Friday, March 5, 2010

JJ gets a Cease & Desist letter

Update: Farm Bureau sent a second cease and desist letter, if it is Farm Bureau, of course. Apparently Mr. Waide himself is behind this one: "The previous letter you received and this letter are authentic, authorized by Mississippi Farm Bureau Federation President." In other words, Mr. Waide himself is probably behind this one. It ended: "If you refuse to remove the FARM BUREAU® mark from the blog, you will be subject to legal action under state and federal law." My response was the same as written below and included state law. Copy of letter


Well, what do you know, I got someone's attention. Someone purporting to be Mississippi Farm Bureau sent me a Cease and Desist Letter last night. I say purporting because it was not signed nor was any name such as an attorney listed. The letter states:

"It has come to our attention that you are using the FARM BUREAU® logo on your
website (http://kingfish1935.blogspot.com/) without our express written permission.
Please note that we allow use of our logo only if we have granted express written
permission; see http://msfbins.com/disclaimer.asp. Such unauthorized use constitutes
trademark infringement and unfair competition under both federal and state laws. It
misleads consumers into believing that some association exists between you and Farm
Bureau; and it weakens the ability of the FARM BUREAU® mark and name to identify a
single source, namely, Farm Bureau." Letter

Oh really? It does? Lets look at some law first. Federal law states:

"the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright." 17 U.S.C. 107 link

The Mississippi Code, you know, state law, further affirms this use of copyrights or trademarks if used in criticism, comments, or news reporting:

"(d) The following shall not be actionable under this section:
1) Any fair use, including a nominative or descriptive fair use, or facilitation of such fair use, of a famous mark by another person other than as a designation of source for the person's own goods or services, including use in connection with:
(B) Identifying and parodying, criticizing, or commenting upon the famous mark owner or the goods or services of the famous mark owner;
(2) Noncommercial use of the mark; and
(3) All forms of news reporting and news commentary
."
Mississippi Code Section 75-25-25

The American Bar Association has even weighed in on this subject:
"The fair use of copyrighted works for purposes such as criticism or comment is
not an infringement of copyright. See 17 U.S.C. § 107. The idea of fair use
reflects copyright law’s careful consideration of First Amendment principles, as
fair use permits later authors “to use a previous author’s copyright to introduce
new ideas or concepts to the public.” SunTrust Bank v. Houghton Mifflin Co., 268
F.3d 1257, 1265 (11th Cir. 2001).....

The Supreme Court has unequivocally held that a parody may qualify as fair use
under § 107. According to the Court, a parody is the “use of some elements of a
prior author’s composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on
that author’s works.” Id. at 580. Like other forms of comment or criticism,
parody can provide social benefit, “by shedding light on an earlier work, and, in
the process, creating a new one.” Id. In other words, parodies can be considered
“transformative” works, as opposed to merely “superseding” works....
ABA paper

It should be obvious to all this is a news and commentary website but then again, we are dealing with a company who seriously thought the animal cruelty bill would affect soybean and corn production. Jackson Jambalaya is a website of "commentary, politics, culture, and jackassery in Jackson, Mississippi". This description is posted at the TOP OF THE PAGE for everyone to see. This site has been cited as a news source by several tv stations, newspapers, and websites. Commentary and parodies are published from on a regular basis as well.

The use of the Farm Bureau logo was a form of commentary and use of parody to further the point of said commentary. It was reported by WLBT and the Columbus Packet that the Farm Bureau, led by its President David Waide, led the fight to kill Senate Bill #2623. MFB's own newsletter this year stated it opposed the bill. It is the position of this commentator that if Mississippi Farm Bureau led the effort against a bill narrowly tailored to make animal cruelty a felony under some circumstances, then MFB's involvement should be pointed out and made known to the public. Unfortunately for Mississippi Farm Bureau, its successful attempt to kill #2623 means burning a dog to death or shooting a cat through the head with an arrow for sport will remain misdemeanors. Mississippi Farm Bureau was not interested in compromise or "fixing" the bill but instead decided to use its club and kill it.

Mississippi Farm Bureau's goals and tactics to achieve such goals in the legislature are merely an exercise in their rights to free speech and petitioning their government. MFB needs to remember such rights apply to everyone else as well. Mississippi Farm Bureau has done many good things for Mississippi over the years and stands up for the farmers when the radical environmentalists and yes, the PETA nuts try to force their extremist positions on the rest of society. It is indeed the farmers who are the salt of America and have helped build up this great country. However, there are times when Mississippi Farm Bureau is wrong and this is one of those times.

The MFB sign was used in a non-commercial way and can not be construed under any interpretation that it is competitive in nature. To imply this website used such logos in a commercial manner is specious and clear evidence of MFB attempt to make an argument in bad faith. Jackson Jambalaya is exercising its rights under the fair use sections of federal and state law when it uses the MFB sign and logo in news articles, commentaries, and parodies.

73 comments:

Curt Crowley said...

Fuck Farm Bureau.

Anonymous said...

"Unfair competition." What, precisely, were you selling that they are?

What a bunch of phucktards. Yeah, I bet it would have hurt the soybeans and corn if that bill had passed.

They pushed it. They openly pushed killing (no pun intended in this context) the bill before communities.

Own up to it. You did it, Farm Bureau. You did it. And people won't forget. Tons of folks will make sure they won't forget. Soybeans and corn. I'll say it again, soybeans and corn.

Anonymous said...

Dirt bags. MFB can take their scare tactic and stick it where the sun don't shine, b/c they sure don't want the sun shining on them over support of animal abuse as a misdemeanor.

Anonymous said...

So will I get sued for copyright infringement is I say "Farm Bureau Sucks"?

Anonymous said...

Animals abusers and torturers pose an indisputable (ask the FBI or any forensic psychologist) danger to people - if they don't care enough about animals to protect them, maybe they should educate themselves about the risk these perps pose to humans.

Anonymous said...

He should send them this:

http://www.wolfgangsvault.com/CatalogDetail.aspx?ItemNumber=SQP690224&ProductTypeID=FP&aid=11681

Anonymous said...

that was the exact point of the bill, to keep people safe. Perhaps we all should join the FB and call Waide's office, tell him we are elated he is leaving that office to try to run for another one, where he will get buried. Just a thought.....

Chas Jones said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

so can i buy some insurance from you kingfish? i'm confused

:)

Anonymous said...

Wow. I really hope this gets picked up by somebody, FB's tactics need to be exposed across the state.

BTW, "Cease and Desist" letters are meant to bully. They figure 99% of recipients will fold in the face of a "threat." Somehow, I don't think KF is the folding type.

You are hitting them where it hurts, KF -- if you weren't scoring some points, they wouldn't care. I'll bet your use of their logo was "brought to their attention" by people emailing your posts to FB members!

Anonymous said...

Guest Editorial
Animal Cruelty issue still needs work

David Waide, President
Mississippi Farm Bureau Federation

Mississippi Farm Bureau has taken quite a bit of criticism for opposing legislation which would make cruelty to dogs and cats a first offense felony. Farm Bureau is adamantly opposed to the cruelty, abuse, or mistreatment of any animals.
We are working diligently toward a solution to this problem. We did offer a compromise bill in both the House and Senate and supported that bill, but the bill did not make it through the legislative process. We did have the support of several other influential animal welfare groups. We will continue to work toward a solution to this problem as we move through the next session of the Legislature.
Animal activist spokespeople declare that the legislation that Farm Bureau was concerned about this year dealt only with cruelty to dogs and cats. Farm Bureau’s concern is that this type legislation will be used as a vehicle to open avenues for activists to extend their reach and push other, more extreme agendas.
The risk of their causing the discontinuation of practices that have proven to be humane and efficient methods for raising livestock on our farms is quite real. It has happened in at least four states across the country where this type legislation has already been enacted. In those states, livestock farmers are being driven out of business because of misconceptions by the public due to allegations levied by animal activist groups.
It is critical to our membership that our nation’s consumers continue to have an affordable, abundant supply of safe, domestically-produced food. Not all of us are agricultural producers, but everyone consumes agricultural products.

Anonymous said...

If I may delicately interprete KF's commentary and edit it down to the finer point he is attempting to address.

FUCK YOU FARM BUREAU, YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF ME ! ! !

Anonymous said...

Animals raised for their meat should also be treated as kindly as possible, including being put to death in the quickest, least painful manner. This is not extreme - it's humans being humane.

Anonymous said...

David, why didn't you raise that point about "working diligently" in the Col. article where they talked about how you needed to kill it in committee.

You are fucking full of shit you assshole.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Damn it David. I want an explanation about SOYBEANS and CORN. Explain. This is abhorrent that a "leader" (president of MFB) would think his little meeting no one would ever pay attention to would suddenly become public fodder for criticism. His editorial piece aside, talk to us like intelligent adults and explain your comments from your meeting up North. I would think the BOD would want to know about matters such as this and the fact no clear reason/rationale has been given to explain his actions and comments.

He has to know he cost himself a lot of political capital on this one when he ponders running for governor. Think about it, all this is right there for the PR folks to take hold of and run with it.

Anonymous said...

I would love to be a fly on the wall in Mr. Waide's office as these posts, comments, criticisms show up. I bet he is chomping at the bit. Or wetting his pants.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Waide -- You're willing to work on a "good bill" next year? That's what you said LAST year, and yet we have no bill ONCE AGAIN. If you actually did propose legislation, apparently it was pretty bad because no one ran with it.

All of FB's arguments against the bill fall flat.

Radical animal rights nuts aren't going to wait for the law to give them a perceived opening to target an industry. The reason they haven't successful here is NOT because there is no animal cruelty felony, it's because THIS IS MISSISSIPPI and their message would be flat as a pancake here.

What amazes me is the complete lack of PR sophistication show by Waide and MFB. Do you guys realize that you have set yourselves up as the people who are OK with torturing the family cat or little Susie's beloved collie? Seriously -- you have made this "Farm Bureau vs. Puppies and Kittens." All you need next is a picture of David Waide kicking a toddler or knocking down an elderly woman and the image will be complete.

Anonymous said...

OK, didn't mean to do that twice -- I wrote it the fist time and it never appeared so I tried again.

Anonymous said...

Anyone got a picture of DW kicking a dog, holding a bow, lighting a match?

Anonymous said...

Isn't Waide using the Farm Bureau to circulate petitions to qualify a ballot initiative addressing eminent domain?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

INITIATIVE MEASURE NO. 31

SPONSOR: Mr. David Waide, PO Box 1972, Jackson, MS 39215

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Mr. Waide, this post is coming from an individual that worked in trying to passing this legislation, Kim Wolford. I find it offensive that you lump all animal welfare groups as "animal rights" activists because you are completely ignorant and uneducated about the subject. If you truly wanted to work with us, you would not have agreed to not oppose the bill and then go back on your word. If this is what we can expect from a man who would like to run for governor, then I think we can all safely assume this is the type of behavior we can expect should you actually obtain that office. Should that happen, I think we can all safely say you are soft on crime and that's bad for everyone. Mississippi deserves better than this.

stilettoGOP said...

"Hey you guys, let's send a cease and desist letter to that Jackson Jambalaya fella!" And then they all went back to playing pin the tail on the lab puppy (literally) followed by guess-that-cat-splat.

Well played with the letter to Kingfish, Farm Bureau, well played. How's it working out for you?

Anonymous said...

And BTW, Mr. Waide, exactly what other "influential groups" are you speaking about? Absolutley no other group supported your bill. Please name them for us. Kim Wolford

Kingfish said...

All right, some of the personal attacks I zapped. There is enough to criticize Farm Bureau and Mr. Waide on the issue without delving into personal lives. I've got the best damn commentors out of any website in this state. keep it that way. ;-)

historian said...

Waide's "guest editorial" is a joke. FB did file a bill in the Senate - don't think there was one in the house - and the only difference in the "dog and cat" section was that FB wanted a felony only after the crazy person's third time to get caught. As if burning a dog once, and another one is ok. They never could explain why the third time didn't hurt production agriculture as they claimed the first offense would.
He claims to be "adamently opposed" to torture to dogs and cats. No he's not - he's opposed only after you get caught two prior times.
And to claim they are working on a compromise is more of a joke. Their idea of compromise is as long as everybody agrees with them, its a good compromise. FB was not willing to compromise at all on this bill. They held a meeting to discuss it, then ignored all comments from anyone other than those that agreed with their original position.
Waide claims that they had the support of "several other influential animal groups". Another lie. The only animal groups that supported their bill were the "puppy mill operators" and two "groups" that consist of two members in one and three members in the other - clearly front organizations to try to provide a shield to Waide and his cronies.
Ask him to produce the "other influential animal groups" that he claims supported their position. IDA and MALL have no members - just a front organization.
FB has rightly opposed previous animal welfare legislation presented by some other out of state organizations in years past - those bills covered a wide swatch of area that could provide problems for agriculture in MS. But this bill was carefully crafted to cover only DOMESTIC dogs and cats. And it contained EVERY exception and exclusion that FB included in their bill. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE was that FB wanted to let people burn or torture a dog or cat three times before being subject to a felony where this legislation said that these crazy people should be restricted from working in nursing homes or elementary schools after their first conviction.
Waide will long regret this idiotic position - saying that providing for a felony for torturing a dog or cat could hurt soybean or corn production in MS. Shows what a joke he - and now his organization - is.

Kaptain Kangaroo said...

Awww, I'm kinda blushing, "best damn commenters" and the most I called him was a dirt bag b/c I was at work and couldn't post under my name...

Love ya' too! Ooooo and that Stilleto chickadee!!!

;-)

And I might have said something to the effect of "political capital" and his future effectiveness as a political "leader". But who cares, I feel like a million bucks. This douchebag DW should speak up and own up; wait, from my point of view on the wall, he's wetting his pants. Betcha' he'll never have the integrity to share with us his answers to our questions. And yes, that should burn his ass! I'm waiting for someone to find a pic of him in assless chaps holding a bow and arrow, a holstered flamethrower, and of course, his foot stuck up his dog's behind! And a full on smile... ;-)

Anonymous said...

FB did file a bill in the Senate - don't think there was one in the house - and the only difference in the "dog and cat" section was that FB wanted a felony only after the crazy person's third time to get caught.

Waide must be a graduate of the Cecil Brown School of Accountability.

Anonymous said...

Any numbskull who gets caught abusing an animal in David Waide's alternative reality will be damn careful to evade detection the next time they decide to torch a pet.

Dear David Waide said...

Regarding your latest threat.

Better find a way damn quick into the future. This ain't your old Mississippi where you can browbeat people to do you will.

STFU and GFYS

Anonymous said...

Are they sending you these letters via email KF?

Anonymous said...

Just to clarify a minor point on the 539pm post regarding "GFYS". Yourself is one word so the correct method addressing Mr. Waide in proper English would be, "Go fuck yourself."

Anonymous said...

Just a minor point related to the 539 post. GFYS is incorrect. Yourself is one word. The correct means to address Mr. Waide in proper English would be, "Go fuck yourself."

KF does have standards of etiquette to uphold in comments.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Waide, you should know that the public is growing wiser and more informed.

I really don't know how you could write such a letter. Either you believe it , which means you are poorly informed and/or advised or what transpired in other states and the LAW OR you don't believe what you wrote.

You certainly are trying to hide behind a bill you " supported" that you knew was bad and would never pass so you can claim to be against animal abuse.

You ignore the FACT that violent offenders who attack strangers and serial killers have a history of animal abuse. You wish to bar early identification of these people( something this bill would accomplish). YOU want to wait until they kill or rape or torture a human before they come to the attention of authorities.

It is my hope the fear tactic of a straw external threat(in this case, PETA IS COMING,PETA IS COMING) or characterizing your opponents as dupes of extreme animal rights activists so that you can flex your political muscle and keep legislators in line won't work at all much longer.

You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time as Lincoln pointed out and I hope your " some of the time" is up!
You have certainly damaged Farm Bureau's credibility and will take down more than a few of your legislative pals with you.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Does the person(s) writing the letter understand proper English and grammar, "authorized by Mississippi Farm Bureau Federation President." Can we send it back and ask for a "THE" to be added?

Do the writers equate MFBFP and POTUS as having similar authority?

Anonymous said...

What a moron.

Anonymous said...

Just to clarify a minor point on the 539pm post regarding "GFYS". Yourself is one word so the correct method addressing Mr. Waide in proper English would be, "Go fuck yourself."

LMAO

Anonymous said...

INCOMING.

Kingfish said...

All right, I zapped a couple more. Got to be a little careful. Keep in mind there were other posts involving other subjects in the past where supporters came on this site posting slanderous information and then turned around and tried to blame me for it.

Anonymous said...

Waide can't fathom the online woe he's unleashed.

Anonymous said...

6:27 No moron.

Anonymous said...

What I find funny is that is not a "guest editorial".

Read title from MFB Federation...


Mississippi Farm Bureau Federation
Agricultural News and Information

Greg Gibson, Coordinator
Public Relations / Multimedia
1-800-227-8244 ext. 4154
or 601-977-4154
email: ggibson@msfb.com
Animal Cruelty issue still needs work

David Waide, President
Mississippi Farm Bureau Federation

[Article omitted]

http://www.msfb.com/News/news%20releases/100305%20Animal%20Cruelty%20issue%20still%20needs%20work.aspx

Anonymous said...

HOLY aborted SHEEP! It's not illegal for me to abort sheep so I guess its ok for me to say "BULLSHIT". They really want to up the stakes on this? I find it funny, where is Ed Peters when you need him?

I do believe you have upset Mr. Waide's political aspirations on this one because, again, no signatory. No sane individual will ever sign their name to something that is "BULLSHIT". We are certainly an intelligent enough constituency to see through veiled threats.

Really? Did they actually send a second letter to say the first letter was real? Really? It looks more like a bit of entrapment in some regards, but if true, wow. Just wow.

Anonymous said...

KF, I rarely agree with you on anything, but you are dead on about this...keep up the good fight...Farm Bureau, please join the rest of us in the 21st Century...

Anonymous said...

Friday, thank you King, stay on this one, Ch. 3 had a pretty good story on this @ 6

paul mitchell said...

And there is your comment bomb. Dang.

(Not checking the "Email follow up comments" box!)

Anonymous said...

you naive dipshits, FB doesn't know you exist. you are all a few farts in a tornadoe as far as they are concerned.

Anonymous said...

Take a trip through Greg Ward's campaign finance reports and you'll find he is owned by PACs and Billy McCoy. Make no mistake folks. Billy McCoy buried this bill.

Anonymous said...

8:43 FB may not know we exist but we now know them by name thanks to KF and the bloggers. Waide and Gibson are now known to me as dishonorable men. There are some things honorable men just don't do for money.And, SMART dishonorable men know better than to attach their name publicly to garbage.
Mississippi is a small world and eventually,dumb, dishonorable men pay a price...a social one if not a legal one.
There's a long list of men who imagined themselves powerful and just aren't anymore.

Anonymous said...

you naive dipshits, FB doesn't know you exist. you are all a few farts in a tornadoe as far as they are concerned.

Thank you anonymous nobody. Your admonition is MEANINGLESS.

Anonymous said...

I dare say Mr. Waide that there are a fair number of attorneys in these parts who would be more than happy to help Kingfish give you an ass whuppin' should you be so stupid.

Anonymous said...

Went to the FB site and saw Waide's photo as well as the " news release" on animal cruelty.

I nearly burst out laughing.

This man has political ambitions ?

GOP Stilletto, have you SEEN Waide?

Dog ugly men shouldn't be against protecting dogs! LOL

Even without this current brouhaha, he'd never get the women's vote and now even legally blind women will be turned off :-)

We'll vote for ugly and smart or compassionate... a toad can be adorable... but mean ugly...NEVER!

And, KF, if you guys can "do" women's looks, you gotta let us gals have a say about the looks of men with political ambition in the limelight.

Anonymous said...

that letter is obviously a fraud ,otherwise it would have been signed.


btw, you dont think FB (and its core business has an interest in keeping PETA or some radical version, away from mississippi's farmers?

PETA and their like are interested in destroying things. It is the height of naivity not to think that this would give PETA or similar , a strong tool.

Anonymous said...

1) So apparently FB has some well-researched data that shows you have to burn at least three puppies or kittens alive before it has a negative effect on corn plants or soybeans. Ask them to produce it.

2) This tool is seriously considering running for gov? Let's see, how long do you think it will take an opponent to print up some ads and posters featuring the poor puppies that have been burned alive (like the photos that some previous posters have found so upsetting, and rightfully so) with the caption "David Waide" fought to keep people who do this from going to jail?

Anonymous said...

Sorry - end quote should have been after "jail", not "Waide".

Anonymous said...

Well, if everyone on this blog would really like to stick it the FB, go the the website of MS-FACT and find out how to donate $$ to them. I know what they have planned for Waide and they need to raise about $2,000. I have to say it is beyond brilliant. Too bad I didn't think of it. And whoever wrote about the double cross by Waide is EXACTLY right. That is exactly what happened. I know because I was a part of it. Again, if you really want to stick it to Waide, try to help fund the project.

Anonymous said...

I have seen the women running that group and they a bunch of blonde babes!!!!!

Alexander said...

Classic prelude to a SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation). MFB should be reminded that losing a trademark or copyright suit on the basis of fair use can expose them to liability for the other side's legal fees.

Anonymous said...

NOBODY is FOR animal cruelty ! ! !

but KF, you were trying to insinuate that FB is for animal cruelty.

case closed.... pay 1 million dollars to FB or change the name of this website to JacksonFreeJambalaya and start serving.

Anonymous said...

Well, if everyone on this blog would really like to stick it the FB, go the the website of MS-FACT and find out how to donate $$ to them.

YO, 10:30 AM. Is there a paypal link or something similar over there? I'm not seeing it. Will happily kick in some greenbacks.

Anonymous said...

Too much big money is tied up in dog fighting. There. I said it. It crosses all classes.

Anonymous said...

9:42 where do you LIVE? I live in MISSISSIPPI. If you are REALLY fearful of PETA gaining a threatening foothold HERE, you need meds for paranoia.

GEEZ, the invasion of the PETAs...what a plot that is! Right up there with alien flowers and fruit and about as realistic!

Anonymous said...

9:42 Where do you LIVE?
This is MISSISSIPPI. IF you SERIOUSLY believe PETA could be a real threat to our farmers, you need meds for paranoia.
You think there's going to be a PETA invasionary force to back up the, oh, handful ( if any) members here?
Get REAL

Anonymous said...

10:56 Ever heard of " not to decide is to decide"? When FB worked to kill this bill, they, in effect, supported animal cruelty and every psychopath engaged in it.
Aid and abet is another concept you might look up.
Poor FB, too damn dumb to think they could pull this off and not get flack? No, just too damn arrogant!
Give me a break!

Kingfish said...

They also have to file a bond with the court first, which they forfeit if they lose the case.

Anonymous said...

I saw Waife post here it was too obvious. BTW I tell everone I come in contact with, attorneys, common annonymous professionals about JJ and as of recent about Waife's political blunder. And most of them are known Den supporters. Most follow up with - he's toast politically after they do their own digging past JJ.

Anonymous said...

Look, it's a news release posted on MFB's website with Waide's name attached.
I don't know if Waide can write in complete sentences or not. Maybe one of his hirelings wrote the piece. It doesn't matter. Once it went out as a news release on his behalf with his name, he is responsible for the content.
It's good he's resigned. He should have been FIRED long ago and his public relations person needs to go , too if he's this inept.

Anonymous said...

The internet is a bitch of a thing. Phuck FB. Too bad they are getting their hand called.

Anonymous said...

For those who asked and would like to help, MS-FACT is applying for 501(C)(4) status and we are waiting for the documents to come back. We can't use paypal until we get it back. In the meantime, we can cash checks made out to MS-FACT, PO Box 1485, Madison MS 39130 Thank you in advance...

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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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