Saturday, March 2, 2019

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Readers wanting some James Bond on the cheap might want to check out Amazon Prime.  All six seasons of the The Saint TV series are now available.  International intrigue, jet-setting sets, and some good ole-fashioned action are served up on a regular basis.   The series stars a young Roger Moore.  The first four seasons are in black and white.  Enjoy.


Anonymous said...

*Yawn* Boooooorring!
Fuddy duddy TV

Anonymous said...

The previous post on JJ reads like a Spectre attendee meeting (see the 300 endorsing Gold Blubber). If you want to hear James Bond audiobooks (and Raymond Chandler), YouTube has a free channel.

Anonymous said...

I’m sure Roger Moore was a great guy but I never really saw him as James Bond. He’s more like James Bond’s Robin or Tanto

StarRider said...

It comes on more than once (not sure exactly how many) every day on one of the antenna channels I get. Not that great truthfully, I always thought Moore was smug to the point of needing to be slapped as Bond, and he is far worse on "Saint". YMMV. I put up a giant flagpole at my shop and attached a TV antenna to it before standing it up, I like the results so well I think I'm going to do the same at my house and just get rid of the DirecTV. I can watch stuff that is just as boring, except there won't be a bill.

Anonymous said...

Sean Connery will always be "my" Bond (though I do like Daniel Craig). I never cared for Sir Roger Moore at all and haven't watched any of his movies more than once.

As for British spy-fi, I prefer the Avengers.

Anonymous said...

Not that I'm too terribly surprised, but you big-bragging Central Mississippi rubes just got it all wrong. Again. Look, if y'all wanna get together in some shitty breakfast room in Eastover with a bunch of offensively overpriced Harvey Guzzini lamps illuminating some nasty designer linoleum floor that looks like Bill Blass might have died on it while your very own smugly entitled version of Bunker's Meathead smirks around your back yard whilst waiting to get the high sign to head over to Belhaven so he can schtupp one of the bored and lovely creatures who once a long time ago tightened it up and married one of your friends, same thing happened with all of your friends, with you. She still remembers that Saint-like cool you exuded in y'all's first apartment in New Haven or on Sewanee while you were busting your ass and charting a future. Then you got into bullshit, all those fucking Joe Don Baker movies, the novelty of porn. That millennial muppet driving your 75k sedan back up to Oxford later that afternoon, though? He has a little something that -- indeed, as the cliche goes -- money can't buy. Nor can you trade your embarrassing 4H Club aesthetics for, nor your -- let's just call it what it is now -- broad stroked shitty taste. All of it. Whatever it is, you hate the coolest and love the worst, the anti-coolest. If only you could remember how cool Culp and Cosby handled their shit in I, Spy; how Roger Moore exuded the very essence of being cool, calm and collected (you remember that Stones song, right? Right?), traipsing through the last bit of the social wreckage that the Sixties were ripping up and burning to ash with sleek style and a knowing winks and the best King's Row suits. If you could see The Saint as, say, not a yawning maw of boring stories, but instead as maybe the 60's television equivalent of, say, Thomas Hardy, then I bet you'd find it so much more interesting. And, take it from me, you'll definitely get laid a lot more and she'll never know it was some freaky celluloid trip magic that brought the buzz and heat back to the manse. Shit, you can thank me for saving y'all's lives some other time. Go find her and fuck her like she's Daria Halprin... Finally, the gent who said something to the effect of The Avengers being the best show ever made....? You sir, are correct. You've won 2 hits of mescaline and the Billy Nichols LP with the Small Faces. Enjoy! Watch better TV! Or, fuck it. Turn it all off. Holler back with your thoughts on MeTV's "The Joey Bishop Show", though. That's some bullshit. Yikes!

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS