Sunday, August 3, 2014

Checkmate Chuck Johnson is coming to town.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend, Chuck Johnson himself, is coming to town.  Meet him yourself. 




JJ is contracting with the local Nation of Islam chapter to provide personal protection for Mr. Johnson.  The biggest danger to his safety will come from infiltrators.  NE Jackson preppies who will try to pass themselves off as Tea Party or Chris McDaniel supporters in an effort to do harm to the popular blogger.  They will wear the plaid and little stickers that say "Stop Obamacare".  They may even wave birth certificates while screaming "where is it".  However, there is one test to ferret them out but it is time-consuming: parade a fat lobbying contract in front of the suspects and see who gets an erection.  That is your non-eunuch, oops, I meant infiltrator.  However, a simpler way is to get a Nation of Islam entourage for Mr. Johnson.  He will thus be protected from honkies who might try to do him harm.  Stay tuned. 

17 comments:

Zorek Richards said...

Can't wait for the Return of Chucky Tour where he will come back to Mississippi to get revenge on everyone who pissed him off during the first tour. And then followed by the Bride of Chucky Tour where he and his bride will come back and get revenge on everyone who pissed him off at his Return of Chucky tour. Not to forget his soon to be released books "Why Chuck C Johnson Mattered to Calvin Coolidge" and the follow up "Why Calvin Coolidge Hearts Chucky and Knows Sam R Hall and Jim Hood are Actually Communists." --Signed, Breathlessly Awaiting

Anonymous said...

I guess the convention center was fully booked.

What's It All About, Alphie? said...

Without looking, who the hell are Chuck Jackson and Zorek Richards?

Anonymous said...

The things that are " interesting" but I'd rather forget. This social agitation of a political " movement" which is basically a platform to rail against the government and citizens is starting to be really strange and concerning at the same time.

" not conservative enough" is a strange new normal to paraphrase a certain tea party favorite that's recently been thrown under the bus. I'm starting to equate the word conservative with two other words of description. Mean and crazy. " you aren't mean and crazy enough up there in Washington!."

This is what happens when you look at politics as a spectator sport that equates democrats and republicans as a football teams and the referee ( the tea party) has gone off the handle and the " game" never ends and no one ever really " wins".





Anonymous said...

Maybe Chris will give him the key to Ellisville or the MS Tea Party will give him the key to the courthouse. I'm sure it will be utter rapture for the tens of people who attend.

Anonymous said...

WHO????

Anonymous said...

This is the most poorly written piece of race bating I have seen in years. Duces to this blog cause this "honkey" is out. If you're supporting the nation of Islam, you're either completely ignorant of their history and their plans to create a nation of African Americans in the south where other races are not welcomed, our you're as anti-American as they are for supporting a group who's entire political platform centers on treason.

Anonymous said...

Funny how Chuckles the Clown doesn't even mention this on his own twitter. At least not as far back as about 3 days ago, which is about all I could stomach slogging through.

Anonymous said...

12:59:
Could you please clarify the message of your post? I have no idea what you are saying. Who is supporting the Nation of Islam?

Anonymous said...

@12:59 - This is what is commonly known on this site as JJ jackassery. I found it pretty funny myself.

Anonymous said...

Ditto to 5:01.......love the JJ jackassery.

Anonymous said...

Now, Chuck can ask for "donations" in person.

Anonymous said...

With Confederate flags flying high, local Tea Party members will lay out magnolia branches on the road as Esteemed Journalist Charles C. Johnson rides into Brandon on a donkey.

Anonymous said...

He had better not be using any of that $15k for plane tickets over here. He could put it to much better use by buying more fake stories.

Third National said...

9:25; How uncomfortable is that dunce hat? What's your problem with heritage recalled by displaying various flags of The Confederacy? Are you one of 'those people' who bought the notion that "I'm supposed to be offended 'cause somebody said so"?

Next question: What relationship do you see between the Confederacy and the TEA movement? It's not only Confederates who should feel they've been taxed enough already!

Lastly: You'd look better in a propeller-beanie.

Anonymous said...

It's really too bad that he didn't return for Neshoba. There's no telling what kind of breaking news that he could have discovered - had his head not exploded first.

Anonymous said...

And..... who cares.


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.