Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Nosef to Tyner: Take challenge to court.

JJ obtained a copy of a letter Mississippi Republican Party Chairman Joe Nosef sent to Chris McDaniel campaign attorney Mitch Tyner.  It is posted below.


Anonymous said...

We've been discussing the potential for sanctions throughout this mess. I think the petition for judicial review will be the moment when Tyner and Watson get zinged with a stinging bench-slap.

§ 23-15-927. Petition for judicial review:provides: "The petition for a judicial review shall not be filed unless it bears the certificate of two (2) practicing attorneys stating that they have each fully made an independent investigation into the matters of fact and of law upon which the protest and petition are based, and that after the investigation they believe that the protest and petition should be sustained and that the relief prayed in the protest and petitions should be granted"

And yes, I know that the language in keeping with MRCP 11 which requires each pleading to be signed by an attorney etc. But I hope they now, after we have all seen the "evidence" and the lack of merit of each claim, it's time for sanctions.

Anonymous said...



Fidel Idithun

Anonymous said...

CL has a selection of the audio recordings from tyners's complaint, I hope for McDaniel's sake that these 9 files are not his strongest pieces of evidenced. The first recording is some lady recounting what her elderly mother may or may not have witnessed on the day if the timing off while working the poll. One, it's hearsay, and two, she says her mother say a "bailiff" give something, maybe vouchers to some people. But she can't say for sure. Next were several radio ads by African-American leaders. After all Mc-Tyner's talk, I thought, here it comes. But no, I don't see this as race bating. No one directly said go vote in the run off even it you voted in the dem primary, or go vote even if you don't plan to vote for Cochran in the general. They all said basically, Thad is good for Mississippi, and McDaniel is scary. It is clearly an appeal to African American voters to change their party allegiance. I see no wrongdoing

Anonymous said...

If I am not mistaken, the woman recounting what her mother saw is one of the plaintiffs in the TTV suit.

Anonymous said...

Shorter Nosef: Time to ante up or fold. We're not in your games.

Clock is running out on these survey says azzkkklowns.

Anonymous said...

"But Judge, We can't afford to pay for all of those redacted documents! But we can afford to hand out 52 plus copies of a 243 page un-redacted document!"

Enough said.

Anonymous said...

You guys realize that McDaniel's end game is not to win this contest right? It is to keep his name in the public until the 2015 state elections. He will be beat by "Haley's Machine" or by the "Establishment" and then announce his run for Governor or Lt. Governor as the people's true candidate.

Anonymous said...

Lots of people much smarter than I am comment here and I love to read it! Now I have a question, will this have to be filed in Hinds county? Will it be in Circuit Court? Like with a Judge Tommie Green presiding? If that is the case, since Mississippi does not identify as Republican or Democrat when voting, how are they going to be able to stand up in front of, say, Judge Tommie Green and say those Democrats in the Delta should not have been allowed to vote? And doesn't the complaint actually "call out" African Americans for voting? Somebody help me out here! I can't see any of this playing out well for Chris.

Anonymous said...

regardless of the GOP decision it was going to court so this was a time saving measure. The McNuts are going to continue to lose and be losers but are too dumb to in Mcdaniels case too egotist to quit. Good thing is he is washed up in Mississippi politics because of all the stupd, racist beliefs he holds. Back to the bunkers McNuts.

Anonymous said...

11:18, who are you kidding? They're not cowards- they're doing everyone a solid after seeing that garbage "evidence" and letting them take that junk to trial. I'm not sure I could listen to someone say how they went about a regression analysis using black people in order to find some number that they felt was in their favor with a straight face.

You can't be anonymous and call someone a coward, anyway.

That statement said it all- there's no way to listen to that amount of info in five hours and come out with an unbiased consensus- there's really no way to come out with an unbiased consensus on it just now. Best to let a judge hear it.

IMO, that stuff is ready for the garbage, and Mark Garriga's about to prove that. If he had evidence, that's one thing, but that stuff is so much weaker than I could have ever dreamed.

Anonymous said...

Good point, 12:44 McDaniel can pay to file lawsuits ,to generate all the paper documents so far and to buy gas for the bus for his dog and pony show but paying for redacted documents was .

J333, what on earth does " Fidel Idithum" mean to you? I know the names Fidel and Idithum but the words together are nonsensical. It's not Latin for anything. Do you belong to some sect or militia that imagines they have come up with a slogan like "Semper Fidelis" ?

Anonymous said...

Wise decision by Nosef. There is going to be a run on Preparation H when the dog and pony shows up in court with their binder of "proof", especially with the recent news releases regarding the McDaniel camp's involvement with Fielder and the photo scandal.

Anonymous said...

these type challenges are filed in Hinds County. No local judge will hear it, the Supreme Court will appoint a Special Judge. Remember the Hattiesburg mayoral challenge suit? Judge Coleman from Hinds was appointed and heard that case.

The Supreme Court will appoint a judge experienced in hearing these type cases so it can move as speedily as possible. I predict a motion to dismiss will be granted very quickly because of the delay. If not, it will die quickly as any competent judge will not allow the claptrap media reports, hearsay reports, and polling and analysis without any scientific bases, into evidence via orders granting motions in limine.

Franklin said...

Under the Republican Party rules it never has time to decide an election contest. Ever. Seems kinda pointless not to go directly to court

John Pittman Hey said...

There is no option to "go straight to court" under Mississippi law. McDaniel had to file his challenge with the State Executive Committee. He wasn't permitted by law to go "straight to court."

But now he can move it to Circuit Court, since the Executive Committee has declined to act. That's exactly how the law requires the process to proceed.

Anonymous said...

Franklin @Aug 7, 2014 at 8:40 am.
At first i thought that nosef was punting until I check the statute (I erroneously thought the petition for judicial review had to be filed within 10 days of the commissions decision). Considering that the petition must be filed within 10 days and stays the commissions proceeding, nosef did the right thing. There is no way a body made up of 52 volunteers could assemble and hear a petition like this in 10 days, so hearing it, or going through the motions and pretending like they could hear it in time would just waste everyone's time.

Anonymous said...

August 7, 2014 at 6:49 AM
"You guys realize that McDaniel's end game is not to win this contest right? It is to keep his name in the public until the 2015 state elections. He will be beat by "Haley's Machine" or by the "Establishment" and then announce his run for Governor or Lt. Governor as the people's true candidate."

You think McDaniel had a shot at Governor? HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!

McDaniel will be lucky to keep his seat in the Ms senate. But I am glad to know he keeps begging his supporters for money in order to stay relevant.

Anonymous said...

It's a shame none of this is in front of Frank Easterbrook.

Anonymous said...


Of the 52, where is at least one man or women of courage willing to stand up publicly and search for... the truth... either way.

Wrongs prevail when good men and women do nothing.

Fidel Idithun

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, thanks for reminding me via the comments on these election strings that there is something worse than republicans and something worse than Democrats. It is when they get together for a common cause.

Anonymous said...

"He will be beat by "Haley's Machine" or by the "Establishment" and then announce his run for Governor or Lt. Governor as the people's true candidate"

Right. That's why he is taking his campaign advice from former Governor Mitch Tyner.

Oh wait....

Anonymous said...

It is amazing to hear all the Cochran supporters defending the tactics used to court liberal Democrat voters they know don't support their overall objectives (or vice versa). It seems that there is not a strong legal recourse for this, but I think the overall discourse points out something even bigger. I find it very interesting that you rarely hear from Cochran supporters upset and complaining about the tactics the Cochran campaign used to court Democrats. These are the same race tactics MS Republicans have accused Democrats of using to scare voters away from voting republican for years. However, this does not seem to matter in this case. It is interesting how principle is overlooked when your candidate is in a tough election. Although, this challenge is likely going no where, there has in my opinion been a point made about what the establishment stands for.

Anonymous said...

This compares to "Take you challenge and shove it"; Good job, Joe! Exactly what they should have been told! This crap with McDaniel has gone on way too long! We are tired of hearing about it, tired of looking at his stupid face on tv, and tired of all his crazy followers who do not have a clue how government is run! Next stop, get him the hell out of the Mississippi Senate! He can be a tv preacher and beg for money!!!

Anonymous said...

As far as I am concerned anything was appropriate to keep Chris McDaniel our of the United States Senate. As it was said in YP yesterday, boy did we dodge a major bullet.

Anonymous said...

@ August 7, 2014 at 11:30 AM

I can't speak for "all Cochran supporters," but my only objective is to prevent an empty suit like Chris McDaniel from representing Mississippi in Washington D.C. And I invite anyone to help support that objective.

I could care less about him representing Jones County and his little neck of the woods in Jackson, because, he is less dangerous there; let's face it, he hasn't accomplished much of anything in the past 4 years.

Anonymous said...

6:49am McDaniel is done in statewide politics. Maybe there will be a warm seat for him on the Jones County School Board.

Anonymous said...

Certainly not you, Anonymous at 10:35, because you refuse to reveal your name while accusing people of being cowards!

Anonymous said...

1:33 pm
Nice enough thought, but somehow I doubt that McDaniel would be either interested or welcome on a public school board even in Jones County. Likely too many "liberal Democrats" and the needs of their children for an education there for his taste.

Anonymous said...

It is obvious that McDaniel is losing supporters as all this mess comes out. But he can rest assured that his three staunchest supporters continue to do him honor on this site.

There is @August 7, 2014 at 10:35 AM aka "the Fidel Idithun guy" aka the "Capitol Resources Conspiracy guy. Then there is the "Sock Puppet guy" and the "What are you all afraid of guy." Did I miss anyone?

Anonymous said...

@ August 7, 2014 at 1:32 PM

I understand your position and rationale regarding your dislike for McDaniel. My only thought is that we always teach two wrongs don't make a right. I guess the best question is does Cochran supporters have more in common with typical Benny Thompson voters or the thousands of voters that supported McDaniel? I always thought we asked voters to vote for the candidate who best represented their interest. In my opinion, there is very little Cochran supporters and liberal democrats have in common as it relates to politics. If McDaniel is so bad and the majority of republican voters in the primary still wanted him, then that sounds like a real problem within the party. Also, if your theory holds true and anyone would be better than McDaniel. Then why not let the actual self identified Republicans pick their choice and then those Republicans that feel McDaniel's is so bad go and vote for Childers in the general election. In my opinion, there is not much political difference between Childers and Cochran except their party affiliations and that does not seem to mean much when it comes to voting. I would rather ultimately vote for someone who's philosophy is closer to mine than partner with someone who I know I will never agree with politically. In conclusion, I look at it this way, if it took using questionable antics/tactics (mainly placing fear into black voters) and working with typical foes to get primarily democratic liberal voting blacks to help win a republican primary, then what does that say for where the republican party in Mississippi stands. To me it says there is a much bigger problem brewing internally within the overall party. When you have one side of the party teaming up with the liberal wing of the opposite party it is hard to see "the standing for values and principles motto" that Republicans/Conservatives preach. I was always taught if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.

Anonymous said...

Did I read correctly that the jury in a Court case will consist of Delbert, Phil and Jim Hood?

Anonymous said...

@August 7, 2014 at 2:55 PM

There are multiple factors that go into why people vote for their candidate of choice. Yes, ideology and interests are major factors, but integrity and character are factors too. I am sure that there are plenty of con artist and confidence men that have the same political philosophy that I have, would I vote for them simply for that reason? Obviously no.
And if the only valid reason for a voter to support a candidate was whether the candidate's interest or political philosophy more closely reflected that of the voter, than you wouldn't have all these McDaniel supporter's vowing to either abstain from voting or voting for Childers if McDaniel isn't on the ballot in November.

Anonymous said...

2:55 pm You've overlooked something quite important.

You are assuming there is no reason for a liberal Democrat to vote for Cochran.

In a state where a GOP winner is a near certainty, there is every reason to vote in the GOP primary to insure that the probable winner isn't to the right of Atilla the Hun!

And, when Cochran will be on the appropriations as Chair with a GOP majority, there is every reason for a liberal or Democrat to put their state first rather than engaging in tilting windmills!

You are coming across as extremely naïve!

Anonymous said...

Question for the election attorneys (or those of you who don't pay for westlaw by the transaction): are there any restrictions on the content if McDaniel's petition for judicial review? In other words, is McDaniel bound by the argument and evidence that he submitted in his petition with the executive committee?

One would think that, after the blowback with the good Reverend Fielder and all the hearsay evidence, that McDaniel, or Tyner, would want to try and take that stuff out if he wants a circuit court to take him seriously.

Anonymous said...

6:54, the answer to your question is no. They could come up with a completely different horshit argument, if they so choose. After the air ball they shot with the "Election Integrity Challenge", you'd think they would. However, this crowd isn't too good with backup plans. Or plans.

Anonymous said...

Well shit, he had that guy in there when he admitted to being paid to lie when he submitted it. The only thing different is now we see his staff member arranged for him to be paid.

Anonymous said...

My assumption would be that he is not bound by what was in the complaint to the executive committee since there are no specific rules of evidence that apply to the committee. Now he is in a court of law, his complaint will have to conform to the pleadings requirements applicable under rules of procedure, and he must be able to prove his case by admissible evidence. He will have to jettison the fluff and hearsay. All those affidavits will be of no use to prove his case. He will have to have actual admissible evidence of specific illegal votes.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I assume the Court will hear the case de novo, not as an appeal from the record before the party, but a new record--presumably with somewhat less Tyner horseshit.

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine Tyner in there trying to pass this horse shit off as evidence? Chances are they get a senior status judge, and I can't wait to watch Tyner try to explain the concept of Facebook and social media to some old curmudgeon.

Anonymous said...

@ August 7, 2014 at 4:49 PM

Your theory of a republican being elected in MS only holds true if establishment republicans wouldn't vote for a democrat. A Republican would not win if the majority of Thad supporters voted for Childers and the Democratic base turned out and voted for Childers also. Thus, it is not necessarily a given that a Republican wins in MS if Republicans cross over like dems did in the primary.

Also, if the republicans win the majority and Thad becomes appropriations chair come back on this board and let me know how the "conservatives" plan to benefit Mississippi with Thad as the chair. I would assume you would support a tighter budget with less spending, not pork barrel spending for Mississippi because of Thad leadership position. Again, I may sound naive, but the party of "principles" continues to move in a different direction. It is funny to hear "conservative" republicans talk about the potential benefits (more spending) of having a Senator as chair of appropriations.

And finally, another poster talked about integrity and character being additional key elements in a decision to support someone. Do you really think black democrats supported Thad because of his character and integrity? No they supported him because Thad's campaign team used tactics to make them afraid of McDaniels and because they gave money to black leaders to get out into the community with this message. I'll bet the majority of those blacks didn't even know Childers would face the winner in the general election. If that is the character and integrity you are looking for then so be it. Lastly, I think the reason Mcdaniel voters are talking about voting for Childers is exactly the answer you provided. They are likely closer to Thad in philosophy politically, but they think the tactics by his campaign show he doesn't have the character and integrity they like. I'll also bet that the same liberal democrats will suddenly like Childers political philosophy better and campaign against Thad based on his philosophy, integrity and previous lack of support of the black community.

If Its on the iternet it must be true said...

>>>I can't wait to watch Tyner try to explain the concept of Facebook and social media<<

Not to mention trying to explain trolls, flamers, and those who post under false names!

"So some of these people may not actually be his supporters but they are posting on his um uhh what did you call this again?"

Anonymous said...

12:28am You again are making all sorts of assumptions that are unrelated to political realities.

Yes, Republicans could cross over and vote for Childers and likely would should his GOP opponent be someone with the negatives of McDaniel. They might also sit home. Democrats have sat home when their party candidate is weak as well.

That the Tea Party has fractured the GOP in this state makes that a possibility for the first time in decades.

You overlooked how the districts are structured and the demographics.

You have made two other false assumptions.

The first is that all spending is " pork". There is spending that is necessary and that is an investment in the future.

The second false assumption is that Republicans spend less. Please look at spending in the administrations where Republicans were in control of both houses of Congress. The OMB and GAO and other federal government sites give spending histories by years.

Furthermore, since MS is a poor state without the financial resources to, on it's own, generate the dollars to deal with decaying infrastructure among other things, and without the political clout to have representatives of other states give us priority based on need, some of us think having someone to champion real needs in this state is not " pork". For example, the help we needed during Katrina was legitimate as we could not have dealt with the devastation financially without it.

You make rather insulting assumptions about why Blacks crossover for Thad. I doubt it was only Blacks who crossed over, but you overlook that Blacks had voted for Thad in the past. And, you assume that McDaniel's own positions and comments and actions of those associated with his campaign had nothing to do with the crossover. Moreover, you ignore that the negative piece you think motivated Blacks happened to be based on a wit that a lawyer who defended the Klan not only did contribute to McDaniel but gave an interview acknowledging his support and the Klan ties in the McDaniel family. At no point did, McDaniel return the contribution or denounce the Klan. He could have. He didn't.

I would also suggest to you that the assumption all Democrats are " liberal" is political hogwash just as it is hogwash that all Republicans support the narrow agenda of the extreme definition of " conservative" by the wing elements of their party.
There are fiscally conservative Democrats who are Pro-Life and NRA members just as there are fiscally conservative Republicans who think some gun control is necessary and are Pro-Choice.

Not everyone is so blinded by party loyalty and propaganda or so wrapped up in the party " us/them" mentality as to lose all objectivity.

But, the real key in this race is that the MS version of The Tea Party has been hijacked by it's bizarre members. Look at the bills put forth in our legislature by Tea Party loyalists. Do you really think a state or even our federal government gets to say what Israel's borders are?

Too many people vote for the man or woman running. In MS, especially, our population is small enough to know those running.

Your last bad assumption is that only the candidates of one party have integrity and never have a candidate who lacks integrity.

To this independent, McDaniel has the least amount of integrity of any candidate in the state in either party since Cliff Finch ran.

Anonymous said...

@August 8, 2014 at 12:28 AM

"Again, I may sound naive, but the party of "principles" continues to move in a different direction. It is funny to hear "conservative" republicans talk about the potential benefits (more spending) of having a Senator as chair of appropriations."

Yes you sound naive, so now that you have identified the problem, the next step is working it out. This is an example of the tea party extreme that is scary. Fiscal responsibility and tighter spending DOES NOT mean no spending at all! We forget that one of the many blunders that led to McDaniel's defeat was when he told the Associated Press in April that Mississippi could afford to forego federal funding for elementary and secondary schools.

"Do you really think black democrats supported Thad because of his character and integrity?"

No, I think they voted for Thad because of his (Thad's) character and integrity, but because of McDaniel's lack of those qualities.

Anonymous said...

It is clear that there is no chance for Chris to get a fair shake in the Lamestream Establishment Court System. He should make a presentment before the Citizen's Grand Jury. Then the determination can be enforced by Militia.

Anonymous said...

11:42 is either mischievously trying to provoke a reaction or is full bore "sovereign citizen" style crazy. I can't tell anymore. Either way, there seems to be a few McD supporters idea of freedom tilts in the direction of jack boots and brown shirts. After all, the SA was a militia too.

Anonymous said...

@August 8, 2014 at 6:46 AM

Since I am so naive and full of assumptions here a few facts. when the name calling starts I know I have struck a nerve.


1.) Chris McDaniel led the primary election.
2.) McDaniel was leading on almost all polls heading into the runoff.
3.) CM would have won the runoff without black democrat votes.
4.) The Cochran campaign staff paid black preachers and community organizers to obtain typical black democrat votes.
5.) Race baiting politics was used in a manner that is often criticized by republicans.
6.) You portray CM as one of little character and integrity. However, facts #1,2&3 indicate there were a lot of folks who voted in the republican primary and runoff for CM.
7.) If CM republican voters vote for Childers then Childers can win.
8.) The Tea party can only fracture a party if there are enough votes. Point #3 above indicates the Tea Party would have been the majority within the GOP if democrat black voters had not come out in such high numbers.
9.) Republicans and Dems both have spending problems. I'll bet you every member of the congressional black caucus will agree with your notion of representing a poor district with decaying resources. They'll also support your notion that all spending is not pork, but needed to improve their district and state. Good luck with finding the money and then dividing it up since you support this position.
10.) Blacks voted against CM and not for TC. However, this was due to a calculated tactic by the TC campaign. There has been many a bad republican opponent running against another republican and never have blacks went out and voted so overwhelming. In fact, I'll bet the majority voted republican for the first time. This tactic was based on fear of not winning, not because CM was so bad. In fact, if CM had gracefully gave a concession speech and put his support behind TC the same people running him down would have said "it is time to unite the party and CM is a good honorable man".

The bottom line is this, the facts are the facts. While the TC supporters continue to run CM down they better be careful, because if Childers and the Democratic party is smart they should be courting CM voters from now until election day. Their theme should be "Atleast we'll tell you what we stand for!!"

Anonymous said...

Lemme see if I can figure this out, Mr. 4:29.

CM is trying to throw out 25000 black votes.

But the Other GUY is the racist?!!

Anonymous said...

4:29 pm The only " facts" you have correctly is #1 on your list and possibly #3 ( just not as you so badly expressed it).

All your other " facts" are based on the false assumptions that phone polling doesn't have error factors built in and that you know what motivates voters , black or white, to crossover and that crossover voting is illegal or immoral.

I suggest you actually read TTV and Tyner filings on behalf of McDaniel. In all of the submitted supporting documents there has been only ONE that is possibly an illegal vote. The remaining are hearsay and unsworn statements. Worse, in the names of voters accused of voting illegally are more than a few prominent Republicans.

The claims of up to 25000 illegal votes are based on nothing and never once has either TTV or Tyner or McDaniel come anywhere close to proving the claims they've made.

Nor have they proven people were " paid" to vote.

You seem to have forgotten we have voter ID. You seem to absolutely not understand registering and voting or getting out the vote if you think someone in politics is so stupid as to just hand out money to preachers and think that preachers can " deliver" substantial votes by paying their congregation to vote!

What is common is that preachers help arrange for the transportation to get anyone who needs it to the polls. They let their congregations how to arrange for that transportation.

There are costs associated with this just as there are when transportation is arranged from a parking lot to the location of a fund raising event ( something else in which you probably have never participated ).

I've been involved in campaigns for both GOP and Democratic candidates over the years.

McDaniel is either ignorant himself ( and has zero excuse) or a con man and you are ignorant about how an well organized campaign works!

You are the one race baiting by stating your assumptions that blacks crossed over only for the reasons you state and had no knowledge or independent interest in the campaign after listening to YOUR candidate! And, worse, you are extremely insulting in your suggestion that there are so many blacks who would sell the vote they and their parents risked their lives to obtain!

I haven't just " called you names". I've explained repeatedly why you are making yourself look like an ignorant ass on this blog!

Unknown said...

Chris will prevail.

Anonymous said...

@11:28 PM wrote: "No one directly said go vote in the run off even it you voted in the dem primary..." This is untrue; one of the radio-spots I listened to from Crudup specifically encouraged "all registered voters" to show up on 6/24 for Cochran, including those who would be committing a misdemeanor by doing so.

@11:28 PM wrote: "...or go vote even if you don't plan to vote for Cochran in the general." This is also untrue; the audio from Siggurs specifically said that in this 'special election' only the voters should show up for Cochran.

@11:28 PM wrote: "But no, I don't see this as race bating." One of the flyers published by Crudup specifically said "the tea party intends to prevent you from voting" with a big picture above it of civil rights protestors in black-n-white from the 1960s. You don't think that is race-baiting? What planet are you from?

Henry Barbour's money paid for all of this stuff above, via transfers from Mississippi Conservatives PAC over into the new All Citizens For Mississippi PAC. He at first said there was no connection, and that he had no idea what was in any such adverts, but later admitted there was a connection to some of it (he blames Ruth Harris for the adverts falsely saying McDaniel is in the KKK). Plus, now Henry Barbour has doubled down on the content produced by All Citizens For Mississippi PAC, which he funded but was not otherwise associated with, saying the adverts were deserved by McDaniel, and furthermore that tea party supporters really *do* intend to prevent minorities from voting.

If you still think all this nasty panic-rhetoric from June was "clearly" just some kind of attempt to get voters to change from 'D' to an 'R' allegiance at the polls, then you must believe something VERY different from me, in terms of what the 'R' actually stands for (party platform / repub creed / speeches of Reagan / words of Madison et al meaning exactly what they say / etc). The party of Lincoln doesn't mean, the party that abandons principle at the drop of a hat, and does whatever it takes to win a primary; ditto for the party of Reagan.

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In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS