My new, seeming BFF is a pesky and excitable fellow. He sends me emails and texts with lots of capital letters and exclamation points nearly every day.
The latest text began, “ALL HELL JUST BROKE LOOSE!” And, the latest email began, “LIVE FROM TRUMP TOWER!” No “Hi guy, what’s happening?” No, “hope all is well with you.” He just jumps right in to his notion of the moment. I’m not sure where he got my email address, though it would be easy to find if someone looked. Why he looked I don’t know. Now, my cell number is a different matter. That would take some invasive effort. What’s really surprising is he found my wife’s cell number. He’s now her BFF too. Is he yours? Here are some of his messages. See if you recognize any. “I’ll never abandon you! I CAN’T GO ON UNTIL I HEAR FROM YOU. They want me in prison for 187 years. SO PLEASE, deliver the LARGEST RESPONSE in history.” I NEED TO KNOW… Now that I’ve been found guilty in Biden’s rigged court: DO I STILL HAVE YOUR SUPPORT?” “GUILTY?! It’s a dark day in America. The Radical Left will regret this. We’ll make sure of it.” “ALL HELL JUST BROKE LOOSE! I WAS CONVICTED IN A RIGGED TRIAL!” “I’m guilty! PRAY FOR AMERICA! NOT IN A MILLION YEARS COULD I IMAGINE THIS HAPPENING IN AMERICA! I’ve been arrested, I’ve been indicted, AND NOW I WAS JUST CONVICTED IN A RIGGED TRIAL! I AM A POLITICAL PRISONER! Crooked Joe Biden & his corrupt allies want me silenced for good. They think if they BURY me with their corrupt courts, proud patriots like you will GIVE UP ON TRUMP! BUT I KNOW YOU WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON ME! TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! We’re going to need a MASSIVE response. Because at this pivotal moment in history, I need to know that you STOOD BY MY SIDE! Before the day is over, I’m calling on TEN MILLION PRO-TRUMP PATRIOTS to chip in and say, I STAND WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP!” “LIVE FROM TRUMP TOWER! I’m bypassing the lying FAKE NEWSmedia and delivering a message directly to YOU! As we speak, the DEEP STATE radicals are celebrating my felony convictions.” I never imagined a former president would reach out to me like this. I considered framing all the messages and hanging them beside photos of me with George H. W. Bush and Gerald Ford. Nah, they really don’t go together. “Let your conversation be always full of grace” – Colossians 4:6. Crawford is a syndicated columnist from Jackson.Sunday, June 9, 2024
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
27 comments:
It is pretty early I the day for heavy alcohol consumption, but it is what it is.At least early in the evening, this person will be “asleep”.
My secret fetish is watching grown men act like middle school girls. It just butters my bread. But then again I have Trump Derangement Syndrome admittedly. I might vote for the loser if he keeps up with claiming he’s a victim. So sexy to see a grown man wallow in self pity. Good for Melania.
Not sure why KF post this communist's publications.
Crawford, you actually believe the DJT is personally sending you emails? Wow, you must be very important, or is it impotent?
The men all dressing like Trump was a bizarre throw back to elementary school when dressing alike was proof you had a friend.
If the trial was " unfair" it was only that those who from families who made a decent living in NYC and who had any friends at all, knew enough about him (even when he was, by the way, still a Democrat) to know not to trust him in any relationship.
There's a reason his wives were foreign or a naive Georgia actress who landed in NYC. He really is not the "catch" he thinks he is.
DAMN! I didn't know MY BFF was also Crawford's. I'm now jealous. He's been sending me these and similar text messages three or four times a day for the past few months. Also Don Jr is sending me texts, and Laura - all saying basically the same thing.
My frustration withthis is that every day or so I have to spend time deleting them so that these texts don't block those that I need to get - like the one daily from CVS that is almost as long as their receipts, and CSpire wanting to sell me a new Iphone.
What the former president is doing with these texts claiming his victimhood is as foolish (although not as damaging to our democracy) as his claims following his loss in 2020, and highlighting to all open minds his absolute narcissism.
Someone tell Bill to look up Francis E. Dec, Esq.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_E._Dec
Recordings of Frank Dec’a letters
It’s an interesting afternoon’s worth of listening if you are curious about a reclusive man’s descent into madness. His only contact with the outside world were the random schizophrenic letters he sent to celebrities.
Bill, I hope you are grateful how successful your father was!!
@8:12 AM
Yikes.
The parenthesis scared me more than anything else.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I have to periodically unsubscribe from the R's frenzied and hyperbolic emails that come to me. Trump is a drama queen.
Ole Bill Crawford…always to be counted on as the water toter boy for leftist Democrats.
Orange man really, really bad. Don’t believe it? Read his daughters Ashley’s diary, or his criminal crack head son Hunter’s text to that Chinese energy company boss (oh, wrong guy!).
And the poor dumbed down Democrat constituency can always be counted on to take the bait from white elitist Dems (many that won’t even live in their own cities, LMAO), while their party controlled cities continue being destroyed with sky high crime including little innocent kids dying from stray bullets.
@12:16 PM
We can’t understand incoherent thoughts.
The funny part, to me, is that some people actually have to defend these crazy spam texts, usually by attacking the person who called them out.
Wait until November. Quite a few people will change their tune. Quite a few will be looking for a job and more will be laughed at.
I’m shocked!!! A Presidential campaign sending out requests for money? Awful I tell you, just awful.
I have now read where he plans to sick Seal Team 6 on those who gave him problems as soon as the idiots who support the one who went to bed with a porn actress and a porn photograph woman who wore rabbit ears while his foolish wife was sleeping elsewhere. Then he paid them and thought he would get away with falsely accounting for their bribe money so he could charge it to his election and not get zinged on his income taxes.
Excuse me, I forgot I was talking about his plans to use the military to assassinate a former president, several of his personal lawyers a congress person or two, and a couple of dozen other folks that pissed him off.
Nothing wrong with that. Dictators and crazy Czars and current Russan, Chinese and North Korean rulers have been doing it a long time. Why would it not be OK for a crazy rich guy from New York who wants to be the American Stalin or Putin or Mother Teresa?, Al Capone? Elvis?, Jesus? Antichrist?.
Note: I am going to post this as Governor Sweet Tater Baby, because there won't be enough bodyguards to keep him from having my throat cut if he gets elected and decides he is pissed off at me too.
Come to think of it, Maybe I'm Andy Gibson. Yep, That's me Andy Gibson. Does anyone know if he paid rent for using the Ag Museum for the Trump Campaign rally the other day?
I wish I could say I wasn't serious. They guy actually said he might set up a kill list for the Navy Seals to carry out. And people want to vite for him?
@1:43 PM It's SEAL, not Seal, not S.E.A.L., but SEAL.
There hasn't been a SEAL Team 6 in at least 10 years.
June 9, 2024 at 1:43 PM, link, or it didn't happen.
To turn America around it going to take the approach of one man who has proven VERY unapologetically successful: Nayib Bukele - President of El Salvador
Educate yourself on this amazing man....and of what's to come, then prepare accordingly...because it's either going to be:
A) Full-ass slamdown on all the bad guys/girls trying to destroy America.
B) Full-ass slamdown on all Americans in the final chapter of the Republic.
Choose which side you're on wisely, and buckle up.
You can gain a great understanding of a man by his heroes. Mr. Crawford took great pride in pointing out his pictures taken, with Gerald “Warren Commission” Ford, and George “C.I.A. company man, and director” H.W. Bush. Both of which had a hand in the assignation of a U.S. president. Both as slimy as a snail.
Yet, he is offended by the solicitation of a former president, that has no blood on his hands. He is offended by a man, that has no regard for the cosplay that is Washington DC politics. A man that is a threat to the uni-party that Mr. Crawford is a proud supporting member of.
Still, Mr. Crawford is not offended by the weaponizations of the so-called justice system. Or the lies told to a FISA court by members of the F.B.I. in order to spy on a candidate for president both before, and after his election. Mr. Crawford has no problem with that.
There are many more shameful acts by the deep state that mimic not a democracy, but the totalitarian tyrannical Corporatocracy that this government is. Yet, Mr. Crawford has no issue with this. It is my opinion that Mr. Crawford is a fraud when it comes to the truth, regardless of how many Bible scriptures he uses.
What 3:45 PM’s last sentence said!!!
3:09: El Salvador? Are you high?
The young are dumb, let’s hope the live to be old and wise.
5:16. Read about the President of El Salvador. He is truly amazing. He was elected as President as a first-time candidate by a huge majority. He was recently re-elected and has an approval rating of 94%. He did this by getting rid of drug dealers and corrupt politicians. El Salvador is now booming economically. El Salvador went from a very dangerous country to one of the safest countries in the world. Please educate yourself about this man. I think you will be impressed.
1:43. No more drunk texts….and your colander hat needs to be tightened down.
All of you using bible references are frauds. You’re so easy to identify.
June 10, 2024 at 9:08 AM, I use Bible scripture here, sometimes, in what way have I defrauded you?
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