Friday, November 30, 2007

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Wow. Latest on Tiger Coaching Drama

This is floating around several LSU message boards:
Not sure the source and this may be on here already but this is interesting!!!!! From a connected source:
1- Pellini is taking the Nebraska job. It was done in the last 2 days but has been worked on for a few weeks. They did not know about Arkansas meeting with Pellini.
2- Something happened this weekend at LSU. Miles stepped up efforts for the Michigan job and has people rallying others for support. The feeling is mutual with a few big time donors and skip. Both parties are wanting to go seperate ways. LSU knows it cannot fire him so they hope he takes the job to Michigan. It is a mutual feeling of hope for seperation. BTW, Bertman didn't know about the Pellini interview and blew a gasket internally. It was ugly.
3- My sources have spoken with agents and as of a few days ago, Spurrier was not interested in the LSU job. Now, that can change and change quickly. Right now, Spurrier is not interested no matter what you read. That comes from the agents.
4- Brace yourself and do not shoot the messenger. There are 3 big time donors at LSU and some BOS who want 1 person back at LSU. I have said it and said it. Here is the deal, 3 million per year for 10 years with a 10 million+ buyout. For a man that doesn't do buyouts, that is huge. They verified the wife wanted her house back and they verified the powers that be feel a shock will be felt but a few wins will replace the shock. I will not type his name because some may throw their computer. BTW, this goes with what was posted earlier about money and contracts and my sources have never heard of the lair.
5- Tommy Tubberville wants the Arkansas job. He secretly put feelers out to return to Ole Miss. I kid you not. He wants out of Auburn bad. There is a secret deal at Auburn between Bobby Lowder and Bobby Petrino and Tubberville will not have to pay the buyout if he leaves. The question is does Arkansas want him. He wants the LSU job but doesn't think he can get it. Jimmy is pushing Saban. Stay tuned for this one.
6- Back to Miles. I saved the best for last. If Michigan does not have a coach by Friday, Les Miles will be named their new HC next week. Ferentz is in the picture but it is to help leverage a better long term deal and facility upgrade at Iowa. There are some people at Michigan who are old friends helping him get more out of Iowa. It appears Miles will be the man at Michigan and skip is aware of Mac and Miles stepping up efforts for the job but again, the feelings are mutual. Now, take this for what it's worth. My 2 sources do not know each other and both confirmed all 6 issues including Tubberville and Ole Miss. They know what is going on behind close doors. Now, I am a messenger here. Out of the 90k that sits in Death Valley, we make up a small % on this board. The powers that be and make the decisions don't really care about us and will do what they want. The feeling is 90% or higher only care about winning and all will be okay with a MNC. With that said, post away." did show a plane owned by a Husker honcho flying to BR Sunday, staying for 3 hours, then flying to Atlanta where the search firm is located which would confirm they are talking to Pelini. The Big M did ask for permission to talk to Miles. Have heard they are offering him over $3 mill. Leading candidates according to different message boards are Spurrier, Tuberville, Jack Del Rio (wife from La, daughter at LSU), and you know who. Yeah, you read that last part right. Keep in mind he has never had a buyout clause before. This post has been sitting here waiting to be posted since this morning.

Here is another email that is making the rounds:
This is from some fairly reliable sources in B.R..... Trying to confirm the Windsor Ct as we speak......... But, if nothing else, it seems logical Guys: Here's the latest received here in Acadiana. Here it is boys. Miles agreed to terms Tuesday with Michigan at the Windsor Court. He's done. The three candidates are Spurrier, Del Rio, and Saban. Terri Saban got chewed out by Bear Bryant Jr for having LSU people at their house for the AL game (Lemoine). They aren't happy there but I doubt they'd leave. They will get their home back in BR if they do decide to do it. My money is on Del Rio. But there's huge huge huge money involved here to get Saban back. A couple of guys at the Shaw Group and one in Alexandria - I don't need to mention there names - all want Saban back. The new system president is involved which is good. I don't think Skip is really part of it - also good.

check out following message boards:

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

DWF Says: “Haley, Appoint Me!”

With the resignation of Trent Lott, I find myself wanting to move into his “position of power”. I’ve been looking for another job anyway and the benefits with HIS job far exceed my Blue Cross medical and 2 weeks vacation.

I think it’s time to put a female in who can implement programs and strategies that can really benefit the residents of our dear Southern state. I mean, after all, didn’t you all just have a lovely Thanksgiving meal of turkey, dressing and pecan pie? And who prepared that meal, a male? Maybe 15% of so of you would answer yes, but females all over the state dropped near unconscious in bed Thanksgiving night after cooking and cleaning up TWICE for everyone after their meals, not to mention doing the same for all those stinky male hunters that came in wanting food . And who has to wash all the clothing associated with hunting? A female of course. Then those same females got up the next morning and started cooking and cleaning again.

My point being: If a female can do all that, you KNOW she can serve in the Senate, analyze bills, formulate policy, speak to interested groups, schmooze at functions and just generally be a role model for all. I mean, just yesterday morning I colored my hair, washed 2 loads of laundry, made breakfast, took my youngest to school, THEN arrived at the office at 7:45 am. How many MEN can do that?

This all goes to prove that I am immensely qualifed to be appointed by Haley. I even went to Ole Miss and have a graduate degree from there. I'm over 40 and "found" myself several years ago. I’m single, so I don’t have to worry about outshining a husband, either. (Or worry who he's screwing around with). In conclusion, my last name isn’t NUTT, but I can still come up with a few “plays” to implement on the field (or wherever needed ). Go figure.

DWF For The Senate.

Email me!

For previous DWF posts, see section on the right.

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R&R for Robbie or...the Bell of the Ball reminiscent of the Barnett to Beckwith handshake

One of the more disgusting things I have heard of in Jackson took place recently at the Magnolia Ballroom Association monthly dance, which is usually attended by 150 or more people at the Ag Museum.

The recently indicted Robbie Bell has been a long-time and well-known member of the ballroom dancing community in Jackson. At the last dance on November 17, something interesting, well I should say really offensive, took place.

Some friends of Robbie Bell took it upon themselves to chip in and get her a $250 gift certificate for a day at the spa. How do I know about this? Is the Kingfish repeating some coffee shop chatter or barroom BS? Nope. I know about this because the same friends took it upon themselves to announce to the gathering over the p.a. system that they had collected money and bought her a $250 gift certificate for a day at the spa and said it was because she had been going through a rough time lately. (Isn't that too bad? She has been suffering. I wonder how her suffering compares to that of Heather's.)

The first question is what the hell was going on? Are the moral compasses of these socialites THAT screwed up? One can understand those close to Ms. Bell supporting her but for them to get her a day at the spa, announce it publicly, and say it is because she is going through a tough time is simply outrageous and a public slap to Heather Spencer's family.

Yes, Ms. Bell HAS been having a tough time lately, most of it of her own making. Only a fool would think that George was able to stay out of town, avoiding arrest, after beating Heather in June, without her help. The media reported that Ms. Bell was in the house all night after he "allegedly" beat Heather to death. Mr. Bell also left at some point to kidnap her roommate. Ms. Bell did not call the police when she had a chance to do so, which is one of the reasons she was indicted. If the family of Ms. Spencer is to be believed, Heather did not die until up to ten hours after the beating, during which time Ms. Bell was in the house and did nothing to help her.

Its a pretty safe bet that the Association had no idea what these friends of Ms. Bell were going to say when they took the microphone. However, I'm not going to say anything about their actions as I think no comment needs to be made.

While poor pitiful Robbie suffers and needs a day at the spa, just keep in mind it would be nice if Heather could have a day at the spa.

NOTE: Ms. Bell was NOT at the dance.

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Golden Eagle fans have my sympathy.

Jeff Bower's firing caught me by surprise, along with many other people. USM's football team had slipped in the last few years but the fact remains that for someone who was not paid much, Jeff Bower had 14 winning seasons, conducted himself with class and ensured that USM never had any NCAA problems. For this he was fired without warnning. At least Callahan was warned by Tom Osborne (a class act) if he had a losing season he would probably be released. Bower wasn't worthy of such treatment. For his service, Bower was publicly backstabbed by Giannini, USM's athletic director.

However, one should not be surprised by Giannini's actions as he has displayed similar incompetence when it comes to running a football program before. Once upon a time there was a school called Northeast Louisiana University. It had one of the top programs in I-AA football. It sent players like Joe Delaney, Stan Humphries, Bubby Brister, and Bobby Hebert to the pros and won a national championship. NLU drew over 20,000 a game.

Then a certain NLU athletic director named Giannini had a bright idea. He decided that NLU needed to be a I-A program. Never mind that NLU has to compete against LSU. Never mind that NLU is stuck in Monroe, hardly a recruiting hotbed of football talent like New Orleans. None of that mattered. Giannini was the prime mover behind NLU's move to I-A. What was the result? NLU went from having one of the top programs in I-AA to being a cellar dwellar in I-AA. As it now had to compete with I-A schools for talent, the pipeline of players going to the NFL through NLU was turned off completely. The attendance plummeted to less than half of what it used to be. In short, Giannini single-handedly destroyed the NLU (now ULM) football program.

If you need further proof of Giannini's ineptitude, read the following quote from yesterday's Clarion-Ledger: Giannini said he would act as a one-man search committee to find the successor for Bower, who was forced to resign Monday morning after posting a 119-82-1 in 17 seasons at his alma mater."

There you have it. Standard procedure at successful schools looking for coaches is for them to form what is called a search committee. That means a group of several people is put together to find a list of candidates. Nebraska, LSU, Alabama, etc, all follow this procedure. Not Giannini. No, this Einstein who leads one of the smaller programs in I-A is such a genius that HE will find a replacement for Coach Bower. Golden Eagle fans should consider themselves lucky to have such a leader. The guy who ruined NLU's program and fired a successful USM coach with no warning is now going to single-handedly lead you to the promised land.

However, didn't the Hebrews have to spend forty years in the wilderness first?

For further proof:

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Thats Entertainment

Last couple of minutes are pretty funny. Talk about talent.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Funny Thread

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Here is what Ole Miss & MSU are up against.

Here is what the Rebels and Bulldogs face in the SEC according to Forbes:
"In the past few years, there's been a big push by major college football teams to increase revenue through massive stadium expansions, lucrative premium seating and rich sponsorship and broadcast deals--the same blueprint the National Football League used for decades to create billion-dollar franchises.
The game plan is working in college, albeit on a much smaller scale: Last year, 10 college football teams raked in at least $45 million in revenues--among them, the University of Notre Dame, University of Georgia, Ohio State and Auburn University--compared to none five years ago. "

The only surprise was how many SEC schools were on the list. When judging the coaches at Ole Miss and MSU, remember what Saban used to tell us: its always about the money (irony) and when he said that, he was referring to the correlation between success and facilites and budgets.

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Latest from Iraq

The latest dispatch from Michael Yon in Iraq. Mr. Yon, a former Special Forces soldier and writer, has been embedded in Iraq for several years and provides the best coverage from the field. He calls it like he sees it and is not supported by any organization, including the media.

"I first embedded with British troops during Telic 9.....
2 Rifles—photographed after the battle described in the dispatch “British Soldiers at War”—had fought well, sustained losses and inflicted much greater, but the enemy had only been warming up for the most serious battles to come. It was this combat-experienced enemy that would welcome 4 Rifles to Basra, intent on squeezing out every possible drop of British blood.....
On 21 May, 4 Rifles would conduct its first mission in on the deadly streets of Basra.
Enemy deathtraps were set. As always, the Welsh Warriors had point...."

Read the rest of the dispatch at:

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Monday, November 26, 2007


Well, told you last week George Bell was indicted and would be arraigned:

What did The Clarion-Ledger just report (with no credit to this blog of course):

"The man accused of murdering and sexually assaulting his girlfriend pleaded not guilty in Hinds County Circuit Court this morning.
George Bell III appeared shackled before Special Circuit Court Judge Breland Hilburn.
His attorney was not present and Hilburn asked someone from the public defender’s office to stand with Bell.
Bell told the judge he didn’t think his attorney was aware of the court date.A trial date was not set.Bell was indicted on capital murder and sexual battery charges on Oct. 11."

Next question: When did Faye Peterson's office annouce he was indicted?

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Once upon a time....

there was a real band:

To one of my readers who will remain anonymous: I dare you to play this on one of your stations.

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

Time to Grade Miles' Exam.

Well, we LSU fans got our hearts broken Friday. Atlanta was looking nice and playing for the BCS Title looked even nicer until our Pickett's charge foundered upon an interception. I've been saying for three years now I would save my judgement of Miles until after this year as I considered this season to be his exam. Well, it is time to grade the exam.

First the positives on Miles. I think he is a good man. He has good character. Family man type of guy and everyone who has met him likes him. The players like him. Not bad qualities for a coach to have.

If he stays at LSU, he will win 75% of his games. He is a good recruiter as he keenly recognizes talent. He hires good staff (although I am now questioning Pelini as a good SEC DC), showing he is not afraid to hire true experts for his team, something Dinardo was averse to doing. Hiring good coaches and having strong recruiting classes alone will ensure a winning record at LSU, a string of bowl games, publicity, and a decent ranking every year. See Cholly Mac.

Now for the negatives. I think although he has a good character, I think it is weak to some degree and lacks strong decision-making skills. I don't think its any coincidence that he had to kick 5 players off the team this year for violent crimes as he had similar problems at OSU. Now it is true Miles did the right thing in kicking off these players. What these guys did went way past teen-age stupidity. It makes one wonder why Miles is recruiting these players in the first place.

Perrilloux is a prime example of recruiting questionable players. Saban said he was not crazy about Perrilloux's character. When Miles came to LSU he made signing him a priority. Perrilloux has shown nothing special on the field (He has been at LSU for 3 years) and over the last year and has been in trouble repeatedly with each incident worse than the one before it. If the police reports from the incident at the Varsity are to be believed, Perrilloux truly is a thug. From what I have heard, his teammates are sick of him and his attitude. Make no mistake, Saban had his share of problem players too but they were not in the police blotters and headlines and frankly, the players WERE scared of Saban.

Forgetting Saban's ethics for the moment, there is one important fact to consider about Saban's evaluation of players: if the player is one Saban does not want or can't work out for Saban, history shows he is not worth having: Barrington Edwards, Robert Lane, Parquet..the list goes on. However, Miles has shown he will take a chance on such players and look what we get: reporters checking the police blotter on a daily basis with a stack of ten dollar bills ready to pay for police reports. Nice legacy. The question is by repeatedly recruiting players who get in trouble so much, does Miles make good decisions in recruiting? Does he focus just on talent? What is his philosophy when it comes to recruiting? Is talent alone the determining factor or does it include character and intelligence?

There has been another disturbing trend among his football team that can not be ignored. Under Miles, LSU tends to play to the level of the competition if its an SEC team, unless that team is really bad. His best SEC win was this year against South Carolina: 11 points. Consistently playing to the level of the competition usually indicates a very young team or weak coaching.

Every mediocre or better SEC team has presented us with the same scenario: LS comes out flat or has to win in the last minutes of the game. LSU does NOT come out and control the game from start to finish. Yes, Saban had 3 loss seasons but he also had games where we dominated (when is the last time you heard Miles talk about domination? You know why you don't know? Because he never has.) The record does not lie:
Florida: Every game but '06 was down to the wire
Tennesse: last minute win, OT loss
Arkansas: all three games were very close
Auburn: everyone knows that history
SC: won by 11
UGA: Blowout loss
Alabama: OT win, last minute win, came out flat in '06
Ole Miss: against bad Ole Miss teams: OT win, back and forth game last week.
Kentucky: average SEC team this year. we lose.
MSU: we've always owned them. same with Vandy.

In 03, LSU blew out Auburn, Georgia, S. Carolina, Bama, and Arkansas. LSU blew out FLorida in 02. We beat Arkansas handily in 04. Every good SEC coach will have wins against decent SEC teams where they have controlled the game from start to finish. We have had good teams blown out by Auburn, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, and so on. Good SEC teams DON'T have Miles track record of playing exactly to the other team's level every game. From time to time, they dominate. At other times they are dominated but that is why you play the game.

Under Miles, LSU does not have a killer instinct for the most part. The result is we live by the edge and every game is a nail-biter in the SEC. That is fine for winning record. However, it shows something is not right. I don't think he focuses as other coaches do having his players dominate the other players. I think his nice guy personae plays into that and he does NOT have a killer instinct. One time I heard him defend the team having a tough game in saying hey, the other team was good. You can interpret that any way you choose. That lack of a killer instinct means we will usually lose that one game that keeps us from true success in college football.

In '05 before the Georgia loss, he flew to Dallas to discuss the Cotton Bowl with its representatives on Thursday night BEFORE the SEC Championship game. He defended it saying that was his normal family night so it did not interfere with his game preparations for Georgia. Oh really? I remember in 01 making fun of Fulmer because on that same night, he and one of his players flew to Florida and back to accept an award on that Thursday night when he should have been back in Knoxville getting his team ready for LSU. Can you imagine Saban or Meyer going out of town for a whole night 48 hours before the SEC Championship game? Can you imagine them doing family night before a big game. Make no mistake, coaches NEED to spend time with their families. However, 48 hours before such a game, shouldn't they be working on the game, not worrying about bowl games or awards? However, I digress.

The lack of discipline shows up on the field during games. Leading the SEC in penalties. Repeatedly committing personal fouls on the field. Punches to the head during games. Late hits. Experienced players repeatedly lining up wrong, costing us touchdowns. The constant inability of our offense to use the clock wisely. The refusal by Pelini to adjust on defense during games as needed. The numerous times where the team has lacked a killer instinct when the opponent could be put away for the rest of the game (see Arkansas and Alabama this year). As for the defense, even if the soft defense is due to Pelini, Miles still can overrule him, which apparently has not happened. One does not face SEC offenses with soft coverage and a basic 4 man rush. After three years with veteran, highly recruited players, this should not happen and the blame should be placed squarely at the feet of Miles. One must also wonder once again about his ability to make decisions when he allows coaches like Pelini to run schemes that obviously do not work and have not worked for some time.

I'm sorry for writing this as I like Miles as a person. However, LSU fans have to decide what are their expectations. If it is to be a winning program with bowl games every year, then Miles is the coach. However, there is a huge difference between a championship coach and a winning coach. Saban was a championship coach. Stallings was a championship coach. Meyer is one as well. We won't even mention Tuberville. Put those guys into big games that mean something, they know what to do. Miles has shown that in games that truly count, he does not know how to coach the team before or during the game.

I am not one of these idiot fans who think we should go undefeated every year and think ten wins a year is not good enough. However, I want a championship coach. My expectation is a top ten or so ranking every year and every 5 years, a shot at the national title. A shot, not a win. Its very rare you get to the level of Miami in the 80's or Florida State in the 80's or 90's where you are playing for one every year and I don't have those expectations.

After grading Miles' exam, I don't think Miles is a championship coach. He will win, he will have success and if that is the expectation, then he is the right coach for LSU. If a championship coach is desired, then he is not the right coach and LSU should let him go to Michigan. Unlike Skip, I don't want a "best fit". I want a championship coach who has his team disciplined on AND off the field. Having said that, LSU might beat Tennessee this week and win the SEC Championship. However, there will always be the fact that LSU was ranked number one twice this year and lost twice to average SEC teams that finished in the middle of their division.

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

DWF Bids Farewell To Coach O

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Scruggs' Money Blown on "O".
(Sung to the Tune of The 7 Stupid Dwarfs - Boonie, Bobbie, Dickie, Nuttie, Pittie ........)

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Condi Rice = Shirlene Anderson?


(referring to Condi Rice): "the woman is a dipstick.

Ray makes a good point, Cliff. It's really hard to point to something she's done right. In many ways, she's Bush's Shirlene Anderson. Think about it.I know it's easy for a non-racist Republican to be dazzled by a black conservative, and for reasons that can be honorable and well-meaning, but it is no compliment to praise an incompetent person, or a doormat, when s/he doesn't deserve it, regardless of race."

You can guess who wrote that passage.

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Time to get drunk.

Its that time of year and you know what that means: Its time for my award-winning egg nog recipe.

Ingredients: 1 cup bourbon 1 cup brandy 1 cup Tia Maria
12 eggs quart cream quart half & half 1/2 lb powdered sugar
Directions: Separate eggs and combine booze and yokes and
whisk in 1/2 lb of powdered sugar.
Store in fridge for 24 hrs. Keep the whites chilled also.
24hrs later, whip cream in large bowl until thick,
then add half & half and the yoke/booze mix.
Add the egg whites and whip till frothy.
Chill for a while before serving.

Get blowed up.

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ELP's Flying Piano

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Check this out. I wish I could take credit for this one.


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SCOOP: George Bell, III has been indicted!

He will be arraigned next week. Confirmed this with multiple sources.

*must credit Jackson Jambalaya*

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My choice if Miles leaves LSU...

Bill Cowher.

Do I need to explain why?

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Sometimes you hear things that just make you wonder if this area is worth really living in and if you want to breathe the same air as the people who live here.

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An alternate view

Here is an interesting thread on another blog about Ben Allen:

Unlike the JFP and CL, I'm not scared of other blogs or websites and don't mind posting their stuff at all.

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More on Hezbollah mole

Here is some more on the Hezbollah agent who was an illegal immigrant and managed to work at both the FBI and CIA:
"There is cause for great concern about the case of Nada Nadim Prouty, a Lebanese citizen who managed to game the immigration bureaucracy to acquire United States citizenship. By marrying fraudulently, she was able to achieve her goal of becoming a resident alien after she had gained lawful entry into the United States as a student. She eventually became a trusted employee of the FBI and the CIA....
A study that was done after the attacks of 9/11 disclosed that of 94 terrorists who were identified as operating in the United States in the decade immediately preceding the attacks of September 11, 2001, 59 of those identified terrorists had committed immigration benefit fraud either to enter the United States and/or to embed themselves in the US after they gained entry. ...."

MSNBC also reported: "Current and former intelligence officials tell NBC News that Nada Nadim Prouty had a much bigger role than officials at the FBI and CIA first acknowledged. In fact, Prouty was assigned to the CIA’s most sensitive post, Baghdad, and participated in the debriefings of high-ranking al-Qaida detainees."

Nice. very nice. Good job team. Hezbollah agents enter the US, stay here illegaly, and even get to work for us and help run the war against the terrorists. Gee, nothing much HAS changed after 9/11, has it? Idiots.

Additional stories:
NY Daily News:
Plea agreement:
ABC News:
Washington Post:
Kingfish post:

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Jackson's White Power Structure had a meeting tonight.

Here is the video.

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Tiger Pimp Nation Conquered Ole Miss

The Tiger Pimp Nation came, saw, and conquered The Grove. enemies were crushed, women were humiliated, and the lamentations were loud (if you are too stupid to recognize the line, see Conan the Barbarian).
Here is the legal as well as the pimpodictional basis for the Tiger Pimp Nation:

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Then there was the Ole Miss idiot

being thrown out of the end zone where the LSU section was by two cops and screaming at them ""you just wait until my daddy hears about this" !!!"

Would luuuuuuve to know who daddy is.

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Tigers Rip Rebels.

My Tigers went up to Oxford yesterday and took care of business. Wasn't pretty but they got the job done on a weekend when Oregon and Oklahoma got beat. It was a fun trip, it always is when you win. We stopped at Jake & Rips in Grenada on the way back and the bbq was very good as always. I love going to road games. I like the different atmospheres. The LSU fans that go are more of a hard-core crowd compared to the ones at home and after awhile, you get to know the regulars. Tuscaloosa and Athens are my two favorite road trips in the SEC although Little Rock is catching up with them. Here is all the coverage of the game yesterday.

Check out , the largest LSU fan website. It is also FREE!

Well, apparently the Ole Miss fans showed their usual lack of class by mistreating the band while the redneck cops in Oxford did nothing:
Then there was vandalism:

CBS Highlights (video on rt side of screen):
AP Highlights:
Scott run:
Cheerleaders make video:

Photo Galleries
The Advocate:
Shreveport Times:

Coverage (very good read):

Bursting Through:
Miles to Meechigan?:
LSU Prevails:
Play by play blog:
LSU Defense takes hit:
Peter Finney Column:

Baton Rouge The Advocate
Rabalais column:
David sets record:
Getting it done:
QB not enough:
LSU Defense:

The Shreveport Times (Gannet)
Guilbeau Coverage:
Orgeron decision:
Holliday story:
Game notes:
Ole Miss TD for nothing:
Looking to stay #1:

Jackson, MS Clarion-Ledger (Gannet)
Rebels blow chances:
Schaeffer Saga:
Hardy Helps:
Game notes:

Associated Press

Commercial Appeal (Memphis)
Errors costly:

Northeast Daily Journal (Tupelo, MS)
LSU shines:
Green-Ellis story:
Time for Schaeffer:

Drive Chart:
Play by play:
Pat Forde Column:


College Football News (Scout):
CBS Sportsline:
Thanks Orgeron:
Mandel's Blog:

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

C'est La Vie

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Give JPD a Big Mac and supersize it!

Everyone else has commented on Sheriff McMillin becoming the Chief of JPD. Like everyone else, I think this is good for Jackson. There are several ways to look at what happened today in Jackson.

Some people will think that Melton finally got serious about fighting crime in Jackson, had a Damascus moment, and appointed the best possible candidate in Hinds County. As desirable as as this scenario is, Melton's history makes it clear this is likely not the reason for McMillin's appointment.

Kim Wade probably nailed it today on his radio show. He said that Melton's back was to the wall with Jackson suffering from a multimillion dollar budget deficit (in violation of state law) while having to pay back to the federal government several hundred thousand dollars (A federal grant requires JPD to have 450 officers. JPD only has 410 officers, with only 9 recruits in the academy. Jackson does not have the money to hire officers from other agencies. Thus, Jackson HAS to pay the grant back to the federal government.) Mr. Wade said that Mac offered a way out of this nightmare to Melton (who frankly has NO CLUE as to how to fix the disaster he created) in exchange for the appointment. Kim Wade's theory makes much sense when one looks at the Melton's record as mayor.

It is true that Melton and Mac were friends for many years. However, Melton's antics created a widening rift between them. Melton refused to let Mac arrest Michael Taylor when he sent his deputies to arrest him. Taylor and his scumbag mother then tried to smear Mac with allegations of drugs and other problems at his jail. Prosecutions were harmed as Melton interfered with witnesses (See link below). Melton had Tyrone Lewis run against Mac this year (Oh how I enjoyed THAT irony today. Bet you are sweating now, aren't you Tyrone?) and hosted a fundraiser for him at his house. Knowing all of this and more, it is inconceivable that Melton simply appointed Mac under the first scenario. More than likely, Mac put the squeeze to Melton, saving JPD in the process. It should also be noted that the rumors swirling around Jackson are that Melton will be facing a multi-count indictment. If such is the case, then Melton's position was even further weakened.

Having said that, Mac's appointment is good for Jackson. No one will question his independence or ability. Jackson, along with Hinds County has suffered from inefficient government and duplication of services for many years. Mac's appointment might pave the way to a future consolidation of the JPD and the Hinds County Sheriff's Office.

Jackson has suffered greatly from the constant turmoil that has taken place with the constant turnover in the Chief of Police position. There is no way JPD can effectively fight crime when it has a new chief every year or two. Perhaps it is time to fold the office of the Chief of JPD into the office of the Hinds County Sheriff, which would bring much stability to JPD or the new agency. One would think that such a move would be popular among the voters as it would give them more responsibility for fighting crime in Jackson and give them a chance to actually do something about it instead of trusting promises made by the usual boobs who run for mayor. Perhaps it is time to realize that while some jobs need to be appointed, others have become so important that perhaps they need to be taken away from the Mayor's office. How ironic it would be if this turns out to be Melton's legacy, something one is sure he never intended.

Related story:

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Three Nebulae

(Credit & Copyright: Michael Mayda)

Narrow band filters and a false-color palette give these three nebulae a stunning appearance against the cosmic canvas of the central Milky Way. All three are stellar nurseries about 5,000 light-years or so distant, toward the nebula rich constellation Sagittarius. In the 18th century, astronomer Charles Messier cataloged two of them; colorful M8, above and right of center, and compact M20 at the left. The third, NGC 6559, is at bottom right. Over a hundred light-years across, M8 is also known as the Lagoon Nebula. Divided by obscuring dust lanes, M20's popular moniker is the Trifid. In the composite image, narrow emission lines from sulfur, hydrogen, and oxygen atoms recorded through the filters, are mapped into broader red, green, and blue colors respectively. The color scheme was made popular in Hubble Space Telescope images. But for ground-based telescopes, narrow band filters also make it possible to reject overwhelming light-pollution and capture compelling images of the cosmos from urban skies.

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy

And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.
And for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James, of the house of Meredith, of the nation of Cush, didst attempt to enter the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good, and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys:


And after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness. And a man named Elisha, who was also called Archie, didst attempt to lead them back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the fruits of victory. Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, until Eli son of Archie arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the warriors from Eden.

But Eli fell backwards*. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be the meaning of this tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddys cried in despair, "The invaders from Eden hath carried off the West championship! Our curse is still upon us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."

And the LORD then caused a great delusion to fall upon the tribe of Hotty-Toddy, and they drove their general David from their midst, even though David had led them to victories for the first time in forty years. And they chose a recruiter of warriors from a western land, Bay Bay of the house of Yawyawyawyaw, because their delusion kept them from seeing he was a fool. And Bay Bay disdt tear his garments, and shout words none could understand. And the LORD loosed against the Hotty-Toddys bands of Cowboys, and Bulldogs, and even Commodores, who laid waste to Oxford. And the Hotty-Toddys continued to exalt Bay Bay, even as half his warriors disappeared from Oxford, and rued the days of Cutcliffe. And finally Les of Eden came to Oxford and destroyed it once and for all.
1 Samuel 4:3

Click Here to Read More..

Please Help the Spencer Family

Please help the family of Heather Spencer. As you know, Heather Spencer was lost to her family in September. Needless to say, her family is not wealthy. Heather died without life insurance. Heather's mom lives in Michigan. Flights cost a great deal of money. There are many other expenses associated with this tragedy. When all is said and done, this is going to cost her family in terms of dollars probably $25,000 or so. Here is the original message I posted back in September:

Here is a link to a story on WJTV-12 about the Memorial Fund for Ms. Spencer: Please donate. This family has been through enough hell without getting socked again with a huge funeral bill as the chances of someone that young having life insurance are slim to none."

Her family has set up a memorial fund in her name to help with the cost of the funeral. It is set up at BancorpSouth under Heather Spencer Memorial Fund. You can donate at any of the bank’s branches. You can also wire the money electronically using routing number 065300486 and account number 41925132."If you want to pay by credit card (thanks I donated) here i s the link at Q105:

Click Here to Read More..

Hezbollah Penetrates CIA & FBI

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

From Family Security Matters:
"the sister-in-law of Hizballah-linked fugitive Talal Chahine pled guilty today to fraudulently obtaining her citizenship, using her illegally acquired status to attain employment with both the FBI and CIA, and illegally using government computers to gather Hizballah-related ntelligence..."

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Trollfest 2007

DWF is now taking orders for tickets to Trollfest 2007. Move over Mistletoe Marketplace, Chickball, and BLT Party, this will be THE event of the year. Kingfish, you constantly amaze me!

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Play It As It Lays

A Poem

Kingfish has been exhorting me to post poems on JJ, so I thought I'd post the opening of Dark Familiar, which was published last year.

This poem has in it many of the major themes of the book, and also addresses some things about Mississippi and American culture in general. (The title is borrowed from Emily Dickinson.)

The Star’s Etruscan Argument

I could be almost anywhere, beside the Atlantic
or in the desert, on a boat never designed to sail,
but I’m not, I’m in the hotel of a casino

on an Indian reservation in the deep south,
a sovereign nation in a county still unable
to resolve a murder forty years old. Four a.m.

& my mind’s wheeling in huge ambits,
as if through an empty sky, the green numbers
on the digital clock ticking toward morning:

I turn on the television to the hotel channel,
where they teach you how to play roulette & blackjack,
then switch to an old movie I loved in college.

My window opens not to the world but on to the floor
& when I part the curtains the mild gold light
of the lamp is swallowed up by the casino’s whiter,

cooler, cleaner light. Half past four & row after row
of people are playing slot machines; driven,
stoic, they don’t pull the lever but instead punch

over & over a square lit button that places bets
faster & with less effort, all visceral pleasure,
the smooth glide of expensive equipment, removed.

If the window opened I’d hear the sound of waitresses
pushing drinks, the click of disposable lighters,
the muscular toll of coins hitting metal trays

& beneath all that a fabricated soundtrack of luck & fortune,
money singing, the bruit of machines hitting big.
Their eyes gleam with hope & its opposite,

which is also hope: the tinsel change of a small windfall;
free passes to the buffet, its bounty of crab legs
& fried shrimp, a chef carving thick slabs

of prime rib; or the big score, the million dollars
that would change their lives completely & forever.
These days memory is assembled from consumption’s

debris, the promise of happiness or the crumpled containers
in which the promise was wrapped. How quickly
smoke swirling from a hundred cigarettes dissolves

above their heads: invisible systems at work, & God
not looking out for any of us from the inverted
domes in the ceiling that watch & record everything.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Jackson Jambalaya welcomes Aleda Shirley

Jackson Jambalaya welcomes noted Jackson poet Aleda Shirley. Ms. Shirley is "the author of Long Distance (1996) and Chinese Architecture (1986), which won the Poetry Society of America’s Norma Farber First Book Award. She has received fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts, the Kentucky Arts Council, the Kentucky Foundation for Women, and the Mississippi Arts Commission. In addition to her two collections of poetry, she has published two chapbooks, Rilke’s Children (Larkspur Press) and Silver Ending, which won the St. Louis Poetry Society’s Stanley Hanks Chapbook Competition. In addition, she has edited The Beach Book (Sarabande Books) and a Mississippi literary guide with the Center for the Study of South Culture in Oxford, Mississippi."

Ms. Shirley's posts are called Play It as It Lays. Feel free to welcome her to this site as we here at Jackson Jambalaya can't wait to read her epistles to the Jackson area.

Click Here to Read More..

Play It As It Lays

[If you're as sick of this subject--Maria Wyeth and the JFP--as I am (and you couldn't possibly be, since it has now surpassed the Continuing Saga of Britney Spears in things I never want to hear another word about), please skip the first three paragraphs. I mean, if a subject were the largest ball-bearing-producing city in the world, this subject would be, by this point, Dayton, Ohio.] See

Apparently Donna Ladd is one of the last people in Jackson to figure out that Maria Wyeth was me, but I must admit I find it mildly amusing to keep getting hammered on a site I am banned from posting to. For the record, I have never asked her paper for a favor; my publisher contacted the JFP when my third collection of poems, Dark Familiar, was published in 2006. (They also contacted the Clarion-Ledger and several other newspapers.) The book was well-reviewed by Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, The Courier-Journal, and many, many literary magazines and online sites. The reading/ signing I did at Lemuria (despite the fact that the JFP got the time wrong in their article) was attended by a hundred and fifty people.

My private emails to Ms. Ladd, while critical in some respects of her newspaper, were conciliatory in tone, and I had hoped to resolve this, since I am in agreement with so many of the goals she has for Mississippi, and think a strong alternative weekly is essential to making Jackson a viable place to live. While I don't regret anything I posted (or attempted to post) to her website, I might handle it differently if I had it to do all over again, since my intention was not to hurt Ms. Ladd, which it appears that I have done. I was expressing what I thought, about the topic in question, and my feelings about the ways in which I thought the JFP had not served Jackson as well it could. I am sorry to have caused her pain and what appears to be lingering anger.

And that, I hope, is the last I have to say on the subject.

Kingfish has invited me to blog on his site, an invitation I have gratefully accepted. I am a poet; I've published three books and edited a couple of others; I love to teach, but I'm not an academic. Fortunately, institutions of higher learning in Mississippi are familiar with the notion of a writer-in-residence. I've spent much of my adult life involved in getting poetry into places where it usually isn't (public schools, correctional facilities, nursing homes, literacy programs). I'm passionately interested in politics, but have no--ZERO, ZILCH, NADA--interest in writing about politics, so I plan to write about books and other cultural and even non-cultural stuff that interests me. (Jackson seems to have the political waterfront well-covered; I'm going to meander over to some other subjects that seem undercovered.)

In the last few years, usenet has grown rather anemic because people--including many of my close online friends--have abandoned it in favor of what I call blogatory (see Dante reference below). So I guess it's inevitable that I would eventually succumb to the siren song of the internet's preferred method of expression--the dreaded blog.

I always have several books I'm reading concurrently; right now I'm reading Janet Evanovitch's Eleven on Top; Thomas Mann's The Magic Mountain; and Zero: The Biography of A Dangerous Idea by Charles Seife. I just started the Evanovitch, so I don't know if the prevailing view that it's not quite as good as earlier books in the series is true, but she does manage to combine a certain manageable level of violence with hilarity in her books, which I find seductive.

Whenever something serious happens in my life, I turn to great literature--not surprising for a poet or a lover of poetry--and I've re-read most of Shakespeare and many books about Shakespeare (some of them silly, some way too academic, and some enlightening) in the last couple of years. This past August I decided I needed to read The Divine Comedy, which I had never read all of, and I chose the fairly new Allen Mandelbaum translation, which is superb. This reading of Dante has reshaped my ideas about my fourth book of poems, which I am working on now. Dante's not light reading, and I would advise you to have a Robert Parker or something else going on the side if you take it on.

I was never a good student; I'm by temperament an introvert and an autodidact. I think I almost flunked out of college one semester because I decided to read all of Andre Gide, the more obscure French symbolistes, and a lot of Thomas Mann.

This tendency accounts for huge voids in my education, such as virtually all of nineteenth-century British fiction. Not to mention math. A big reason for my choosing the college I did was that it didn't demand one take a math class in order to graduate. Probably the most famous college textbook on poetry asked me, many years ago, if they could use some lines from a poem of mine that dealt with something called the asymptotic limit, which I had read about in one of those science-for-dummies magazines. The poetry textbook then goes on to comment that I am one of the few poets with an understanding of higher math. Long, long, long before bawhahahahahaha became an expression, people close to me were screaming it when they realized that anyone believed I had any understanding of higher math. (I do have an uncanny ability to calculate what an extra 35 per cent off of a garment already marked down 75 per cent is: my math skills begin and end there.)

But I had never read The Magic Mountain and I can't remember why; maybe because it is Very Long and also because I didn't think a novel about a bunch of people with tuberculosis in a posh sanitorium in the Alps would be all that interesting. Turns out I was wrong: it's an incredibly interesting book and I'm finding it not only stimulating in a great-literature kind of way, but also relevant to things going on today (war and HIV, for two).

Oh, one more book I highly recommend. James Lee Burke, who started out as a literary writer and then evidently decided he didn't want to remain poor and unknown his entire life, has a crime series, which features a New Iberia cop named Dave Robicheaux. The latest is called The Tin Roof Blowdown, and while it's a crime novel--and plenty violent--it also contains some of the very best writing I've read about Katrina and that other, largely forgotten, tragedy, Hurricane Rita. Very few books leave me in tears, and certainly not crime novels, but I was weeping when I finished this one. You don't need to have read all the novels in this series to read this one (although I'd highly recommend the first one, Neon Rain, because it lets you know some essential things about the character, as well as the circumstances under which he found his beloved adopted daughter, Alafair. Neon Rain deals with immigration issues: consider yourself warned.) (If I believed in emoticons, which I emphatically do not, I would now put one of those smiley face things here.)

For the record, I also have a distinctly non-literary side, and can talk fairly obsessively about shoes; college basketball; Joni Mitchell; Stephen Sondheim; (some of) MTV's tackier reality shows; cats (we have four); midcentury furniture; Kentucky history; Will Farrell movies; and painting, especially abstract expressionism. I have an insatiable interest in conspiracy theories (JFK, UFOs, contrails, the sorts of things Art Bell used to discuss on his radio show), but don't believe them, i.e. I think Oswald was the long gunman.

I love McDades because they always keep two extra flats of Tab (yes, Tab, the diet drink in the pink can, and YES, they DO still make it) in the back. Therefore, if something happens in the distribution process, McDades will be able to satisfy the Jackson Tab Addicts, who are so not in a good mood when Tab is unavailable. My husband claims he'd rather handle a rabid wolverine than deal with me when we run out of Tab. McDades has prevented this unfortunate transformation from occuring the entire sixteen years we've lived in Jackson.

Kingfish note: Here is a link to one of Aleda's poems.

Click Here to Read More..

The paranoia sets in.....

"Remember, all, that we have tightened up our entry policies a bit and are shying away from unknown Yahoo and Hotmail accounts due to past abuse. If you want to sign up under one of those accounts, you will need to get in touch with us directlly and verify your identity first..."

Congratulations. You now have the most restrictive policy among all of the internet forums in Jackson. Once again, you prove yourself to be on the cutting edge.

However, explain how come you are now requiring some type of ID for your website while you oppose it in the voting booth, especially after you wrote the following statement: "And you should always worry about a politician who is trying to limit the number of people who can vote."

Pot, meet kettle.

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"Principles have no real force except when one is well fed."

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

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Monday, November 12, 2007

Jena 6: Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money

Well, well, what exactly has happened to all the money donated for the defense of the Jena 6?

From The Chicago Tribune:
controversy is growing over the accounting and disbursing of at least $500,000 donated to pay for the teenagers' legal defense.
Parents of the "Jena 6" teens have refused to publicly account for how they are spending a large portion of the cash, estimated at up to $250,000, that resides in a bank account they control.
Michael Baisden, a nationally syndicated black radio host who is leading a major fundraising drive on behalf of the Jena 6, has declined to reveal how much he has collected. Attorneys for the first defendant to go to trial, Mychal Bell, say they have yet to receive any money from him....

Only one group has done it right, Color for Change:
Only one national civil rights group, Color of Change, has fully disclosed how the $212,000 it collected for the Jena 6 via a massive Internet campaign has been distributed. The grass-roots group, which has nearly 400,000 members, has posted images of canceled checks and other signed documents on its Web site showing that all but $1,230 was paid out in October in roughly equal amounts to attorneys for the Jena youths.

Color for Change has acted properly as it has disclosed everything to the public. However, that was not good enough for the parents and "competitors":
Yet that transparency did not halt acrimony over the fundraising from breaking into public view on Baisden's popular radio show last week, when Baisden invited Bell's father, Marcus Jones, to accuse Color of Change founder James Rucker of misapplying the funds.
Jones offered no evidence for his assertion. But Baisden told his listeners that Rucker "sounds shady to me," before promoting his own fundraiser, scheduled for this weekend, which aims to collect at least $1 million for the Jena 6 and other black defendants nationwide.....

Hmmm...the group raises funds for the lawyers defending the Jena 6, actually pays them with all of the money raised, discloses the disbursements along with supporting documentation to the public while the father of Mychel Bell and someone claiming to raise money for the Jena 6 calls them shady and says money should be given to them instead. What does this sound like to you?

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Two Months Without Heather

Today marks the day two months ago that my world, as I knew it, changed forever and I lost my beautiful girl. It doesn't get any easier. My grief follows me and everywhere I go, festive decorations remind me of the upcoming holidays, Heather's favorite time of the year. But instead of shopping for her gifts, I'm shopping for something special to put on her grave. This shouldn't be. She should be here. Up until she was 25 years old when I still lived in Jackson, I would put out "Santa Claus" for her and her brother and fill their stockings. Not a lot, just some things they could wake up keep the fun going and keep our tradition alive. I have videos of every year, getting up in the early morning hours and video-taping them as they walked into the living room, tree lit and Christmas music playing...seeing the sleepy smiles on their faces as they surveyed their gifts. But best of all were the hugs and kisses that we shared. My arms ache for a hug from her.

One of Heather's favorite holiday foods was deviled eggs. I have a photo of her from last year, at her grandmother's, stuffing eggs with a big smile on her face. Several of the eggs would disappear before they ever made it to the table! And gifts...she was such a great gift-giver, so thoughtful, a giver from the heart. After my move way up north, she always seemed to know exactly what I needed. A down stuffed jacket, a big fluffy robe that she said was 'the warmest robe you'll ever wear', and it is. And so many more things she knew were special to me.

I miss her. I miss everything about her. We all do. Not just at holiday time, but every minute of every day. I am thankful for the 28 years I had with her. She helped mold me as well as I did her, growing up together, mother and daughter, learning from each other. I am also thankful for my son, who inspires me and continues to make me proud. Never take what you have with your children for granted. Hug them, kiss them and tell them you love them, every day. Other than our hope of eternal life in Heaven, our children are the true gifts we are given on this earth.

posted by LHF.

additional post by LHF: Heather's Tree:

Kingfish note: LHF is the mother of Heather Spencer. Feel free to post comments. If you wish to contact her, please send me an email at and it will be forwarded to her. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Tigers Number 1 Again!

(Lee Greenwood and the Golden Band from Tigerland honor the 232nd birthday of the United States Marine Corps at halftime.)

It was homecoming for the Tigers as they laid waste to Louisiana Tech, 58-10. However, Ohio State was upset by good ole Ron Zook. I knew he would do something right one day. Having said that, we got out of there with a win, no injuries and are ready to play Ole Miss. Here is a collection of the coverage from around the internet.

LSU Message Boards (FREE!)
Tiger Droppings:
Tiger Forums:

Lee Greenwood for TAF:
Lee Greenwood with Band at halftime:
State Trooper fall:
Photo gallery:
LSU ranked number 1 in BCS:
Miles briefs media:

Baton Rouge Advocate
Rabalais column:
Official breaks leg:
More coverage:
even more coverage:
photo gallery:

Game blog:
Photo Gallery:
Iraq Vet plays:
OSU loss benefits Tigers:

Shreveport Times
Photo Gallery:
Dooley Story:

And the Valley Shook (LSU Blog):
Dandy Don:
The Tiger Report:

LSU leads AP Rankings:
Game coverage:
Photo gallery:
Forde Column:

College Football News (Scout):
Fox Sports: Dorsey No. 1 pick?:
Sporting News:
CBS Sportsline:
Look at Dodd's poll:
Omaha Herald (Pelini article):

Click Here to Read More..

The Ultimate Chick Blogger....

OK. WARNING: VERY mature content. NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!! VERY crude language. However, its funny as hell. Did I mention that is her mother she is talking to? This is from the public access channel in Atlanta.

Don't say you weren't warned.

In the interests of equal time and balance, here is the rebuttal:

Click Here to Read More..

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Just Beat Your Wife a Little Bit....

Since AB asked in the comments section of the Terrorist Poetry post what they are teaching these children, I will help her out. A Saudi Cleric recently explained how to properly beat wives on tv to young Muslims:
Beating in the face is forbidden, even when it comes to animals. When a person is beating an animal... Even if you want your camel or donkey to start walking, you are not allowed to beat it in the face. If this is true for animals, it is all the more true when it comes to humans. So beatings should be light and not in the face....
"If you beat her with a toothpick, or if you beat her lightly with your hand, and so on, it is meant to convey: 'Woman, it has gone too far. I can't bear it anymore.' If he beats her, the beatings must be light and must not make her face ugly. He must beat her where it will not leave marks. He should not beat her on the hand... He should beat her in some places where it will not cause any damage. He should not beat her like he would beat an animal or a child - slapping them right and left. Unfortunately, many husbands beat their wives only when they get mad, and when they start beating, it as if they are punching a wall - they beat with their hands, right and left, and sometimes use their feet. Brother, it is a human being you are beating. This is forbidden. He must not do this."

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Repost: Election Night Notes

Read the election night coverage that the media in Mississippi have censored and do not want you to read. Election night coverage that was too strong for The Clarion-Ledger, The Jackson Free Press, WAPT, WJTV, WLBT, and even the I-55 Kroger Morning Coffee Crew as well as the Ditty Wah Ditty:

Click Here to Read More..

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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