Note from management

 Postings and approving comments will be delayed for awhile. Some idiot took out a power pole on Old Canton Road with his hummer so there is no power to get internet. Also, Louis XIV moved on to bigger and better things this morning. He was the best. 

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Savages!!!

 It's no longer safe to trick or treat in Jackson anymore. Matt Allen reported the robbery of him and his family on on St. Anne Street on social media:

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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