Saturday, November 4, 2023


 You made it out of Jackson.  You enjoy the new digs.  However, there is something not quite right as you are somehow unable to sleep at night.  Fortunately, Jackson Jambalaya found something on Youtube that can help those afflicted with such a problem.  


Anonymous said...

Ahh yes. War zone ASMR.

The only thing missing are the wails of the wounded.

Snark connoisseur said...

Quality snark, from a snark master.

Anonymous said...

That's a good one, Kingfish. My favorite, however, is the one replicating a B-29 flying into a thunderstorm with intermittent radio and intercom chatter. The POV is from the flight engineer's position.

Anonymous said...

I miss the smell of napalm in the morning in Madison.

Anonymous said...

Being a dick isn’t “quality snark,” Kingfish

Anonymous said...

Has it gotten that bad, Fish?

Anonymous said...

5:11 am I've yet to hear gunfire in Jackson MS and I've been here 45 years.

Perhaps KF lives in a bad neighborhood...every city has them. Every city has crime. Indeed, even the small towns and suburbs that like feeling immune, aren't.

This is the only State I've lived in that is infected with citizens who think bashing our capitol isn't a stupid thing, self-destructive thing to do and that fear-mongering and demeaning others is entertaining conversation.

If we are competing for economic investments, all our competitors have to do is show examples of how we don't even like or support each other here.

Kingfish said...

Then you are deaf.

Anonymous said...

@9:00, I work in Jackson and I wish I didn’t have to. I have heard gunshots on 3 different occasions in the parking lot of my employer. When I retire I hope to never set foot in the city limits of Jackson again. Yes we have crime in Madison and it’s not being committed by Madison or Brandon residents. There are no businesses left in Jackson to steal from so they come to Best Buy, Dicks and Ulta in Madison.

I have friends who sang the praises of Fondren for many years. They really felt like they were superior to the rest of Jackson, superior to Belhaven and Eastover. I asked them what was so special about Fondren and they mumbled something about the egg and olive sandwiches at Brent’s and the brunch at Walker’s. I just laughed. There was no sense of community. They were afraid to trick or treat or let the kids ride a bicycle on the street, no other kids in the neighborhood. Then the armed carjackings began down the street and a lawnmower stolen from the neighbors across the street, petty theft increased, too many transients in the area. The neighbors were uppity and never spoke when they saw or heard something.
My friends sold and left Jackson and no longer have to send the kids to private school. They go to the public schools in Madison. They can trick or treat safely in Madison neighborhoods and not worry about stray bullets. Those elite Fondren people can keep their egg and olive sandwiches, lol.

Inquiring mind said...

“5:11 am I've yet to hear gunfire in Jackson MS and I've been here 45 years.”

“This is the only State I've lived in that is infected with citizens who think bashing our capitol isn't a stupid thing”

How old are you, and how many other states have you lived in?

Anonymous said...

I’ve lived in Fondren since I returned from 25 years out of state. I live, work , shop and play in Fondren and Belhaven. We were covered up in polite family accompanied trick or treaters Monday night. I ride and walk all over, from mill street to I-55 and downtown to Northside. I’ve never had nor seen a problem. I’ve got 20+ fine restaurants to walk to and enjoy national acts visiting Duling Halll. Y’all can keep your sterile and unsustainable strip malls.

Anonymous said...

Careful, 12:45, you are going to trigger Kingfish and his merry little band of idiot commenters. They are all going to descend on you with one group-thought voice to yell at you because you said something nice about an area they do not like.

Remember guys, West Virginia has been close to replacing MS at the bottom of every good list for quite some time. Accordingly, it's very important that we bash and trash our capital and largest city (by a long shot), even though it's larger and mid-size cities that typically generate economic growth. Indeed, MS can do very well for itself if it's just a collection of small towns where Wal-Mart is the biggest employer (to be clear, there is nothing wrong with a small town. But there is something wrong with intolerance for anything but, and this website, with Kingfish in the driver's seat, has become quite the poster child for intolerance for anything but in so many ways...)

Kingfish, are we going to trash our universities next?

Anonymous said...

November 5, 2023 at 12:45 PM, the question isn't if they can keep their “sterile and unsustainable strip malls.” With Jackson's steady decline, the question is, can you keep all you boast of? The odds aren't in your favor.

Anonymous said...

If you relish the sound of municipal gunfire and feel neglected, head on over to the area of the Supreme Court Building near or bordering Greenwood Cemetery in the virtual heart of the city. Please report back. (wear a safety helmet)

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear from a couple of graduates of our Blind and Deaf schools.

Anonymous said...

The sound of gunfire, off in the distance
I'm getting used to it now
Lived in a brownstone, lived in a ghetto
I've lived all over this town

Anonymous said...

12:45 Don't adjust those blinders... they're serving you well... until..

Anonymous said...

November 5, 2023 at 1:21 PM, you've come to the wrong spot to bitch about the city getting trashed. That would be the mayor's office that's in charge of trashing the city, and he's doing a hell've a job, if I do say so myself.

Anonymous said...

The marxis mayor of Jackson, is like the blood sucking parasite on a slowly dying host. He will be there to the bitter end.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Walks on Mill St.! You had me going for a sec until the walks on Mill St part. Good one

Speakers R Us said...

If you say you haven't heard gunfire in Jackson, you're either lying, deaf or or riding around with a 2000 watt amplifier in the trunk attached to your boom-box.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it. What is the point here?

Anonymous said...

It is far too easy to convert AR15s and Glock pistols to full auto. Easy enough that 15 year old thugs are making the city sound like Kiev or Gaza City at night.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS