Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Clinton Rejects Medical Marijuana 60%-40%

 Medical marijuana will not be coming to Clinton after voters rejected it at the polls today.  

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Committee Approves Jackson Water District Bill

 The Mississippi House of Representatives Public Utilities Committee approved SB #2889 this afternoon.  The bill creates a public utility district to operate Jackson's water and sewer services. 

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Stamps Stumps

State Representative De'Keither Stamps (D-H.D. Gibbes & Sons) had a few things to say at church Sunday.  

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Guilty Plea in McDowell Road Murder

Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens issued the following statement. 

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Mayhem & Destruction in Brandon (Updated)

 The Brandon Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Medicaid Postpartum Coverage Cost: $7.1 Million

 It appears Medicaid will continue to offer postpartum coverage for 12 months after Speaker of the House Philip Gunn surrendered yesterday.  The Speaker killed a bill providing such coverage last year after it passed the Senate.  However, Governor Tate Reeves announced Sunday he supported the additional coverage.  

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Monday, February 27, 2023

Weed Wars: Clinton Takes Its Turn Tomorrow

The city of Clinton will hold a referendum tomorrow on whether to allow medical marijuana.  Mayor Phil Fisher held a special town hall Friday to give citizens a chance to discuss the issue with the Mayor and Board of Aldermen.  All aldermen except James Lott appeared.  The video of the town hall meeting is posted below.  Voting will take place at Traceway Park. 

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Officer Dope Still a Dope

 The Ridgeland Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Coincidence?

 A 17 year-old man showed up at UMMC this morning with a gunshot wound before succumbing to his injuries.   

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Jacobs Gets on the Water Plant Ladder

 Jackson Water Manager Ted Henifin inked a six-month contract with Jacobs Engineering last week to operate Jackson's water treatment plants.  WLBT reported Friday: 

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Energy Dept Concludes Lab Leak Likely

More U.S. intelligence concludes the Covid-19  pandemic originated in a lab.  The Wall Street Journal reported: 

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Brandon is All Right with The Doobie Brothers

 The 50th anniversary tour of the Doobie Brothers is coming to Brandon in August.  

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Sunday, February 26, 2023

Homicide on Jefferson Street

 A homicide took place on Jefferson Street near High Street.  The Capitol Police is working the case.  One individual was shot to death while another shooting victim was taken to the hospital.  More information will be posted as it becomes available. 

Update: The deceased was a participant in the Fondren shootout several weeks ago. 

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Governor Supports Extending Postpartum Medicaid Coverage

Lord Protector Tate Reeves issued the following statement on Facebook: 

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You Don't Have to Do It

Weakness is strength. Death before life.  No, those are not passages from 1984 but are messages in the late Dr. Frank Pollard's 1995 sermon posted below.  If you can't make it to church, enjoy the sermon preached from Romans 6: 7-14.

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Bill Crawford: Early Interventions Could Lift Mississippi off Bottom

 State Sen. Nicole Akins Boyd of Oxford, who chaired the Senate Study Group on Women, Children and Families last year, wants to improve Mississippi’s First Steps early intervention program. “We’re not doing a good job on this,” she said on SuperTalk radio.  

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Friday, February 24, 2023

Quintuplets!

Annie Oeth authored the following press release for UMC. 

The Ladner family of Purvis grew from two to seven Feb. 16 when Haylee and Shawn welcomed the birth of quintuplets at Wiser Hospital for Women and Infants at the University of Mississippi Medical Center.  

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Waaaaahhhhh!!!

Mayor attacks amended HB #1020. 

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement: 

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Idiot of the Day

Check out today's idiot. Naturally he was wearing an Oregon sweatshirt and sporting the Austin version of the New Iberia haircut.  Props to the Good Samaritan and condolences to the deceased's family.  At least justice was served. 

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Major Surgery for HB #1020

The infamous HB #1020 underwent some major surgery yesterday in the Senate Judiciary "A" Committee.  The bill was the subject of protests and national media coverage as it expanded the CCID and replaced elected judges with appointed judges within the district.  

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Flashback Friday: Stokes Declares War on Mayor

This post was originally published on February 24, 2021. 

It was a press conference for the ages as Kenneth Stokes called the Jackson Mayor "Lying Lumumba".  However, the Ward 3 Councilman was just getting warmed up as he said the Mayor was incompetent and had "a relationship with dope boys."  Make no mistake, this was Kenneth Stokes completely unvarnished and unleashed.  

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Thursday, February 23, 2023

Seeing Qatar

 Suppose you are going to be in Qatar for a few days but here is a dilemma: what do do, what do to? Fortunately, there are a plethora of Youtube videos that provide quick little primers on visiting the oasis of the Middle East.  A couple of such videos are posted below.  Enjoy. 

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A Water Payment in Every Pot?

 It appears quite a few Jackson residents might see their past due water bills wiped free.  WAPT reported: 

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Manslaughter Indictment Dropped Against Rez Shooter

 A highly-charged Reservoir homicide case ended in a minor conviction.  Circuit Judge Steve Ratcliff sentenced Deshawn Douglas to serve ten years in prison after Douglas pleaded guilty to tampering with physical evidence.  However, Douglas will probably be released after serving 25% of his sentence.  

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Sanderson Tower Adds Pain Clinic for Children

Annie Oeth penned the following essay for UMC. 

Kaeden Thigpen’s right foot hurt so much that the high school student couldn’t wear a shoe.  He has a chronic pain condition called complex regional pain syndrome.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Freudian Slip?

 Check out this little blurb from you know who's press conference last week.  Interesting use of a particular word. 

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Briarwood 1 Owner Fights to Stay Out of Jail

Briarwood 1 owner Mike Kohan filed an emergency petition for a temporary restraining order and a preliminary injunction against in Hinds County Chancery Court on February 15 after Jackson Municipal Court Judge Jeff Reynolds ordered his arrest on February 14.  Coincidentally, a cleanup crew recently started work at the building. 

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Robert St. John: Easy Bake Memories

The year was1968. It was my 7th Christmas. Also, the first Christmas after my father died. The only thing I asked for that year was an Easy Bake Oven. When my mom took my brother and me to visit Santa Claus at the Maison Blanche department store in New Orleans (because that’s where the real Santa always was, those others in the stores back home were just helpers) I told the Big Guy that the Easy Bake was the only thing on my list, and all I wanted. When my older brother found out what I asked for he thought it was hilarious and wondered why I wanted a “girl toy.”

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Free Coffee Friday at Broad Street Bakery

 


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Sid Salter: Jimmy Carter Last Democrat to Win a Mississippi Presidential Election

 Like most of the rest of the country, I was saddened to learn over the weekend that former President Jimmy Carter had decided after a prolonged battle with cancer and advancing age to end the fight on his terms and enter hospice care. May God grant him peace and comfort.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Capitol Police Arrest Suspect in Reddix Murder

 The Capitol Police arrested Kenneth Gross for the murder of Joseph Reddix today.  An investigator's affidavit states: 

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Need Relief? Help is on the Way

Need help with your water bill? Never fear, Sista Rukia is here.  

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McDonald's Killer Gets 40 Years

Madison-Rankin District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement: 

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Who Ordered the Code E? Part Deux

Consultant said Ecode used for fraud in 2015. 

U.S. District Judge Wingate caught the courtroom by surprise when he outed the "Ecode" program at a hearing on Jackson's water system Friday.  He was not merely ruminating in the penumbras as he said Jackson had a history of giving free water service to friends and family of the favored few.  A 2015 Raftelis report described the program in some detail.  

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Monday, February 20, 2023

Welcome to......... KimTV

That's right, Jackson's radio strongman, KIM Waaaaaaaade has his own little online tv show. Kim takes on Jackson crime, HB #1020, and a few other pet topics.  If you're familiar with his radio show, you know what's coming.  Enjoy.    

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Catch & Release! Squawk! Catch & Release!

Does Tillis give ammo to HB #1020 supporters? 

JPD issued the following statement.

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Ewwwwwww

 Well this little sewage overflow has been taking place for several months.  Nice.  

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FREEBIRD!!!

Rednecks unite.  Lynyrd Skynyrd is coming to Brandon. Red Mountain Entertainment announced: 

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Sunday, February 19, 2023

Under the Table

Buckle your chinstraps.  The final John Wick 4 trailer dropped a few days ago, with a nod to The Warriors. 

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Water Manager Hints at Court Fight over Water Billing

Judge Wingate drops bombshell on "Ecodes"

Jackson Water Manager Ted Henifin told U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate that Jackson's water system is still "tenuous" although progress has been made in stabilizing the system.   The Receiver of Jackson's water system also hinted he might sue to block any proposed legislation that bar him from creating a water billing system based on property values. 

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Cleaning Out the Cobwebs

What do spiders, pigs, and sheep have to do with freedom?  The late Dr. Frank Pollard explains it all in the 1995 sermon posted below.  Enjoy today's sermon if you missed church this morning.  

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Bill Crawford: Race Still in Play in Mississippi Politics

Mississippi's favorite scourge threatens to afflict politics again this year. 

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Saturday, February 18, 2023

Customer & Employee Arrested at Wingstop

 There was a ruckus among us at the Wingstop in Ridgeland a few days ago. 

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Friday, February 17, 2023

Who Ordered the Code E?

 Some Jackson dirt, er, make that dirty water, came out in federal court today as U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate outed a long-time practice of giving free water service to friends and family of the favored few.

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Lawyers: Rankin Deputies Tortured & Shot Handcuffed Man

Six Rankin County deputies stand accused of torturing two men and shooting one through the mouth after they were handcuffed.  Attorney Malik Shabazz made the allegations at a press conference near UMMC Wednesday. 

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More Babies Born with Syphilis

 Annie Oeth authored this press release for UMMC. 

 Congenital syphilis, or infection of a baby from a mother infected with syphilis, is dramatically increasing in Mississippi, according to state data. 

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Governor Announces Major Infrastructure Funding

Lord Protector Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Thursday, February 16, 2023

Suspended!

The Clown gets to take a break from the bench.  The Mississippi Supreme Court suspended Grenada Municipal Court Judge Pro-Tem  Carlos Moore for 60 days without pay after he he used his position as a judge to pressure two police officers for a private client.  

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Rankin Woman (Allegedly) Murders Fiancé

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement. 

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It's That Time of Year

It's Mardi Gras season and you know what that means.  Randazzo's King Cakes are back at Nandy's Candy.Want the real thing? Swing by and get one.    Available flavors are cream cheese, traditional, and a limited amount of additional flavors.  You can call to reserve one as well. Enjoy.  



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Brandon High School Intruders Arrested (Updated)

 The Brandon Police Department issued the following statement. 

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In Their Own Words

 Check out what the retirees thought after the PERS Board of Trustees voted to increase the employer contribution rate from 17.4% to a record 22.4% last December on their Facebook page: 

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For Sale

These buildings can be yours IF the price is right.  

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Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Were Engineers Responsible in Fortner Death?

A hearing took place in the Frances Fortner wrongful death lawsuit in Hinds County Circuit Court today. WLBT reported: 

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Robert St. John: Neck Deep in King Cake Development

It looks like 2023 will go down as the year of the king cake— at least in my book. I have bought more king cakes, eaten more king cakes, and sold more king cakes this year than all my previous years put together, and probably by a factor of 20. 

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Feds Award $900,000 Grant for Water Operator Training Facility

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Sid Salter: Study Confirms More Rough Waters Ahead for Mississippi Shrimping, Fishing, & Oystering

Hurricanes have pounded the Mississippi Gulf Coast often over the last half-century and most Mississippians know that score by the shorthand of the names: Camille, Katrina, Elena, Georges, Ida, Rita and too many others to remember.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Judge Orders Briarwood 1 Owner's Arrest

 The owner of the Briarwood 1 building moved one step closer to going to jail after Jackson Municipal Court Judge Jeff Reynolds issued an arrest warrant for Michael Kohan today. 

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UMC Goes Big Brother

UMC  issued the following statement. 

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Happy Valentine's Day!

JJ wishes you a Happy Valentine's Day....

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Bill on PERS Rate Hikes Dies

A bill transferring authority to hike PERS contribution rates from the PERS Board of Trustees to the Legislature died on the calendar last week. 

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Oxford Bomb Threat Suspect Arrested

The Oxford Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Monday, February 13, 2023

Idiot of the Day

 Some people just can't leave well enough alone.  MSN reported: 

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Hallmark Cleaners Closing

 I'm not going to lie. I can't believe I am writing this post.  Hallmark Cleaners is closing all of their stores by the end of the month.  

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Mayor's Weekly Press Conference

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba is holding his weekly press briefing right now.  The presser is streamed below.  This post will be updated as necessary. 

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Protest Over Police Shooting Today (Updated)

Update: BLJ found out UMMC does not allow press conferences on its campus so no press conference was held. 

The Black Lawyers for Justice organization will hold a rally at UMMC at 2 PM today to protest the shooting of Michael Corey Jenkins by Rankin County Deputies on January 23.  The press release states: 

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Jackson Water Update: Coals for Christmas

Jackson Water Manager Ted Henifin said in his quarterly report that the main cause of the Christmas water crisis was failure at the O.B. Curtis Water Treatment Plant.  It was yet another shutdown in an ever-lengthening list of shutdowns at the plant.  

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Ejected!

A delta devil must have gotten into a MVSU cheerleader during the Alabama A&M-MVSU men's basketball game yesterday. 

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Sunday, February 12, 2023

Stokesradio

 The Jackson Ward 3 Councilman was back to his old self on the air today as he prayed, ranted, and took shots at Mayor Lumumba.  The last ten minutes were particularly lively.  The radio show is posted below.  Enjoy.

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Amazing Indeed

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. The late Dr. Frank Pollard weaved the story of how America's favorite hymn came to be into the message of hope he delivered in 1995.  The pastor also made a few remarks about those who use the good book to tell others how to live instead of worrying about themselves.  Enjoy the sermon posted below. 

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Bill Crawford: Gov Slams Respected Former Chancellor

 “I’d bet I hadn’t talked to this dude since well before he was fired by Ole Miss,” tweeted Gov. Tate Reeves.

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Friday, February 10, 2023

Briarwood 1 Building Owner Fights Conviction

 The owner of the Briarwood 1 building wants another day in court as he fights to stay out of jail.  

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Free It All!!!

 Live from downtown Jackson today at 3:

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Tidbit of the Day

 Today's tidbit involves what else, the city of Jackson's water system.   Jackson obtained a $27.9 million SWDRF loan from the Mississippi State Department of Health in 2021.  Guess how much the city spent? 

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Bigger Pie Forum: Legislature Signals Mississippi is Closed For Business

 For all the talk of making Mississippi more business friendly, the state legislature seems to want to do the opposite.  Two examples stand out, though there are others.

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Thursday, February 9, 2023

Fondren Fracas

 A shootout took place in The Fondren last night.  The Capitol Police issued the following statement: 

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PERS COLA Bubbles up to $850 Million

Even discussing the "thirteenth check" is political suicide in Mississippi.  Unfortunately for the ostriches, the PERS COLA rose to a record $850 million in 2022.   

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Idiot of the Day

 The Justice Department issued the following press release. 

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And Then There Was Only One

Cleveland Anderson intends to plead guilty to conspiracy to commit bribery.  The Canton Alderman filed the notice of his guilty plea in U.S. District Court today. 

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Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Jeff Good: Sad Day for Democracy

Jackson restauranteur Jeff Good posted the following message on Facebook. 

Sad day for Jackson and for representative democracy.

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Tidbit of the Day.

Marlin King served as Jackson's Public Works Director from October 2021 until he was reassigned at the end of August 2022 when Jackson's water system crashed. 

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Did Someone Say NEW YORK CITY???

The bill to create a public utility district for Jackson has created no small amount of controversy.  Lost in all the screaming over incompetence and "colonialism" is public utility districts are quite common nationwide as many major cities divorced their public utilities so they could operate semi-independently.  Heaven forbid Jackson should use something proven to work elsewhere.  Got to protect those sticky fingers and sweetheart deals, right.  

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Robert St. John: An Unbalanced Force in the Foothills

BLACKBERRY FARM— A portion of Newton’s Law of Motion states, “An object in motion remains in motion at a constant speed, and in a straight line, unless acted on by an unbalanced force.” I am not sure if Blackberry Farm has ever been described as an unbalanced force, but for the past 25 years, that is what it has been for me.

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Senate Passes Jackson Utility District Bill

The Senate approved a bill that will transfer control of Jackson's water and sewer systems from the city to a new public utility district governed by a nine-member board of directors.  The bill passed on a 34-15 vote that broke down along party and racial lines.  

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Sid Salter: Hosemann Expected to Take Fight to McDaniel

Back in 2014, Mississippi politicos underestimated Tea Party zealot State Sen. Chris McDaniel and it almost resulted in one of the state’s most shocking political upsets. At the outset, most thought McDaniel was taking on then-incumbent Republican U.S. Sen. Thad Cochran as an exercise in building name recognition for a future race.

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Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Watch the Debate

 The House is debating HB #1020 right now.  Watch below. 

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Vetoing the Mayor's Veto

 The legislature continues to tighten the handcuffs on Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba as the Senate passed a bill that will abolish vetoes of no votes.  

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Huh?

 Check out this little passage from the Clarion-Ledger's newest cub reporter, Wicker Perlis, in a story about the Jackson garbage fight: 

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Out-Foxxed

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement and mug shots.

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Health Department Fights Back Against NAACP's EPA Complaint

The Mississippi State Department of Health attempted to slap the EPA with a dose of reality as it responded to the agency's investigation of the NAACP's discrimination complaint. The NAACP accused Mississippi of intentionally depriving Jackson of money it needed to provide safe drinking water.  Simply put, the Health Department asked how it could discriminate against Jackson when it gave the city every dollar it requested. 

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Free Cancer Screenings for Women

This post is a public service announcement. 

Registration is ongoing for free cervical, breast and oral cancer screenings and education March 25 for qualifying uninsured and underinsured women.

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Monday, February 6, 2023

Idiots of the Day

 This could have ended real badly for everyone.  Posted on Facebook: 

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It's That Time of the Week

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba is holding is regular press briefing.  The press conference is streamed below.  

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ABC: Jackson did not Apply for Water Infrastructure Money in 2022

UPDATE (12:55 PM): There is a strong chance ABC is referring to Hinds County as it did not apply for the funds.  Jackson obtained $47 million. 

 ABC News' Rachel Scott reported Jackson did not apply for its share of over $400 million in water infrastructure funds Congress awarded to Mississippi last year.  The revelation came on yesterday's edition of ABC's This Week.  Check out the story posted below. 

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James Taylor Coming to Brandon

 Red Mountain Entertainment issued the following press release. 

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Sunday, February 5, 2023

Murder Suspect Hangs Himself

Update (2/6/23): MBI is investigating the death.  

Hinds County Sheriff Tyree Jones issued the following statement. 

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Stokesradio

 Kenneth I. Stokes was on a roll this morning.  The legendary Jackson City Councilman made a rather interesting claim about the relationship between Mayor Lumumba and the state.  He lamented the killing fields of Jackson and admitted he stayed at a hotel in Ridgeland during the New Year's holiday so he could avoid the gunshots.   The show is posted below. I'd report more of what he said but I'VE GOT TO GO!!!

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The Disappointment of Hope

All too often preachers are known for well, preaching fire and brimstone sermons but the late Dr. Frank Pollard said there is another way.  He preached on how a 18 year-old sickly preacher taught the real meaning of the Good Book to an already famous preacher, D. L. Moody.  It's as if someone figured out people might respond better to a message of love than fear.  Enjoy the 1995 sermon posted below. 

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Bill Crawford: Incumbent Protection Act Slims Field

 The Mississippi incumbent protection act worked like a charm. The bill authored by Rep. Jody Steverson of Ripley and adopted in 2021 moved the qualifying date for most state, district, and county elections to February 1st. 

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Governor Pushes Parents Bill of Rights in State of State

The transcript and video of Governor Reeves' annual state of the state address is posted below. Highlights: 

- Pushed parents bill of rights in schools

- Reform certificate of need laws

- Touts economic & educational success

Thank you, Lieutenant Governor Hosemann and Speaker Gunn.
 
To the members of the legislature and other elected officials here tonight, thank you. Thank you for your continued partnership and thank you for the tireless work you do on behalf of our great state and her people. 

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Saturday, February 4, 2023

Saturday Night Cinema

 Once upon a time, Hollywood produced award-winning "art movies" such as Lust for Life.  The Vincent Van Gogh biography was nominated for four Oscars as Anthony Quinn took home the award for Best Supporting Actor.  However, it was Kirk Douglas's performance as the tormented artist that deserved an Oscar. 

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There Was Supposed to be a Kaboom!

 Well, we finally got around to shooting down Red China's "weather" balloon.  Finally.  Watch the fun.  Hoorah. 

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The D.A. Goes to the Dogs

 Rankin-Madison District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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D.L. Gardner: Learning to Think Critically

 January 7, five Memphis police officers in a specially trained street crime unit pulled over Tyre Nichols (29) for allegedly driving recklessly, jerked him out of his car and pushed him down onto the ground where they surrounded him, beat him with their fists and batons, kicked him, and sprayed him with pepper spray while their body cameras and a public camera captured the attack. Tyre Nichols died three days later on January 10, from this brutal attack. 

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Friday, February 3, 2023

Feds Slap McClain's Lodge

The USDA said two animals died while others suffered from neglect in several inspections at the popular McClain Lodge on Holly Bush Road in Rankin County.  

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Car Burglars Caught

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Meddlin' Away

 Uh-oh, Trey Lamar is thinking again.  He managed to get a bill passed that requires Jackson to spend all of 1% sales tax funds on water infrastructure.  WLBT reported last night: 

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Thug Gets 18 Years for Beating FIL with Bat

Attack fractured skull, left victim permanently deaf! 

Madison-Rankin County District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Thursday, February 2, 2023

Graham Challenges Crisler

The race for Hinds County Supervisor Robert Graham's seat began yesterday and the incumbent wasted no time in trying to get his opponent thrown off the ballot.  

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Aplos to Open Sister Location

 Aplos CEO Alex Eaton issued the following statement. 

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A Compromise for HB #1020

To say the Hinds County criminal justice system has been dysfunctional has been an understatement as "catch & release" and "blessings" are favored descriptions of what passed for Hinds County justice over the years.  A frustrated legislature is taking action this year in the form of HB #1020.  However, 1020 didn't use a sledgehammer for the proverbial nail but instead uses a chainsaw to fix problems no one knew existed while polarizing the races even more.

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28 Years in Ridgeland Interstate Murder

Madison-Rankin County District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement and mugshot.

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Street Fight in Fondren?

The Democrats are at the gate and there are a few surprises at who showed up for to race.  State Senator David Blount has gotten might comfortable in his seat but Mayor Lumumba shook things up for him a little bit.  Pastor Dwayne Pickett, yes, the Pastor Dwayne Pickett qualified to run against Belhaven's Great White Father.  

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Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Marshand Wants Rematch

Never let it be said Marshand Crisler is a quitter. Despite getting drummed by five thousand votes in November 2021, he wants a rematch with Hinds County Sheriff Tyree Jones. Check out the rest of the Hinds County ballot as there are a couple of surprises. 

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Robert St. John: A Golden Opportunity

 To be successful in the restaurant business it takes total commitment and sacrifice. It's brutal way to earn a living. But for those of us who are bit by the bug, and are totally obsessed, we couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

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25 Years for Molesting Foster Daughter

 Madison-Rankin District Attorney Bubba Bramlett issued the following statement and mug shot. 

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Sid Salter: Restoration of Initiative Process Should be on Voter's Agenda in 2023

 Statewide elections will be on the ballot later this year for all state eight statewide executive branch offices, all state district offices and for all 174 posts in the Mississippi Legislature in addition to county offices and county district offices in all 82 Mississippi counties including district and county attorneys.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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