Jackson Jambalaya

 You can't heat some people enough.   Some assaults should be classified as justifiable. The Wall Street Journal reported: 

Christopher Mosby was pleased to find Starlink Wi-Fi available on his United Airlines flight from Chicago to Denver earlier this year. But 15 minutes into the trip, he heard the telltale sounds of a work call coming from seat 4A: agenda updates, awkward pauses and everyone’s favorite: “Can you see my screen?”

The new era of in-flight connectivity is here, and with it, a new era of in-flight annoyance.

Fast, free internet is rolling out on planes around the world, and travelers are finding it hard to resist the temptation to hop on a work Zoom or FaceTime a loved one—in some cases, like Mosby’s flight, defying crew instructions that calls of any sort are forbidden. (KF: I can hear it now.  I'm talking to my BABY!!!)...

The chatter has become a regular feature of Oliver Louie’s flights on Qatar Airways, which has installed Starlink and is one of a small but growing number of global airlines that does allow passengers to use it for video and voice calls.

Most of the calls are quick, and flight attendants are good about asking passengers to lower the volume, Louie said.

Then there are passengers like the one sitting several rows behind him on a recent flight from Cape Town to Doha. The man spent about two hours taking what sounded like a work call while most of his seatmates were trying to sleep. 

“In an airplane where it’s pretty quiet, it’s very easy for the entire cabin to hear what’s going on,” Louie said....

But the days of laggy, draggy and expensive in-flight internet are coming to an end. For most, that’s something to cheer.

Starlink, which boasts zippy connections via thousands of satellites in low Earth orbit, is becoming a dominant internet provider for airlines. Some carriers have signed up for a competing service promised by Amazon in the coming years. 

Peter Zaballos already finds cabin cacophony unbearable. Even without Starlink, travelers spend flights streaming and scrolling—the rise of headphone resisters doesn’t help.

Last year Zaballos heard a phone ring during a flight. He sat in disbelief as the passenger answered it and chatted away for a couple of minutes.

“He was catching up with a friend,” Zaballos said. “Like he was at home.”

His efforts to confront in-flight callers haven’t gone well.

“I think there’s a growing, sizable minority who thinks it’s fine, and they very aggressively defend it,” he said. (KF: Simple solution.  Bring back the boombox wars. Crank up some music or a video on your speakerphone.  Loud).  

The Federal Communications Commission has long banned cellular calls during flights. While the prohibition doesn’t apply to Wi-Fi calls, United this year updated its fine print to make clear that violating rules against video calls (not just voice calls) can have consequences, including potentially getting passengers permanently booted from its flights.

A bipartisan group of lawmakers earlier this year proposed the Quiet Skies Act, which would direct the Transportation Department to issue long-delayed regulations banning any in-flight voice calls. The bill’s biggest cheerleaders? Road warriors.

The Global Business Travel Association has lobbied for the legislation, arguing the airplane cabin should remain a place to “work, rest and think, and not become a group phone booth for dozens of simultaneous private conversations at 35,000 feet.”

Not everyone sees it that way. After all, “Airfones” installed in some seat backs once allowed passengers to make calls—albeit for a hefty fee. And nothing stops passengers from loudly chitchatting with seatmates.

“Most people aren’t a nuisance making inflight calls or taking inflight conference calls,” aviation blogger Gary Leff wrote. Many just want to say a quick “good night” or let loved ones know if they’re running late. “We shouldn’t make rules for everyone based on the jerks, we should address the jerks.”

Carriers including Qatar, Emirates and British Airways have been allowing passengers to use their Starlink service for calls. Basic etiquette rules still apply: The carriers remind passengers to wear headphones and keep their voices down. Qatar said passengers have been considerate and feedback has been good.

Plane maker Boeing believes there could be a low-tech solution to please everyone: a phone booth. It showcased a privacy pod at an aircraft interiors trade show earlier this year. (KF: Just one problem.  It's made by Boeing.) 

“It would offer people a place to go and to speak with a level of privacy, with a level of acoustic separation from the rest of the cabin,” said Tom Eaton, chief industrial designer of Boeing EnCore Interiors.

While traveling back to the U.S. for Thanksgiving in 2024, just after Qatar started adding Starlink, Jamer Heasley had an emergency: his jeans ripped. He went back near the galley where he wouldn’t bother his seatmates and called his mom, asking her to grab a replacement pair. She doesn’t always see texts right away.

The key is to be courteous to fellow passengers. A quick call is one thing, but “I’m not going to sit there and run a deal,” the auto broker said. When his phone rings with a work call during a flight, he sends it to voicemail and sticks to text and email.

“We’re all stuck in this tube going somewhere, and there’s no way out,” he said.

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