Monday, March 25, 2019

The Return of the Beer Wars

Miller Lite apparently didn't take too kindly to this Super Bowl commercial:

and fired back with this one.

and this one....

To which Bud Lite responded:


Anonymous said...

Neither of those brand are worth a shit, and those goes for Coors Light too.

Anonymous said...

If Coors is smart they'll let Bud and Miller hammer each other with million dollar ad campaigns, then when the matter is almost gone cold, Coors should attack them both and announce they are the genuine article. Might work.

Messick said...

Coors and Miller are owned by the same company.

Anonymous said...

There was a time when beer, wine,and whiskey was made and bottled by family firms that took pride in their product and really cared about being the best. Now they are owned by giant congloms that only care about the bottom line and just use the old names to confuse the stupid public. In our present day system quality and profitability mean the same thing. Keep us laughing while they sell this crap.

Anonymous said...

Dilly dilly!

Anonymous said...

Four Brewing Company CEOs find themselves at the same table. The Anheiser-Busch CEO orders a Bud Light, the Miller CEO orders a Miller Lite, the Coors CEO orders a Coors Light, and the Guinness CEO orders a Coke. In response to their puzzled looks, the Guinness CEO explains, "If you lads aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."

Albert Schweitzer said...

Both of their horses have diabetes.

Many terrible things happen as one grows up, but the switch to real beer, rather than this pissant stuff, isn't one.

Looking at the discarded beer cans in my neighborhood, it makes me realize we are victims of ignorant teenagers, who would prefer not to drink real beer. At times someone with more money than sense will throw out a (mostly) used bottle of stella artoise, that pissant belgian beer favored by our recent pissant president, or perhaps a wheat beer.

What poor taste. What a shame.

Our poor teens need to distrust beer ads, network news, and politicians though not particularly in that order.

Anonymous said...

I switched over to Yuengling Light several years go when they started selling it in MS, and I haven't looked back. As far as light beers go, it's about the best out there in terms of not being watered down.

Unknown said...

@ 2:51

Try Southern Prohibition light. I don't drink light beers much, but when I do, it's the best around. You'll thank me later.

Anonymous said...

Busch Light tops them all.

@ 1:22..."The Genuine Article", you might recall, was the description of John Candy's shower-curtain rings. "These are the genuine article". You can't duplicate the humor in that movie. Ever. Not even with beer and popcorn. So back off!

Rod Knox said...

Mississippi Baptists learned to appreciate whichever brand their bootlegger had in stock at the time and Mississippi is a great state for tradition. Today Mississippi's Good Ole Boys buy whatever is closest to the door to quickly get it sacked and out of sight to drink later out of the view of his wife and neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Rod Knocker: I don't remember bootleggers handling beer. In 1960 the Chinese grocery stores were selling beer to anybody who could reach the counter. The rest of your post is bull shit too. You must be a Sunday-Only Deacon.

Anonymous said...

"Coors and Miller are owned by the same company."

So what? Busch and Budweiser are owned by the same company too. But taste nothing similar.

Poontang is Poontang. But that don't apply to beer.

Anonymous said...

Stella Artois. Enough said.

Anonymous said...

Lol posters here complain about any and everything lol

But that Flat Tire is pretty good.

Michelob Classic Dark


Rolling Rock

Of course

Killian Red

Anonymous said...

Partial to Dos Equis Amber myself.

Anonymous said...

715, I don't know when, or where, you grew up but I can assure you that "bootleggers" did handle beer.

In my home county, there were four major bootleggers that sold only liquor - by the half pints. And three bootleggers that sold only beer. In fact, the first 'drive thru window' ever in that part of the state was at a beer bootlegger. Drive around back of the auto glass shop, they slid the window open to ask for your order, took your money and handed you a cold one. Or, of course, a six pack. Handled all brands: Schlitz, Bud, PBR, Jax and Dixie.

Anonymous said...

I don’t care for light beer. Make mine Guinness Stout please.

Messick said...

It's too bad Jackson doesn't have a reliable domestic water source, as that was the demise of its lone craft brewery.

SMDH, as the kids say...

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to Falstaff? That was my daddy's beer. I'd like a can to put by the porch as a memorial.

Anonymous said...

"I switched over to Yuengling Light several years go when they started selling it in MS, and I haven't looked back. As far as light beers go, it's about the best out there in terms of not being watered down." Now that's funny!

Anonymous said...

Schmitz quart was a staple in the mid 1960s.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS