Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Blinded Reporting: The Cleveland "desegregation" case.

Here we go again. Clarion-Ledger reporter Jimmie Gates just can't seem to tell the truth about the Cleveland "desegregation" case.  Mr. Gates opined in a Sunday Clarion-Ledger column that Cleveland schools should "desegregate" and get along with "other races".  Mr. Gates wrote:

One of my co-workers thought the headline saying the Cleveland School District was ordered to desegregate schools was a misprint.

It was ironic that almost 62 years to the day since the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Brown v. the Board of Education, a federal judge ordered the 12,300-population Cleveland to consolidate its two middle schools and its two highs schools. One middle school and one high school are majority black while the other middle and high school are majority white.

There has been an ongoing federal case for about 50 years for Cleveland to integrate its schools. U.S. District Judge Debra Brown, the first African-American woman appointed a U.S. District judge in Mississippi, said in her 96-page opinion that “the delay in desegregation has deprived generations of students of the constitutionally guaranteed right of an integrated education.”
Nothing much in that passage. However, keep reading.
 
About 34 percent of the roughly 3,700-student Cleveland School District is white with black students accounting for about 60 percent.

The problem the U.S. Justice Department and Judge Brown see is that mostly white students go to one high school and one middle school while black students go to the other high school and middle school.
 Really? Is this guy capable of doing research?  The Mississippi Department of Education provides demographic information on all schools.  Mr. Gates should check it out sometime.  Here is the actual data for the 2015-2016 school year:


Mr. Gates didn't even the basic numbers he published right.  67% Black, 29% White is not 60% and 30% unless one is using Gannett math.  What Mr. Gates does not do is tell the readers what the racial statistics for the actual schools are.  It might ruin this narrative of his column:
 
I’m not here to castigate the Cleveland School District, but I’m here to say when we don’t interact with other races and cultures, we are hurting ourselves. Our young people will grow up, and unless we plan to keep them in their own little  world, they will have to interact on the job or in other settings with people who may look and act different than they do.

We live in a multicultural society; that means we are going to interact with others of different races and ethnicities.

It’s like when you are rooting for your athletic team. It doesn’t matter the players’ race or ethnicity when they come together as a winning team.

In most cases, it’s not the young people who divide themselves; it’s the adults.

What a bunch of preaching, sanctimonious drivel. Mr. Gates might have learned a few basic facts if he had bothered to do some actual research instead of plugging using his desegregation template from the 1960's. Desegregation Writing for Dummies (1968).   Read the data for yourself.

Cleveland High School
White: 48% (298)
Black: 45% (281)

East Side High School
Black: 100% (368)

A difference of 17 students at one high school. Wow.  Sure looks segregated, doesn't it.  Only in Jimmie Gates logic is 48-45 segregated. Don't worry.  White students will be 31% of the new consolidated high school.

What about the lower schools? Let's take a look.

D.M. Smith Middle
Black: 100% (258)

Margaret Green Junior High
White: 41% (187)
Black: 54% (243)

So white students comprise only 41% of the junior high school. However, a racial abacus states that whites will be 27% of the students at a consolidated junior high school.The elementary schools are somewhat different as they are smaller.

Bell Elementary
Black: 50% (179)
White: 44% (159)
Asian:  6% (11)

Cypress Park Elementary
Black:  100% (255)

Nailor Elementary
Black 100% (372)

Parks Elementary
Black: 48% (171)
White: 48% (172)

Pearman Elementary School
Black: 65% (170)
White: 26% (68)

Hayes Cooper Center for Match Science (Magnet School)
Black: 41% (138)
White: 49% (165)
Hispanic: (17)
Asian: (13)

No school in the district is majority-white. Period.  However, that fact doesn't stop Mr. Gates from smearing Cleveland and preaching how they should learn to go to school together.  Mr. Gates didn't bother to learn any facts about the school system but instead used the pages of the "state newspaper" to smear a school district that is integrated and somehow managed to stave off white flight.

For some strange reason, the Clarion-Ledger</> is engaged in a campaign against the Cleveland Municipal School District.  This one-sided and dishonest coverage is probably the result of reporters and editors who are sorry they missed the Civil Rights movement of the 1960's and see this as their chance to make up for it, Cleveland be damned.  

As Kenneth Stokes would say, tell da truth. 

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

Apparently what Gates wants to see happen is for the 29% white kids to be split up among all the schools. This way each school will have a huge black majority and a very small white minority. He doesn't give a rat's ass about sacrificing the white kids to achieve his utopian dream. The end result will be an even larger reduction of white kids in the district, which will allow Gates and his ilk to cry about "white flight" ruining the schools. What a total asshole Gates is.

Unblinkered said...

I'm not sure what Mr. Gates would have the district DO about this, even if his imaginary scenario were actually accurate. Any student, black, white, yellow, or an admixture thereof, whose parents can afford to, are sent to private schools. So what you have left in the public schools is a motley assortment of unmotivated kids slouching towards adulthood, ready to breed wantonly and keep the whole dismal cycle going forward. No end in sight. No amount of jiggery-pokery with "numbers" and "percentages" is going to make a spit's worth of difference.

Anonymous said...

In the worlds of the Obamas/Gates/Clarion Assholes, desegregation means "as few whites as possible."

Anonymous said...

What the good people here at JJ seem to miss in all of this is the concentration of white kids in one school is the problem, not the numbers of white students. If this were truly random choice, as the JJ and the District is trying to argue, then why are all of the white kids going one high school and one middle school, while black students are attending all of the schools?

The DOJ is citing the argument behind Brown v. Board that separate schooling is inherently unequal and the community members have testified over the years that the current configuration of the schools has set a perception in the community that the education to be had varies at different schools. I've tried to see if the course offerings, teacher and principal credentials and experience, and extra curricular activities were different but I haven't been able to confirm that.

@11:05,
No, not everyone with means automatically send their children to private schools. Many people see the value of diversity, accountability, and transparency that are inherent in public schools and not so apparent with private schools. Besides, the picture you paint takes us back to the 1700's where only the rich received education. Do you think this would be a good thing for our society, to have a vast majority of the people in a democracy uneducated? That sounds like democracy for sale to me, is that the American Way?

Anonymous said...

Consolidate the schools....save money....rest of it is silly

Anonymous said...

To 11:32...Eastside (100% black) actually scores better than Cleveland High. Whites attend Cleveland High because that is where they are zoned, You are familiar with the concept of neighborhood schools? No white live east of the tracks, hence no white students at Eastside. Other posters are correct. There is a tipping point at which white flight occurs, and if officials insist on trying to send whites to Eastside or more blacks to Cleveland High, the only winners will be the private schools. Let me know how you feel about "diversity, accountability and transparency" when your child is one of two white students in her class. Also, I didn't realize the goal of education was to promote diversity, accountability and transparency (and, frankly, I have no idea what you mean with all that jargon). I thought the mission of schools was to provide an education and mental skillset to prepare students for the workplace or for college.

Anonymous said...

To the Feel the Bern logic @11:32am

Could it be that all the white kids live in the same geographic area? Take Jackson for example, out of the 28,019 enrolled a whopping 382 are white!

North Jackson schools
87 go to McWillie
* reported for Boyd (boo Fondren)
22 at Casey (those with means but choose to stay in public school?)
24 Bailey Apac (ditto)
43 Murrah (where you at Fondren/Belhaven?)
14 Spann (means?)

And then there is Forest Hill coming at 12 whites way out in South Jackson.

I have to assume the 180 difference is somewhere in the * for whites in several schools (i.e. Boyd, Power, McLeod, etc.) The MDE website states -
Note: * Represents suppressed data to prevent the identification of individuals in small cells or with unique characteristics

Otherwise we are not going to tell you that there are only 1 or 2 white kids at this particular school.

Point being what whites are in JPS are North Jackson kids - geographically aligned with their district.

And I know several bleeding hearts that have moved to Madison or Flowood once their precious little snow flake was ready for public school. Socially liberal, closet racist.

Anonymous said...

Even though both groups of students at Cleveland High have chosen the most diverse attendance option the minority white students must be punished for not embracing the political orthodoxy of the left by failing to equally self-distribute themselves between the two high school options.

Whites can't use specific words or phrases that self-associating blacks use in their everyday language and whites are not allowed to use commonly accepted statistical definitions of diversity.

Gates' is quick to prophesize from the great Book of Diversity because everyone on the left, and certainly everyone who is black, is a diversity expert but Gates is, in reality, only the useful idiot parroting the liberal dogma goal to destroy everyone and every group that refuses to subjugate personal freedoms of association to totalitarianism.

The remaining white public school population of Cleveland must surrender and convert or pay the progressive jizya.

Our next Civil War is one day closer.

Anonymous said...

Cleveland has 12,000 or so residents. There's never been a need for more than one school district.

SO-private schools will benefit. Who cares.

Why can't public schools have outstanding educations no matter the racial makeup of the student body? Ah--that's the rub. Make the public school so good that people want to send their child--do that and we all win. Don't do that--same as we have now. No better--but also no worse.

Anonymous said...

Whites attend Cleveland High because that is where they are zoned

Incorrect. You need to read, not skim.

Anonymous said...

Gates writes that Debra Brown is the first African-American woman appointed a U.S. District judge in Mississippi. Maybe I'm missing something, but wasn't Henry Wingate appointed a U.S. District judge many years ago?

Kingfish said...

I think he meant the North Mississippi District. In South you have Reeves, Wingate, and Anderson although Anderson is a magistrate.

Anonymous said...

Wingate is a woman? Who knew! Transgenders are everywhere I tell you, everywhere. Just like gays.

Anonymous said...

@1:11,
The argument of the Cleveland district is that they have open enrollment, so students can go to any school they want. So, zoning doesn't explain the concentration of white students at those 2 schools. The district is claiming that to consolidate the high schools would "limit the options the parents in the community have" for schooling. So, the district admits that there are differences in the schools that cannot be explained by geographic zooning alone. The DOJ is saying that those differences represent a fundamental inequity in the schooling of the students there, and community members are saying that there is a perception of the two schools that differentiates the students and alumni of each. One has to ask what is fundamentally different about these schools such that no white students in the Cleveland community "choose" to attend Eastside High School?

@1:19,

Schooling can not be at the behest of fearful and irrational white and middle class citizens. You cannot justify white flight. I admit it does happen, but school systems cannot be about the business of structuring policies and systems to accommodate those people who choose to leave a school because of fear and ignorance. Why would a white student be at a disadvantage by being the only student (or two) in a predominantly black class? It begs the question of what disadvantages are present in Black schools, at least in their eyes?

Also, to be educated and prepared for the workforce and democracy in the 21st century , students must be comfortable in diverse settings; ready to be creative problem solvers with effective communication and other social skills (according to the 21st Century skills initiative). Diversity is vital to the overall educational experience and preparation. I know many in Mississippi don't value it, but perhaps that's a good reason why we suffer so much on many social-economic indices. Accountability and transparency are vital to any efficient and effective functioning of institutions, especially those that serve the public. Again, I know many Mississippians don't value these things, but that's no reason to believe they shouldn't be valued.

Anonymous said...

11:05 -- "Any student, black, white, yellow, or an admixture thereof, whose parents can afford to, are sent to private schools."

Is that a private school education on subject-verb agreement on display?

Anonymous said...

Diversity is vital to the overall educational experience and preparation.

According to whom? You?

Anonymous said...

11:32 & 3:20 (same)

The people attend the schools they do because they have a choice. Not difficult to understand for most folks.

However, someone of your (presumed) advanced education, along with elevated worth of your personal thoughts, propels you to offer condescending reasoning why choice should not be allowed. Sorry, no.

Also you cannot know what may "justify" any person to do anything. Presumptuous.

Anonymous said...

Why does the district send all the white kids to one school? Why not send half to each?

Anonymous said...

Please catch up 5:43 PM.

Anonymous said...

He wants "desegregation"? I think he's right! Can't wait for his column on Jackson State and the unequal enrollment numbers there!

Gates is a joke. Much like Sam Hall and Jerry Mitchell, he doesn't report but rather, he writes one-sided hit pieces that lack facts and lack any type of journalistic integrity. Between those three stooges I would guess that 98% of everything they write has to do with perceived racism, unfairness of life, the state flag, and crimes that occurred 60 years ago.

The Clarion Ledger is a joke.

Anonymous said...



"Even though both groups of students at Cleveland High have chosen the most diverse attendance option the minority white students must be punished for not embracing the political orthodoxy of the left by failing to equally self-distribute themselves between the two high school options.

Whites can't use specific words or phrases that self-associating blacks use in their everyday language and whites are not allowed to use commonly accepted statistical definitions of diversity.

Gates' is quick to prophesize from the great Book of Diversity because everyone on the left, and certainly everyone who is black, is a diversity expert but Gates is, in reality, only the useful idiot parroting the liberal dogma goal to destroy everyone and every group that refuses to subjugate personal freedoms of association to totalitarianism.

The remaining white public school population of Cleveland must surrender and convert or pay the progressive jizya." May 25, 2016 at 1:35 PM

BRILLIANT!!! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I'm no social justice zealot. And maybe I am missing something. But, I'm not sure how you can claim your schools aren't segregated if you have some schools that are 100% AA.

Anonymous said...

Several posters asked what's different (read "lacking") about Eastside High to cause white kids to choose enrollment in CHS. Either this is a not so subtle attempt at purporting the separate and unequal accusation against Cleveland School District, or it's baiting a response which can be taken as racist. Please direct all inquiries to the GRAMMY offices in Los Angeles, and see why they chose not to build the museum on the Eastside side of town.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:43 (1)

I'm not suggesting that choice shouldn't be allowed. I am suggesting that public policy and practices shouldn't accommodate for choices made out of fear and ignorance, like the choice to make a "white flight" out of a public school (and a community) because the school or neighborhood becomes more integrated. Especially when that flight creates a context of hyper-concentrated poverty and isolation for the remaining students, a context which makes schooling those remaining students next to impossible.

Also, without justification, no actions are worthy of support and protection from our government. If the white students are choosing to only attend Cleveland High School because of unfounded or unreasonable fears about the quality of education they'd receive at EHS due to the racial make up of the student body, the DOJ nor any other government institution is bound to protect or support that choice. It is not arrogance on my part to ask for justification s for choices that are yielding segregated spaces in public institutions, but prudent in the interest of justice and fairness before the law.

Anonymous said...

2:12 would you like to explain how if a parent moves their child to another school it will make the remaining kids any more poor than they were before?
You may see it as fear and ignorance but the parents will see it as getting their child the best education they can. Why should they make their child suffer just because the parents of some of the other children do not care enough to see their child is educated.

Anonymous said...

2:12 said "Also, without justification, no actions are worthy of support and protection from our government."

You're speaking of the government like it's a separate entity, not to be bound by the will of the people it governs. The Great Emancipator believed "that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

Anonymous said...

2:12 (special interpreter for big government)

Your drivel about 'justification' at 2:12 is not at all relating to your 3:20 post, "You cannot justify white flight."

We were talking about an individual... and you attempted to turn that to the governments responsibility... as if, to what, change an individual's mind on personal justification?

You make up unrelated defenses as you go.

Anonymous said...

@3:06,
It is not that white flight creates (more) poverty, but it concentrates poverty. When a school, a community, is over concentrated with poor people, there is a severe lack of resources, not just fiscal, but social capital (networks for access to career opportunities and investment capital), political capital (poor people don't vote-mainly because they are not engaged in political issues-they don't have the luxury of time and education to do so), educational (see previous point), etc. Studies have shown that integrated schools (by class and race) actually help poor and minority students achieve more academically. They have access to better schooling when they are being schooled in contexts with middle and upper class students, because the resources area available to them. When whites (and middle class blacks) leave these schools, poverty becomes more concentrated, and things like advanced courses that prepare students for college, more experienced and expert teachers, more extra curricular activities seem to leave as well.

As a parent, with options, I well understand not subjecting our children to sub-par education. But, why should it be a choice or a need to leave a public school? What has happened to create drop out factories, school to prison pipelines and such in our public schools? These things did not occur until schools were integrated and subsequent white flight drained the schools of resources, much needed resources for education.

@3:15pm,

I agree our government is for the people. Our democratic-republic was founded upon the highest ideals; justice, equality, freedom, civility. The government was not founded to protect the destructive tragedy of our humanity, but the most good. One of those high ideals is the protection of the minority from the tyranny of the majority. Racism is a tyranny born out of fear, ignorance, greed, and indifference. These traits, if supported by our government, will surely cause our society and democracy to fall. To ask of our government to wilt in the face of fear, ignorance, and injustice is to ask for our mutual destruction. Wouldn't you agree?

So no, I do not agree that our government should structure policies and practices that would protect white flight and thus destroy our social fabric. Fear and ignorance that bare racism cannot be protected by government, lest we see our certain destruction. Yes, people can have the right to live in fear and ignorance, and they can live wherever they want to live. But, when we see the fear and ignorance destroying institutions like our public schools and communities like Jackson, the government is right and duty bound to act on behalf of the more vulnerable in the community and in the interest of justice to protect these institutions.

Anonymous said...

If the white students are choosing to only attend Cleveland High School because of unfounded or unreasonable fears ...

Unfounded or unreasonable according to whom? You?

Anonymous said...

@4:37 PM = Blame Whitey

Anonymous said...

4:37, so your solution is for people who can afford to live in a nicer area with better schools stay in the blighted areas just so their child will become one of those kids you are talking about? How stupid are you? What parent is going to tell their kid, "We can afford to live in a better area with better schools but we decided to keep you in this ghetto. Some wild idea a fool has is much more important to us than your future."

Anonymous said...

When you see how well CNN has shared the complexity and ambiguities of this Cleveland story -- with actual statistics as Kingfish has so painfully (and FIRST) brought to Mississippi's attention -- you realize how truly awful, how pitiful, the Clarion-Ledger has become.

Anonymous said...

... you realize how truly awful, how pitiful, the Clarion-Ledger has become.

Except for Anna Wolfe. She's good. AND she is HOT!!!

Anonymous said...

@9:47,

I do not know where you got that I would want parents to keep their children in a "Ghetto school" in a "Ghetto neighborhood". That is not what my posts imply. I ask about how schools and communities become "Ghetto", but I don't say be content with that reality. I actually advocate for the schools that serve the more vulnerable populations in our State to become better. It is not enough to simply move the few who can into a suburb that will eventually go down as white flight continues from those suburbs (check Ridgeland). We must provide world class education for all children, regardless of their zip code. To settle for otherwise would disregard the humanity of the people living in distressed communities.

Also, I do not know what economy you think you live in, but capitalist/market based economy only produces wealth for a relative few, while the vast majority teeter on the working/poverty class line. The solution to the public school crisis cannot be "all poor people make more money and move to a better neighborhood". Social mobility stats in this country show that the overwhelming majority of poor people are born poor, live in poverty, and die poor. We have to ask the question, where is the investment in the schools that serve poor communities so as to help poor children to be better educated and to take advantage of opportunities for personal growth and social mobility as adults? The answer lies in the very fact that keeps this vicious cycle going, the disparity of resource distribution in our communities.

If the people who are making decisions about educational investment have no (perceived)vested interest in truly educating poor children, then how will education be the ladder for social mobility for these children? If the market based economy demands profit be derived from the difference between product price and production price (and the easiest variable to adjust production price is labor cost), then business elites (with their influence on law makers) have a more(perceived) vested interest in keeping labor wages low. The best way to do that is limit educational investment in the poor so as to maintain a low skilled labor market, which can be exploited for maximum profit. And before I hear claims of "Communism/ Socialism/Marxism", just know that I advocate for none of those, at least not in the way many of you would conceive of those concepts. I am just aware of how the labor market works in Mississippi.

I am just stating a reality. How can poor people experience social mobility in schools that are educating them for menial labor if not prison? Bob Moses observed as much in the 1960's in the MS delta, and not much has changed since then concerning education in this state.

Anonymous said...

@11:57,
Those stats don't disprove anything the DOJ is claiming, they only show that CHS is not all white. But that is not the DOJ's argument or reason for demanding desegregation. The problem is that ALL of the white high school students in Cleveland attend CHS ONLY. How can you say your district is not segregated if none of the white kids in the district attend EHS? Simply showing stats that show the percentage of kids at CHS that are white doesn't settle anything in the complaint the DOJ is redressing.

We're Desegregating YOUR Minority Honky Ass said...

Punish the whites, punish the whites, punish them bloody until they succumb to the understanding that they may not freely associate in any concentrations not approved by the dictatorial leftists.

It doesn't matter that the percentage of approved minority white public school concentration is a moving target. It doesn't matter that non-white ethnic groups are free to concentrate at whatever levels they choose. Even if black students attended Cleveland High in sufficient numbers to render the minority white student population as only comprising 35%, 30% or as little as 25% of the total CHS student body it wouldn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that 90-100% of Cleveland's minority white public school students are not allowed to attend only one of [ n + 1 ] available high schools. That, THAT is a violation of the leftist tyrants' guidelines for allowable minority white student concentration.

Minority white public school students are hereby not allowed to make decisions in conjunction with other minority white students to associate with each other in majority black communities without prior approval by the race distribution control freaks.

Punish the whites, punish the whites, punish them bloody for failing to subjugate their freedoms, their choice, their own best interests and their children's educations to the ruling tyrants on the left.

Anonymous said...

12:20,What you seem to not notice is the people who lie in the ghetto neighborhood. Most are single parent families. Most are on some govt. benefits program, many of the children do not even know who their father might be. It is very hard for a school to take over the raising of a family when the parents do not even care about their children. Many of the kids have police records before they get diplomas and a large % never do get a diploma.
Your solution is to keep back those children that have two caring parents. That is a quick track to the bottom. Schools are already dumbing down. Why should the children of caring parents suffer just to satisfy your ideas?
The vicious cycle you refer to comes from inside the families of the ghetto neighborhood. There is no family life. When a child is taught from the day they are born that the world owes them a living and they do not have to do any work they will choose the way they were taught.
What exactly should the school do to change the way a child was raised? If the parents do not care enough about their own child to put in some effort why should other people have to do it for them. After all they were the people who raised the children.

Anonymous said...

Well said. Especially the part about "non-white ethic groups are free to concentrate at whatever levels they choose."

Anonymous We're Desegregating YOUR Minority Honky Ass said...
Punish the whites, punish the whites, punish them bloody until they succumb to the understanding that they may not freely associate in any concentrations not approved by the dictatorial leftists.

It doesn't matter that the percentage of approved minority white public school concentration is a moving target. It doesn't matter that non-white ethnic groups are free to concentrate at whatever levels they choose. Even if black students attended Cleveland High in sufficient numbers to render the minority white student population as only comprising 35%, 30% or as little as 25% of the total CHS student body it wouldn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that 90-100% of Cleveland's minority white public school students are not allowed to attend only one of [ n + 1 ] available high schools. That, THAT is a violation of the leftist tyrants' guidelines for allowable minority white student concentration.

Minority white public school students are hereby not allowed to make decisions in conjunction with other minority white students to associate with each other in majority black communities without prior approval by the race distribution control freaks.

Punish the whites, punish the whites, punish them bloody for failing to subjugate their freedoms, their choice, their own best interests and their children's educations to the ruling tyrants on the left.

Suscribe to latest on JJ.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Loading...

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Who is the hottest reporter?

Archives

Who is the Hottest Reporter in Jackson?

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.