Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Wow!

Should we move this baby to the Rez?

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Update on Wayneland home

WLBT reported last Friday that squatters and bums were hanging out at an abandoned home on the corner of Wayneland and Briarwood Drive. A friend of the homeowner's family contacted JJ and provided more information.

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MAC suing Siemens (Updated)

MAC Construction issued the following press release:

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People have gone crazy.

Here are several press releases issued by the Pearl and Jackson police departments today.

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Deputies nab the creature of the Flowood lagoon

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release:

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The Mayor & his mortgage

What exactly happened to Mayor Tony Yarber's mortgage?  The Clarion Ledger published a story with the headline "Mayor's mortgage vanishes after election".  However, the actual vanishing was a forgiveness of the mortgage by the lender. Anna Wolfe reported the details of his mortgage in a story that was thorough in the actual details.   The article stated the Mayor's mortgage was released by Wells Fargo in April 2014 after he had not paid it for several months.  It even included an audio recording of the Mayor describing his travails at the time during a sermon.  However, Hizzoner responded to the story on Facebook:

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Monday, May 30, 2016

Update: Elderly lady found dead under house was electrocuted.

JPD stated there were no signs of obvious trauma.  JPD issued the following statement:

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Checking the returns

JJ posted the tax returns of local non-profit organizations several years ago.  It is time to start posting them again.  Here are the tax returns for several local private schools.  Jackson Prep's are no longer available although they were several years ago.

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Sunday, May 29, 2016

Smuggler's blues at MDOC

The Mississippi Department of Corrections issued the following statement:

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Bedwetter alert.

Apparently Dr. Martin Luther King is not progressive enough for some people.  Some Oregon college students debated whether to use a Dr. King quote- but not for the reasons you might imagine Dr. King's critics using in um, Mississippi.  The Emerald reported:

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Jutland

Time for some military porn.  The Battle of Jutland was the only major naval battle fought in The Great War. The Centenary Initiative produced a very nice interactive website about the Battle of Jutland. Check out this site if you are a history or navy buff.  It was probably the only major battle involving the dreadnoughts unless one counts the battle of Tshushima. Enjoy.

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No comment.

The Charlotte Observer looked at the bathroom debate from a different angle in an editorial published last week:

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Saturday, May 28, 2016

Ole Miss responds to NCAA in an "exemplary" fashion.

Ole Miss responded to NCAA allegations of wrong doing in its athletic programs. The NCAA allegations and Ole Miss response are posted below.

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Friday, May 27, 2016

Kishia quits. (Updated)

Jackson Public Works Director Kishia Powell resigned her position today.
Sent from my BlackBerry Passport

Update (5/28/16, 3:20 PM): Mayor Tony Yarber issued the following statement:

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Mississippi leads the way

The Mississippi State Department of Health issued the following statement:

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Wayneland woes

WLBT reported squatters are popping up at a home on Wayneland Drive in Northeast Jackson:

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Rick Cleveland sings Kumbaya

This college baseball season in Mississippi has given us so much to cheer: conference championships, nationally ranked teams, splendid players and so much more.

But did you ever think you would see what we saw Saturday? Mississippi State fans openly cheered an Ole Miss victory.

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

What is going on at JRA?

Things may not be all kosher at the Jackson Redevelopment Authority.   Star reporter Anna Wolfe reports in the Clarion-Ledger:

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Jeff Good wins JJ poll.

The results are in for the first JJ poll conducted for the 2017 Jackson Mayor's race.  Restaurateur Jeff Good won the poll as he edged out Senator John Horhn. There is no doubt that some online ballot-stuffing takes place in these polls so look at who didn't get votes.  Very interesting.

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How to handle a bully

Good job!!!

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Lock & Load

JPD is searching for Jamerio Hudson and Antonio Williams as suspects in two possible murders.  Consider them armed and dangerous.  JPD issued these statements and mug shots:

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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Meanwhile back at the Rev....

A birthday celebration took place for Dr. Wright and crew after that board meeting yesterday.

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Blinded Reporting: The Cleveland "desegregation" case.

Here we go again. Clarion-Ledger reporter Jimmie Gates just can't seem to tell the truth about the Cleveland "desegregation" case.  Mr. Gates opined in a Sunday Clarion-Ledger column that Cleveland schools should "desegregate" and get along with "other races".  Mr. Gates wrote:

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MHP will be out in force

The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following statement:

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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

MDE has been very good to a deputy superintendent

It appears Deputy State Superintendent Dr. John Q. Porter has fed quite well at the public trough over the last few years.  The State Board of Education hired Dr. Porter at a salary of $195,000 in May, 2015.  State Auditor Stacey Pickering told Superintendent Dr. Carey Wright the salary was illegal since it exceeded 150% of the Governor's salary.  However, Dr. Porter made a nice sum of money through no-bid contracts awarded behind closed doors before he was hired.

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Board of Ed backs Governor

The Mississippi Board of Education has been meeting in executive session for over an hour today.  MDE issued this statement. 

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Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

The only thing missing was someone screaming for a blue blankie.

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Woodham seeks chance at parole.

Luke Woodham.  The mere  mention of the name recalls one of the worst nightmares that ever took place in Mississippi.  Nearly twenty years have passed since that bloody October day, but no one who was alive then has forgotten its horror.  Woodham is trying to get a chance at parole.  Woodham might actually get to be eligible for parole thanks to a 2012 U.S. Supreme Court ruling.  

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JPD catches armed robbers

JPD issued the following press release and mug shots.

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Monday, May 23, 2016

Feds send duo to jail for using firearms in murder.

U.S. Attorney Greg Davis issued the following statement:

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Mike VI has cancer

Well this really sucks.  LSU issued the following statement:

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Hold the Door

We are halfway through Season 6 of Game of Thrones.  Last night's episode was one for the books as it's ending punched you in the gut.  It was directed by Lost's Jack Bender.  Bender lived up up to his resume.  Some thoughts about last night.

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50 years for a "first-time offender"? Here is the Rest of the story.

Mississippi's conscience, Clarion-Ledger star reporter Jerry Mitchell, focused his attention on problems in the criminal justice system in Mississippi in a series of articles called Blinded Justice. Mr. Mitchell opened the series with an "expose" on the case of 24 year-old Rankin County criminal (Gregory) Tyler Moore.  The story reported Moore is serving a fifty-year sentence for several counts of auto burglaries and house burglaries.  However, Mr. Mitchell reports that Moore is serving fifty years as a "first-time felon".

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Saturday, May 21, 2016

Hillspox trolls himself



Check out this tweet.  Brian Fallon is the spokesman for the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign. 

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Clarion-Ledger does it again

The Cleveland Municipal School District will appeal a federal judge's "desegregation" order. Read this Clarion-Ledger story about the appeal and see if there is any pertinent information left out of the story:

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Security guard saves day at Freelons using his 2A rights

JPD issued the following press release :

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Friday, May 20, 2016

Stolen car alert

From Facebook: BE ON LOOK OUT! Two b/m's in a stolen vehicle - Gold Chrysler 300 tag# HRJ 852. They just broke into a vehicle at Planet Fitness a few min ago. Last seen headed north on frontage road toward Briarwood. If you see it, call 911 immediately!

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State Auditor: Dr. Wright overpaid Deputy & violated the law

State Auditor Stacey Pickering told State Superintendent of Education Dr. Carey Wright that the hiring of Deputy State Superintendent John Porter at a salary of $195,000 per year violated the law in a letter on May 18.  The Mississippi State Personnel Board notified Mr. Pickering of the violation after Mr. Porter's salary appeared on this website Monday.   The letter is posted below.

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Antar throws his hat into the ring.

Antar Lumumba announced his candidacy for Mayor of Jackson yesterday at City Hall.  Here is the video of his announcement. 

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If we build it, will they come?

Tax credits fund movies filmed in Mississippi, yet the movies rarely seem to make it to the big screen.  The film tax credits are often used for commercials as well.  The Sun-Herald questioned the film tax credit program in Mississippi earlier this week:

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The latest crime stats

Here are the Jackson crime stats for the week ending May 8, 2016.

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Thursday, May 19, 2016

JPD Officer and a bunch of Patels busted for visa & marriage fraud

U.S. Attorney Greg Davis issued the following press release:

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Louis gets another day in court

The Mississippi Supreme Court issued the following order in the appeal of Louis Kuebler:

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JPD captures kidnapper

JPD issued the following press release and mug shot:

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Obamacare shrinks in Mississippi

Health insurance companies are withdrawing from Obamacare exchanges serving rural areas.  The Wall Street Journal reported last week:

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Madison Walgreen's ATM hit.

 The same crime took place at the Meadowbrook Walgreen's in Jackson as well. The Madison Police Department issued the following press release. 

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For those who are about to run, we salute you.

Chokwe Antar Lumumba, Jr. and Robert Graham are announcing they will run for the Captain of the Ti... oops, I meant Mayor of Jackson today.   Let the silly season begin.  Feel free to comment on the Mayor's race here and vote in the poll posted on the right. 

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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Burton arrested for second-offense DUI

Mississippi State Senate President Pro-Tem Terry Burton (R- Whiskey River) was arrested Thursday night on I-20 in Scott County for a second offense DUI.  The police report and mug shots are posted below.

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Sanders speaks: KKK gives guns to blacks so they will kill each other.

You can't make this up.  See Enoch Sanders in action yesterday at the regular meeting of the Jackson City Council.

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Are Cleveland schools already integrated?

The Mississippi Democratic Party issued the following statement on the Cleveland Municipal School District "Desegregation" opinion:

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Dr. Wright reverses

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following statement this morning:

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Rick Cleveland: Where is the ball?

Legendary high school football coach Ed Reed won several championships in Mississippi and several more in Alabama. He won at small schools such as Rolling Fork and large ones such as Jackson Provine and Tuscaloosa Central.

Reed won in an eccentric river town (Natchez), in the Piney Woods of Lumberton and at Picayune. He won before integration and he won after it.

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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Senator defends budget "cuts"

Senate Appropriations Chairman Buck Clarke (R-Who Cares) issued the following statement about the "cuts" to the Mississippi Department of Mental Health:

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Attempted gun robbery at Walmart

The Clinton Police Department issued the following press release:

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No comment.

Sad but true video.  Four years old but seems like it was made today. 

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JPD & HCSO have a Pimp & Ho party

JPD issued the following press release & mug shots:

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Superintendent responds to "misinformation" on raises

Mississippi Department of Education Superintendent Dr. Carey Wright issued the following press release in response to this JJ story posted yesterday:

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Monday, May 16, 2016

Yes, it's been 30 years.

One of the best movie intro's ever!!!

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The latest Bar sanctions

The Mississippi Bar announced the following disciplinary actions in the Winter 2016 and Summer 2015 issues of  the Mississippi Lawyer. No disciplinary actions were published in the Fall 2015 issue.

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Suits gonna suit. Want a raise, go to MDE.

Dr. Carey Wright passed out raises by the bushel to MDE employees over the last two years.  The legislature gave MDE a two-year exemption from State Personnel Board policies in 2014 so Dr. Wright could cut costs and streamline the agency.  Dr. Wright used the exemption to give 331 salary increases to 247 employees. The salaries increases are posted below.   MDE asked the legislature to extend the exemption for another year.  The legislature passed the extension (HB #199) but Governor Phil Bryant vetoed the bill.  He cited the widespread salary increases as the main reason for his veto.

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New JPD class begins training

JPD issued the following press release:

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Sunday, May 15, 2016

Meanwhile, Stamps wants to go behind closed doors

Jackson City Councilman Dekeither Stamps supports transparency in government but he really, really thinks that all of these budget fights in front of the people are a bad thing and should be held behind closed doors.  Mr. Stamps said Thursday at the meeting of the Jackson city council that the budget discussion should be held in executive session.  See for yourself:

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Consultants to Jackson: Freeze, cut, & collect

Consultants Michael Thomas and Rick Hill presented a preliminary plan to cut costs and whip the city of Jackson's finances into shape at a meeting of the city council last Thursday.  Freezing, reviewing, and collecting were the buzzwords thrown around at the meeting as the city addressed its budget crisis.  The Yarber administration told the city council at the same meeting that several million dollars had been withdrawn from the reserve fund to balance the budget. Mr. Thomas is president of Systems Consultants.  Mr. Hill is the former Chief Financial Officer for the city.

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About that Target boycott

Target's stock price fell over 9% in the last month.  Breitbart and the American Family Association are crowing that this decline is due to a boycott by consumers over the company's bathroom policy.  However, this one picture will show that the boycott has had almost no effect on the company's stock price:

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Saturday, May 14, 2016

Preparing for takeoff

Who says all good things must end? A group of men are restoring the ultimate toy: a B-29 Superfortress that has not flown since 1956.  See what they did.

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Wall Street Journal slams Ridgeland

Today's Wall Street Journal editorial chastised Ridgeland for violating the property rights of apartment owners:

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Friday, May 13, 2016

MDE caves to feds on bathrooms

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following press release:

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Hood refuses to say "illegal alien"

Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release:

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Jackson + budget deficit = meat cleaver

Mayor Tony Yarber and the Jackson City Council held a spirited discussion over the budget and reserve fund yesterday.   Interim Director of Administration Michelle Battee-Day told the council that the city was forced to use the reserve fund to balance the budget last year and this year. However, an ordinance requires the city to maintain a reserve fund that is 7.5% of the budget. The repeated dipping into the reserve fund will reduce the balance to only $1.3 million later this year when it should be $9 million. 

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FBI issues warning on laser strikes

The FBI issued the following press release:

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Thursday, May 12, 2016

Third grade reading scores improve.

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following press release posted below.  Third grade reading scores improved from last year as more students passed the "reading-gate" tests.

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Laurel Street Park holdup

Two young black males stole a car from a woman at Laurel Park around noon today.  The victim was sitting at the park with her friend when two young black males approached and began speaking to them.  The two yewts left, returned to talk to them, and left again.  They returned yet again and stuck something (might have been a finger covered by something) in the woman's back and said told her to give up the car keys or else.  The two hoodlums left in her Red Kia.  The car has a Maryland license plate.

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Make this part of the Dixie National Rodeo

This old video shows how to catch a thief.  Perhaps the Dixie National Rodeo should add a new category.  One can only imagine the ticket sales for such an event.

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MDA to Costco developers: The rules are the rules.

 A deal is a deal and we are sticking to it.  So said the Mississippi Development Authority to developer Andrew Mattiace. Mr. Mattiace asked MDA to modify its approval of a $30 million sales tax rebate for his Renaissance at Colony Park project in Ridgeland. Mr. Mattiace is attempting to build a Costco at the site amid opposition from nearby residents.  

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Dupes!!!

OHMIGOSH!!! The State is going to take over Jackson. STOPTHEMADNESS!!!!!!! STOP THE PRESSES!!! STOPITALL!!!  Give Sam Hall a beta blocker cocktail before he has his second meltdown in a month.  The local media breathlessly "reported" on State Representative Mark Baker's "plan" to write a bill that will have the state take over Jackson.  There is just one problem: There is no plan nor is there a bill.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Put this guy in charge of the Jackson budget.



This post is a public service announcement.

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Fund-raiser for Judge Hannan



This post is a paid advertisement.

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Watch the Muni Melee

Here is the video of the Jackson City Council and the Mayor's office going at it Monday.  The WMPR crowd is probably going to enjoy this a little too much as the city council kept demanding financial information and Deputy Administrator Marshand Crisler kept refusing to provide the information. 

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Is Jackson broke?

The Jackson City Council and Mayor's office sparred Monday over whether the city is operating at a deficit with little reserves.  Anna Wolfe reported in the Clarion-Ledger yesterday (in a story that was buried on page three) :

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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Uncle Sam wants you

I came across this vintage U.S. Navy re-enlistment video. This video would probably have a tough time being produced in today's Navy. 

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The $56.8 million error

Speaker of the House Philip Gunn and Leftenant Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement:

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Snapshot: JPS finances

JPS leaders have been warning that budget cuts are a "crisis" for the district.  They of course plead for more money and a complicit media accepts their complaints as gospel.  JJ took a step away from the pack and examined the annual audits submitted to the State Auditor since 2005.  Take a look at the pictures told by JPS's own numbers.   

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Lock & load. Northtown homicide suspect on loose.

JPD issued the following press release and mugshot:

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Here today, gone tomorrow: Drug bust

Hinds County Deputies arrested eight people in a drug bust on December 10, 2013 and charged them with possession of marijuana with the intent to distribute while in possession of a firearm.  The charge is a felony.  However, none of the suspects were indicted.  WLBT reported on that day:

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Monday, May 9, 2016

WSJ: Stores that don't use the chip will eat the fraud

Business owners who haven't started accepting chip cards might want to think about doing so as the bill for fraudulent transactions shifts from the banks to the merchants.  The Wall Street Journal reported today:

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Mitchell crusading or muckracking?

Jerry Mitchell has apparently made crazy sentences in Mississippi his latest crusade.  The Clarion-Ledger published stories by Mr. Mitchell on the front page of its last two Sunday editions.  Both stories covered Rankin County justice in extreme cases.  One story was about a killer who only served four years while the other is about a young man who agreed to serve 50 year as part of a plea bargain if he pled guilty to several counts of burglary.

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4 arrested in Noble Street murder.

JPD issued the following statement and mug shots in the Noble Street homicide.  Two of the suspects are under the age of eighteen years old.

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No comment

The boys and girls over at Fark decided to have some fun at Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber's expense.  Read for yourself.

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Sunday, May 8, 2016

Silver alert in Madison

The Mississippi Department of Public Safety issued the following statement:

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JPS needs mo' money.

Here we go again.  Jackson Public Schools Superintendent Cedrick Gray went complaining to the Clarion-Ledger that JPS is about to crash due to budget cuts.  The newspaper dutifully complied with his histrionics by penning the headline "JPS in financial crisis, superintendent says" to the story.  Unfortunately for the readers, the reporter took every word spoken by the education guru as gospel and didn't challenge him anywhere in the press release, oops, make that article.

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The Cruz collapse

You're ridin' high in April, shot down in May.  That line from That's Life perfectly describes the implosion of the Ted Cruz campaign last week.  Fred Barnes dissects the Senator's presidential campaign in The Weekly Standard and makes some interesting points:

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Happy Mother's Day.


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Saturday, May 7, 2016

SEC investigating Kemper

Watchdog.org reported the SEC is investigating the Kemper project:

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Friday, May 6, 2016

Parchman on lockdown

The Mississippi Department of Corrections issued the following press release.

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JPD catches carjacker

JPD issued the following press release and mug shot.

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Meet the beers of Slowboat


Check out the beers of Slowboat Brewing Company below and where you can get them.

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Rollins goes to MDOC for his birthday

The streets of Jackson will be safe from John Rollins for a few years.  Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill removed the "suspended" part of a three and a half year suspended sentence on Rollings and returned him back to the custody of MDOC.  Rollins was arrested for stealing a vehicle belonging to Tara Coxwell right in front of her in March.  Rollins had a string of arrests, convictions, probations, suspended sentences, and even a probation revocation since 2010.  Rollins' problems with the law apparently had no effect on the hoodlum as he smiled at times throughout the hearing.

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Eat at your own risk?

Budget cuts mean Mississippi restaurants will be inspected less and less.  Food Safety News reported:

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Forest Hill fights

JJ obtained the videos of the fights that took place earlier this week at Forest Hill High School and posted them below.  See for yourself the mayhem that broke out at the high school.

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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Madison County Court Judge gunning for Court of Appeals

Madison County Court Judge Ed Hannan issued the following press release:

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Forest Hill Fight Club

So several brawls break out at Forest Hill High School yesterday, a mother walks onto campus and brandishes a pistol, and no one wants to give the full story of what exactly took place? WAPT reported:

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Editorial: Jackson City Council moves in the right direction.

What a shocker.  Jackson City Council President Melvin Priester split the public comments section of the city council meetings.  The council will hear comments that are related to the meeting's agenda while the other comments are heard after the agenda is concluded. 

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Craigslist truck thief arrested

The Clinton Police Department issued the following press release:

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Governor signs airport takeover bill

 Read collection of posts about Jackson airport and its history.

Governor Phil Bryant signed the airport takeover bill yesterday.

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Is Thad running again?

Is Thad gearing up for another re-election effort or raising money for the farewell tour?

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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Clinton PD nabs two bizburglars

The Clinton Police Department issued the following statement:

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Governor Bryant backs Trump

Gov. Phil Bryant released the following statement after Sen. Ted Cruz suspended his presidential campaign:

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All those fancy projects cost Pearl money but bring no money.

Pearl Mayor Brad Rogers reacted very strongly to a Bloomberg story that claimed bond deals for Trustmark Park and the Basspro store were wrecking city finances.  Pearl sold $78 million in revenue bonds to pay for the projects.  However, those payments are causing problems for Pearl with ratings agencies such as Moody's.

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Rick Cleveland: schools can still host NCAA tourneys

Yes, the NCAA has passed new legislation that sounds as if it would prevent Mississippi schools from hosting NCAA baseball regionals and first and second round NCAA Women's basketball regionals.

No, the new legislation will not affect who hosts baseball regionals this spring. It doesn't go into effect until the next school year.

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Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Priester denies bond for Rollins

Hinds County Court Judge Melvin Priester, Sr., denied bond for John Gregory Rollins yesterday and bound him over to the grand jury.  Rollins stole a car in March and fled from police.  JPD charged him with auto theft and felony fleeing.  Judge Priester denied bond since he was free on bail for another felony when arrested.  Rollins was also indicted  in April for stealing another car in May 2015.  It's John Rollins.  He is a career criminal.  It's what he does.  The victim, Tara Coxwell, posted this message on Facebook after he stole her car:

Click Here to Read More..

Hood blisters legislature

Attorney General Jim Hood submitted the following column to JJ.

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Thief of the week

Check out this Brandon thief who may be a future candidate for a Darwin award:

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, May 2, 2016

Losing sludge removal bidder says it has lowest & best bid

Sludge of Our Lives, As the Sludge Turns. The soap opera that is the awarding of a contract to remove Jackson's biosolid wastes featured another episode last week, as a company protested that the Yarber administration selected a bid from a company that was a more expensive bid with less minority participation.

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Mayhem

Ok, does everyone know the  Allstate commercial "Streaker Mayhem" was a joke?

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Former tenant sues The Park at Moss Creek for carjacking.

The Park at Moss Creek Apartments have apparently suffered from a crime problem during the past few years.  A man was arrested for kidnapping, rape, and armed robbery in several attacks at the Northeast Jackson apartment complex.  However, a lawsuit was filed a year ago by a woman who was carjacked there as well in 2013.  She claimed the owners of the complex, Arlington Properties, did not keep the The Park safe after it was repeatedly notified by tenants about crime problems.

Click Here to Read More..

School ratings delayed nine months, MDE rolls out computer coding classes for kids.

The Mississippi Department of Education will issue the annual district and school ratings in June.  The ratings are normally posted in the beginning of September each year but were delayed for nine months when the department had to move to a different location due to a fire at an adjacent building last year.  MDE told JJ this morning that the 2015-2016 ratings will probably be issued in October and thus closer to the original schedule.  The third grade "reading gate" test results will be released when the Board of Education meets on May 12.  Meanwhile, MDE is rolling out a pilot computer science program for students that will include coding programs in elementary schools.  MDE issued the following press release last week:

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Kidnapper arraigned.

Andre Kennedy was arraigned on April 21 after he was indicted on February 26 for the May 2015 kidnapping and armed robbery of a Northeast Jackson doctor.  The doctor managed to escape and kill Kennedy's alleged partner Edwin "Guttalife Dee" Robinson.

Click Here to Read More..

Here we go again: JPS edition.

WLBT reported that JPS Superintendent Dr. Cedrick Gray was complaining about a half-million dollar cut to the JPS budget in the middle of the fiscal year:

Click Here to Read More..


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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