Monday, December 31, 2012

Celebrate New Year's Eve at Olga's

Reservations available but not required. 601-366-1366

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Don't be quotin' no Faulkner

The offending ad
At least if you want to avoid a lawsuit. Faulkner Literary Estate, LLC has been very busy this year as the Virginia-based company sued The Washington ****, Northrop Grumman, and Sony Pictures over the use of Faulkner quotes in ads and movies. Faulkner filed the suit against Northrup on October 26, 2012 in U.S. District Court in Jackson. Judge Henry Wingate dismissed the case with prejudice on December 12 after the parties settled the case.

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Sunday, December 30, 2012

To retire or not to retire, that is the question.

Is he retired or isn't he? That is the question to be asked about Hinds County District 2 Supervisor Doug Anderson. Several supervisors received phone calls over the weekend stating Mr. Anderson is rescinding his retirement.

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Friday, December 28, 2012

Oh yeah.

Less than one month to go.

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Celebrate New Year's Eve at Olga's.

 Come to Olga's for New Year's Eve or as Olga wrote:

The greatest blast of the year!
It's New Years Eve at Olga's - where everybody knows your name!
When 2013 comes around you'll be at the coolest bar in town with your friends & family near So book your spot. We've got what you want
From dinner to dancing to drinks, Choose early or late
We'll save you a plate!
Family and Friends music will be the
joined forces of Renegade (Gena Stringer and David Steele) and The
McGee Boys - (Ronnie, Gavin, and Grant!)
What a treat!!
It's New Years Eve - Come celebrate with us!

Reservations are accepted for New Year's Eve.

This post is a paid advertisement.

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NYT thinks young people working is a bad thing

This is how a clueless out of touch liberal thinks. The New York Times apparently thinks its better to go to college, run up a bunch of student loans, and remain unemployed instead of gasp, getting a job and making money:

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Latest crime stats

Here are the latest crime stats available online:

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Thursday, December 27, 2012

Ayers-Elliot announces candidacy

Cindy Ayers-Elliot announced her candidacy for the senate seat formerly held by the now-deceased Alice Harden in this press release.

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Rooks-Barber fires back at Sun-Herald

Elizabeth Rooks-Barber fired back at the Sun-Herald about its coverage of her contract with the Department of Marine Resources in a letter to the editor a few days ago. Since this website published the original story as well as additional information, it seems only fair to publish her letter in its entirety. Ms. Rooks-Barber is the wife of Madison County Tax Assessor Gerald Barber.

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Movies in Jackson?

Jackson's decline brings one big problem to its citizens:finding basic amenities one expects to have in a city of over 150,000 people. Need to buy a pair of blue jeans? Go to Rankin or Madison County. Want to see a movie? Cross the county lines. However, our city fathers want to do something about this problem. Good for them. I applaud them for it. However, they can't seem to take the easy way on anything as they are talking about a government-private business partnership to bring a movie theater to Jackson. Yup. Senatobia can have a movie theater without government help but these guys have to conjure up grants and other big gummint ideas just so we can go to the movies. Next thing you know, they are going to tell us we have to sell some bonds (and you know what that will mean.). The Clarion-Ledger reported yesterday:

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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Local photographer sues publisher over Sweet Potato Queens ebook.

Update: Suit says $150,000 per infringement. Assuming all twenty-one color-glossy photographs with a paragraph on the back of each one were used in the ebook, the requested damages are $3.15 million.

Rankin County photographer Suzi Altman sued Random House Publishing in October in U.S. District Court in Jackson, Mississippi for copyright violations.  She charged Random House used her photographs in a Sweet Potato Queens ebook without her permission or paying her compensation.

The suit alleges Ms. Altman shot twenty-one photographs of different Sweet Potato Queens and "food dishes" for the book authored by Jill Connor Browne.  It is not known if the photographs were glossy or had a paragraph on the back of each one. Ms. Altman copyrighted the photographs in May 2002. She claims she "licensed the use of the photographs to Random House" for use in a "printed edition of a book with a physical spine."  Ms. Altman also states she issued a license to the publisher to use the photographs in an audio book format as well.

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Mobile tornado

Here are some videos I found of the tornado that hit Mobile yesterday

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Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Mafia in New Orleans

Want a break from all the Christmas merriment today? Here is a post from the archives about the history of the Mafia in New Orleans. Long but fun read. 

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Caesar, Christmas, & Damascus

The Wall Street Journal publishes this decades-old column every Christmas as its lead editorial. It seemed fitting to post it here. Enjoy.

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The true meaning of Christmas

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Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas (NSFW)

The Kingfish wishes you a Merry Christmas and hopes Santa brings you something in stockings.  Its been a fun year at Jackson Jambalaya and 2013 will bring more goodies to loyal readers of this website. The website will be getting a much needed facelift. There will be some original productions. Then there is the legislature. JJ plans on recording more committee meetings and posting them for all of you to see. Nothing like some good ole sunshine. Having said that, enjoy the post.  This post is not safe for work, not safe for kids, and not safe for anyone in general.

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Maria: Are you incompetent?

Maria Bartiromo asks a Senator if he and the rest of Congress are "incompetent" on CNBC:

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Sunday, December 23, 2012

Classic for a reason.

A few of you asked if I will post A Charlie Brown Christmas. Here it is. Enjoy.

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Court appoints counsel to represent Claiborne Frazier

Collection of all posts on the Frazier case

U.S. Magistrate Judge Keith Ball appointed public defender Keith Drew to represent Claiborne Frazier. A federal grand jury indicted Mr. Frazier for attempt and conspiracy to commit fraud. Attorney John Collette represents Austin Frazier, while Merrida Coxwell represents Spencer Copeland. The order as well as the conditions of Mr. Frazier's bond are posted below.

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Saturday, December 22, 2012

"Campaign malpractice"

The Washington**** confirms more of what is becoming obvious to everyone: The Romney campaign was repeatedly outclassed and beaten to the punch on media buys. The  **** reports:

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Friday, December 21, 2012


Blast from the past: Leontyne Price. Here are some performances of the operatic legend I dug up on Youtube including a beautiful version of "O Holy Night":

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Whose rights were they worried about?

Connecticut has some of the toughest gun control laws in the county but conversely it also has the weakest laws for dealing with those suffering from mental illness.  There was a push in the legislature earlier this year that would force the mentally ill to take prescribed medications. Some version of this bill is the law in forty-five states.  Needless to say, the proposal generated a GREAT deal of opposition:

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MCPP sets Loome straight

The Mississippi Center for Public Policy purchased distribution rights on JJ.

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dr. Smith asks federal court to stop prosecution. Claims no bullet casing from "shooter" found.

Dr. Arnold Smith asked a federal court to issue a preliminary injunction against the prosecution in his capital murder case. A grand jury indicted Dr. Smith for capital murder for his alleged participation in a "murder for hire plot" to kill Greenwood attorney Lee Abraham.  Mr. Abraham represented Dr. Smith's ex-wife in their divorce. 

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Save this mutt.

Email me at if interested.  Owner surrender to the pound, he is about 11 weeks old. He appears to be a jack Russell mix but he will be much bigger, so maybe some shepherd mix.  $95, he will have 1st & 2nd set of puppy shots & be neutered.
Good looking mutt. Nice Christmas present. Someone step to the plate. 

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House for rent.

This house is for rent in Fondren. 1,800 square feet. One-car garage. Fenced-in back yard.  3 bedroom, 2 bath, den, living room, and washroom.  Beautiful hardwood floors. Kitchen appliances are Viking.  Pictures are below. Shoot email to for more information.

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The Lord's Prayer

The Hinds County Board of Supervisors allows caroling at the meeting before Christmas and then begins the meeting with a prayer. Election Commissioner-Elect Santore Bracey sang the Lord's Prayer. I think you will enjoy watching this video.

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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Bond set for Fraziers at $10,000

U.S. Magistrate Keith Ball set bond at $10,000 for Claiborne Frazier, Austin Frazier, C.E. Frazier, Jr., and Spencer Copeland this afternoon. Merrida Coxwell represented Spencer Copeland, John Colette represented Austin Frazier, and a federal public defender represented Claiborne Frazier and C.E. Frazier.

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Collection of all posts on the Frazier case

A federal grand jury indicted Claiborne Frazier, Austin Frazier, and C.E. Frazier, Jr. on December 12, 2012 for mail fraud and money laundering. The grand jury also indicted Spencer Copeland for money laundering. C.E. Frazier, Jr. is the father of Austin and Claiborne. Mr. Copeland is the step-brother of Austin and Claiborne. The defendants have been taken into custody.

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Casey Phillips: Rising star on the consulting horizon

Roll Call recently published a feature story on political consultant Casey Phillips.  Mr. Phillips is the owner of Red Print Strategies, a D.C.-based firm.  Mr. Phillips ran Dilbert's campaigns as well as several others in Mississippi.  Roll Call reports:

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WJNT last week

Sorry posting late but this is the show from last week.  We discussed Bolivar County and Bennie Thompson. 

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Monday, December 17, 2012

Wakeboarding Santa

Oldie but goodie. This video is from a year ago but hey, its the Christmas season.

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Vote in poll

Update: Here are the results:

Yes. Abolish middle schools. 148 (63%)
No. 44 (18%)
No opinion. 42 (17%)

Since we discuss education quite a bit on this website, I thought I would throw out a different type of poll question: Should we bring back junior high schools and abolish middle schools?

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

DMR paid Madison Tax Assessor's company over $600,000. Feds question the work... or lack of it.

The federal government cited a company owned by Madison County Tax Assessor Gerald Barber in an audit of the Coastal Impact Assistance Program. Mr. Barber and his wife Elizabeth own Barber & Mann. DMR paid the company over $600,000 in fees since 2009 under several consulting contracts according to the Department of Finance and Administration website. The Inspector General states DMR awarded the contracts without accepting competitive bids. Such agreements violate federal law. The Sun-Herald published the report in October.

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Loome on the loose

The Parents' Campaign Nancy Loome blasted charter schools in a column that appeared in newspapers around Mississippi:

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Saturday, December 15, 2012

AFT leader advocates "bar exam" for teachers

Want to improve the quality of teachers in the classroom? The President of the American Federation of Teachers has an idea. Randi Weingarten advocates in a Wall Street Journal column making teachers pass the equivalent of a "bar exam". Naturally there are to be no "bar complaints" filed against individual teachers, mind you but hey, its great at making it tougher to become a teacher.  Did I mention she is a lawyer?  Read on.

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Scot Allen announces his candidacy for House District #59 seat

Scot Allen announces candidacy for State House of Representatives—District 59

I am Scot Allen and I announce my candidacy for the office of State Representative for House District 59. The District is composed of the Reservoir area in Rankin County, part of Flowood, and part of Brandon. I humbly ask for your vote in the upcoming election on January 8th.

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A Christmas Carol

I was going to post "A Charlie Brown Christmas" today but after yesterday, I think I will wait before I post that video. Here is the entire showing of "Scrooge", starring Alaister Sim in 1951. Needless to say, Mr. Sim's Scrooge is a real s.o.b.  Its considered the best version of the Dickens classic although George C. Scott almost stole the role for himself in 1984. Enjoy.

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Friday, December 14, 2012

Connecticut shooting thread.

Consider this post to be a thread about the shooting at the elementary school in Connecticut. Our prayers go out to the families there. There is simply nothing to say at a time like this. Feel free to vent, grieve, or post updates here. KF.

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Uh-oh. Stokes. Need I say more?

Stokes wants to appoint Nathan Hargrove to the board of Hinds Community College. Agenda

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A Jackson Christmas tradition fades away

Whispering Pines and Wingfield Estates. Two South Jackson neighborhoods that brought the spirit of the Christmas season every year to the Jackson area as residents put on a festival of lights. Bumper to bumper traffic. Lanterns lining the streets.   A holiday tradition everyone enjoyed. Although the character of South Jackson changed over the last ten years, the Christmas displays continued year after year.  Since neither of us saw the Christmas lights in three years, StilettoGOP and I visited the two neighborhoods last night with videocameras rolling as we did for the "Cruising McDowell Road" post earlier this year. I won't spoil the fun for you. Just watch the videos below.

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Doug Anderson backs disgraced judge as his replacment.

Doug Anderson's daughter said he will support Joe Lewis as his replacement on the Hinds County Board of Supervisors. The same Joe Lewis who was removed from the bench in 2005 by the Mississippi Supreme Court for making inappropriate advances towards several women. Jackie Anderson Woods made the statement during a press conference announcing Mr. Anderson's resignation.

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Thursday, December 13, 2012

JPD make arrests in Colonial Circle burglaries

JPD issued the following press release:

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Doug Anderson resigns (Video)

Supervisor Robert Graham called it a "difficult day".    Jackie Anderson Woods announced at a press conference today her father, Hinds County District 2 Supervisor Doug Anderson, will resign from the Board of Supervisors on January 1, 2013. Mr. Anderson was not present.

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Bennie lied to Justice Department about Bolivar

District 2 Congressman did not exactly tell the truth when he sent a letter to the Justice Department protesting school district consolidation in Bolivar County.  The Congressman was quite upset the state would dare do something about one-school districts paying superintendents salaries over $117,000.The Congressman could not resist playing the race card. One can almost imagine him writhing on the floor and foaming at the mouth as he wrote this letter. How dare those white Republicans do something in the Delta. Who do they think they are? The Congressman wrote in his letter:

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From the mailbag, part II

I posted last week an email from a listener who took exception to what I said about majority-black public school districts on the radio last week.  The same person sent these emails prior to sending these emails. Enjoy.

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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Ugh. Just ugh.

Pig's tongue. How does the mutt eat this stuff. Ugh.

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BPF: Study shows Kemper will increase rates $76 per month

Bigger Pie Forum commissioned a study to determine the effect the Kemper project will have on utility bills for residential and commercial customers. BPF stated in a recent post:

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Health Care Symposium tomorrow

The Commissioner of Insurance will hold a health care symposium tomorrow at the convention center. See flyer posted below for more details.

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Majority-black public school districts spend more per student, waste more money, get worse grades

Note: This was first posted on December 4, 2012 but I am bumping it up as I will be discussing some of this on the radio this week as well as my earlier post about Bolivar County schools.

Highlights of post:
-All district report cards reviewed with charts included below. 

-Districts reviewed on # of teachers hired/Total # of employees
-Total spending per student compared by grades and majority race. All federal, state, & local funding dollars is included.
-Statistics are compared between majority-black and majority-white districts. Charts included.
-Districts over 80% of one race are compared to each other. Charts included.

A review of annual report cards for all Mississippi public school districts reveals some uncomfortable trends: majority-black districts in Mississippi spend more money per student, hire a fewer percentage of teachers, and have worse ratings than majority-white districts. The picture worsened for districts at least 80% black. They spend $2,000 more per student than  districts at least 80% white while performing much worse.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

LG releases $5.52 billion budget for 2014.

Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves announced the proposed 2014 budget in this press release:

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Let the games begin

Bradley Lum, Bennie Hubbard, Scott Allen and Brent Powell qualified for House of Representatives District #59 yesterday.

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Employee embezzles over $80,000 from church

A police report states an employee embezzled $80,000 from Broadmeadow United Methodist Church in Fondren.

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Latest crime stats

Here are the latest crime reports available online. Sorry, Jackson's have not been updated in several weeks and are still stuck on October 28.

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Monken to USM

Excellent choice. I wish Miles would fire Stud and hire him to be his OC but such is not to be. If you want a look at his offense with real talent, watch the 2007 Sugar Bowl. He called the plays in that game against Notre Dame.

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Nothing like road trips

The Tiger Girls got a little bored on a road trip and decided to produce this video:

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Sierra Club attacks Haley

The Sierra Club issued this press release charging former Governor Haley Barbour "failed to disclose his financial ties to corporate giant Southern Company, parent company of Mississippi Power (MPCO).

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Party switch!!!

Mississippi Republican Party just issued a press release stating a politician is going to switch parties:

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JJ looks at Superintendent salaries

Ever wonder what Superintendents make in Mississippi? Check out the chart below.

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Sunday, December 9, 2012

WJNT Thursday

Kent & Larry took my Tuesday post about Mississippi education and ran with it on their Thursday morning show on WJNT.

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JPS & bonds, what could go wrong?

The Jackson Free Press published a report on the decision by the Jackson Public School Board to refinance some bonds. It turns out JPS is going down the road taken by the city of Jackson a few years ago: running up the bond credit card to get more cash up front but pay more later than if it had done nothing. The JFP reports:

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Sun-Herald finds more dirt at DMR, good ole boy dirt.

The Sun-Herald's Karen Nelson uncovered more shenanigans in the scandal at the Department of Marine Resources. Ms. Lee reports DMR spent over $1 million of money meant for artificial reefs to lease boats from foundations, including one operated by the Executive Director of DMR:

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Friday, December 7, 2012


College football is over. Nascar is on its winter break. What to watch, what to watch. Want some good political theater? The complete episodes of I Claudius are on Youtube. Here is the first episode. No fancy sets, no special effects, no Spartacus sex scenes, just good old-fashioned script-writing. Enjoy.

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WJNT Wednesday

I discussed the post about public education in Mississippi on the show this week. Enjoy. Kent & Larry discussed it on their show yesterday and today. I'll post the recordings to those shows over the weekend.

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WJTV covers Twin Creeks. Haley defends state role to AP.

WJTV covered the Twin Creeks failure and problems at Silicor in this story last night:

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Senator Chris McDaniel honors heroes of Pearl Harbor

Senator Chris McDaniel (R-Jones) honors the heroes of Pearl Harbor in this column submitted to JJ:

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Remember Pearl Harbor

Today we all remember the day the Japs bombed Pearl Harbor. We took our licks, toughened up, and gave them more then they ever bargained for when they pulled off their sneak attack. If interested in a good movie telling the story of the attack, watch Tora, Tora, Tora. It was made back in the 1970's and is far superior to the theatrical piece of garbage starring Ben Affleck a few years ago. This is a link to a gallery of photos taken after the attack at Here is color video of the attack:

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From the mailbag

Seems my little posts about Mississippi education and discussing them on WJNT got someone's attention. Here is the email I received this week:

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Thursday, December 6, 2012

Santelli & Liesman spar

What would be a fiscal cliff discussion without Santelli & Liesman going at it in this video?

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Senator Alice Harden passed away.

JJ just learned Senator Alice Harden passed away.  Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves issued this statement:

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Feds approve Bolivar consolidation. Look at what Bennie supports.

The Justice Department approved the consolidation of Bolivar County school district in a September letter sent to the Mississippi Attorney General. The Mississippi Legislature passed a law this year mandating Bolivar reduce the number of districts from six to no more than three. The law generated much opposition from Bolivar residents.

However, my review of Mississippi school district report cards yielded quite a few nuggets about Bolivar County school districts that didn't make into that post earlier this week. Take a look at some basic facts about these districts below and pay attention to the Superintendent salaries as well as the size of the districts.

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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Lum announces run for the House.

That is run for the House, not run to the House.  Bradley Lum announced his candidacy to replace Kevin McGee in this press release:

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MCPP. Sign the petition. Oppose Obamacare exchanges.

The Mississippi Center for Public Policy issued this statement and petition:

Our friends at the Goldwater Institute created a short video giving six reasons states should be opposed to the insurance exchanges being set up under Obamacare. While Mississippi is saying yes, 21 states are saying no. Here’s why:

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Wanted: Dead or alive.

Well, actually alive but if dead it won't bother me even though it won't happen.  These thugs posted below are wanted for attacking the manager of the Swell-O-Phonic on North State Street Monday night:

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NYT asks if incentives & tax breaks really pay off for states

The New York Times published a story Sunday on how states are giving major incentive packages and tax breaks to corporations in an effort to recruit industry but are often left holding the bag. The story included an interactive map allowing the reader to see a list of projects and incentives for each state.

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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Belated Happy Thanksgiving

How did I forget to do this? Enjoy.

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Dr. Smith sues Jim Hood & D.A. in federal court

Dr. Arnold Smith filed a Section 1983 lawsuit against Attorney General Jim Hood, District Attorney Dewayne Richardson, and Assistant District Attorney Timothy Jones in U.S. District Court Monday. The suit alleges the three defendants acted to deprive Dr. Smith of his fourth amendment rights. Dr. Smith was indicted for allegedly masterminding a murder for hire plot to kill Greenwood Attorney Lee Abraham. Dr. Smith is incarcerated without bond in the Leflore County Detention Center.

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Monday, December 3, 2012

Mississippi's health insurance exchange now live

Mississippi's health insurance exchange is now active. is the title for the exchange. 

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Meet the new & improved Archie

Moved up in the family from throwing phones at people & assaulting security guards to this:

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I wish this was a photoshop.

A fine representation of a Canton Public School education:

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Feds to states: No exchange, no problem. We have a fee for that.

Insurance companies providing coverage in states that do not set up a health insurance exchange under Obamacare will pay a 3.5% surcharge on premiums.  The surcharge will fund the creation and maintenance of the federal exchanges for such states.

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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Yes, he is elected.

Our favorite Congressman, last seen worrying that too many Marines would cause Guam to sink into the ocean, now wants to pass a constitutional amendment to "control" the free speech rights of corporations and businesses since they might oppose ideas he suppports. Can't make this up.

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Supreme Court allows citizens to videotape the police.

Recording a police officer with a cellphone became easier after the Supreme Court let stand a 2011 Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals ruling that affirmed the right of citizens to record police officers performing their duties in public. (No. 12-318) The Court denied certiori to an appeal by the State of Illinois on November 26.* The Seventh Circuit decision overturned a fifty-year old Illinois statute making it a crime to record “all or any part of any conversation” without the consent of all parties. The ACLU filed suit after it announced it was going to start recording police officers while in the performance of their duties.

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Ole Miss changing uniforms.

Ole Miss is talking to Nike about new uniforms in 2013. Here are some of the new helmets that are up for consideration. The Gray one is pretty bad-ass.

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GOP Inside baseball

The political junkies on both sides will enjoy this post. Erick Erickson at Redstate declared war on the "consultant class" after election day.  He penned a series of posts naming names and diagramming the relationships.  Erick ramped it up in his latest missile, oops, I meant missive, against the consultants he says are strangling the Republican Party.  Mr. Erickson writes:

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Saturday, December 1, 2012

Small school snapshot.

I'm posting a snapshot of Mississippi public schools Monday based on reviewing report cards for a solid week. Here is a quick look at one group: the school districts under 1,000 students.  Enjoy.

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Governor: Twin Creeks "has failed"

The Associated Press reports Governor Bryant said the Twin Creeks project in Senatobia failed and the state is seeking repayment of the $27.7 million loan provided to the company.  AP reporter Jeff Amy writes:

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS