Monday, November 12, 2007

Two Months Without Heather

Today marks the day two months ago that my world, as I knew it, changed forever and I lost my beautiful girl. It doesn't get any easier. My grief follows me and everywhere I go, festive decorations remind me of the upcoming holidays, Heather's favorite time of the year. But instead of shopping for her gifts, I'm shopping for something special to put on her grave. This shouldn't be. She should be here. Up until she was 25 years old when I still lived in Jackson, I would put out "Santa Claus" for her and her brother and fill their stockings. Not a lot, just some things they could wake up keep the fun going and keep our tradition alive. I have videos of every year, getting up in the early morning hours and video-taping them as they walked into the living room, tree lit and Christmas music playing...seeing the sleepy smiles on their faces as they surveyed their gifts. But best of all were the hugs and kisses that we shared. My arms ache for a hug from her.

One of Heather's favorite holiday foods was deviled eggs. I have a photo of her from last year, at her grandmother's, stuffing eggs with a big smile on her face. Several of the eggs would disappear before they ever made it to the table! And gifts...she was such a great gift-giver, so thoughtful, a giver from the heart. After my move way up north, she always seemed to know exactly what I needed. A down stuffed jacket, a big fluffy robe that she said was 'the warmest robe you'll ever wear', and it is. And so many more things she knew were special to me.

I miss her. I miss everything about her. We all do. Not just at holiday time, but every minute of every day. I am thankful for the 28 years I had with her. She helped mold me as well as I did her, growing up together, mother and daughter, learning from each other. I am also thankful for my son, who inspires me and continues to make me proud. Never take what you have with your children for granted. Hug them, kiss them and tell them you love them, every day. Other than our hope of eternal life in Heaven, our children are the true gifts we are given on this earth.

posted by LHF.

additional post by LHF: Heather's Tree:

Kingfish note: LHF is the mother of Heather Spencer. Feel free to post comments. If you wish to contact her, please send me an email at and it will be forwarded to her. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.


Anonymous said...

Does LHF have a preferred charity to which one could give this coming holiday season in memory of Heather?

Kingfish said...

My recommendation would be to give to the burial fund for Heather. Heather did not have life insurance. Her mother lives in Michigan so that means every time she comes down here as a result of this tragedy, its not cheap. I had an earlier post in September with the information:

Every bit of help is greatly appreciated.

Anonymous said...

God Bless you Mrs.Linda!I am glad you continue to post blogs & sweet heather still gets comments in her Guestbook.this way people who did not have the great joy of knowing her can get a sense of how her beauty ran deeper than words can describe!it also shows your strength & beauty Mrs.Linda. When heather & I were just girls you were so sweet all the time when we were jumping in the backyard'making the dog howl, or terorizing poor xan you showed then what heather showed in her adulthood.the heart! Love you all
Kristy m

Kingfish said...

You guys beat up on a little brother? That used to be one of my favorite pasttimes.

Anonymous said...

Please keeping writing. Many of us think of you and your loss and often wonder how you are doing, hoping you will somehow make it through another day.

Anonymous said...

As one who has suffered the loss of a loved one, I can tell you that the emptiness never goes away. It will eventually be ruled by acceptance of the loss. Acceptance will be the key to moving on with your life without your loved one. I accept that my loved one is not going to walk back into my life yet the aching of my heart is not as logical as my mindset.
The many stages of grief are many and must run its own course, it is not managed by a clock or calendar. Grief finds it progression only by forward movement and acknowledgement of all its emotions.
Keep writing's healing!!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful angel Heather must be. Keep the faith. The guilty will get theirs, if not from a judge here on earth, most definitely from the final Judge.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS