Monday, June 22, 2026

Animal Rescue Group Busted

Note: I'm a bit under the weather so today will probably be a slow one at JJ.  Sorry. 

Secretary of State Michael Watson issued the following statement. 

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Sunday, June 21, 2026

They Mad

 Nothing like exercising freedom of speech.  'Murica. 

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Ta-Da! (With Sound Effects)

"This is the age of the half-read page; the quick hash and the mad dash. The bright knight with the nerves tight; the plane hop and the brief stop. The lamp-tan in a brief span; the big shot in a good spot. The brain strain and the heart pain; the catnaps until the spring snaps...and the fun's done!" The late Dr. Frank Pollard used this anonymous poem to show the fun doesn't end when spring ends but begins with the resurrection.   Enjoy the short 1998 sermon posted below as he preaches as only he can.   

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Bill Crawford: Henry Barbour: Elections Matter

 “I certainly learned over the years that elections matter,” said Henry Barbour. The Yazoo City native, who spent 20 years as the Mississippi GOP’s voice on the Republican National Committee, was speaking to the North Jackson Rotary Club.

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Saturday, June 20, 2026

Is the Crisis Over at ABC?

 Shipping times at the ABC warehouse are finally back to normal.  Read and weep. 

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Live From Reunion

 Nothing like some good ole fashioned American ingenuity. 

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D.L. Gardner: Championships and Birthdays

 Leading stories this morning were Knicks beat Spurs 94 -90 to win their first Championship since 1973! Followed by President Trump announcing he had won another war and would be signing an agreement with Iran today (Sunday), although Iranian leaders don’t think so. Breaking news may still happen… sometime. Finally, some soccer teams beat some other soccer teams, and FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) teams in Groups A – L continue the long championship until Sunday, July 19, in East Rutherford, N.J., at 3:00 p.m. ET.  

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Friday, June 19, 2026

How to Win at Divorce

This bit of lawyer porn is for the shysters hanging out in the bars of Amerigo, Char, and Koestler Prime right now. Enjoy.  

A Greene County woman found justice at the Mississippi Court of Appeals after her husband managed to obtain a divorce and favorable property settlement without her knowledge. You read that correctly.  A man submitted a petition for divorce while someone forged her signature on all documents submitted to the Court.  Did we mention she was never served?  Nevertheless, the Chancellor granted the divorce and ignored the wife when she claimed fraud.  

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Redneck of the Day

 A Starkville redneck FAFO'd this week when he went nuts on a man who dared take his two little girls into an empty women's bathroom at a QT gas station in Alabama.   

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The Cost of it All

How much are people paying for cars? Read and weep.  Edmunds reported: 

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MCPP: The Six Stages of AI

When something new comes along, everyone suddenly has to have an opinion about it. Often the same one.

When crypto went mainstream, people who had never owned so much as a share were suddenly holding forth on bitcoin. When Ozempic arrived, people who had never once expressed a view on weight loss were just as eager to share the very same thoughts. Now it is AI’s turn. No conversation about it seems complete until someone has solemnly used the word “hallucination.”

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Settled

 A hearing was supposed to be heard in Voyles v. Jackson Academy et al in Hinds County Court yesterday.  

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Zucchini, Ham, and Cheese Rollups

 Fell like snacking but want something different?  You are in luck as Chef ZeroBear PolyBear provided us with his recipe for zucchini, ham, and cheese rollups in a downloadable format.  Since you will probably be stuck inside because of the weather this weekend, here is something to pass the time.  

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Thursday, June 18, 2026

Kicked Out?

Is it the end for Moe's Southwest Grill in Jackson? 

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Please Support Jackson Jambalaya

 It's the time of year when you, the readers, support your favorite Jackson website.  Your support makes this website possible and it would not have made it this far without you.  However, the need for your support remains as strong as ever. 

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How It All Began

 How did the Bridges allegedly embezzle so much money from the Jackson Area Federal Credit Union. Tis a question asked over and over in Jackson this week.  Fortunately, JJ obtained exclusive video of how the alleged scheme came to be.   

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Empower Podcast: How to Overcome Yourself

This week host Grant Callen takes a break from arguing about school choice, taxes, and whatever fresh foolishness emerged from the Capitol to talk about something a little more personal: why we keep repeating the same destructive patterns and then act surprised by the results.

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Oxford Justice: How Walker Fielder's Killer Went Free

His head "was in his hands crying like a baby."  Such were the crocodile tears shed in a courtroom in March before a judge set Seth Rokitka free after serving only a mere 21 months in jail after he ran over an Ole Miss student and killed him while permanently maiming his girlfriend.  The news of the release outraged many around Mississippi.  JJ obtained a copy of the court hearing transcript so readers can read the play by play on how this travesty of justice took place. 


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Wednesday, June 17, 2026

On Second Thought, About That Special Election

 Special Circuit Judge Barry Ford realized he can't call a special election for Hinds County Supervisor after all.  

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The Judge Warms Up

U.S. District Judge Daniel P. Jordan, III set the rules of the battlefield for the public corruption trial of Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens, former Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba, and former Jackson City Councilman Aaron Banks at a pre-trial conference hearing this week.  WLBT reported: 

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Deal of the Day

The best boots in America are on sale.  You read that correctly.  White's Boots is holding a big sale.  Need a new pair of work boots or safety boots? Do you ride motorcycles?  Do you fight fires? Are you a lineman? Retire the Wolverines and get a pair of these boots.  The style is Pacific Northwest.  White's boots are not cheap but this is case of you literally get what you pay for.  

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Trial? What Trial?

 Well, someone doesn't appear too worried about the public corruption trial scheduled to take place next month in federal court. 

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Robert St. John: The Community Cafe

 The day before we opened The Downtowner in Gulfport, the leadership team and I sat around a table and just talked. Sports. The weather. Who has the best shrimp po-boy on the coast.

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Sid Salter: Supreme Court Stands Firm to Keep Justice for Murdered Quitman Family

Once again, Mississippi’s highest court was asked to hold out for justice for a family murdered in 1990 in a hellish scene in their Walnut community home in rural Quitman County.

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Tuesday, June 16, 2026

Tony Smith Fights Back

Hinds County District 2 Supervisor Tony Smith is taking his fight to keep his seat to the Mississippi Supreme Court.  Mr. Smith filed a notice of appeal today. 

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Terminated!

 The Leigh Bridges scandal claimed another casualty.  Insurance Commissioner Mike Chaney terminated Chad Bridge's employment today.  Bridges was the Director of Finance and Marketing at the Mississippi Insurance Department.  Comment in this morning's post. 

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Child Molester Gets Life + 15

 Rankin-Madison District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Arrest Made in Trail Ride Murder

 Update: Bond set at $1 million for murder and $500,000 for each aggravated assault charge.  Total bond is $3.5 million. 

JPD issued the following statement. 

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Shoes, Dominos, and Bodies

Dominos falling. Bodies piling up. Shoes dropping.  Such describes what happened in federal court yesterday when the National Credit Union Administration sued former Jackson Area Federal Credit Union Branch Manager Tina Funez for her role in (allegedly) helping her friend, former credit union president Leigh Bridges embezzle nearly $95 million. 

 

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Monday, June 15, 2026

Feds Want to Bar Owens' Expert Witnesses in Public Corruption Trial

 The Justice Department wants to bar Jody Owens' expert witnesses from testifying in his trial next month.   

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Good News for Gulfport

Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Buy Low, Sell High

 or the kids might be all right. 

Some kids are just born capitalist pigs.  

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The Hallucinations of Jackson's Attorney

The city of Jackson's attorney caught the hallucinations bug up in Ridgeland as they got caught citing ordinances that simply did not exist.   

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Sunday, June 14, 2026

The Wages of Sin

Many thanks to the readers who tipped JJ off to the Mississippi Magazine article yesterday. 

It is rare indeed when a con artist openly displays his wares but such happened some time ago right here in Mississippi.   Former Jackson Area Credit Union President Leigh Bridges and her husband Chad stand accused of embezzling tens and tens of millions of dollars so they could buy expensive homes, luxury jewelry, and even a Steinway piano.  Stealing (allegedly) $95 million is brazen.  Even more brazen is showing off the crime in where else but Mississippi Magazine.  Earlier post on alleged embezzlement.


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How Did We Get Here?

 It was 1998.  The epidemic of school shootings had begun.  Horror spilled into a nation as children began murdering other children.  An emotional Dr. Frank Pollard took to the pulpit to deliver a rather penetrating sermon on how our poisonous culture created such monsters.   As garbage and poison fills the mind, so it fills the actions.  Watch Dr. Pollard's sermon posted below as he asks how we got here.  

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Bailey Avenue Bloodshed

 The Capitol Police issued the following statement yesterday. 

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Bill Crawford: My Generation Remembers What Life Felt Like Before

 The marbles and dirt memory captivated me. Perhaps something in these excerpts from an Informatify Facebook post will grab you too. 

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Saturday, June 13, 2026

Diamonds, Steinways, & Beaches: The Case of the $95 Million Embezzlement (Updated)

 The former President of the Jackson Area Federal Credit Union did not just live high on the hog, she allegedly lived high off the whole pigsty.  The National Federal Credit Union Board accused Leigh Bridges and her husband Chad of looting the Jackson Area Federal Credit Union to the tune of $95 million in a lawsuit filed against the couple.  

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Double Murder on Beasley

 JPD issued the following statement. 

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D.L. Gardner: What's Wrong With Being Patriotic?

 I don’t remember celebrating June 6 growing up. I remember people talking about D-Day, and reminiscing about the allied invasion of western Europe on that date in 1944, but celebrating is not quite the right word for June 6 in history.  

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Friday, June 12, 2026

Flashback Friday: Windsor Ruins

This post was first published January 11, 2016. 



 Jackson Jambalaya presents Windsor Ruins as never seen before. Many pictures have been taken of the famous Mississippi landmark but none from above.  JJ recently acquired a Yuneec Typhoon 500 drone with a 4k camera and made  a video of the ruins as the first project.  Photographer Rick Guy shot and edited the footage you see below.   The video is best seen in high definition.  Click on the wheel (settings) on the Youtube frame and select 720.  We hope you enjoy this presentation of Windsor Ruins. 

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MCPP: More Money Won't Fix Schools. Our Data Proves It

For decades, America has been told that the key to better schools is more money. Underperformance, the argument runs, is really a question of resources. Just give the teacher unions what they ask for, and good outcomes will follow. Mississippi is starting to show that this simply is not true.

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Feds Slightly Tip Their Hand Against Owens & Lumumba

The feds peeled back the curtains ever so slightly in the Lumumba-Owens corruption case today.  The Justice Department filed a notice of intent to file self-authenticating records.  The records will include bank statements, credit card statements, and loan records.   The notice is posted below.  Chokwe Lumumba, Jody Owens, and Aaron Banks will go to trial on July 13. 

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Bye-Bye Mommy and Daddy

 Inclusion is now exclusion.  The state of New York is about to ban the words - get ready for this - "mother" and "father" from court documents.   Fox News reported: 

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ABC Gets Some Good News

The ABC made some serious headway last week in reducing the backlog at its warehouse.   Check out the chart. 

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A Jackson Data Center: Threat or Opportunity?

Jackson Ward 1 Councilman Ashby Foote authored this guest column. 

Ranting about Data Centers is all the rage these days. Word got out recently of a developer exploring Jackson in hopes of building a new AI (artificial intelligence) data center. Who knew it would unleash a hornet’s nest of protests and gnashing of teeth? Opponents drove from 3 hours away to a City Council meeting just to share for 3 minutes their dire warnings of great troubles with data centers. That proves it is an important topic worthy of calm and rational discussion.

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Clinton Touts $1 Billion AWS Project

 The city of Clinton issued the following statement. 

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Veggies From the Garden Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

 It is summertime and summertime means working your garden.   ZeroBear Polybear provided a nice little recipe for garden veggies in a downloadable format that can be used when it's time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.


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Thursday, June 11, 2026

Coming Soon

 One of Broadway's best is coming to New Orleans in October.  That's right.  The Lion King will run at the Saenger Theatre from October 21 to November 8.  Don't want to stay over night? No problem.  There are 1:00 shows on Sundays and 2:00 shows on Saturdays.  

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Supremes to Shad: Auditor Audits and Attorney General Litigates

 State Auditor Shad White lost his battle to recover $228,000 in unpaid interest from Brett Favre after the Mississippi Supreme Court ruled today only the Attorney General can sue to recover misspent funds.  

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Schmucks of the Day

 Check out what our favorite squatters done did.  

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What Happens When Everyone Hallucinates?

Is there an honest lawyer in the house?  

Hallucinations are unfortunately becoming more common in Mississippi courtrooms.  Such is to be expected when attorneys only get slaps on the wrist when they submit bogus briefs.  How bad has hallucinating gotten? A federal judge in North Mississippi sanctioned the attorneys from both sides in a lawsuit.   You read that correctly.  The lawyers for the plaintiff and the defendant got caught submitting bogus citations to the Court.  You can't make this up.  

Duuuude

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Strangler Gets 20 Years

 Rankin-Madison District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, June 10, 2026

MBI Takes Over Covington County Cop Shooting

 The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation issued the following statement. 

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Accused Child Molester Gets $16 Million Bond

 An accused child molester won't be going anywhere for awhile after a Jackson Municipal Court judge set his bond at $16 million. 

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Feds Decide to Stand and Fight in Jackson

 The Justice Department wants to prosecute Jody Owens, Chokwe Lumumba, and Aaron Banks in Jackson.  Prosecutors stated in a motion filed today: 

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Robert St. John: The Unlived Life

 I'm not scared of failing. I'm scared of living a life that didn't matter.

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PERS Executive Director Going North

 The Ohio School Employees Retirement System issued the following statement. 

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Sid Salter: Legislature Should Heed Price's Efforts to Restore Ballot Initiative Process

Price was right.
When Rep. Price Wallace, the Republican state legislator representing the citizens of House District 77 in Rankin and Simpson counties, died last week, one of the primary plaudits in his obituary was his leadership in attempting to restore ballot initiative rights to Mississippi voters.

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Tuesday, June 9, 2026

How to Sober Up in Two Seconds

 The Louisiana, yes, Louisiana State Police issued the following statement. 

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Druggie Thief Gets 45 Years

 Rankin-Madison District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Couple Gives $9 Million to Children's Hospital

 UMC issued the following press release. 

During an early visit to the hospital, Priscilla and David O’Donnell toured patient care areas inside older facilities, a moment that left a lasting impression.

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Funny of the Day

 Some people really are stupid enough to believe this crap.  

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Idiot of the Day

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Monday, June 8, 2026

Wanted: Dead or Alive

Update: Caught!

A manhunt is underway as police search for two brothers accused of shooting a Covington County deputy this afternoon.  The suspects are the brothers of Cordorius Hobbs. Hobbs is accused of killing Billy and Virginia Blair.  The couple was in their 70's.

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Jackson Clarifies Airport Annexation Settlement

 Jackson Mayor John Horn issued the following statement. 

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Irony

 Oh, the irony of it all.   

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Bigger Pie Forum: What the Corps Understands but You Don't

A sequel to Blissful Ignorance

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." — Upton Sinclair, 1934




Sinclair was writing about California politics in the 1930s. He could have been writing about Mississippi River Commission (MRC) politics today. Its Commanding General’s next star (salary) may depend on your not understanding Mudberg.

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Former College Football Player Murdered

 Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement. 

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Flashback: A Look at Jackson

Once upon a time, a far away time, a time long forgotten, Jackson legend Jim Dollarhide produced a short film about Jackson.  Titled Through Our Own Eyes, the film featured luminaries such as  Wyatt Waters, Charles Doty, Gail Pittman, Donna Sones, Malcolm White, Jacqueline Perry, Will Primos, and of course, Bernard  John Ebbers.  So step back to 1999 and see how we saw Jackson 27 years ago.  

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Sunday, June 7, 2026

Trail Ride Turns Deadly

 JPD issued the following statement. 

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Bill Crawford: Sanctioned Cruelty Pervades ICE Treatment of Immigrants

 The Bible is rife with stories of man’s cruelty to his fellowman. Rising above such behavior has been the great challenge of civilization. Since its founding the United States has progressed – though slowly at times – from a legal order that practiced subordination and harsh punishment to one that outlawed cruelty to women, children, prisoners, and other vulnerable groups. The Eighth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, adopted in 1791, banned “cruel and unusual punishments” reflecting the nation's sincere commitment to justice and humane treatment.

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Saturday, June 6, 2026

The Kids Might Be All Right

What happens when a restaurant owner's wife lapses into a months-long coma and he must be at her side? 

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The Champion Who is not a Champion

 The folks in Eastover and the Country Club of Jackson can breathe a little easier.  

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Fake-Time Crime Center?

 Gee, how often did we hear Chokwe brag about the Real Time Crime Center?  WLBT reported: 

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D.L. Gardner: In God We Trust

 The United States of America will turn 250 years old in a few weeks. From a ragtag group of colonists and settlers, we have grown into the most powerful nation in the world today. The summer of 2026 will be a time for celebration, contemplation, and anticipation. 

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Arrests Made in Hideaway Murder

 JPD issued the following statement. 

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Friday, June 5, 2026

MDOC Gets Another Lifer

Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Funny of the Day

 Why we can't have nice things reason #_____.  Exhibit A: A Facebook post griping about Highball Lanes: 

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Ruan to Liquor Stores: You Don't Have a Right to be Served

Ruan Transport argued it does not have a duty to ship alcohol to ABC customers in a motion to dismiss filed in federal court this week.  Aloha Wine & Spirits, Old Rooster Holdings, and Rosetti's Liquor Barrell sued Ruan earlier this year, alleging damages caused by the implosion of the ABC warehouse in Gluckstadt.  Ruan manages the warehouse for ABC. 

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MCPP: The Great Mississippi Mystery

 Car tags in Mississippi typically cost between $300 and $700 a year. In the first year, a car tag can sometimes cost between $800 and $1,500. Cross the state line into Arkansas or Alabama, and the same car tag will cost you about half as much.


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Escapee to be Tried as Adult

 Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement. 

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A Bit Touchy, Aren't We?

 A reporter apparently got under the new JPD Chief of Staff's skin.   Up and coming reporter Molly Minta reported at Barksdale Today

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My Bologna Has a First Name

 Summertime means bologna sammiches but let's be honest, it gets old after awhile.  Thankfully, ZeroBear PolyBear provided us with his fried bologna recipe in a downloadable format.  Go Krogering, get some bologna, and get to work.  

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Thursday, June 4, 2026

Losing to the "Waffle House Car on the Lawn States"

Who could have foreseen this happening 50 years ago? Bill Maher dragged Mississippi, yes, Mississippi, all over the face of California Friday night.  Enjoy.  Check out the video around 6:50.

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Oops!

 It appears yet another attorney hallucinated. 

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Empower Podcast: Can the Delta Rise Again?

The Mississippi Delta has produced blues legends, literary giants, NFL stars, and enough political intrigue to keep a small army of bloggers employed. But can it produce a comeback?

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NTSB: Fordice Killed Practicing Aerobatic Routines

A National Transportation Safety Board  investigation preliminary report states Dan Fordice was practicing aerobatics in his P-51 Mustang when he fatally crashed last month.   The aviation enthusiast was the founder of the Warrior Bonfire Project and son of late Governor Kirk Fordice.  The report states: 

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Funny of the Day

Some people's heads will explode when they see this Papa Mississippi video and that's not a bad thing.  

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Double Murder in Simpson County

 The Mississippi Bureau of Investigation issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Superintendents Plead Guilty to $400,000 Embezzlement

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Reversed!

 David l. Archie won his fight to reverse his 2023 election loss. The court threw out the election and ordered a new one be held.  Special Circuit Court Judge Barry ordered a special election be held in 45 days.  

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Robert St. John: The Real Work

 The cooks didn't show up.

Not one of them. Not the prep cook, not the dishwasher, not the line cook who was supposed to be loading in the food delivery by eight. It was 1989. The restaurant was barely two years old. We had a full lunch on the books at eleven and nobody to cook it.

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Fowler Goes to Prison, Attorney & Son Accused of Smuggling Contraband into Jail

Trouble seems to follow Justin Fowler and those around him.  Rankin County Circuit Judge Dewey Arthur revoked his probation and sent him to prison for five years after his attorney, Judy Barnett, and her son after a police report alleged they smuggled contraband to him in the Rankin County jail. 

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Sid Salter: Third of June & Haunting Mystery of Gentry's Ode to Billy Joe' Remains

The lyric is clean and iconic, especially in the Deep South and, most of all, in Mississippi. For those of a certain generation, it instantly evokes a time, a place and a way of life: “It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day, I was out choppin’ cotton and my brother was bailin’ hay.”

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Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Not Quite Gone to the Dogs


Check out Jackson Academy's new neighbor.  

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Wingate Blocks HB #1677

 It will be a while until the Jackson Metro Water Authority can start operations, if it ever does.  U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate approved the city of Jackson's request for an injunction against the Authority yesterday.   The legislature created the Authority earlier this year. 

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New Rules

 Pops Saloon up in Canton is tightening things up.  

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Delayed

Unfortunately, JJ will not be able to post anything until after lunch. The power went out yesterday afternoon and Entergy say the power will not be restored until 10 tonight. I have to be in court this morning, hence the delay. Apologies for the inconvenience.

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Monday, June 1, 2026

More Liquor Stores Declare War on Ruan

 Several liquor stores filed a class action lawsuit against Ruan Transport in federal court last week.   Ruan manages the ABC warehouse and has been the subject of much controversy after it crippled ABC customers this year.  


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Mississippi College is no More

 The Mississippi Christian University issued the following statement. 

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It's Coming

 The Silly Season will soon be upon us. 

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Down With the White Folks

 If you want to see pure stupidity on display, see what Skyhook had to say last week.  

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Prado AI Moving Forward on Data Center Project

Prado AI issued the following statement. 

PraCon Global Investment Group (“PraCon”), through its affiliate PRADO AI INDUSTRIAL, LLC, (“PRADO AI” ), today welcomed the decision of the Mississippi Public Service Commission ("PSC") that leaves intact the plain language of Mississippi law and declines to reinterpret or narrow the long-standing statutory exemption that allows companies to construct, own, and operate electric generation facilities for their own private commercial use without regulation as a public utility. As stated in its Request, PRADO AI's proposed power generation facilities will serve its planned AI data center and AI semiconductor manufacturing campus.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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