Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Robert St. John: Wake-Up Call at A Gift Shop

It is book season. For many people that’s the time of year when summer paperbacks are released, or the holiday cookbooks hit bookstore shelves. For me it’s the time of year when I take to the road on an always interesting, sometimes grueling, book-signing schedule. 



The coffee table art book— and companion guide to the documentary Anthony Thaxton and I produced— “Walter Anderson: The Extraordinary Life and Art of the Islander,” hit the bookshelves of independent locally owned bookstores and gift shops across the state last week.

This is my 12th book, therefore my twelfth book-signing tour. Some of my books have been collaborations, others have been solo. Some have been cookbooks others have been non-fiction collections of columns and autobiographical musings. In the early days I released six books in a six-year period. Watercolor artist, Wyatt Waters, and I collaborated on four coffee table cookbooks, and he and I have another almost-finished book waiting in the wings for future release.

I love book signings. They truly mean something to me, at a gut-feeling level. The idea that someone would take a few minutes out of their day to drive to a bookstore or gift shop so I could put my signature on the front pages of a book, moves me. For 20 years I’ve been able to meet people who have purchased my books and have read this column. People remember stories about me, and my family, that I wrote in the late 1990s and early 2000s that I have long forgotten. I love that and am deeply grateful for their faithfulness.

Though I didn’t always have a great attitude about book signings. During the promotional tour of my fourth book, I received a Scrooge/Dickensian-level wake-up call that changed my attitude on book signings forever.

It was about a week before Christmas and I was at a gift shop in McComb, Mississippi for the final book-signing of the season. It had been a particularly grueling promotional tour as the marketing director of my New York publisher scheduled six weeks’ worth of signings from Orlando to Dallas in a short period of time. McComb was going to be the last stop before I could finally head home to work the holiday rush in the restaurants.

The McComb book signing started with a line out the door, but within 30 minutes I had signed every book anyone in McComb wanted, at least from me. But I was scheduled until 6:00 p.m. so I browsed the gift shop, purchased a few last-minute gifts for my wife, visited with the staff, and sat at the book signing table alone watching the clock. As soon as the little hand struck six, I was ready to bolt out the door, hop in my truck, and call an end to another book tour.

There is something uniquely woeful about an author sitting alone at a book signing table waiting for someone to purchase a book. If I ever see that in a bookstore I purchase the book, no matter the subject or price. Though I don’t mind being that guy, necessarily, as it goes with the territory. Luckily, I have been blessed to stay busy and occupied at most of my signings through the years.

The phone rang in the gift shop, and I could tell from the one side of the conversation I could hear that there was a person who needed to get to the store to get a book signed but was running late. They would be driving down from Brookhaven and probably wouldn't get there until 6:15. The owner of the bookstore muted the phone against her chest and asked, “Is there any way you could stay till 6:15? This person has a book that they've already purchased but would love for you to sign.” My first thought was I'm ready to go home. My second thought was I'm going to be hanging out in this gift shop to sign a book that's not even being purchased in this gift shop. My third thought was this person is driving 30 to 40 minutes so I can sign a book I wrote. I need to stay. I stayed.

The person finally got there at 6:20. I wasn't happy, but I didn't show it. Inside I was frustrated tired, and ready to go home. The person walked in frazzled and frantic and apologized for being late. There was a certain sadness in her eyes. The book she held wasn’t even the new book. It was a previous book of my former columns and stories. She said, “I have a story to tell you.” I thought to myself again this is going to take a long time. This lady is about to tell me a story about something that happened to her kids that is similar to something I've written about that happened to my kids. I’ve heard it before. I'm ready to go home. Though I smiled and said, “I would love to hear your story.”

It turns out that a very close friend of hers died of cancer. The man was close to my age and had experienced a similar childhood to mine. At the end of his life, and as the cancer ravaged his body, he really had no friends except this lady who would sit at his bed side, and in his final days, would read stories to him from my book. The book she held in her hand. The book that, moments earlier, had me feeling so crass. With tears in her eyes, she relayed how my stories used to brighten his mood when she read them to him.

How could I have been so selfish and impatient? I felt like the biggest jerk ever.

I sat and visited with her about her life and her late friend for another 30 minutes. I asked her about their childhood experiences. There were a lot of similarities there and— it was in that moment— I gained a new appreciation for book signings. From that moment forward I have always been grateful to anyone who would take time out of their day, whether it's driving frantically from two towns away at the last minute, or someone who lives down the street.

The new book, “Walter Anderson: The Extraordinary Life and Art of the Islander” will only be released in independent, locally owned bookstores and gift shops. Those are the type places that will take a phone call and ask an author to stay late. Big box retailers don’t care.

The pandemic has hit all locally owned businesses hard. But from my vantage point, the big box retailers, national chains, and online retailers have thrived. The pandemic has put locally owned retailers at a crucial tipping point and the need to shop locally is at a critical crossroads. The decision was easy. There was no way I was going to aid in the downfall of local businesses by selling this book through big box retailers and online retail giants.

I write this column at 5:45 a.m. as I am about to hit the road to sign books at two independent bookstores in two separate towns in the Mississippi Delta. Tomorrow I will sign at two separate events in another town. In all there will be 15 book signings in 13 days. There was probably a time in my past I would look at that schedule and scoff. But that would have been a time before I met a lady from Brookhaven and learned all about her childhood friend.

Onward.


Chicken and Corn Chowder

1 /4 lb              Bacon

1 /2 lb              Onions, small dice

1 Tbl               Black pepper

3 tsp                Poultry seasoning

1 1 /2 cups       Chicken breast, raw, chopped

1 /4 cup           Flour

1 quart             Chicken stock or broth

2 cups              Creamed Corn

2 cups              Red new potatoes, skin on, quartered, cooked and drained

2 cups              Heavy whipping cream, hot

1 /2 cup           Half and Half, hot

2 Tbl               Hot sauce

Chop bacon, render and drain fat into stockpot. Add onions and sauté until tender (do not brown). Season chicken with poultry seasoning, add to pot and cook through. Add flour, mixing well. Cook without browning for approximately five minutes. Add chicken stock slowly, stirring until smooth. Add corn. Add drained potatoes. Add hot cream, milk and hot sauce. 

Yield: one gallon

 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Know who has this for sale around Jackson?

Don't leave a ring said...

I think coffee table books should have either a built in table coaster or one stuck on the face of the book, like the attorneys that have a refrigerator magnet gooey glued to the new phone books.

Stuff About ZeroBear PolyBear said...

Great book Robert. Have been friends with Wyatt for years and Years. His Mom is a special lady.

Looking forward to the opening of your Fondren Strip. It will be great, especially the Capri and the memories of that movie house.

Chowder? Love it!

My soup offering (actually 2 soup offerings) follows. Wish we could post photos:

Bacon Cheeseburger soup

1 pound ground beef, browned
4 slices bacon, fried crisp
1 can beef broth
1/2 pound Velveeta Cheese, cubed
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup chopped celery
1 Green Bell pepper, seeded and chopped
3 cups Condensed Milk, Half and Half or Heavy cream, or milk
3 tablespoons all purpose flour
Salt, pepper, garlic powder

Directions:

Fry the bacon in a medium sized pot until it is crispy. Remove the bacon, crumble and set aside, keep about 2 tablespoons of the bacon fat in the pot and discard the rest. Sauté the chopped onion, celery and green pepper until the vegetables are tender. Add the ground beef to the pot, increase the heat and brown the beef. Season the meat with salt, pepper and garlic powder, crumbling the ground beef as it cooks.

Mix four into beef broth and then add this to the meat and vegetables. Turn down the heat and slowly pour in the milk while stirring the soup. Bring to a low simmer, then reduce heat to low setting and add the Velveeta cheese. Stir until the Velveeta has melted.

Serve hot, topped with a dollop of sour cream and a generous sprinkle of the crumbled cooked bacon. A side salad and crusty bread would be nice with this soup.

Chicken, Mushroom and Spinach Soup

Need:

6-8 chicken tenders, thawed and cubed into 1 inch pieces
1/2 medium onion (1/2 cup), chopped
2 cups fresh mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
4 cups fresh baby spinach, Whole leaves or chopped as you like
3 cups condensed or whole milk
1/2 cup good white wine
2 Tablespoons all purpose flour
2 Tablespoons butter
Salt, pepper, garlic powder

Directions:

In a sauté pan, cook chicken tender pieces until tender and firm. Season with salt and pepper. Add butter and sauté chopped onions and sliced mushrooms until they are tender. Add flour and cook for three or four minutes, adding more butter if needed when cooking flour. Deglaze pan with wine. Add spinach and milk and cook (at a low simmer) until the spinach is wilted.

Serve with crusty bread.






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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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