Friday, December 29, 2023

Commish: Use Common Sense When Using Fireworks

 Commissioner of Insurance Michael Chaney issued the following statement. 

Fireworks were involved with over 10,000 injuries treated in U.S. hospital emergency departments during 2022, according to a report from the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Children are especially at risk for injury. The report states that those 15 to 19 years of age had the highest estimated rate of injury followed by children ages 10 to 14.

Teach your child not to point or throw fireworks at people, animals, or buildings,” Chaney said. “Show children how to put fireworks in buckets of water and dispose of them properly so as not to start a fire.”

The Mississippi State Fire Marshal recommends these additional safety tips:

        Observe local laws.

o   Those wishing to purchase and use fireworks should first check with their fire protection officials to make sure that local laws are being followed.

o   Some municipalities prohibit fireworks from being used within city limits.

        Use common sense: always read and follow the directions on each firework.

        Never point or throw fireworks at another person.

        Buy from reliable fireworks sellers. Store them in a cool, dry place.

        Always have an adult present when shooting fireworks.

        Put used fireworks in a bucket of water and have a hose ready.

        Only use fireworks outdoors, away from homes, dry grass, and trees.

        Light only one item at a time and keep a safe distance.

        Never experiment or attempt to make your own fireworks.

        Never re-ignite malfunctioning fireworks.

        Never give fireworks to small children.

        Never carry fireworks in your pocket.

        Never shoot fireworks in metal or glass containers.

Kingfish note: A lead pipe is great for bottle rocket wars. 


Anonymous said...

"Buy from reliable fireworks sellers." What the hell does this mean?

"Never give fireworks to small children." It's ok to give them to large children?

Steve said...

Ha! Pretty good rules to use regarding firearms in the bold new city.

Anonymous said...

"Always have a SOBER adult present when shooting fireworks."

Anonymous said...

Thanks to the Commisioner for being the master of the obvious!

Anonymous said...

Who can afford fireworks in this economy? Who will dare drive to a fireworks show with so many damn drunks in the road?

Anonymous said...

Just avoid the "hold my beer and watch this" moments. You'll be fine if you can do that.

Hawkeye Pierce said...

A family member is an ER doctor, New Year’s Eve and July 4 are two of the most dreaded nights; patients, many of them young children, come in with disfiguring fireworks injuries. Testosterone poisoning makes people feel like they need to get the biggest, loudest, and most dangerous fireworks for their small children. Just take them to a fireworks show and let them keep their fingers.

Anonymous said...

People with common sense do not waste money on fireworks to begin with.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE people....this set of warnings was provided in your best interest.
No need to make fun or ridicule anyone.
Should you have any other concerns for firework safety, call 1-800-KABOOM

Anonymous said...

Wow! A republican using the left wing/lib buzz word "common sense."

Anonymous said...

"Kingfish note: A lead pipe is great for bottle rocket wars"

Hey KF, see bullet number 3 you moron.

Anonymous said...

Joe Dirt:
So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?

Kicking Wing:

Joe Dirt:
Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?

Kicking Wing:
No, I don't.

Joe Dirt:
You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?

Anonymous said...

I've got no problem with this. They do it every year.

Anonymous said...

What does common sense even mean to people who live in Jackson? Tr not to kill anyone when you shoot your firearms?

Anonymous said...

The guy with 3 fingers and an eye patch always sells the best fireworks.

Anonymous said...

Customer: I'll be back in a couple of hours with enough cash.

Fireworks seller: I'll keep an eye out for you.

Anonymous said...

How do you know if you've bought good fireworks?

When the guy running the store gives you a high four.

Anonymous said...

I wondered what became of Chaney. Last time I heard from him he was telling us to not run a portable heater in a trailer. Shit, I thought he had died.

That ole boy will be running second behind Cecil Brown for setting a PERS retirement record.

Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel


Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS