Thursday, September 19, 2024

Feds Go After Rankin County

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

The Justice Department announced today that it has opened a civil pattern or practice investigation into Rankin County, Mississippi, and the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department (RCSD). Rankin is the state’s fourth most populous county, with a population of approximately 160,000. It is located about 30 minutes east of the state capital, Jackson, Mississippi. 

The investigation will seek to determine whether RCSD engages in patterns or practices that violate the Constitution and federal law. The investigation will evaluate all types of force used by RCSD officers, including deadly force. It will also assess whether RCSD engages in unlawful stops, searches, and arrests in violation of the Fourth Amendment and whether RCSD conducts discriminatory policing in violation of the 14th Amendment, Title VI, and Safe Streets Act.

“The public is now well aware of the heinous attack inflicted on two Black men by Rankin County deputies who called themselves the ‘Goon Squad,’” said Attorney General Merrick B. Garland.  “Those officers have since been convicted and sentenced, but we are launching this civil pattern or practice investigation to examine serious allegations that the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department systematically violates people’s constitutional rights through excessive use of force; unlawful stops, searches, and arrests; and discriminatory policing. These include allegations that Rankin County deputies have overused tasers, entered homes unlawfully, used racial slurs, and deployed dangerous, cruel tactics to assault people in their custody.  We are committed to working with local officials, deputies, and the community to conduct a comprehensive investigation.”

“The violent, unlawful and racially charged actions of the so-called Goon Squad left lasting and damaging effects on the community,” said Assistant Attorney General Kristen Clarke of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division. “Since the Goon Squad’s sickening acts came to light, we have received reports of other instances where Rankin deputies overused tasers, entered homes unlawfully, bandied about shocking racial slurs, and deployed dangerous, cruel tactics to assault people in their custody. Based on an extensive review of publicly available information as well as complaints provided to us, we have grounds to open a pattern or practice investigation into the Rankin County Sheriff’s Department now. The Justice Department will conduct a comprehensive and fair investigation into allegations of racially discriminatory policing of Black communities, the use of excessive force, and violations of the Fourth Amendment.”


“The information we have learned to date about the conduct of some members of the Rankin County Sheriff’s office calls back to some of the worst periods of Mississippi’s history,” said U.S. Attorney Todd W. Gee for the Southern District of Mississippi. “We do not have to accept the old hatreds and abuse of the past.  And we do not have to accept the false claim that safety comes at the price of illegal force and abuse of power. We will conduct an impartial and thorough review of the Rankin County Sheriff’s Office, and if we find violations, we will take necessary action to address them.”

This civil investigation is separate and independent from the federal criminal civil rights prosecutions of RCSD deputies related to the violent assaults of two Black men, Michael Jenkins and Eddie Parker, at the hands of five white deputies.

The investigation will include a comprehensive review of RCSD policies, training, and supervision. The investigation will also examine RCSD’s systems of accountability. The Justice Department will reach out to community groups and members of the public to learn about their experiences with RCSD. The Justice Department will also speak with RCSD deputies and leadership to hear their perspectives.

Before this announcement, the Justice Department notified Rankin County officials, who have pledged to cooperate with the investigation.

The investigation is being conducted pursuant to the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994, which prohibits state and local governments from engaging in a pattern or practice of conduct by law enforcement officers that deprives individuals of rights protected by the Constitution or federal law. The Act allows the Justice Department to remedy such misconduct through civil litigation.

The Civil Rights Division’s Special Litigation Section and U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of Mississippi will jointly conduct this investigation. 

Individuals with relevant information are encouraged to contact the Justice Department via email atcommunity.rankin@usdoj.gov or by toll free phone at (888) 392-8557. Individuals can also report civil rights violations regarding this or other matters using the Civil Rights Division’s new reporting portal, available at civilrights.justice.gov/. Individuals can also report civil rights violations to the U.S. Attorney’s Office at USAMSS.civilrights@usdoj.gov or (601) 973-2825.

Today’s announcement marks the 12th pattern or practice investigation into law enforcement misconduct opened by the Justice Department during this administration. The Justice Department recently completed an investigation of the Phoenix Police Department.

Information specific to the Civil Rights Division’s police reform work can be found here.


70 comments:

Anonymous said...

The goon squad targeted whites at least as much as blacks. But it always has to be about race these days, and by "it" I mean everything.

Anonymous said...

This is good news! Terrible patterns have been there for too many years.

Anonymous said...

Sheriff Bryan Bailey is now Ben Dover Bailey.

Anonymous said...

It’s just astonishing to me that this only became a big deal once they harmed black people. No one cared when the victims were trailer park meth head whites.

Anonymous said...

The beginning of the end. $$$$$$$$.

Anonymous said...

There is one particular person at RCSO that i have been waiting to get Karma handed to them. waiting ONE year. Guess I'll be talking soon enough.....

Anonymous said...

@3:47 pm, a civil rights investigation can include potential violations of the civil rights of both blacks and whites.

Anonymous said...

It has nothing to do with blacks or whites. They are going after them for violating people's constitutional rights whether they be black or white. White people can have their rights violated also. If you read the article they will be going after unlawful searches and traffic stops. Those affect both races.

Anonymous said...

It’s past time for this. It is documented that people have reported abuse by Rankin County Deputies to Sheriff Bryan Bailey many times. Bryan Bailey chose to ignore these reports.The truth will come out, and Sheriff Bailey should be held accountable for his actions.

Anonymous said...

Bryan Bailey and his racist officers are officially on notice. Rankin County voters may approve of your lawlessness, but the rest of America is fed up with your BS. Clock is ticking Bryan, better not forget to delete any evidence before the real law comes to town.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who doesn’t believe there is racism at play is beyond help. Hopefully, they are mostly frail seniors who will die off in the next few years.

Anonymous said...

So are the prior comments suggesting the feds shouldn’t go after RCSD since it didn’t discriminate in its unlawfulness? It’s ok if you abuse all races? I’m not following the logic. Let’s just hope it’s different feds than the boobs who ran the sting on the Jackson City Council members.

Anonymous said...

@4:16 - oh it has something to do with race. When Bryan Bailey and his men got caught terrorizing blacks and calling them every racial slur in the book while lying on their official records, there’s simply no way to pretend his office isn’t 1950’s Mississippi racist. These guys are throwbacks to some of the worst people ever to set foot in our state. Hell, the goon squad is named after Bryan Bailey’s mentor, an infamous racist and terrorizer of the black community. There is no hell got enough for Bryan Bailey and his squad of goons.

Anonymous said...

Welp they gave him a chance to step down and save face.

Anonymous said...

Sheriff Bryan Bailey is a disgrace. His officers are a disgrace. Rankin County is a disgrace.

His judgement cometh and that right soon.

Anonymous said...

They have them dead to rights with 2 out of the 3 things they are looking into! Possibly all 3, assuming the feds already have all they want or they wouldn’t be coming down South! Bad bad

Anonymous said...

"It’s just astonishing to me that this only became a big deal once they harmed black people. No one cared when the victims were trailer park meth head whites."

Well, not exactly. The feds didn't get involved when it was relatively minor violations of civil rights, regardless of the race of anyone - officers or suspects - involved. No, I'm not saying minor violations are or should be OK, but the reality is that the feds aren't going (and don't have the staff) to get involved in every minor violation across the US. But when that gun went off in that guy's mouth and dildos were involved, the shit hit the fan. Did the skin color of ALL involved in that catalyst event come into play at all? Of course it did. We can never know what might have happened if it had been different skin colors involved in that particular incident and rank speculation is just that. But at this point, everything will come into play. I'm not giving advice to anyone but if I were it would be that the best deals are the first deals, deals are first come, first served, and quantities are very limited, no rainchecks.

Anonymous said...

Stankin Rankin is doomed.

Anonymous said...

That giant sucking sound? That’s every iPhone and iPad deleting every text and email ever sent by anyone who ever worked near rankin county SO.

JimAtTheRez said...

We knew this was coming and it is about to hit the fan. Many, many of us in Rankin County wanted to vote for someone else in the election for Sheriff of Rankin County. There were no other candidates. I think I read that Bailey was the most undervoted office in Rankin County in the most recent election. But, in my opinion, he should have dropped out or at least resigned when elected.

Anonymous said...

4:16: Tell that to Kirsten Clarke.

Anonymous said...

Did I see Bailey purchasing BleachBit software at Best Buy?

Anonymous said...

That paper shredder in the RCSO is working overtime.

Anonymous said...

They need to stop sitting on i20 in Pearl pulling over out of state licensed drivers for an ounce of weed and go after real criminals

Anonymous said...

No doubt they were overly zealous in their policing. However, as a reaction to all of the findings and scrutiny, a new soft on crime approach will not be good for Rankin County either.

Anonymous said...

The reason there was not another candidate to vote for was the Sheriff hid the information about the goon squad until after the qualifying deadline, it was deliberate. Notice how the BOS appointed him the head of the emergency shelter in order to give him a big raise in order to pad his high four years with PERS. Rankin County is one of the most corrupt counties in the state and the citizens are turning a blind eye to it. The elected officials who are promulgating this and benefiting from it could care less about the people, but we continue to elect the same people over. We have only ourselves to blame.

Anonymous said...

F Sheriff Bryan Bailey. That dumb MF is going to bankrupt Rankin County for generations. RCSO has harassed both blacks and whites forever. But Bailey is just the scumbag that will finally wreck this decent place to live.

Anonymous said...

@3:58p Your thinking style is exactly why I don’t want to make America great again. You want to go back to when you were in control, that wasn’t great for anybody. i’d just like to get better every day, and look consistently at the future and the the solving of our problems, not pining for the old Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

I hope this experience has changed the department. Rankin County has good people. Bailey needs to retire permanently. Don’t overthink the race thing; this guy is an equal opportunity POS. For the rest of the Billy badass LEOs, including PRV and MHP, time to shape up, serve the public honorably and halt all violations of the US constitution. The days of riding around trying to score dope and money under the color of law are over. No more steroids, no more warrantless searches, no more sexual predation of young people.

Anonymous said...

You are entitled to your opinion but let me respond by saying I hope those individuals that live in trailer parks needs and issues are addressed as well as those people of color that live in a brick homes. No matter where they live all parties deserve to be treated with dignity and respect especially when they are paying taxes and expect protection not abuse from law enforcement.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, a spiral continues. When an organization falls away from just and weight measures; the doors of scrutiny are wide open. This very review will bring about both necessary change and political/governmental tightening. Citizens and government alike should pause and know, most of the bad apples have been removed, does not reflect that Rankin County lacks good people and direction. DOJ is a tough weight; BB and deputies knew better.....

Anonymous said...

Give a high school grad at badge and uniform and let them take test, xanax, and adderall and you have a squad of Todd Mardis wannabes

Anonymous said...

The sheriff is not the problem. The sheriff is a symptom of the community. He’s elected by his friends and neighbors. The sheriff does what his neighbors talk about in their backyards. The sheriff knows what his men are doing. The community knows what these guys did and continue to do. It’s the unspoken word. The feds came in after the murders in Philadelphia and we are better to some degree for sure but these days it’s not nearly as brazen. But do not ever forget the sentiment is there. The only thing worse than being a broke man living in a trailer park with an ex wife and a broken down pick up truck? Being a black man. Wonder why this place gets smaller l?

Anonymous said...

The Democratic Federal govt. has already found them guilty. They are just going thru the motions. I've been living in Rankin County for 30 years & the crime rate is low & killings are very rare. I'll take that any day of the week when compared to Jackson. So, my question is why the Feds are not looking to lower the killings in Jackson instead. If blacks really cared about blacks, they would be pointing fingers at the black leadership in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

9:27 you can kiss my ass on that statement! I am a white guy from Rankin and me and my fellow white people want the Sheriff gone worse than anyone and understand full well that he allowed this and knew better !

Anonymous said...

" It (Rankin County) is located about 30 minutes east of the state capital, Jackson, Mississippi."

Actually, Rankin County is located about thirty SECONDS east of Jackson, Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely “ Remember, Bailey broke the law by lying to the Grand Jury, and then DA Michael Guest refused to indict him, “because they were friends.” Now congressman Guest sits on an ethics committee!!! We deserve better than this.

Anonymous said...

Bailey should have resigned. Rankin county has an image problem now. Big business doesn’t like to move into areas with these problems.

Anonymous said...

This country is a mess. Seems the vast majority are too dumb or indoctrinated to understand the extreme importance of civil liberties, something we ALL should agree on. Almost everybody and every group is partisan. The ACLU has become a pathetic joke, the Anti-Civil Liberties Union and an arm of their favorite political party. Big biased media, especially the Jeff Bezos Times, an absolute disgrace and stain on America’s history.

People, many fed up and sick and tired of thugs and crime, justify police men and women also becoming the prosecutor, jury and judge, as in the case of these low IQ goons. Fools, too ignorant to understand the incredible dangers that come with police people having too much power.

The Feds, some making big salaries with retirements waiting on them in their 50’s that most can only dream of, are weaponized against those they disagree with, knocking on the doors of Facebook’ers expressing opinions they don’t like, but break no laws.

And while the Feds are wasting time engaged in harassment, they’ve recently allowed a school shooter to slip through their cracks then go on to kill two teachers and two student children. And they’ve allowed not one, but two would be assassins to come extremely close to killing a former President of the United States.

Anonymous said...

Sad they turn this into a black white thing. Straight out of Washington, perpetuating the 1970s stereotype. Plenty of whites were victims of these thugs also. The fact that they said Rankin is 30 minutes from Jackson tells me they have never been here. Some 22 year old boob they hired to write press releases.

Anonymous said...

I still can’t believe the board of supervisors gave this dumb SOB a raise after the Braxton shooting!!! Maybe when the Feds takeover and fine us millions of dollars and our property tax goes through the roof we can get rid of them too.

Kingfish said...

Actually, Guest did the right thing. Bailey was a friend. He realized he had a conflict of interest so he referred it to Jim Hood. Completely ethical action. Blame Jim Hood if you want to blame someone. If Guest was going to help Bailey, he would've kept the case and buried it.

Anonymous said...

"The Democratic Federal govt. has already found them guilty. They are just going thru the motions. I've been living in Rankin County for 30 years & the crime rate is low & killings are very rare. I'll take that any day of the week when compared to Jackson. So, my question is why the Feds are not looking to lower the killings in Jackson instead. If blacks really cared about blacks, they would be pointing fingers at the black leadership in Jackson."

Now, see, THIS is the type of thing Rankin County truly needs! Y'all who done gots y'alls GED in civics from the RCSD Learning Center, it shore is y'alls time to shine! Ask not who your Sheriff can assault for you, ask who you can assault for your Sheriff! This here gubmint bullsheit is the kinda thing up with which you should not put.

And you're in good company! I'm sure all of you students of civics are familiar with the following but for those less-learned, here's something from Mississippi's governor as one example of the many times our elected officials have been wrong side of, well, just about every topic involved (no, it wasn't Tater at NCF, it was Bilbo in 1938): "It is the height of folly to assume that environment, discipline, education, and all other external devices can affect the blood, smooth down inequalities between individuals of the same breed, much less between different breeds, or transmute racial qualities. The Germans appreciate the importance of race values. They understand that racial improvement is the greatest asset that any country can have.They know, as few other nations have realized, that the impoverishment of race values contributes more to the impairment and destruction of a civilization than any other agency."

"Actually, Rankin County is located about thirty SECONDS east of Jackson, Mississippi."

And only 165 YEARS south of the Constitution.

Anonymous said...

Whatever. But it is indisputably true and correct that the federal government prosecutors and investigators couldn't be bothered with Rankin County till some blacks were egregiously abused. That's just the fact, plain and simple. Thet don't need to know what happened, then; they only need to know the color of the people it happened to.

Anonymous said...

Thinking that pimps, dope dealers, and dope fiends, have equal rights to law abiding citizens is how end up in the sorry state that Jackson is currently in. I fully agree with not treating the dregs as human. They are trash and desrve to be disposed of.

Anonymous said...

I live in Jackson. I have to look out for Thugs. I’ve never had an incident. When I travel to Rankin County I have to look out for the municipal employees…

Anonymous said...

"The Justice Department announced today that it has opened a civil pattern or practice investigation..."

Translation: The Feds have been collecting evidence for at least a year. Now they are fixing to start hauling some folks in for "questioning" (a.k.a. giving perps a chance to plead, flip, or also be charged with lying/obstruction). Watch for the indictments to start Q1 2025.

Anonymous said...

The DOJ will be set up in Rankin County for years--

Anonymous said...

8:02
KF your statement may be partially true but i have my own opinion. If a Sheriff or any elected official illegally used the grand jury in my DA office we would have had a real problem! Also we don’t know what Guest told Hood , shelf it ??

Anonymous said...

Honestly, it sounds to me like the feds are about to clean house in Ranking and Hinds County. My gut tells me that there's a wave of change coming and I am most receptive.

Anonymous said...

They better interview all those jailers also that beat inmates. videos that BB was seen deleting

Anonymous said...

This whole thing is infuriating. These monsters terrorized and damn near murdered people.
And as one mentioned, in a society that demands polar opposites for any correction....I fear Rankin LEO will knee-jerk the other way and become somewhat lawless or comprised of useless DEI hires.
So I hope these revolting 'effers rot in prison and live in hell there everyday.
Bailey and his Goons not only ruined the past but will ruin the future of Rankin County as well.

Anonymous said...

What is announced in the release above relates to the civil (system) aspect of the "policies and practices" of law enforcement in Rankin County. There had to be some (admissible) evidence of "patterns and practices" for these folks to get involved. The Goon Squad's bullshit with the gun in the mouth, the dildos, the cover-up, etc., and then the subsequent investigations by all sorts of folks, governmental and non-governmental, produced more than enough. An occasional extrajudicial street court wasn't going to get these folks or any other feds involved regardless of anyone's skin color.

Read the release for more details, but this aspect of it is not criminal - that's another sword dangling over many heads. That said, anyone who thinks this can't lead to folks being charged criminally is deluding themselves. Don't be surprised when you hear about the 5th brought up in some, er, unexpected contexts and by some unexpected folks. Get yer Jiffy Pop handy.

Anonymous said...

9:27 has a point.
But I would wager that Lamumba would be re-elected today if he ran against other more qualified options. Bailey would not.

Regardless, both counties deserve what they tolerate. It seems Jackson is pro-crime and racist against white people and Rankin is pro-violence from LEO and racist against black people.

Anonymous said...

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is that good men do nothing.” Enough said

Anonymous said...

September 19, 2024 at 3:47 PM

"The goon squad targeted whites at least as much as blacks."

And therein lies the problem. Did they protest or go to networks to demand justice?

Anonymous said...

This is a very slick move by the Feds and Justice Department. They are starting it off " Civilly, " because during a Civil Deposition, certain questions can be asked to an individual, and must be answered, that otherwise if it were a Criminal Deposition, the individual ( or their attorney ) could plead the 5th, or refuse to answer those same questions that were required to be answered in the Civil Deposition.
However, this is the kicker. The Feds and Justice Department can then take any information that they learned Civilly, and use it against the person to go after them Criminally. It is like a " kick in the crotch " situation for the person that they are going after. The only thing that I can advise for anyone who is in this situation, is to get a DAMN GOOD attorney who knows what they are doing.

Anonymous said...

I don’t have faith in the Feds either after Jackson water issues & Safe Streets where a Federal FBI guy came in to clean up and little to no results IMO! Crime was still up when he left! I don’t agree with the Federal government having our best interest ! Just look at the Border mess.

Anonymous said...

F--k the DOJ. They don't do shit unless it's for the liberal cause. This is all about politics. And for the record, we're not turning this county over to the Feds.

Anonymous said...

"This is a very slick move by the Feds and Justice Department. They are starting it off ' Civilly, ' because during a Civil Deposition, certain questions can be asked to an individual, and must be answered, that otherwise if it were a Criminal Deposition, the individual ( or their attorney ) could plead the 5th, or refuse to answer those same questions that were required to be answered in the Civil Deposition.
However, this is the kicker. The Feds and Justice Department can then take any information that they learned Civilly, and use it against the person to go after them Criminally. It is like a ' kick in the crotch ' situation for the person that they are going after. The only thing that I can advise for anyone who is in this situation, is to get a DAMN GOOD attorney who knows what they are doing."

Didn't you two embarrass yourselves enough with your Gregg defense? Chumming for clients on JJ ain't gonna turn things around, career-wise.

Here's a random thought - if the state grants immunity upon testimony, the 5th thing ain't as big a thing. This here rodeo is beginning to look like the NFR with some surprise livestock being trailered in by some surprise contractors. As always, readers gotta read for themselves. Between the lines or otherwise.

Anonymous said...

9:31
Even with an attorney present they would still have to answer the questions correct?

Anonymous said...

"Even with an attorney present they would still have to answer the questions correct?"

Here's a place to start: Hoffman v. United States, 341 U.S. 479 (1951). It may not be where you wish to stop.

Anonymous said...

amen. BOS needs to give an account.

Anonymous said...

if by liberal cause you mean citizens not living in fear of abusive police and complicit judges, then yes

Anonymous said...

Hey 9:31, this is 5:58. I'm not an Attorney, ( so I'm not trolling J.J. for clients ), and I'm not really educated, but I am an old retired cop who has participated in many trials and I know how to read and interpret Federal and State Statutes and Laws. And if the State grants immunity to someone upon testimony, the Feds could care less as long as it does not interfere with what Federal Charges they are planning on Prosecuting the individual ( or individuals ) for.
The only reason that I mentioned why the Feds were going '' Civil " before Criminal, is because I have seen them do this before, and it is a very effective way to collect evidence and statements, without having to worry about following Criminal Procedures and Criminal Laws, until the case actually turns into a Criminal Case.
It's just a sneaky ( but effective ) way to get information that they need to prepare for a Criminal Case.
I'm very surprised that a " High Profile " Attorney has never gone before the Supreme Court to challenge this procedure, because it is very obveious that the Feds are using the Civil Court System to get access to information that they would not be entitled to in a Criminal Court Procedure. In my opinion, ( which amounts to nothing, because I know if you asked 10 different Lawyers the same Law question, you will get 10 different answers ), the information that the Feds obtained Civilly, for the specific purpose of going after someone Criminally, should be subject to the same Rights and Laws that someone would be entitled to under Criminal Law. I am not pro-criminal, at all, but I do believe in our constitution and the protections that it is supposed to provide to all of our Citizens, even corrupt cops.
It is kinda like what the Feds do to be able to question someone without reading them their rights ( and a lot of police departments have followed suit ). The Law requires Law Enforcement Officers to read someone their rights once sufficient evidence has beed obtained, or once someone is suspected of committing a crime. So what do the Feds do ? Instead of calling someone a suspect, they call them, " a person of interest ". This way, the Feds can continue to question the person without having to give them their Miranda Warnings or any other rights that they would be entitled to.
This technique, in my opinion, should also be challenged in Federal court, because the only reason that it is used, is to deny someone their rights, that all Citizens of this Country are entitled to.

Anonymous said...

as a rankin county resident i surely do not approve of racism or what Bailey has done.

Anonymous said...

Rankin County resident here, do not support the constitutional abuse of the sheriff's office.

Anonymous said...

Of or By ?

Anonymous said...

The 4th amendment matters. Everyone turns a blind eye when Bailey cops pull you over in their bogus road blocks because you think it doesn’t matter and “they are just doing their job”. That’s until your teenager goes through one alone and gets asked to pullover to the side. It starts as a request to search the vehicle because of an “odor”, then they say they “found a seed”, next “turn around and drop your pants”. The chickens are coming home to roost. If you were pressured by Bailey or one of his helpers to violate young men during bogus police encounters, now is your time to come clean. The day he resigns, will be the day Rankin county can begin rebuilding.

Anonymous said...

If law enforcement had to pay for the lawsuits instead of tax payers this civil rights abuses wouldn’t happen.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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