Sunday, March 24, 2019

Man Shot in Brandon

The Brandon Police Department issued the following statement.

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"Blessed Are the Merciful"

The late Dr. Frank Pollard continued to preach on the Sermon on the Mount.  If the temptation of this beautiful spring weather kept you from going to church, don't feel too guilty as JJ provides this sermon.  Enjoy.

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Bill Crawford: Gov Should Veto Dark Money Bill

"Transparency is critical to fair government," Gov. Phil Bryant, a longtime champion of transparency and accountability in government, once said.

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Saturday, March 23, 2019

Tomorrow at the Bijou

To Kill a Mockingbird returns to the big screen tomorrow and Wednesday.

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Back to the Thrilla

When it comes to rivalries, forget the Iron Bowl.  Forget the Celtics-Lakers.  Forget Connors-McEnroe.  Few rivalries came close to the white-hot hatred of Ali-Frazier.  Those were two guys who hated each other so much they literally wanted to kill each other in the ring.  An outstanding HBO documentary about the Thrilla in Manila popped up on Youtube a few years ago. It covers not just the fight but the entire Frazier-Ali rivalry.  One little nugget reported: Ali was going to quit after the fourteenth round but Frazier's trainer beat him to it.

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No Comment!

What could possibly go wrong with some of my favorite things?

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Friday, March 22, 2019

TIM-BERRR! Receiver Sues Stewart Patridge, Mom, & Bankplus in Timber Fraud Case

-Receiver sues Stewart Patridge and friends for commissions in Lamar Adams case
-Bankplus suspected "money-laundering", reported to Feds in 2015.
-Receiver sues Bankplus for Alleged RICO Violations 
-Bankplus says it complied with law.

Lamar Adams played the Ole Miss network like a fiddle as he used an Ole Miss football star to further his timber investment fraud scheme.   Receiver Alysson Mills sued former Ole Miss quarterback Stewart Patridge, his mother  Gee Gee Patridge, Jason Cowgill, Martin Murphree, Mutual of Omaha, and Bankplus  in U.S. District Court yesterday in an effort to recover funds for victims of Lamar Adams timber fraud scheme. 

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Porter Bingham Indicted

The Justice Department issued the following statement.

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Shad White: Mississippi's Corruption Problem and What We Can Do About it.

“Is Mississippi the most corrupt state in the country?”

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Cashing the Checks Until He Couldn't

Life is always about timing and the Lamar Adams case is no exception.  One poor victim bought $100,000 of phony timber investments from William McHenry and Lamar Adams literally hours before the SEC froze all of Adams' assets.

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St. Paddy's Day Parade Route Announced

The city of Jackson issued the following statement and map.

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Thursday, March 21, 2019

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Watch Pearl River Valley Water Supply District personnel attempt to burn out Sylvinia vegetation from Pelahatchie Bay, courtesy of WLBT.

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#21

JPD issued the following statement.

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Go Over the Edge!

The Friends of Children's Hospital issued the following press release.

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Baker Boyz Found in Contempt

- Receiver settles with Lamar Adams' children. 

A federal judge found the Baker Boyz in civil contempt of court in the SEC's lawsuit against Lamar Adams.  U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves ruled on March 13 that Jon Seawright and Brent Alexander interfered with Receiver Alysson Mills' efforts to recover funds for victims of Lamar Adams' Ponzi scheme.  Mr. Seawright is partner at Baker Donelson while Mr. Alexander is a lobbyist for the firm.  The Court will determine the penalties for Mr. Seawright and Mr. Alexander at a later date.

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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Stokes Unplugged

Kenneth Stokes and his sidekick, the Reverend P.J. Williams, were in rare form last Sunday morning on their weekly radio show.

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Girlfriend Shoots Boyfriend

JPD issued the following statement. 

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Sanders Speaks!!!

"They want to take us back to slavery" and other gems were uttered by Jackson community activist Enoch Sanders last night at the meeting of the Jackson City Council.  His public comments were definitely for the books.  Watch for yourself.

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UMMC Partners w/ Firstnet for Rural Healthcare

UMMC issued the following statement.

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Sid Salter: Wicker's VOte Was the Right One

The social media hysteria, threats of political retribution, and withering criticism of Mississippi senior U.S. Sen. Roger Wicker’s vote in favor of a resolution of disapproval for President Donald Trump’s Feb. 15 national emergency declaration aside, Wicker’s vote was the right one.

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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Fetal Heartbeat Abortion Bill Goef to Governor

Lieutenant Governor Tate Reevef iffued the following ftatement. 

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Seafood R'evolution Closing

CAET posted the following press release.

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Diocese Publishes Lists of Priests "Credibly Accused" of Sexual Abuse.

The Catholic Diocese of Jackson provided a list of priests "credibly accused of sexual abuse in the Diocese.  The Diocese stated on its website:

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Court Upholds Firing of Trooper

A trooper failed to get his job back at the Mississippi Highway Patrol last week. Hinds County Circuit Judge Faye Peterson threw out an Mississippi State Personnel Board order to reinstate James Richards after MHP appealed the decision to Hinds County Court.

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Ridgeland Seeks Credit Card Thieves

The Ridgeland Police Department issued the following statement and video.

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Monday, March 18, 2019

Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi, Part IV

Judgement Day for the Ole Miss football program and the 2017 Egg Bowl are covered in the final episode of Foul Play: Pain in Mississippi.  SB Nation reporter Steven Godfrey covered the Ole Miss football scandal in  a four-part Youtube series. The SB Nation production was ignored by the Mississippi media when it was released in August 2018.  No surprise at such a snub as the the "legitimate media" broke hardly any news in the scandal and was more than content to leave the heavy lifting to the national media.  Posted below is the "Feel Around Edition."

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Jackson Gets Pre-K Grant

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement. 

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15 Year Old Accused of Carjacking

JPD issued the following statement. 

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Dog Pack Mauls Child

A small child was nearly killed by a pack of dogs in Montgomery County Friday.  The Winona Times reported:

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It's Match Day!

The Ides of March came for graduating Mississippi medical school students Friday as they found out which residency programs accepted them. 

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Awwwwwww.........

Soldier comes home from Afghanistan and surprises son at local school.

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Sunday, March 17, 2019

Baker Donelson Swings Ax Again at SEC

Baker Donelson reiterated its request that U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves dismiss the SEC's complaint against the white-shoe law firm in the Lamar Adams case.   The SEC is trying to claw back illegal profits earned by Lamar Adams and several promoters of a $164 million Ponzi scheme based on phony timber investments.   Receiver Alysson Mills represents the SEC.

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Sunday Morning Sermon

"Have you had a conversation with Satan lately?" opened the late Dr. Frank Pollard in this 1990 sermon.  Dr. Pollard went on to talk about dealing with the media.  Still true today.  If you can't make it to church this morning, enjoy the Sunday Morning Sermon.

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Bill Crawford: Does Pro-Life Mississippi Let People Die or Help Them Live?

Is Mississippi only pro-life when it's easy? Or are we pro-life when it's hard too?

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Saturday, March 16, 2019

When Wrasslin' Was Entertaining

Nothing like ole wrasslin' promos on a Saturday.

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Friday, March 15, 2019

Closed!

The Waffle House on McDowell Road said enough is enough and shut it all down.


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The Wars of the Smiles

Who can place a patient under general anesthesia in a dentist's office? Should such services even take place in a dental office?  A quiet war has been raging over these very questions at the Mississippi Board of Dental Examiners for nearly a year.

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Watson Quality Ford Gets Fisher

Watson Quality Ford won a $80,870 judgement against  Renna Fisher.  Watson sued after Fisher stole two vehicles from the dealership.

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Thursday, March 14, 2019

Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi, Part 3

 The tempting of a young Leo Lewis, the fall of Hugh Freeze, and the wisdom of James Carville are covered in Episode 3 of Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi.   Reporter Steven Godfrey attempted to cover the Ole Miss football scandal in this  a four-part Youtube series. The SB Nation production was ignored by the Mississippi media when it was released in August 2018.  No surprise at such a snub as the the "legitimate media" broke hardly any news in the scandal and was more than content to leave the heavy lifting to the national media.  Posted below is the "Feel Around Edition" of Episode 3.  Enjoy.  

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Brookhaven: No Pot in the Lot

The Brookhaven Police Department posted the following statement on Facebook:

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Condolences

Our condolences go to Hinds County Supervisor Robert Graham and his family.  His brother Charles passed away unexpectedly today.  

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Old Times There Are Not Forgotten

It's been a while since something such as this happened:

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Straight Outta Rankin

Meet Parchman Resident Hughey Fikes:

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Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi, Part Deux

Did Leo Lewis play off MSU against Ole Miss and other schools in exchange for a payoff? What was Ole Miss Assistant Athletic Director Barney Farrar's true role in the university's NCAA scandal? Was he a scapegoat? Last but not least, where does Frank Melton and Donald Trump fit into all this?  Reporter Steven Godfrey attempted to cover these questions in Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi, a four-part Youtube series about the Ole Miss NCAA scandal. The SB Nation production was ignored by the Mississippi media when it was released in August 2018.  No surprise at such a snub as the the "legitimate media" broke hardly any news in the scandal and was more than content to leave the heavy lifting to the national media.  Posted below is Episode 2.  Pour a glass of Buffalo Trace and enjoy.

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Disgusting

Rescuers saved two abused Great Danes while Pearl police officers arrested their owners yesterday.  WJTV reported:

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Braves Offer $5 Tickets to Military, 1st Responders

The Mississippi Braves posted the following statement on its website.

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Grocer Investment Act Goes to Governor

Apparently the grocery industry in Mississippi can't survive without government help.  The legislature passed the "Grocer Investment Act" this week.   Representative Jeff Smith's bill purports to increase "access to retail food outlets that sell fresh fruits, vegetables, and other healthy food."  Some highlights of HB #1132 are:

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June's Justice: Another $100K Bond for Murder

Jackson Municipal Court Judge June Hardwick gave yet another $100,000 bond for murder.   JPD arrested Cedric Taylor on March 6 and charged him with murder in the death of Dewan Fortner. 

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Party!

It appears there was a Spring Break Voter Registration Party in Canton last week.

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Sid Salter: Will Baker, Fitch, or Taggart Become First GOP AG Since 1878?

The 2019 Mississippi Republican primary for attorney general will pit three veteran GOP politicians against each other for the right to become Mississippi’s first GOP attorney general since George Emrick Harris in 1878.
The Republican winner will face Democrat candidate U.S. Army Col. Jennifer Riley Collins (Ret.), a decorated military intelligence officer and civil rights attorney. Collins is the only African American candidate in the race. She is a highly credible candidate.

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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi, Part I

Was Laremy Tunsil sabotaged? Who are the "bagmen"?  Is college football in Mississippi truly pay for play? Was Leo Lewis a dumb jock or a playa who figured out how to play the system?  Is the Egg Bowl the scene of the most "intense" rivalry in college football?  Reporter Steven Godfrey attempted to cover these questions in Foul Play: Paid in Mississippi, a four-part Youtube series about the Ole Miss NCAA scandal.  The SB Nation production was barely, if at all, mentioned in the Mississippi media when it was released in August 2018 even though the production value was quite good.  The first video is posted below.  Pour a drink, light a cigar, and enjoy. 

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Alston Continues to Get Continued

The trial for Sheldon Alston, Jr. is scheduled to take place during the April term of the Lafayette County Circuit Court.  A grand jury indicted Sheldon Alston, Jr., for aggravated domestic violence and kidnapping in June, 2017.  The indictment accuses Alston of strangling and kidnapping his girlfriend on September 7-8, 2016 while he was a student at Ole Miss.  Alston faces prison sentences of 1 yr-to-life or 30 years for kidnapping, and from 2-to-20 years for aggravated domestic violence if convicted. Alston is 22 years old.

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One Bright Day in the Middle of the Night.....

Two fine young lads entered into fisticuffs by the JSU campus and created quite the spectacle for viewers. 

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Largest Study Ever Says No Link Between MMR Vaccines and Autism

Here is something for the Know-Nothings in Mississippi: A Danish study of over 657,000 subjects showed no link between vaccines and autism.  The Annals of Internal Medicine reported last week:

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Monday, March 11, 2019

Money Clock Ticks for DPS in Bomgar Fight

The Mississippi Department of Public Safety has spent more than $18,000 in legal fees as it contests two $100 fines levied against two employees by the Ethics Commission. 

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James Tulp: Where is the "Deepest Republican Field" Now?

Every four years, politicians seeking to raise their personal profile run for president of the United States. Some, I assume, actually think they have a chance to win. With the 2020 race already heating up, It's time to pause and reflect back on what was hailed as the “deepest field ever” of Republican candidates.

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Down Goes Frazier!

Money Powell's grandson can stick and move so well that his opponent was moved off of his feet and flat onto the canvas when stuck in the third round.  The knockout is pretty funny to watch.

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AG Launches Students Against Violence App

Lord Protector Jim Hood issued the following statement. 

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Drug Bust in Brandon

The Brandon Police Department issued the following statement.

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Sunday, March 10, 2019

Baker Boyz: We Were Just Loan Originators

This post is some bonus coverage of the Lamar Adams case.  The Baker Boyz filed a motion to dismiss.  JJ will hold off covering it until the receiver files her response.  It's easier for readers to keep up with the motions and responses if they are paired together at times.  This particular lawsuit has several threads going at one time: Lord Snow, Baker Donelson, Baker Boyz, and the Financial Wizards at Lord Snow (Thornton et al.) so JJ is trying to keep them separate and digestible for you, the gentle reader. The memorandum to support the motion dismiss is posted below.  Something for lazy Sunday afternoon reading.  You were just dying to do some yard work, weren't you? Feel free to read and comment.

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Dak's Dog Bites Off Woman's Finger

It appears Mississippi's favorite son Dak Prescott has gone to the dogs.  One of his pit bulls bit off part of a woman's finger.  WFAA reported:

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Eyes of the Heart

The late Reverend Dr. Frank Pollard continued preaching from the Sermon on the Mount in this 1990 sermon.  Something for those of you who were caught by the time change and couldn't make it to church this morning.

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Bill Crawford: Hospital Closings & Healthcare for Poor Become Campaign Issues

"Half of Mississippi’s rural hospitals at risk of closing, report says," read the startling headline in Mississippi Today.

"Thirty-one of Mississippi’s 64 rural hospitals, or 48%, are at 'high financial risk,' according to a national report of rural hospitals from independent consulting firm Navigant," read the article.

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Saturday, March 9, 2019

Bedwetter Alert

Some ANTIFA dude didn't like being told he could not dress like a Klansman in New Orleans.....

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Carjacking on Lakeover Road

JPD issued the following statement. 

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Friday, March 8, 2019

Baker Donelson Tries to Clear-Cut SEC's Timber Fraud Lawsuit.

Baker Donelson asked a federal court to dismiss the SEC's lawsuit against the prestigious law firm in the Lamar Adams fraud case.   The SEC is trying to claw back illegal profits earned by Lamar Adams and several promoters of a $164 million ponzi scheme based on phony timber investments.  However, the court-appointed receiver, Alysson Mills, did not turn the other cheek but fired back at the law factory with her own response this morning.

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Hero of the Day

The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following statement.

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Jailer Accused of Having Child Porn

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement.

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Thursday, March 7, 2019

The Return of the Kai

One of the pleasant surprises online last year was Cobra Kai, the Karate Kid sequel.  Youtube posted the trailer tonight and it appears the second season will pick right up where the first one ended.  Get the popcorn and beer.  This is going to be fun.

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30 Years for Killing Wife Over Pizza

Rankin-Madison District Attorney John Bramlett issued the following statement.

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Jackson Settles W/Deputy Chief for $55,200

The city of Jackson settled a sex-discrimination suit with Deputy Police Chief Tina Wallace.   The City Council approved a payment of $55,200 to Ms. Wallace Tuesday.  She sued the city in 2017 in U.S. District Court.

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State Auditor Demands Board Repay $523,388

State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement Monday: 

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College Savings Shootout Starts Today

Treasurer Lynn Fitch and College Savings Mississippi will host the fifth annual College Savings Mississippi Savings Shootout during the 2019 Mississippi High School Activities Association (MHSAA) State Basketball Tournament at the Mississippi Coliseum in Jackson on March 7-9, 2019.

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Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Othor Rips Siemens Contract Players

Othor Cain tore into the Siemens contract yesterday on his Facebook live show.  Mr. Cain didn't pull any punches as he blamed several Jackson Mayors, Councilmen, and believe it or not, the black business class of Jackson.  He provides a pretty good timeline of the entire Siemens fiasco.  Enjoy.

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Ridgeland is LOST!!!

Damn. Where is an HOA when you need one?  Quick!!!  Call Mary Watkins! We got a job for her.  In front of Fresh Market Today:

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Meet the 300 Mississippi Leaders Endorsing Tate

As the filing deadline for the 2019 governor's race approaches, more than 300 Mississippi leaders have publicly signed on to endorse Lt. Governor Tate Reeves. This broad coalition of Trump campaign leaders, elected officials, and grassroots GOP leaders has come together to say that Tate Reeves is the choice of Mississippi's conservative voters. Reeves has earned this historic support because of his record of fighting for lower taxes, better schools, and more jobs.

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Receiver Raised Concerns About Premises Liability Bill

The SEC-Appointed Receiver in the Lamar Adams fraud case raised some questions about a premises liability bill in the Mississippi legislature on her website. However, the House amended the bill to allay her concerns Receiver Alysson Mills stated on Madisontimberreceiver.com on February 26:

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JPD Officer Arrested for Domestic Violence

JPD arrested JPD officer Cherika Evans for domestic violence on February 4.  The police report states: 

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Sid Salter: GOP SOS Primary May Raise Interesting Election Law Issues

One of the more interesting political eleventh-hour developments as the 2019 March 1 qualifying deadline approached came in the Mississippi Secretary of State’s race with the surprising entry of incumbent Republican Southern District Public Service Commissioner Sam Britton into that GOP primary against incumbent Gulf Coast State Sen. Michael Watson.

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Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Winter Is Almost Here

HBO dropped a trailer for Season 8 of Game of Thrones today.

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JPD Fires Police Officers in Mario Clark Case

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement.

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Dispatch From Pelahatchie ( Sunshine Edition)

What would a Pelahatchie Board of Aldermen meeting be without some fussin', fuedin', and fightin' with the Mayor?

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90% of Rez Salvinia Gone

The Pearl River Valley Water Supply District issued the following press release.

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RSS Attacks Hood, Lauds Weed Economy,

Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith pulled no punches in an interview with Sarah Ulmer of Y'all Politics.  He attacked Attorney General Jim Hood for racist prosecutions of him, wants to make marijuana a cash crop, and take down The Flag.  The video is posted below. 

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Oops!

Everyone gets a trophy under the new Illinois lottery system.   ABC7 (Chicago) reported:

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Monday, March 4, 2019

I See Nothing

Only in New Orleans.  Can't say they are wrong.

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No Comment.

You.Can't.Make.This.Up.  Check out who qualified to run for Justice Court Judge in Madison County.

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Day-Care Carjacker Gets Nearly 5 Years

The Justice Department issued the following statement.

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Dog Loose on Sheffield

Dog loose on Sheffield between Ridgewood and Old Canton road. Has collar and tag.


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Neighborhood Gone to the Dogs?

A Northeast Jackson woman accidentally shot an 18 year-old man as she fired warning shots at a dog that jumped out of its yard.  WLBT reported Saturday:

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Jim Hood: Blogs Aren't Legitimate

It's never a good idea to publicly snub the media, as Attorney General Jim Hood found out Thursday.  The website questioned how much money was spent on General Hood's office in Houston.  It's a legitimate question that any politician could expect to arise during the campaign.  Y'all Politics has had the Attorney General in its cross-hairs for quite some time so the Democratic candidate for Governor should have known he would have to answer questions about his Houston office.  Unfortunately, Jim Hood didn't exactly provide the best answer when a Y'all Politics reporter questioned him at a press conference.

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Sunday, March 3, 2019

"What We're Dealing With Here is a Complete Lack of Respect for the Law"

Looks like the criminal element decided to visit the JPD Training Academy:

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Bill Crawford: The New Republican Reality: Debt, Debt, & More Debt

"The national debt has passed a new milestone, topping $22 trillion for the first time," reported the Associated Press. "The Treasury Department's daily statement showed Tuesday that total outstanding public debt stands at $22.01 trillion. It stood at $19.95 trillion when President Donald Trump took office on Jan. 20, 2017."

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Sunday Morning Sermon

"What a man has is not as valuable as what he is" said the late Dr. Frank Pollard in this 1990 sermon.  If the weather kept you from getting to church, enjoy Dr. Pollard's words. 

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Saturday, March 2, 2019

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Readers wanting some James Bond on the cheap might want to check out Amazon Prime.  All six seasons of the The Saint TV series are now available.  International intrigue, jet-setting sets, and some good ole-fashioned action are served up on a regular basis.   The series stars a young Roger Moore.  The first four seasons are in black and white.  Enjoy.

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And We Are Off to the Races

The Silly Season ended yesterday in Mississippi politics as qualifying for statewide, legislative, and county races drew to a close?  Various lists of candidates are posted below.  Some brief observations.

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Friday, March 1, 2019

TIM-BERRRR: Another Tree Falls

The Justice Department issued the following statement.

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Taggart Takes a Shot

Andy Taggart, yes, THE Andy Taggart, qualified to run in the Republican primary for Attorney general today. 

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Don't Forget About Hinds County....

Check out the candidates running for office in Hinds County.  However, there is one big question that will be answered today.

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Meanwhile, Up in Madison County....

The Silly Season is almost over....

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Classy!

It seems the Ole Miss fans threw a fit at the end of the Tennessee game:

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Waller Throws Hat in Ring

Bill Waller, Jr. issued the following statement.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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