Saturday, August 9, 2014

Dear Unclaimed Freight: Come claim your trash.

A nice shout-out goes to Unclaimed Freight in Pearl.  We've all seen the going out of business, buy & sell gold, pizza special and other signs that populate the right of ways.  Well, Unclaimed Freight decided to really trash Lakeland Drive this morning.  They stuck around 50 signs from St. Dominics to the Pearl River.  Many were only a few feet apart from each other.  McDonald's, Cups, Penns, none were spared. Nothing like driving down Lakeland and seeing a bunch of bright yellow trashy signs.  There was something that was really funny:

When you crossed the Pearl River, the signage ceased.  Yup.  Apparently the Pearl business wants to trash Jackson but won't even think of trashing Flowood.  Nice. I'm tempted to go rip them out of the ground myself and go dump them in their parking lot so I don't get accused of destruction of property.  See for youself.  Of course, someone driving through Jackson will say "look how trashy Jackson is" when it was a Rankin County business that was trashing Lakeland Drive.  Don't worry, a complaint was made to the city. 


Anonymous said...

The music was a great touch.

Anonymous said...

Yep, I cannot stand any of these signs. They have the phone number on them and could be called and fined, I would think. Craigs List is free. Facebook is free. Hope we can stop unpaid signs from appearing.

Anonymous said...

Then would you also ban the handwritten "Congrats Grads" signs tacked to utility poles in Jackson by The Stokes Twins? In fairness, she said they were biodegradable.

Anonymous said...

Were you filming that while DRIVING?

Anonymous said...

Nothing beats hand-painted STOKES signs on trees, though.

Anonymous said...

In reference to a Stokes sign being biodegradable, I'm pretty sure they have the half life of plutonium.

Anonymous said...

at least the stokes signs are 'urban art'--these are just trashy

Shop Local said...

I like the "Wide Load" sign. Was that Larita's?

Anonymous said...

Has anyone ever actually made a purchase inspired by one of these dumb signs? It's a waste of money and almost as annoying as the fliers under your wiper.

Anonymous said...

That's why I don't drink and drive anymore since I can't drive, and try to hold my camera phone steady without spilling some beer every time.

Anonymous said...

looks like they think placement on Old Canton near Highland Village will attract some high end shoppers.

No Credit Check said...

"High End" shoppers don't typically buy their dining room furniture at Unclaimed Freight. Reckon?

Anonymous said...

When do the mcDaniel n retire Thad signs come down I was under the impression after the "run off" they would be removed Is there an ordinance covering this ?

Sign Man said...

Thad signs still litter the roads to my place. Do us all a favor: Quit running your yap on here and go collect some signs for both candidates.

Anonymous said...

These disgusting sign were all down Old Canton Road . These people should be heavily fined!!

Anonymous said...

I live in rankin county and think that was a tacky move my the business, no matter the locale. At any rate, don't think Jackson is immune, cue the Mackdaddy, pimp daddy, baby daddy, Sherriff Tyrone Lewis' happy valentines day billboard.

10 Dollah Dinette said...

Bring your coat. There's no heat!

But, really! At what location was this freight ever unclaimed?

Anonymous said...

According to the last report
THAD is running in November, however at last report McDaniel is not. So 5:14 you go pick up your McDaniel signs

john hancock said...

Why is everyone so upset by these signs? They get dropped for basically a day and a half. Then are picked up... sounds like some of you just don't have anything top do with your time other than complain.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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