Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Funny of the Day

 Straight from the Byram Police Department.  You can't make this up.  

As for the comments section, don't, just don't.  


Anonymous said...

Pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered.

Should have stopped at 15 buckets.

Anonymous said...

Oh, man. Bite my tongue.

Anonymous said...

I remember form The Enterprise Journal an old woman had her son arrested for stealing her jar of pig lips. This was several years ago.

Anonymous said...

Byram PD was hunting on a baited field.

Anonymous said...

There is no place for chitterling thieves in Byram. Chitterling thieves, be on notice: if you steal chitterlings, BPD is coming for you, fast, hard, like a wraith in the night. We will not tolerate chitterling thieves and the threat they pose to Our Democracy.

Tweety said...

Were they Stump whipped?
When I was young during the annual hog killin I was directed to help grandma clean the chittlins. We did find a stump off from the gathering and I was excited to sling me some guts. She laughed and said no silly, if you sling them the "stuff" will go everywhere, including on you! You put your pan on the stump and gently squeeze the stuff on the far side of stump and the stump keeps the stuff off your feet. Actually kinda clean process if you do it right. I asked why say stump whipped? She laughed and said it was a secret wives tale to keep everybody else from trying to take the easy job.
But, I guess walking out with them is easier still. 🙁

Anonymous said...

Now I know why our chitterlings (chittlins) cost so much for our thanksgiving dinner.

Anonymous said...

As high as chitlin's is today...that's almost a felony!

Anonymous said...

The arrest sure did mess up the base for a big yard party!

Anonymous said...

Eat every part of a pig but the squeal.

Anonymous said...

How did she do it? If she was able to shove 160 pounds of chitterlings into her clothing, the picture alone could almost earn her a pardon. If she tried to sneak 160 pounds of frozen chitterlings out, she's got a shot at an insanity defense.

Anonymous said...

I was not going to comment but….who in the world would eat intestines of an animal? Why? We are above that. These food items should be outlawed simply because of the danger to health of eating them even if they are cleaned. Part of my family was from the Delta and that stuff was a delicacy….never ate them and I never will. I was made fun of and I really don’t care. The smell of them cooking was worse than you could imagine. Just think about this, Cooking shit is just what it is.

Anonymous said...

"who in the world would eat intestines of an animal? Why? We are above that."

Quick hint. Intestines are what encases sausages. The best sausages at that. When we buy a fresh sausage in natural casing, we spend more money because we appreciate the quality and technique and it requires more skill because not all natural casings are the same shape or form or thickness, etc.
Best part, "chitlins" are basically this natural pork casing that isn't stuffed. They'd use ends and pieces and shorts that aren't lengthy or specific enough to package in a "hank" ...which is standard lengths of purchase for stuffing sausage. They're all cleaned the same, all meet USDA guidelines and standards which is overbearing compared to other parts of the world in many cases.
So we are certainly not "above" eating what the best produced sausages are encased in but we may be "below" understanding what the chitlin product really is.
It's nothing to be afraid of and there's no social status attached to understanding and eating historically correct food items....but if there were, we may be on the wrong side of it when we assume we're above consumption. I would imagine that fried or microwaved chicken tenders, chicken breasts, chicken from Popeye's or KFC of any sort is just fine for us and even our children even when the chicken is more foul (pun intended) than all. Chicken is more likely to harbor bacteria, often requires killing massive farms worth due to disease? We know this but we just accept it....or maybe we don't know or don't realize.
I eat all meats, guts and all but I source whats raised best and intestines are so much more than chitlins. Just so happens that poor folks get stuck with the insults because of the smell and because we don't know what we're avoiding.
Sometimes we look ignorant avoiding that which we are unfamiliar when we'll consume garbage comparatively because we think it smells better or looks better..

Anonymous said...

@10:38 - We make our own venison sausage and get natural casings from Wilson's in Crystal Springs. You have to order them by the pound in advance and pick them up at the store. We wash them in the kitchen sink before making the sausage. I like to make our own sausage because I can add whatever spices I want instead of getting stuck with the sometimes-dubious flavor spice blends of the commercial deer processing places.

Anonymous said...

My grandmother washed and rewashed her chitlins several times. Several times. Then she boiled them for hours on my granddad's gas grill in the back yard. That kept the odor down in the house but drew every dog in the neighborhood. Then she battered and fried the boiled chitlins in a cast iron skillet. With enough ketchup, they were pretty good.

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

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Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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