Monday, November 29, 2021

Time to Get Drunk

It's that time of year and you know what it means: It's time for my award-winning egg nog recipe:

1 cup bourbon 
1 cup brandy 
1 cup Tia Maria*
12 eggs
quart cream
quart half & half
1/2 lb powdered sugar


Directions: Separate eggs, and combine booze and yolks, and whisk in 1/2 lb of powdered sugar.
Store in fridge for 24 hrs. Keep the whites chilled also. (This is the key step.)

24 hrs later, whip cream in large bowl until thick, then add half & half and the yoke/booze mix.

Add the egg whites and whip till frothy.

Chill for a while before serving.

Get blowed up or bring to your next pancake social.


*Briarwood Package Store has TIA MARIA!!!   Other dessert liqueurs such as Frangelico or Nocello can be used but Tia Maria is the best.



The Dude said...

Man, talk about "Human Paraquat" man. That thought never occurred to me man.

Stuff About ZeroBear PolyBear said...

Great with some Pfeffernusse.

Pfeffernusse (Pepper cookies)

5 eggs beaten
2 cups sugar
Zest of 1 lemon
3 T. lemon juice
1/2 cup candied citron (or candied fruit)
6 cups cake flour (substitute 5 1/4 cups AP flour, 3/4 cup cornstarch)
2 t. baking powder
1/2 t black pepper
1/2 t salt
1 T cinnamon
1/2 t cloves
1/2 t nutmeg
1/2 t mace
1/2 cup nuts, finely chopped
3 T Grand Marnier added to batter


Beat eggs well. Add sugar gradually, beating with each addition. Add lemon zest, juice, candied fruits. Sift dry ingredients together and add. Fold in nuts and Grand Marnier. Chill 1 hour.

Roll dough into 1 inch diameter logs and slice 14 inch thick.

Place on a cooking sheet and let stand overnight in a cool place to dry. Before baking, invert and put a drop of good brandy on moist spot and bake upside down. (Tends to make them pop).

Bake in 300 degree oven for 8 minutes. Makes about 200 cookies. Store in a tightly closed container. Let ripen and soften before eating. Can roll in powdered sugar if desired.

Can place an apple slice wrapped in a paper towel into container to help them soften.

Kingfish said...

Somehow a post about egg nog developed into a war over medical marijuana. Removed all the comments. Had nothing to do with the subject of the post.

Anonymous said...

Gracious. Was it Weight Watchers that presented the award (for business development)? You ought to trademark "Heart Clog Egg Nog" before it's too late.

Anonymous said...

As long as we're sharing recipes, I'm going to borrow a bit. Place 200 cookies into a very large mixing bowl (or a cowboy hat). Pour 3/4 gallon of alcohol, sugar, and butterfat over the cookies. Serve in the mixing bowl (or cowboy hat) with a soup ladle. Serves one governor. Serve alongside a pound of half-fried bacon and a dozen eggs fried in the grease for lesser state officials.

Anonymous said...

I think you're behind the curve, FK. Most of the people I know seem to have been drunk since the opening weekend of football season, and will probably stay that way until mid-January.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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