Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Too Strict? We Report, You Decide

 Is this mom too strict?

@jeanettetapley Are we strict parents?! What are some of your strict rules?! How were your parents strict?! #parentingteens #parentingtips #parentinghacks #strictparents ♬ original sound - Jeanette Tapley

If you don't have Tiktok, here is the nutshell version.  

A mother asked in a TikTok video if she was too strict on her kids.  Is she? Here are her rules: 

1.  The teens have to charge their phones downstairs.

2. There are no tv's, computers, "screens" in their rooms. 

3. One blanket per person household.  No more than one person under a blanket on the couch.   

4. One-hour "screen-time limit."  No mindless scrolling for hours upon end. 

5. The kids have to tell the parents their plans before they make them.  

Needless to say, the comments overwhelmingly blasted her for daring to have rules in her house.  Here are a few: 

an HOUR screen time??? thats insane, they must feel so isolated and left out

 I’m 48, had strict parents, it typically does not end well….

 Our teens friend has strict parents. He has a burner phone😬 They WILL and DO find ways around their parents..too strict, sorry.

 As a teen with non strict parents I’m a better kid then my friends with strict parents bc I could be honest with my mom about my life

 strict parents cause sneaky kids😭as a teen i can definitely prove that

 Yeah this is pretty strict. But it just teaches them to sneak better. Coming from a sneaky teen of strict parents.

 “why do my kids not talk to me anymore?”

 All the HS kids who had strict parents, absolutely went FERAL in college

 Oh my god I thought I had strict parents. This is overkill

 as someone who had strict parents... don't act surprised when they move states away and go low contact

 get familiar with the nursing home staff.

 Blanket is fine but the rest is just making your kids hate you. Awesome job

 I can only get behind the blanket and making plans rule. Everything else is too much. Strict parents push kids to make worse decisions than if you give them some freedom and let them vent to you.

This website has covered quite a few criminal cases over the years. Let's just say lax parents have created more monsters than strict parents.  We are starting to figure out that teen addiction to smartphones is a real problem.  Heaven forbid a mother wants to keep her teens from wasting their lives on "the screens."  Knowing where the kids are? Yeah, that's a deal-breaker.  Only a control freak would want to know where her kids are, right?  No boys and girls hiding under the blanket while they watch tv?  Can't imagine what could go wrong there.  

Is the mother too strict or are the responses a troubling sign of how parenting has declined? 



Anonymous said...

Attention whore mom seeks validation of her decisions. More at 11.

Anonymous said...

Unapologetic strict parent here. I give my kids more screen time, but the other rules are spot-on. I would add one - no social media. That said, teens need to know the reasons for the rules, even if they disagree. They will respect you for being honest with them. Your worldview matters too- committed Christian families come at these issues with a different perspective, and that has to be part of the conversation. Lines of communication can stay open even when enforcing rules. That's not to say they won't rebel - I know some kids do. I also know many kids who get a good foundation at home and continue that into their adult lives.

Anonymous said...

people can parent how they want, I respect that and by whatever means you use to try and produce good humans is ok by me. For me personally, seems a tad strict because I think you don't just stamp out the bad, you TEACH them to live around it.

but every kid is different and some work better with being taught and a longer leash, and some you have to keep your thumb on so they don't try and burn your house down lol

Anonymous said...

Not nearly strict enough.

Anonymous said...

This mom should lose her kids. Total BS for her to do this.

Anonymous said...

@9:11 I recommend at a certain age you allow social media, monitor it, and teach them how to navigate it and use it. If not, you are setting them up to fail.
They need to know and understand how consequential it can be.
Better to give them room to fail when you are there to teach and guide them than to let them get it later without your supervision and guidance.

Anonymous said...

@9:21 I bet you are fun at parties

Anonymous said...

I’ve flown a few times this year in kids flying season. Most of the parents flying with kids and toddlers let them do anything. They don’t even reprimand their kids for public disruptions that would have earned a public whipping when I was a kid. The parents say nothing.

Anonymous said...

Well within the boundaries of proper parenting. I applaud her and her husband for setting reasonable limits and rules in this age of anything goes.

Anonymous said...

The mom seems to be addicted to TikTok. When she sets that example, but tells her kids how evil screens are, it’s a recipe for resentment. I’d be shocked if she is being truthful about her house rules in this video.

Anonymous said...

Actually, she's smart! It takes rules like that to keep your children from growing up with the same mindset as some of those comments blasting her! They will thank her later . . . keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I see no problem with the restrictions and doubt if their children would want to enter facility reserved for the opposite sex. Unfortunately parenting skills today have been reduced to mainly being a friend. Society shows the results of those who were raised without consequences for poor behavior.

Anonymous said...

The comments are a sign of how society's view of parenting has changed. These days, you are supposed to be a "gentle parent" and be in touch with your child's feelings. Whatever the hell that means. From my anecdotal experience, all that means is that children raised that way are allowed to do whatever they want without regard for who it may affect and without any consequences. Their behavior is reinforced by their parents, who only teach them that they can do whatever they want without repercussion.

As responsible parents, we have many jobs. One of those is to teach our children that the world is governed by rules, and that there are consequences for breaking those rules. There is nothing overbearing about the rules the parents in the video have set for their children. Yes, as some of the comments suggested, the children will probably find ways to sneak around the rules. Okay, so what? As long as there are consequences for them when they are caught, they still learn a valuable lesson that teaches them to weigh the risks associated with their choices.

And yes, parents should communicate with their children about why the rules are in place and why there are consequences for breaking them.

Anonymous said...

Most of that seems fine but I don't understand the one blanket rule. What is that supposed to accomplish or prevent?

Anonymous said...

If you don't regulate and reprimand your kids, someone else will.....

Anonymous said...

As a boomer, I find this very disheartening. I have been around long enough to see the gradual decline of each subsequent generation.

The guard rails that have been removed, to allow any type of behavior without consequences, has brought our society to the chaotic, confused, circus we have today.

It is no longer just kids that seem void of a moral compass. Look at the misnamed public servants. You can't call them leaders because their only goal is to enrich themselves. They all lie, steal, cheat, what ever is expedient to further their goals. What type of parenting produced these charlatans?

The home training, or lack thereof, from parents that wanted to be the friend of their off spring, has created this confusion. Unless you are deranged, you can see where this ends.

Anonymous said...

No too strict at all. This may sound shocking to some, but an example of strict would be a shock collar.

Anonymous said...

10:10 Funny, that seems to be the only one that most everyone agrees with. Think harder. (pun intended)

Kingfish said...

Thanks for the tip about the Salter column. Fixed.

Anonymous said...

Local organization trying to bring this whole social media and kids brain drain to the forefront. CSpire is also involved as a sponsor from what I can gather. The message and stats are pretty eye opening. My wife and I went and listened to a presentation and I have to say I agree with it. There are so many kids and adults addicted to social media and being connected that it rules their life.

Anonymous said...

Careful guys. Stretch before all this back patting. Don't want you to pull something.

Anonymous said...

10:06 and 10:41 Growing up, my parents were pretty strict, but I always knew they loved me (the important part). That being said, when I was being restricted / curtailed / grounded / whipped (yes, whipped), I HATED them for it! However, now that I'm grown, I have SO much more love and respect for them, because I NEEDED what they gave me! I wasn't necessarily that bad, but as a young person (idiot), I needed direction. I finally made the mental connection between my bad behavior with the various forms of "pain," and I corrected my ways.

As long as a parent is "strict" on their children out of love (and not of unreasonableness or abuse), I think it's the best way to good results.

Anonymous said...

As the parent of a young child, I don't see anything wrong with this at all. Kudos to her and her husband for setting boundaries, and not allowing their children to run the show. I see too many parents letting their children do anything they want because either they don't want to seem harsh in reprimanding them, or they want to be their friends more than a parents.

Anonymous said...

11:17, I'd say we are strict. I agree with you about doing it out of love and not fear or whatever else. We make sure we explain to our kids about what we do and don't allow and why. For example, no, we don't go to drinking parties kids. Here's why. Then, we discuss drinking and driving and the consequences. And we also say hey, if you do get yourself into that position where you shouldn't drive home, call us or at least an Uber. Bc as a parent, you know they will mess up, but you advise them on some things until they learn how to deal with the consequences of their actions. Long story short, I'd say we have expectations/rules for our kids. But, we don't just demand they blindly follow. We talk to them about it.

Anonymous said...

10:10: "Most of that seems fine but I don't understand the one blanket rule. What is that supposed to accomplish or prevent?"

a) If you're a guy, get your testosterone level checked.

b) If you're a female, ask Mother Superior at the convent to explain it to you. I don't want to shock you by explaining what shenanigans unsupervised teens have been known to get up to under blankets.......

Anonymous said...

"Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child."

Anonymous said...

Strictly speaking, this post has drawn out geezers and GenZeezers like moths to a flame.

Anonymous said...

I am assuming a tone of general disdain was implied in 2:50's descriptive terms.

I am a young parent and I personally welcome the geezers. Seems my elders had a more successful society than my peers so I fail to see why we should not value their input.

Seems it wasn't broke. But my fellow feel-good parenting-peers sure "fixed" it alright.

Anonymous said...

Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them (NIV).

Anonymous said...

Anyone who uses the OT for direction is lost (and effin nuts). Follow the New Book and nothing but. So many hypocrites here, I mean like “This is really Mississippi?”

Anonymous said...

If she's the mom & has rules that's great. But why the Hell is she worried about what other people on tikytok think???

Anonymous said...

Read "Anxious Generation" by Jonathan Haidt.

More kids kill themselves than die in drunk driving accidents. We tell our kids never to drink and drive, we never tell them the harms of social media.

Anonymous said...

June 12, 2024 at 4:45 PM, you are showing your ignorance. The first scripture, below, is an Old Testament scripture. The second is a New Testament scripture. The third, is the pièce de résistance. Pay attention.

Exodus 20:12: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

Ephesians 6:2-3: Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

2Tim. 3: 16-17 [16] All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: [17] That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

That third verse says all scripture, all.

A correct understanding brings harmony to the scriptures, and it's possible you may be numbered among the hypocrites.

Anonymous said...

Is this what weak parents want?

Anonymous said...

" someone who had strict parents... don't act surprised when they move states away and go low contact".

That's exactly what they're supposed to do Einstein.

Your neediness to "have a relationship with your adult children" is sad...just like this former bimbo now "mom" lives through her children and why the world is upside down today.

Anonymous said...

Any one who thinks this Mom is too strict, is just dumb as a damn brick. Why in the hell do you think folks/kids are running around shooting other kids/people? As parents, quit trying to be your kids "friend". Be their parent, you are responsible for them. Tell them how the "cow ate the cabbage".
My parents were what would be considered strict by today's standards. And low and behold, I grew up just fine. I don't hate my parents, conversley, I have an overpowering admiration for them.
Again, if you think "strict" is the wrong way to raise a kid, "my Mama all ways said, you just can't fix stupid".

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