Saturday, July 18, 2009

Happy Anniversary.



















Yesterday was the one year anniversay of when I got Louis XIV, this Blenheim Cavalier King Charles Spaniel you see in the photos. He is spoiled rotten of course and has even been on WAPT. Great dog and got spoiled last night: steak and ice cream treats. Read more!

Food Fight on CNBC



Schiff tries to tell truth, they try to beat him up for saying it. Read more!

Eruption
















Erupting Volcano Anak Krakatau
Credit & Copyright: Marco Fulle (Stromboli Online)
Read more!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Brickbat to JFP and the rest of the media.

Jim Craig and Matt Eichelberger's blog, Ipse Blogit, broke the story about Chip Pickering's wife filing an alienation of affection lawsuit yesterday. Mr. Eichelberger explained later he was in court, happened upon the hearing, and dug up the file, later posting it. There is no question he broke the story and since he was the one who was in the courtroom, it IS original work, not just trolling through public records as some will claim (although he should've tried to grab one of the lawyers for a quote).

NOT ONE SINGLE media outlet gave IB credit for the scoop yesterday but instead ripped him off. I'm singling out the JFP because they have made the most (and only) noise about this issue. Remember this?

"Well, they'd better not plagiarize Adam and not say where they got the story from. This one will be a good test of the ethics of our local media. Will they, or won't they?posted by ladd on 09/01/06 at 10:53 PM"

"It's truly bad form not to give credit where it's due. We do it all the time. They've done better by us in the past, but I guess they couldn't resist trying to own this one themselves. That's too bad. posted by ladd on 09/01/06 at 11:20 PM"

"Here's a hint, insidestory: When someone else reports a story first, just say, "As reported on the Jackson Free Press Web site this afternoon ... ." It's simple. We do it all the time. posted by ladd on 09/01/06 at 11:39 PM"

The media should credit Ipse Blogit for the scoop. period. Read more!

WATCH!



Beck nails it yesterday about Goldman Sachs. I can assure you from my own reading he has his facts straight and its about time the media started laying it out as he does for the American people. The Obamabots who think they voted for change just voted for more of the same: a Goldman Sachs takeover of the government. One fact Beck does leave out is that it was a Paulson-led Goldman Sachs which led the effort to remove the leverage limits from firms such as Merrill Lynch, Lehman, Goldman, and Fannie, thus creating this meltdown. Read more!

Belhaven crime update.

Update: Compare this post to the story in the Clarion-Ledger

This is an excerpt from an email sent out to members of Greater Belhaven this week after a meeting was held at the college about security:
"JPD command staff, detectives, and officers in attendance reported that JPD is actively looking for an individual who is believed to be responsible for several recent home invasion crimes in Northeast Jackson and Belhaven.

"The individual is described as an African-American man, about 25 to 35 years old. He is 5'8" to 5'10" tall and about 170 to 180 pounds, with a medium complexion and a clean-shaven appearance. He may be driving a gray PT Cruiser or a white sedan believed to be a Pontiac Grand Prix or Grand Am. He has typically approached homes where a woman is home either alone or with children, and knocked on a garage door or front door, asking to use the phone because his car is broken down. If the homeowner does not let him in, he has broken in to the home and stolen jewelry and other valuables. He has not been seen to be carrying a gun but has used a knife. If you have any information about this person, or see him or these cars, JPD encourages you to contact them either using 911 or by calling 601-960-1234. Also, be aware of suspicious individuals in your neighborhood and approaching your home
.....

Precinct 4 Commander Ken Goodrum and JPD staff encouraged neighbors to call whenever you see something suspicious, whether regarding this suspect or anything else. They also reported that they have leads on three suspects who are believed to be responsible for car break-ins in the Greater Belhaven area; they encouraged neighbors to be sure that no valuables are left in cars and to lock your car and use an alarm. Many recent car break-ins have been because something attractive (purse, camera, electronics) was left visible in the car. Despite these recent events, Cmdr. Goodrum said that crime is down 10.8% over last year in Precinct 4 and it is the safest precinct in the City." Read more!

The controversy about Chip

is pointless without pics. Read more!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Karen Irby Previously Arrested for DUI and Reckless Driving

Karen Irby's indictment for depraved heart murder and aggravated assault was not her first brush with the law. Court records show she was arrested for DUI-1st offense and Reckless Driving over ten years ago in Rankin County.

Reservoir Patrol Officer Wes Flynt stopped Mrs. Irby (then Ms. Collins) in her BMW on Spillway Road at 2:20 AM on December 28, 1997. Flynt wrote on the ticket for reckless driving she was driving 70 mph in a 45 mph zone and that she "stated (she was) in a hurry".

Mrs. Irby was convicted of all charges in Rankin County Justice Court on Febuary 23, 1998. Judge Ken Warren fined her $500 and a special assessment of $202 for the DUI conviction, as well as a $100 fine and a special assessment of $51 for the reckless driving charge.

Mrs. Irby immediately appealed her conviction to the Rankin County Court. Judge Kent McDaniel granted the prosecution's motion of Nolle Prosequi on June 24, 1998, thus dismissing the case. Mrs. Irby was represented by attorney Dan Duggan.

One must wonder why the prosecution dropped the case when it had already obtained a conviction in a lower court. There is a possible explanation, one that is not too flattering to say the least. Ms. Collins was dating someone at the time who just happened to be the bachelor son of a former Rankin County Sheriff. Given Rankin County's reputation for shenanigans in the courtroom (See the Berry v. Aetna post), it would not surprise anyone if such connections played a part in the prosecutor's decision to drop the case. Regardless of why the prosecution requested the dismissal, the fact remains Mrs. Irby was convicted in a court of law for a DUI and speeding more than 20 miles over the speed limit, even though it was struck down by a higher court that never addressed the merits of the case.

It should also be noted Mrs. Irby was also found guilty on June 17, 1998 of the charge of Disorderly Conduct. Judge McDaniel fined her $1000 but suspended payment of $500 provided she did not get arrested again for one year.

Note: By the way, this post shows that once again, Jimmie Gates displayed his knack for getting basic facts wrong on this case. He wrote in the Clarion-Ledger: "Karen Irby has no prior criminal history, according to police and court records in Hinds County." Do I need to say it?

Copy of DUI & Reckless Driving case
Copy of Disorderly Conduct Case
Read more!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Come see Beatrice Thursday night at The Auditorium




Swedish Sensation BEATRICE in Jackson Thursday Night

The Peavey Stage at The Auditorium in Jackson, Mississippi will take an international turn Thursday night July 16th when it welcomes Swedish Sensation – Beatrice. A well known artist on the Scandinavian music scene, Beatrice brings her unique blend of country, Mississippi blues, folk and gospel to every performance.

Born and raised in Stockholm, Sweden, Beatrice has been an entertainer since she was a little girl. Formally trained at the Stockholm Music Conservatory, her singing roots trace back to the days when her mother would play the piano and Beatrice would join. Exposure to Elvis Presley church hymns took Beatrice in a whole different direction both professional and inspirationally. Beatrice acquired a great respect for Mississippi born musicians and became inspired by the blues sounds of Howlin Wolf & Muddy Waters and the country tunes of Charlie Pride, Paul Overstreet, Faith Hill, Tammy Wynette, and LeAnne Rimes.

Dynamic, electrifying and exciting are only a few words to describe each of Beatrice’s performances. The Auditorium and The Peavey Stage are proud to welcome this world renowned sensation to Mississippi.

The show begins at 9:18 p.m. Limited tickets are available for this one night only performance and can be purchased at The Auditorium. For more information on this event visit www.theauditoriumrestaurant.com or call 601-982-0002. You can listen to samples of Beatrice’s music by going to www.beatricemusic.com.

Clips of her music Read more!

Cajuns and Onstar

Read more!

Mish: 7 years until housing prices reach bottom

I know I pimp Karl Denninger's Market Ticker here all the time but here is the other guy I read every day: Mish. This column by him on the housing market is a great reason why he should be on your daily reading and another reason why CNBC is having a meltdown over financial bloggers. Mish writes (as Meredith Whitney, Denninger, PMI, and even I have said) the housing market is nowhere close to bottom:
"Housing prices are now one notch closer to their final destination. The US Timeline scale is compressed. At the current pace, housing will bottom in about 7 years....
The Case-Shiller charts suggest that the worst may finally be over. However, so far all we can say is that things are getting worse at a decreasing pace. This is not the same as getting better. Indeed it may take 2 years or more to cross the zero-line in the second Case-Shiller chart. That would be consistent with a bottom in 2011.
Thus I see no reason to switch from my long-held estimate of a 2011-2012 timeframe for a bottom. Furthermore, even once housing does bottom, do not expect a V shaped recovery. Housing prices are likely to remain weak especially in real (inflation adjusted) terms for another decade..." Mish's column Read more!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Goldman sticking it to us again

CNBC's Gasparino calls out Goldman Sachs and it's worth watching. He starts discussing GS in the first video at the 2:00 mark.




Goldman sends him a nasty email and he has this to say:



Translation: The Fed Discount Window is a taxpayer-funded ATM that bankrolls Goldman's bets and trading, which Goldman should not be doing as a bank.

Note: If videos don't appear, switch to IE
. Read more!

Bennie takes some heat for going to the beach

Earlier post: Bennie lives it up in Carribean, Citi pays for it

Roll Call is reporting the House Ethics Committee opened an investigation into Bennie Thompson and several other Congressmen:

"The Office of Congressional Ethics reported Monday that it has recommended the House ethics panel open five investigations — which focus on trips to the Caribbean by members of the Congressional Black Caucus, according to the ethics committee.

This marks the first time that the panel has made recommendations since the House voted to establish the quasi-independent ethics watchdog in early 2008.

Although the OCE status report does not detail the recommendations, the Committee on Standards of Official Conduct confirmed the proposed investigations concerned five Members who attended privately sponsored trips to the Caribbean in 2007 and 2008…

The ethics panel announced in late June that an investigative subcommittee will evaluate whether the Members who attended the Caribbean trips, sponsored by the New York-based Carib News Foundation, violated House gift rules.

“While the committee was investigating the Carib News matter already, there were OCE referrals related to five Members. Those Members were named in the [June 25] statement,” said Blake Chisam, ethics committee staff director and chief counsel.

That statement listed Democratic Reps. Charlie Rangel (N.Y.), Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick (Mich.), Bennie Thompson (Miss.) and Donald Payne (N.J.) as well as Del. Donna Christensen (D-Virgin Islands)."

Read more!

Open letter to Little League parents

Enjoy Read more!

Last week's crime stats

Crime stats for June 29-July 5 Read more!

Fading away?

By now, everyone has probably heard about the last round of layoffs at the Clarion-Ledger. 20 were released and unfortunately for them, Gannett changed the terms of the severance package from those provided in previous rounds. Previous severance packages gave the employees one weeks' pay for each year of service and covered COBRA. The current deal is a cookie cutter one-size-fits-all: they all get the same package regardless of time of service: they cover the difference between state unemployment and salary. Health benefits are not covered. There is also a thread about the layoffs on Gannettoid.com.

Unfortunately for the local newspaper, Gannett is running it into the ground with poor business decisions while a weak economy and changing environment deprive it of much-needed revenue. Even if the newspaper were profitable, Gannet will suck every dollar it can out of its balance sheet. There are many good people at the Clarion-Ledger and our hearts go out to those who must now look elsewhere for employment. Read more!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Whitney: 13% unemployment




Meredith Whitney says financials will rise in the short term but in the long term the economy will get worse and unemployment will top 13%. Karl Denninger over at the Market Ticker strongly disagrees in this post.

If you can't see video, switch to IE. There is something about the CNBC code in Blogger when trying to view in Firefox which makes the video disappear. There was a section of code pushing the video waaaaay down the page. Took it out and in IE it appears normally, but not at all in FF. Sorry. Read more!

Bluntson trying to pay off bond lawyers

You won't believe this but remember Jackson's proposed $95 million interest rate swap for its 2002 and 2004 municipal bonds that died recently? Remember the $4 million in fees ($60,000 to Sarah O'Reilly-Evans, $60,000 to Anthony Simon, $120,000 to Baker Donelson, and $476,000 to Robert Smith Jr.'s firm, Sterne Agee) that were to be paid?

Apparently the City and the City Council are discussing whether the lawyers should still be paid even though the deal is dead. There is a resolution on the agenda for Thursday's meeting of the City Council:

"21. RESOLUTION authorizing and encouraging the payment of all legal fees related
to the SWAP for the Water and Sewer System Revenue Bonds, Series 2002 and
the Water and Sewer System Revenue and Revenue Refunding Bonds, Series
2004 (Bluntson, Stokes)
" Agenda

Considering the deal was never actually DONE much less closed, they should not be paid anything. Read more!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Believe it or not.............



our own government produced this video. Read more!

Jackson mortgage broker, Bo Barry, sentenced Friday

Former Jackson mortgage broker Bryan "Bo" Barry was sentenced in U.S. District Court Friday according to PACER: "Minute Entry for proceedings held before District Judge Daniel P. Jordan III:Sentencing held on 7/10/2009 for Bryan Barry (1), Count(s) 1&2. Defendant sentenced to 5 yrs supervised probation on each count to run concurrently, 6 mos. home confinement, $36,473.05 restitution, and $200.00 special assessment."

Count I was "Conspiracy to commit mail fraud and/or wire fraud". Count II was "Fraud by wire, radio, or television". Mr. Barry was forced to use a federal public defender after local attorney Robert Louis Williamson withdrew from the case and Mr. Barry met the financial requirements for qualiflying for the the use of a public defender. The case number is "3:07-cr-00102-DPJ-LRA".

Copy of indictment Read more!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Bored?

Nothing like jumping out of an airplane on a day like today. Brings back some memories. Slam Dunks. Suspended Agony. Black Hats.



Read more!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Showing the CoCC the door

Recently a Republican State Senator spoke to a national meeting of the Council of Conservative Citizens in Jackson, MS. Some local liberals as well as the local progressive weekly alternative rag sharply criticized her for speaking at the event and the state Republican party chairman for not more forcefully condemning her actions. Since I and many others don't know much about the Council of Conservative Citizens, I decided to check out their website. Buckle your seatbelts.

(picture used on Alabama Chapter's website)

On the national organization's website, six of the nine "stories" posted are about race-related matters. For a group that touts itself as a leading conservative organization, there is no mention of taxes, deficit spending, expanding government, the erosion of civil liberties but there are more than a few words given to what blacks are doing to whites.

The blogs make for interesting reading. One accuses New York of "declaring war on white people". It blames the train operator's falling asleep causing the train wreck in Washington, DC on "diversity hiring", never mind that DC is heavily minority in population (Someone should tell him that in DC, hiring a white person would be the diversity hire.). He also mentions blacks robbing graves in Chicago.

Then there is the anti-Semitism. The same blogger refers to an L.A. Times article about Michael Jackson as a "piece of Jewish garbage" and opines about Steve McNair's death:
"McNair may have been a decent guy, but nothing can hide the obvious truth that wherever blacks go, crime, death, and misery follow. The sports channels will recount all McNair’s stats as they lionize him as a hero and great American. I’ll certainly rank him well above Michael Jackson, but let’s not get carried away. Could you imagine the howls of laughter if the sports TV Jews like Chris Berman, Rich Eisen, Linda Cohn, (the list could go on and on)"

Christians don't escape their ire as the Family Research Council, attacked by liberals everywhere for being conservative in nature, apparently doesn't meet his definition of conservatism:
"Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council, and the evangelical’s man in DC, recently held a rally in the nation’s capital to oppose same-sex marriage. There were several speakers at the rally -- Perkins, the FRC’s Uncle Tom “Bishop” Harry Jackson, some brown guys who can’t speak English, etc...". He even bashes Billy Graham. You got it. Even Billy Graham is the enemy.

Other money quotes from this blogger:
"The sooner the GOP collapses, and is replaced by a party that will speak up for white people, the better."

"Anyone who thinks free speech can survive in a multiracial America is dreaming."

Another blog on the website has the headline "Saving the White Race" and has a few things to say:
"The civility in this Forced Union is 3000 miles wide, but only an inch deep. And anytime you come into contact with murderous negros or other non-Whites, that civility has collapsed." So murderous whites don't cause a collapse in civility? Oooook.

Over at the Alabama chapter's website there is a post titled "Stuff black people don't like" with the above picture and a link to a website containing black jokes. The chapter has a list of "recommended reading". Here is a taste of the vintage found in this winery of racism:

  • The Citizens’ Council: Organized Resistance to the Second Reconstruction, 1954-64″ by Neil R. McMillan
  • You and Segregation” by former Georgia Sen. Herman E. Talmadge
  • Mississippi’s Defiant Years, 1953-73″ by Erle Johnston
  • The Authentic History of the Ku Klux Klan, 1865-1877″ by Susan Davis
  • Take Your Choice: Separation or Mongrelization” by former Mississippi Sen. Theodore Bilbo
This organization is not a conservative group as conservatives believe in a limited government that is color-blind, free-market capitalism, strong national defense, and civil liberties for all. Racism has no place in conservatism or the Republican Party. Mississippi Republicans have NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER speaking at one of these events and the chairman needs to condemn this group in no uncertain terms as racism and anti-Semitism have no place in the Republican big tent.

Chairman Brad White should forbid any Republican from speaking at one of these events. A group like this shouldn't get the attention it has recently as it is a fringe group but since a Republican State Senator decided to welcome them, the onus is on the Republican Party to show these guys the door and make it clear the Council is not welcome to Republicans or true conservatives. William F. Buckley and others threw out the Birchers when it became clear the Birchers were not true conservatives. Mr. White, Governor Barbour, and others should do the same and show the Council of Conservative Citizens the door. Read more!

Jena 6 Update

Looks like the apples didn't fall too far from the tree where the Jena 6 is concerned, as the sister and outspoken defender of the troubled lads just got arrested for being part of a very large drug operation:
"JENA — LaSalle Parish Sheriff Scott Franklin stood before a group of more than 150 law enforcement officers from at least 10 different agencies early Thursday morning, July 9, getting them ready for their day’s mission – Operation Third Option.
“We’re going into neighborhoods that are being controlled by drug dealers,” Franklin said. “I want to give them back their neighborhoods and return to them a safer neighborhood.”
Operation Third Option targeted a high-level drug trafficker and money launderer, those in the man’s drug ring and other lower-level dealers, police said. ....
A dozen arrests were made Thursday, and more than 20 more are expected as part of the investigation.....
The others arrested during the first strike of the operation were Adrian Carlinsky Richardson, 34, Michael D. Patterson Sr., 34, and Catrina Lynette Wallace, 29. All three are from Jena..... Wallace three counts of distribution of cocaine, according to police.
Wallace is the stepsister of Robert Bailey Jr., one of the “Jena Six” who recently pleaded no contest in connection with the 2006 attack on then-classmate Justin Barker at Jena High School. Wallace was outspoken during rallies in the community, helped organize a benefit concert to raise money for the Jena Six teens and was at one point the secretary of the local National Association for the Advancement of Colored People chapter." The REST of the story

Oh yes, the Jena 6 recently pleaded no contest to beating Justin Barker to a pulp. Read more!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Hollywood Royalty

Read more!

Some guys have all the luck (NSFW)


It's no secret that here at Jackson Jambalaya, women are held in high regard. JJ, after all, IS the home of the "Hottest Reporter in Jackson Poll", the "Hottest Defendant in Mississippi Poll", as well as posts every so often paying homage to beautiful women from all walks of life. Apparently one of our local residents, who is somewhat known, made it to a party at the Playboy Mansion (with his wife, no accusations of anything immoral or unethical are being made here). While there are some who undoubtedly will get their panties in a wad over said excursion, such will not be the case here, as he gets major props, as I've enjoyed an occasional costume party at Mardi Gras.

As for the Kingfish and the JJ nation, we think he achieved the pinnacle (without any TIF's or Ben Allen's help): he got to hang out with Hef. He's earned JJ's admiration for doing something many of us only dream of. Kudos to our new friend for achieving greatness and setting a new standard for the guidos and rednecks everywhere to follow. If anyone says otherwise, they are just jealous. Read more!

Taking a stroll down memory lane



Read more!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Mark Bolton passed away.

Former Clarion-Ledger cartoonist Mark Bolton passed away on July 2, 2009.

Online guestbook Read more!

Oops

Over at the Jackson Free Press:
"
The June 2009 issue of the "Mississippi Economic Review and Outlook," a monthly report authored by Marianne Hill, senior economist for the Institutions of Higher Learning, says the state's recovery from the current recession will be slow. Hill predicts that it will be 2014 before employment rates are back down to where they were in 2000
" (The statement was not Hill's but the JFP's.)

Um, don't you mean unemployment rates? Read more!

So if it's not reported, did it not happen?

A little wino told me an interesting fact. The National Traffic Safety Administration requires law enforcement to report all traffic fatalities to the federal agency. Anyone want to guess which wreck that caused two deaths in the last few months was not reported to NTSA by JPD? They are supposed to report fatalities to NTSA within a short time (by that I mean a few days) after they occur. Wonder how Lee will explain this one since Mac has left him holding the bag. Read more!

Windpower: nothing but hot air

The American Thinker makes a good case against windpower in a way which will not make T. Boone Pickens too happy:
"A typical large wind-driven turbine is rated at about 1,500 kilowatts. It's 350 feet tall and has a fan blade of about 240 feet in diameter. It will actually deliver about 375 kilowatts. It can power about 375 microwave ovens, or 6250 60-watt light bulbs simultaneously (only when the wind is blowing at about 25 miles per hour, which is a very strong wind). An average (1 gigawatt) power plant can power nearly a million microwaves, or 16 million light bulbs at the same time.
A power plant near me produces 1,100,000 kilowatts (1.1 gigawatts) of power. At a 25% capacity factor it would take nearly 2600 large wind turbines to produce the same power as this nuclear power plant. And this is not a particularly large plant.
If you placed these 2600 wind turbines the recommended 5 rotor-blade diameters apart, they would stretch for 600 miles. That's as far as the distance from Michigan to Georgia. In practice wind turbines are not placed single file, they are placed in several rows, like crops, in what are called wind farms, but you get the idea.
The amount of electricity generated by a wind turbine is proportional to the wind speed to the 3rd power (a 20 MPH wind will produce 8 times as much energy as a 10 MPH wind). Therefore wind turbines often produce energy in bursts; when the wind gusts, the energy output spikes, when the wind dies down, energy output dips.
Unfortunately, there is no easy way to store these bursts of energy for later use. There are no batteries large enough that are also practical, and pumped-storage systems, which use unwanted energy to pump water into an aboveground reservoir for later use in turning a water-driven generator, require a large body of water
."
Column Read more!

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

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This is SOOOO Banned!

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.