Saturday, March 27, 2010

Karen Irby pleads guilty, Truth begins to come out about Mac & JPD

It was a somber day in Judge Tomie Green's courtroom yesterday as Karen Irby pleaded guilty to two counts of Culpable Negligent Manslaughter in the deaths of Dr.'s Daniel Mark Pogue and Lisa Dedousis. Judge Green explained her plea to her and made sure she understood the choice she was making. She answered Judge Green in a cracking voice, obviously overwhelmed. She admitted to drinking "two glasses of wine" and driving too fast. Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith told Judge Green he had no sentencing recommendation, thus leaving Karen Irby to the court's mercy.

Mrs. Irby went through her hell alone as her husband, Stuart M. Irby, stayed away from the courtroom. While justice was served, there was no victory here, no reason to celebrate, just a numbing sense of tragedy about something that should never have happened. Two doctors who should be enjoying their marriage vows and helping others, a mother at home with two kids, a family legacy once well respected in Jackson, all destroyed. In the end, Judge Green accepted the plea and ordered her to appear on May 11, 2010 for sentencing. Judge Green allowed her to remain confined under house arrest. The law allows Judge Green to sentence Mrs. Irby up to twenty years per count in this case.

Mr. Smith admitted afterwards the state's case changed when several facts were discovered, facts that formed the foundation of the prosecution's case. He stated Mrs. Irby's speed was 70 mph, not the 114 mph figure quoted earlier and claimed there were several errors in the investigation. The untold story of this case is how the prosecution saved a case set to blow up when it got to court.

Sheriff Malcolm McMillin was Chief of JPD at the time of the accident. The Irby family was one of the Sheriff's largest campaign donors over the years. When the wreck took place, JPD did not start taking measurements for the reconstruction until five days later. The officer chosen for the task was Chris Barnhardt. There is little doubt Barnhardt was chosen for the task as he states in his report, "Jackson Police Communications contacted me at my residence, in reference to this collision, February 11, 2009, 2236 hours, at which time my assistance was requested in reconstructing the collision. I went to the scene and began my investigation."

Sources have informed JJ this was Barnhardt's first accident reconstruction. This correspondent has also learned Barnhardt was not state certified for accident reconstruction, as he flunked part of the qualifying test, although he did possess another certification. (It is supposedly given in three parts. He did not pass one of them.) Barnhardt reported Mrs. Irby's speed at 114 mph. The speed was the basis for the Depraved Heart Murder indictment, as driving 114 mph in that area would probably meet the criteria for the charge. This is the same JPD officer who recently got in trouble for unprofessional behavior while on duty during the recent visit by Michelle Obama. (He was reassigned to the dog pound.)

The D.A.'s office discovered the speed Barnhardt reported was wrong. It caught a break in that the officer who recorded the measurement data in Barnhardt's report was Michael Huff, an expert in accident reconstruction and Hinds County Deputy Sheriff. Mr. Huff calculated the speed to be 70 mph, 10 mph under what would be double the speed limit (40 mph) but a far cry from the previously reported speed of 114 mph. The reduction in speed caused the prosecution to reindict Mrs. Irby under the charge of Aggravated DUI as it didn't think a speed of 70 mph in a 40 mph zone would meet a prima facia case of Depraved Heart Murder. (This was the new indictment Judge Green referred to in the hearing.)

Mr. Huff's work enabled the District Attorney to save his case, as there is no doubt Joe Holloman would have blown Barnhardt's report and much of the prosecution's case to bits. Mr. Holloman had subpoenaed the measurement data and stated he was obtaining the services of an accident reconstruction expert. Such an expert would have completely discredited the District Attorney's allegation that Mrs. Irby was driving 114 mph and gone a long way in earning an acquittal for the defense. Sources have also informed JJ that a tire showing "yaw" marks was at the scene but was not included in the evidence. However, the "errors" did not end with tires and accident 'rithmetic.

The blood samples for Mrs. Irby were placed in vials with labels showing them to be expired. There is no doubt Holloman would have taken advantage of this and probably gotten the BAC results showing .09 thrown out by Judge Green as well. The prosecution discovered several weeks ago there was an earlier blood test taken at the hospital and subpoenaed the results. The earlier test showed a higher BAC. One can only wonder why the expired vials were used as they would have severely compromised the prosecution's case if used in court.

It is frankly hard to believe these "errors" were mistakes. McMillin's department used the least-qualified officer for accident reconstruction it could find, waited several days to conduct the accident reconstruction, used the wrong marks to calculate the speed of Mrs. Irby's car, placed the blood samples for the BAC test in vials with expired labels, and waited three hours to draw said samples for the test. If Mac was trying to throw the case for one of his best campaign donors and long-time friends, there are few other steps JPD could have taken in the investigation that would have betrayed the prosecution's case when it went to court. WLBT tried to reach McMillin yesterday for comment but was told he was out of town.

In the end, however, it was Karen Irby who stood before a packed courtroom, Judge Green and God as she admitted to ending the two lives of two wondeful people while her husband and McMillin were nowhere to be found. While Mrs. Irby answered for her actions yesterday, one can only wonder if others will answer for their actions as well.

Note: Lets not forget this little gem about campaign donations. Wonder if Bert will ask the Sheriff some more softball questions. "Do you think their contributions have affected your judgement?" Gee Bert, what did you think he was going to say? YES?

AND who can forget this WAPT classic?

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow... so why did Holloman let/advise her to plead guilty? Sounds like he would have been able to do well in court.

Kingfish said...

DA caught the speed error and found the other test. DA had to present it in court first for Holloman to attack it.

Anonymous said...

Or maybe the jury would take one look at the accident photos and figure she should be guilty of something.

Anonymous said...

excellent reporting.,,, 1000 X better than Clarion Ledger.

Ironghost said...

That's a big "if" there. Personally, I'd like solid evidence Mac was doing all he could to throw the investigation. What we have is really circumstantial. It's definitely enough to call into question his judgment next time elections roll around if he runs again. My money is on him not running.

Anonymous said...

Who was the woman operating the radio at HQ when the call came in about speeding Mercedes down Old Canton Road on the night this all happened? I'd be interested in her opine.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish,

I find it interesting that you feel that the DA's office "caught" the mistake in the accident reconstruction. Don't you think the timing of the "caught" error is at least questionable? When was the discovery deadline? Looks to me like they realized Team Irby had outworked them and started playing a big game of cover their own back sides.

Keep digging KF! You've done a great job following this one and keeping us informed.

Anonymous said...

Jackson PD is a complete embarrassment. I worked for a much smaller department that was much more professional on a school crossing that has been revealed in this reconstruction.

I have been through the state's reconstruction school. It is a politically motivated animal to say the least. No one should be doing reconstruction that has not been to IPTM or Northwestern.

Thank God for those evil defense attorneys. If the state is allowed to prevail by breaking the law and being so negligent, how can anyone be expected to follow the law?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and check the state-certified thing about accident reconstructionists. There is essentially no such animal. There is a national certification known as ACTAR, which blows out of the water anything Mississippi, or more accurately MHP, can certify.
But with all its pretty total stations, reflectors and paint, it is far from an exact science. Yet people are going to prison from its "experts" opinions.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget, Mac REFUSED to release Karen's BAC results.

Even when Mac was struck by a drunk driver several weeks before the Irby accident, the BAC results of the impaired driver were released to the media.

Kingfish said...

The point is, he still flunked it.

Anonymous said...

Great work again KF. Fill me in on what happened w/ Barnhardt during Michelle Obama's visit!

Anonymous said...

At best, we know that Mac is incompetent so PEOPLE ...GET HIM OUT OF OFFICE.

Kingfish said...

At some point its not a comedy of errors but instead is intentional.

Anonymous said...

As a behind the scenes former political marketing strategist, I'm have a 100% success rate.
I quit because I actually care about my soul.
BUT, if anyone who is the least bit qualified wants to run against the Sheriff, just POST this..."need free expertise and give me a number to call". I'll meet with you and , for FREE, give you my best campaign strategy to defeat this jerk.
You must file first. I don't want to give the ass any edge...NONE. I will design your entire campaign,but I urge any potential candidates to start now.
We need to get name recognition going.

Anonymous said...

The unthinkable just happened. At least now the folks at CCJ will not be exposed.

Kaptain Kangaroo said...

I'm saying a prayer for Dr. Daniel Mark Pogue and his fiancée Dr. Lisa Dedousis.

Take a moment folks.

Anonymous said...

OK!

Question KF. If Mr. McMillin has in any way obstructed an investigation as an employee of the state, who has jurisdiction over the investigation of him?

Regardless of the mistakes; there were many; certainly, there are real people that were engaged as a part of the investigation that occurred. Did anyone think to interview them? Lets make a list.

1. Dispatcher the night of the wreck.
2. Every officer on duty that night.
3. Every phone call in and out of Mr. McMillin.
4. Every phone call in and out of Mr. Stuart Irby/Mrs. Karen Irby.
5. Dispatch records for JPD between the hour before and hour after of the official time of the wreck.
6. Every officer that radioed in during the hour before and hour after the official....

This is just the start of investigation, and Stu and Ka-Ka got what? A lame investigation.

I am CYNICAL.

Anonymous said...

Let me say this. Stui and Kay are nothing more than spoiled brats. If they were in a real city; lets say Buckhead, Newport Beach, Manhattan, Bloomfield Hills, Cherry Hill, or any "privileged society" outside MS, they would be cooked - WELL DONE.

Anonymous said...

I'd be willing to bet Mac/JPD was aware of Karen's DUI/BAC refusal arrest in 1997. Obviously, in addition to the other BAC report indicating .13-.14. Wonder if he's fishing with Peters in South Louisiana right now...

The direct handling of this specific case as Chief of Police will have a major impact on the rumored LT GOV 2011 campaign. Obviously 7:10 agrees.

Yeah, there's a hell of a lot more to this tragic story. This case has already (almost) received exposure on a national level.

Except other large networks pounding the pavement in Jackson soon. BTW - This ain't a rumor.

I cannot image what the family of the 2 doctors that were murdered are going through. Especially considering how all 3 local networks are reporting the pure incompetence of this investigation since day 1 (or 5) began. Not to mention evidence missing... extremely suspicious for a case of this magnitude.

Anonymous said...

8:40 - I know Cherry Hill well, and these two would be a bus boy and a maid up there - that's REAL money up there ;-)

I agree with KF that there are just too many egregious, boneheaded errors to say this is merely incompetence.

Anyone care to speculate that this is why Harvey's first act in office was to cancel the contract to let that reality show about police investigators follow the JPD around?

I am appalled this incompetent, possibly crooked pol (Mac, not Harvey) is still thinking of running for Lt. Gov. - any decent pol should disown him immediately and stand up for victims' rights.

Anonymous said...

How true 8:40!Yes-these two would be shunned socially anywhere but here. Apparently money CAN buy class(at least people treat them that way to their face)in Jackson. What amazes me is how their "friends" slam them worse than anyone. Just won't do it publicly. They love to tell it in private. Wild stories, but who knows what to believe.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe for a minute that Sheriff McMillin would obstruct justice in any way in this case. Yes, the Irby's were campaign supporters...as were alot of us...but so what? McMillin is a former beat cop for JPD and knows how to work a case. Those who have given $$ to McMillin may be like me....just an average citizen who wants a strong "law and order" enforcement officer. I just wish he were still over JPD. There's nothing he can do to help the Irby's no matter how much he personally likes Stuart.

stilettoGOP said...

I hope we're -all- taking a second to say a prayer for the Pogue and Dedousis families. AND the Irbys. regardless of how you feel,

just pray.

He's in control..

Anonymous said...

Marshand Crisler was shot in the leg.

Barney Fife said...

Exactly how did McMillin help Karen Irby by assigning a rookie re-construction expert. His very
incompetence led to the erroneous finding of 114 mph. That error
is what opened the door for the depraved heart murder that she was charged with. Possibility of life in prison.

So, how did that help her? seems like it subjected her to tremendous
jeopardy. Had the rookie made his calculations on the low side, it wouyld have actually helped her. The 114 mph finding painted her as a depraved murderer.

The logic of declaring McMillin showing favoritism or outright evidence manipulation just doesnt scan.

Kingfish said...

So what happens when the DA comes to court with a reconstruction that is waaaaaaaaaaaay off? The other side blows it out of the water and knocks out most of the D.A.'s case for depraved heart murder.

Which I stated in my article and the fact you ignored it means

1. You just skimmed it and didn't see it or
2. Read it and are just plain stupid or
3. Are a Mac defender.

Barnhardt was not even the officer on call that night.

JacksonFreeJambalaya said...

If McMillin conspired to help Karen Irby, he sure picked an odd way to do it. allowing an error of 114 mph which , by your own judgement, is about the only basis for depraved heart murder.

Why are you so aggressive and insulting to me for making a simple comment?

nmisscommenter said...

A couple of things:

1) I think this is a great post, which gives a much more complete picture of what happened than any other reporting I've seen.

2) I'm completely unconvinced by the theory that McMillan threw the investigation. I've seen too much police incompetence-- including math errors in accident reconstruction almost just like this (by a highway patrolman)!. I'm also somewhat suspicious that the whole account of this is from Robert Smith's office, dumping on JPD. I'd like more information.

3) One thing that's gone unquestioned is the "2 glass of wine" thing. That's physically impossible.

Anonymous said...

The Chief of Police probably knew about the wreck within minutes of it happening. He definitely knew when he heard "Old Canton Road", "two people killed", "Mercedes", and "Irby" that the wreck would be very high-profile, and finally, he had to immediately know without a doubt, an accurate reconstruction of the wreck would be essential to the case. So what did Mac do? He assigned a rookie, very inexperienced Officer to do the reconstruction and didn't even tell him to do it ASAP. What does this tell me and others? Mac was trying to help the Irbys from the get go. An inaccurate reconstruction would hurt the DA's case, and he knew it.

Kingfish said...

The two glass of wine thing, well, I've not mentioned it much because that is pretty obvious.

As for errors, there were simply too many here in my judgement for it to be a mistake.

Anonymous said...

It is highly unlikely that karen Irby made the statement regarding the two glasses of wine without
instruction from her lawyer.

Anonymous said...

11:12. Just thinking......I agree that her lawyer told her to say two glasses of wine, but remember the defense at one time was planning to fight the BAC taken by the JPD. Maybe she didn't know the judge was going to ask her what happened, and maybe Karen went with her earlier instruction to say she only drank two glasses.

Kingfish said...

Probably. I'm not going to fault someone for telling the judge what her lawyer told her to say. The defense was going to probably knock the original BAC results out of the park.

Anonymous said...

From what I've read and heard in the last few days, Karen was going at least 70 mph. Even if it was only 70, that's still incredibly fast for that street, and especially at that curve. (Even someone who is cold sober would have a hard time navigating that curve at that speed.) However much Karen had to drink (whether two glasses of wine or more), the question is, why was she driving so outrageously fast? Not everyone who has been drinking will drive in excess of the speed limit. Some people who've been drinking will actually drive slower than the speed limit to try to compensate for the effect of the alcohol on their reaction times. Also, it seems to me that Karen's mentioning (at the hearing on Friday) that she'd had "two glasses of wine" was specifically designed to try to minimize the seriousness of what she did. (If she truly had only two glasses of wine to drink that night, I'd like to know what size glasses they were.) Also, that just makes me wonder even more why she was driving so fast.

I'm not at all convinced that either Stuart or Karen have become truly sorry before God for any of the many seriously selfish and wrong things they have done. Stuart didn't even show up at the hearing on Friday, which I think may show the kind of person he really is. Also, at the hearing, Karen seemed to say only the bare minimum she had to say to satisfy the judge. (What does all this say about what kind of parents Stuart and Karen have been to their children?) I hope both Stuart and Karen will become truly sorry for their wrongdoings, but, frankly, I haven't seen any convincing evidence of that so far.

It seems to me that Karen and Stuart are covering for one another, and that they now have a lot of other people covering for them as well, either directly or indirectly. I don't doubt that there may be various kinds of favors being promised and given, including things like money and material goods. But I also suspect that, with many of the people involved, it's also a case of, "I'll keep your secrets if you'll keep mine." If that's true, that would mean there have probably been various kinds of threats--some verbalized, other insinuated--that have been going on. Obviously, threats of exposing secrets can be extremely powerful, but I can't help but wonder if there could be other kinds of threats going on as well.

Kaptain Kangaroo said...

The way I see it about the "two glasses" is this...

1. She was not prepared to make a statement. Her attorney spoke up and said we stipulated it in our filing.
2. Two glasses is what she has obviously been telling herself, it was not rehearsed, it was what she has convinced herself of.
3. Insult to injury is Green's reply, "you do not challenge the BAC" do you?" Karen replied, "no."
4. I thought the entire scenario a bit contrived, however, Green saying she was going to sentence her right there was "not on the script."
5. "Two glasses of wine," is an excuse, and Green appears to have looked past it. My hopes are that the deal that was already in place is now a bit in the air, given her plea in open court. She did that to herself.

Anonymous said...

From what I've read and heard in the last few days, Karen was going at least 70 mph. Even if it was only 70, that's still incredibly fast for that street, and especially at that curve. (Even someone who is cold sober would have a hard time navigating that curve at that speed.)

I disagree with this notion. I own an E500. I haven't but I could easily take that specific turn at 70 and never stray from my lane. Easy.

It has not been debunked that Karen was going ~110. All we know is that JPD botched the investigation to prove so in court versus a formidable defense counselor.

70 is fast for the street and the curve but not, if sober, fast enough to lose control.

Kaptain Kangaroo said...

Is that the "Economy" class Mercedes? ;)

Anonymous said...

If I drink 5 glasses of wine and state under oath that I had 2 glasses of wine, I'm not lying, am I? Before you get to 5, you get to 2. I didn't hear Karen say the word "only" before the word "two." This seems disingenuous, doesn't it? That's why lawyers pay attention to words. I hope judges do, too.

RegularReaderandPoster said...

Great job Kingfish! I can't help but feel that the best lines of all of these are your own...

While justice was served, there was no victory here, no reason to celebrate, just a numbing sense of tragedy about something that should never have happened. Two doctors who should be enjoying their marriage vows and helping others, a mother at home with two kids, a family legacy once well respected in Jackson, all destroyed.

I'm truly sad for all these people...but mostly Karen. Stuart will continue to live his privileged albeit tarnished life. The two doctors are well...gone. And Karen stands alone in the end, leaving her children and unlike the opinion of Anonymous 2:17...I believe more regretful and painfully sorry than any of us will ever be able to imagine. It's tragic beyond comprehension. God Bless them all.

Anonymous said...

I believe Karen is very sorry she caused the deaths of two people. I really do. She would have to be the devil himself not to have remorse. Stuart on the other hand is just cowart in my book. He is hiding behind supposed sickness to protect himself. If the truth was really known he probably played a large part in Karen losing complete control of the car. I just hope someone, anyone finds a way to remove the children from his home before he seriously hurts them.

Anonymous said...

It amazes me that so many people feel sorry for Karen. Karen chose to have a baby with Stuart. Karen chose to marry Stuart. Karen chose to stay married to Stuart. Karen chose to go out with Stuart the night the wreck happened. Karen chose to drink the night of the wreck. Karen chose to get behind the wheel that night and drive at a high rate of speed.
Look where all these choices have led Karen.....I don't feel sorry for Karen that she may be going to jail. I feel sorry that Karen didn't love herself enough to have made better choices....
I feel very sorry for the loved ones of the deceased who will carry this pain with them for the rest of their lives. There will be a hole in their hearts forever, no matter what.

Anonymous said...

8:05- I couldn't agree more! Karen indeed made all those choices! No one forced her- she is an adult. Free to decide how to live her life. She "trapped" Stuart into marriage- known fact- wanted the wealth and status. Her first marriage shows she has a history of "poor choices." The 2 glasses of wine thing shouts- I am in Denial- Accept very little responsiblity!!! Has no remorse!

Anonymous said...

You are right 8:05. Karen chose to get involved with a serial adulterer who banged his friends' still married wives when the opportunities allowed. She knew damn well the character of Stuart Irby before she leaped.

Anonymous said...

The 2 glasses of wine thing. I know a server at the country club. Actually I know the server that served them that night. He said the next day she had only had 2 glasses of wine at the country club. There is a charge ticket to back that up. Is the CC named in the civil suit? If not that is probably the reason why. Of course, no one has anyway of knowing what she had before she left the house. But I bet the ticket from the CC will back up what she said.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know what her TRUE BAC result was?

Anonymous said...

Two glasses or ten glasses... it doesn't matter. Karen was legally drunk. The DA said her BAC about an hour after the wreck taken at UMC was between .13 and .14. The judge asked did the defense did they concur with this finding or something to that affect, and the answer was yes. She was drunk, and by saying she only drank two glasses only made her in the eyes of everyone that much worse.

And finally, yes indeed did Karen make bad choices. No doubt, but Stuart has, too. Frankly, I think they deserve each other. Neither has one ounce of morals, character, or class. Stuart may drive around town and think he's something, but if he thinks people respect him anymore he's living in dream world

D said...

I think too much is being made about the fact that two doctors were killed. What if it were two crackheads? Wouldn't the crime be the same?

Anonymous said...

Prediction of Sentence: 7-10 yrs concurrent, serves about 2 (maybe) and then MDOC Commissioner Epps sends her home with an ankle bracelet.

Anonymous said...

I think you are close to accurate with 7-10 yrs concurrent but I believe there is a minimum amount of sucha sentence before eligibility of parole. I think its 85% ,,,, but fortunately I have no experience in this matter. except, I know someone who recently was sentenced to the same crime (negligent culpable manslaughter ) who received 7 yrs that involved one fatality. (in Rankin Co)

Anonymous said...

9:56 Taxpayers paid a fortune to train those two doctors, and expected to get about 40 years worth of medical care out of them; that's why society supports medical schools. The crime is the same, but if you think the value of two crackheads to society is worth the same as two doctors you are too dense to educate.

Anonymous said...

If Karen has become truly sorry for her speeding and abuse of alcohol, then why did she allow her attorneys--as recently as within the last month or so--to have the car (the Irby Mercedes) examined to see if there was any problem with the car that could have led to the accident? If Karen already knew that her speeding and drinking were the cause of the accident, then why was she still willing to let her attorneys try to blame it, at least in part, on the car?

How much did it cost the taxpayers of Hinds County to have the district attorney's office prepare for the trial? In other words, how much money could Karen Irby have saved the taxpayers if she had admitted to her wrongdoing a year ago?

Also, is Stuart still driving? Has he ever been truly sorry for his own abuse of alcohol? (If he hadn't been drinking so much himself that night, Karen probably would never have been behind the wheel.) Also, if the accident truly caused Stuart serious brain damage, then why has he been driving since the accident? Can we be assured that he will never drive again? Or is he going to have some "miraculous" recovery sometime after Karen has gone to jail?

Autogyro said...

My gut tells me Judge Green will split the difference between 10 and 20 years, that is, 15 to serve. But my gut says a lot of things.

Anonymous said...

9:56 a.m.

I think you are spot on. It doesn't matter whether the 2 deceased were crackheads or doctors, they are both deceased regardless.

It's curious that nothing has ever been mentioned about their bloodwork. It's very plausible to think that 2 love birds may have had dinner and drinks on their first time together in a few weeks.

A tragedy all the way around!

Anonymous said...

9:56 Their blood work would have been relevant if 1) they had left their lane and careened into oncoming traffic or 2) exceeded the speed limit; neither happened.

Next time you're sick - call a crackhead.

Anonymous said...

Even if it were relevant, which it's not, can you even get a valid BAC from two people who were burned to death?

Anonymous said...

Regardless of the time Karen Irby is sentenced too, which in my opinion will be less than 5 years, I have a sick feeling that she will need to be in the infirmary every time she gets a hangnail. Within six months she will have some kind of "complication" from her extensive injuries she suffered during the wreck and there will be filings to reduce her sentence. Of course, judging from the way she sprinted out of the courthouse on Friday, I'd say she recovered remarkably well.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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