Friday, July 26, 2024

The Million-Dollar Bank Fraud

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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State Auditor to Discuss Book at MCPP Luncheon

 The Mississippi Center for Public Policy issued the following press release. 

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Baseball Coach Doesn't Slide Home

It appears someone got some shuteye at the Gluckstadt Sonic before taking out Gluckstadt's railroad crossing Wednesday night.  

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Things That Bring a Tear To My Eyes

The first experience that comes to mind is the ending of one of my favorite movies, Field of Dreams.

 
"Hea, Dad? You want to have a catch"

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Thursday, July 25, 2024

Aftermath

 The Police Activity Youtube channel just dropped nearly 30 minutes of police body cam footage shot immediately after the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania.  The video can be watched at Youtube.  

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Coming Soon in Technicolor

 One of the all-time great movies is coming to Jackson for not one but TWO days in August.  Yes, Lawrence of Arabia, the same movie spoofed in Full Metal Jacket, is showing August 11 and 12.  Peter O'Toole, Anthony Quinn, Claude Rains, Omar Sharif, and Obi Wan Kenobi make up what is truly an Allstar cast.  Throw in a killer soundtrack and what you have is a cinematic masterpiece.  

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Uvalde, Pennsylvania Update

 Just when you think the news from Butler can not get any worse, a new tidbit of information comes out that casts the Not-So-Secret Service in a light that is none too flattering. Whistleblowers claim that  not only did the Secret Service not deploy a drone at former President Trump's rally, the Secret Service rejected offers of drone assistance from local law enforcement agencies.  

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It's a Conspiracy!

It'a all a conspiracy.  Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba blamed this website's coverage of the Smith-Wills Stadium lease on - wait for it - a grand conspiracy.  Yup.  Move over birtherism and trutherism, we now have us a new one.  Watch the video.  

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Rescheduled!

The Mississippi Supreme Court hearing for Carlos the Clown has been rescheduled for August.  Presiding Judge Leslie King decreed yesterday: 

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Health Dept. Offers Free Transportation

 The Mississippi State Department of Health issued the following statement. 

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Wednesday, July 24, 2024

Brett Favre's Partner Pleads Guilty in DHS Scandal

Another domino fell in the DHS scandal today when Brett Favre's business partner, Jacob Vanlandingham, pleaded guilty to wire fraud in U.S. District Court today.   

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Robert St. John: Breakfast by the Bay

Check out the recipe for duck hunters below. 

SAN FRANCISCO— Whenever I'm in a new city always go to the front desk of the hotel and ask, “Where is the best independent breakfast joint?” I tell them, “I want to go to the place where the old men are sitting around a table every morning talking about sports and politics.” It never fails, that's the place I'm going to learn more about a city or town. That's also the place where I will typically get the most authentic local breakfast.

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Pit Bulls Maul Woman & Dog

 An account of a pit bull attack in Ridgewood Park appeared on social media this week.  Actually calling it a "pit bull attack" is somewhat misleading as the attack involved not one, not two, not three, but four pit bulls.  Of course, the victim got no help from JPD.  She posted: 

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Sid Salter: Biden's Choice More Like Wilson's in '20 than LBJ's in '68

The easy political comparison to President Joe Biden’s decision to with withdraw from the 2024 U.S. presidential race is to point to incumbent Democratic President Lyndon Baines Johnson’s decision not to seek the presidential nomination of his party in the 1968 campaign.

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Tuesday, July 23, 2024

The Curse of Voodoo

 Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement. 

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She's Gone!

 Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle resigned her position.  The Wall Street Journal reported:

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State to Pay Anthony Fox

Although it's small consolation, the state of Mississippi will pay Anthony Fox $75,617 for his wrongful incarceration.   

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Just Chillin'

Drugs and mental health cases continue to plague the streets of Jackson as exhibited in the video posted below.   This episode took place on Woodrow Wilson. Warning: Psychological & physical nudity present in video.

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Monday, July 22, 2024

Idiot of the Day

Just watch this clip from the Secret Service hearing this morning.

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Mayor Holds Regular Briefing

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba is holding his regular press briefing right now.  The presser is streamed below. 

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Blood on His Hands.

 The husband of the missing Latasha Coleman was killed in a shootout yesterday at the McDowell Road Shell Station in Jackson.  However, Mrs. Coleman probably would. not have been missing and presumably killed if not for Hinds County Court Judge Johnny McDaniels.  

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Porch Pirate Alert

 It looks like we got ourselves a porch pirate in Belhaven. 

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Lock & Load

 The Jackson Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Sunday, July 21, 2024

Biden Quits Race, Endorses Harris

 President Joe Biden announced he is withdrawing from the 2024 Presidential election.   

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Sprinkles of Blessings

"I think in our seecular society we've so secularized our approach to God and everything else that gradually what used to be the Lord's Day become part of a weekend. What used to be something we said, "Lord, I love you", now we're literally saying "Lord, I love you less. I love me more. My pleasure is more important than your worship.... Maybe we need a new hymn book for modern Christians. Instead of singing "I surrender all", we sing "I surrender some." Instead of singing "There shall be showers of blessings, it shall be "sprinkles of blessings". "Fill my cup, Lord" should be changed to "fill my spoon, Lord. "Have thine own way" might be changed to "Maybe some of the time," preached the late Dr. Frank Pollard as he discussed the holiness of the Sabbath.    The 1996 sermon is posted below. 

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Bill Crawford: Project 25 Envisions Partisan Federal Bureaucracy

“Three months before the end of his presidency, Donald Trump quietly issued Executive Order 13957, allowing the conversion of some federal civil service jobs to excepted service under a new classification, Schedule F,” reported a Spring 2024 Cato Institute publication. “If a position was reclassified, the president could fire its occupant at will and install a successor without going through the civil service hiring and placement process.

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Saturday, July 20, 2024

The Return of the Lying King

It's been thirty years since Scamba, I meant Simba, graced the cinema. Yup, the Lion King will be playing at local theatres next week. Nature, diversity, ghosts, and Darth Vader. What else do you need for the perfect movie? The showtimes are posted below. Be sure and check the AM's and PM's as they are kid-friendly.

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Falkor Returns

 Falkor escaped The Nothing and returns to the big screen next week. If you want to watch this blast from the past, check out the showtimes posted below.

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Postponed!

 The oral arguments in Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance v. Carlos Moore, Municipal Court Judge are postponed.  The proceeding was scheduled for Tuesday but Mr. Moore asked for a continuance due to a death in the family of his attorney, Terris Harris.  

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D.L. Gardner: It's Not About Democracy, Politics, or Policy. It's About Hate

It’s not about democracy. It’s about hate. As a public celebrity Donald J. Trump was ridiculed even before he rode the escalator to announce his candidacy for president in 2015. No one believed Americans would elect him president. Hillary Clinton’s campaign was a sure thing. She was next in line and the political establishment backed her fully.

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Friday, July 19, 2024

Suspect in Madison Drive-By Shooting Arrested

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement.

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Wicker Calls for SS Director's Resignation

 United States Senator Roger Wicker issued the following statement. 

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Entering Valhalla

Rest in peace, hero, rest in peace.  You were what we should all aspire to be.   

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No Comment!

Last Call is apparently not just for alcohol.   

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MCPP: Inches From a Civil Crisis

Had Donald Trump tilted his head the other way, the bullet that clipped his ear would have killed him. America was half an inch away from a major civil crisis.

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Former MDA Director to Help Hinds County Development

 The Hinds County Economic Development Authority issued the following statement. 

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The Origin of BBQ

For no good reason that I can remember, I recently decided to give my good friend ZeroBear PolyBear a shot at authoring one of my weekly posts. Here it comes:


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Thursday, July 18, 2024

Throwback Thursday

 Maggie, Bert, Walt, Woody, Rube, and the rest of the gang are back in this edition of Throwback Thursday.  Enjoy. 

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Jackson Partners w/Colombian Cities in Baseball Venture

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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MPACT Investments Soar

 State Treasurer David McRae today announced Mississippi Prepaid Affordable College Tuition (MPACT) investments earned 9.5 percent in FY2024, far exceeding the 5.75 percent targets.

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The Ballad of Rudy Continues

 Rudy Warnock filed an unopposed motion to continue his trial scheduled for August 5.  U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate has not ruled on the motion. 

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The Stoplights of Jackson

The City of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Uvalde, Pennsylvania Update

 Think comparing Butler to Uvalde is a wee bit extreme? Guess again.  The Daily Muck reported some rather chilling information about Secret Service negligence and incompetence that took place Saturday: 

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Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Juvenile Delinquents Convicted in Arson Case

 Insurance Commish Mike Chaney issued the following statement. 

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Chancellor Rules on Dau Mabil's Autopsy

The late Dau Mabil's widow won another round in the fight over an independent autopsy  of his remains.

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Please Support Jackson Jambalaya

 It's time for Jackson Jambalaya's annual fund-raising drive.  Your support makes this website possible and it would not have made it this far without you. JJ led the way in reporting on the Jackson water crisis and covered stories the media would not touch, right.  However, the need for your support remains as strong as ever. 

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Robert St. John: To the Morning

One of the more unique and unusual pleasures of my life is sitting in the stillness of one of our restaurant dining rooms at dawn before anyone arrives. I like to go in early, before anyone is there, and just “be” in the space. There is something about the solitude of that act in those rooms that inspires me.

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Lyin' Lumumba: Jackson Zoo Edition

The Mayor often makes up facts as he goes along (state doesn't pay its water bills, anyone?) and Monday's press conference was no exception. 

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Sid Salter: Trump Shooting Shows How Off The Rails Our Politics Is

If we are the American people we are supposed to be we are this week pausing from the caustic political exchanges on social media and thanking God for the fact that the assassination attempt at the campaign rally for former President Donald Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania did not end in a state funeral.

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Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Idiot of the Day

Check out what Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle told ABC News.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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