Sunday, July 16, 2023

Bill Crawford: Wealth Migration to South Skips Over Mississippi

“A $100 Billion Wealth Migration Tilts U.S. Economy’s Center of Gravity South,” read the headline on Bloomberg.com. “For the first time, six fast-growing states in the South – Florida, Texas, Georgia, the Carolinas, and Tennessee – are contributing more to the national GDP than the Northeast,” continued the article.

Citing Internal Revenue data, Bloomberg said “a flood of transplants helped steer about $100 billion in new income to the Southeast in 2020 and 2021 alone, while the Northeast bled out about $60 billion.”

“The uplift isn’t happening equally everywhere, or equally for everyone,” reported Bloomberg.

Notably, the article included a map based on Census Bureau data that illustrated the migration, marking growth in green and declines in red. It showed lots of green and dark green areas in the six states mentioned, particularly in larger cities. These states included ten of the nation’s 15 fastest growing cities.

The map also showed lots of red and dark red in Mississippi. That was particularly true for our only large city of Jackson. New Orleans and Memphis also showed lots of dark red.

The article noted that this massive shift of population really began five decades ago and resulted in 12 Southeast states getting to add 33 congressional seats.

Over that same period, Mississippi lost a seat and almost lost another after the 2020 Census.

The takeaway from the Bloomberg article is that most of the terrific boom that swept across the South skipped over Mississippi.

That aligns with a 48th overall ranking in the “2023 Best and Worst State Economies” study by WalletHub.com. Among key categories, Mississippi ranked 43rd for change in GDP, 49th in start-up activity, 45th for change in non-farm payrolls, 42nd in building permit activity, 48th in share of jobs in high-tech industries, and 50th in independent investor patents.

Some interesting tidbits. Three of the six booming states have no income tax, as Gov. Tate Reeves likes to point out – Texas, Florida, and Tennessee. But the other three – Georgia and North and South Carolina – have higher top income tax rates than Mississippi.

Four of the states have minimum wages the same as Mississippi, $7.25 an hour. But Georgia and Florida have minimum wages of $11.00 per hour.

It would appear from the Bloomberg article and other data, that quality of life, good schools, low property taxes, and economic opportunity have had more to do with growth than no income taxes and low wages.

It also would appear that the shrinking City of Jackson has been an impediment to growth for Mississippi.

“Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths” – Psalm 25:4.

Crawford is a syndicated columnist from Jackson.

 

59 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jackson will continue to shrink.

Anonymous said...

This state has nothing to offer anyone unless you are a white Pentecostal farmer or an ambulance chasing blood sucking lawyer.

Anonymous said...

This is supposed to be surprising?

When you have you largest city being run like a daycare and leaders at the state level are not forward thinking or intellectual, this is what you get.

Where are all the huge corporations that were ready to do business in Mississippi, once that flag was changed?

Anonymous said...

Judging by the recurring comments on this site many people who live in the Jackson suburbs believe they are net winners from Jackson shrinking. This exposes that they are wrong. They lose too--just not as badly as Jackson residents. The whole state loses.

The state government should continue with measures like HB 1020 and the temporary water takeover last summer in order to help Jackson residents and the entire state. HB 1020 opponents are misguided and wrong to think it is bad for Jacksonians and all Mississippians. Throwing a few judge appointment bones to the political machine is a good trade for the state investment in improving Jackson.

Anonymous said...

Candidates for State and local office always promise the same things: lower crime, better economy, higher teacher salaries, more transparency, etc., etc., and so forth and so on. If they do all these wonderful things, why is this state still at or near the bottom in most categories?

Anonymous said...

9:25 is right. 68 year Jackson resident here and agree as we are being killed by trashy people with no home training.

Anonymous said...

There is a reason that MS is at the bottom of every list. The mentality of the people running everything. MS could be a great income building state, but people are too ingrained in nepotism to let that happen. If you don’t know Bob, you will not get that job.

Bill Crawford = Fraud Columnist said...

... and almost lost another after the 2020 Census.

Unsubstantiated, purposeful misinformation from Crawford. Mississippi didn't almost lose a seat. Mississippi isn't projected to lose a seat in 2030 either.

Post census analysis by the Census Bureau also revealed that Mississippi was under counted by -4.11% which means Mississippi actually gained population (~ +100,000) in the decade ending 2020. Even the f'ing Barksdalers reported on this but being honest about this error doesn't fit Crawford's narrative.

This the graphic to which Crawford refers but doesn't exhibit the courtesy to provide or link to for readers.

An analysis of the body of 2020 Census data now available explains that "the shrinking City of Jackson has been an impediment" to Jackson and not to the growth of Mississippi.

Another Bill Crawford column written with exaggeration, error and omission simply to attack Tate Reeves.

Anonymous said...

Does this surprise anyone?

Anonymous said...

Amen, 10:03. Commenters on here appear to think that Jackson is irrelevant and it’s demise is something to clap about. Even those who claim to care on here are often cheering just as loudly when something bad happens to the city. Of course, this type of attitude bleeds over into the state house where our legislators continue to throw the middle finger to the city whenever they can because it gets them political points. They actively work against the only thing close to a sizeable city in their borders (like using federal hurricane disaster relief funds to build Renaissance and gut downtown), and then they wonder why Mississippi is getting different results than other states. This is completely, 100% self inflicted, and if you continue to vote for these buffoons, then you’re part of the problem.

Anonymous said...

Y'all need to get out some because if you think the Golden Triangle, Desoto County and Mississippi's coast aren't growing because of the availability of good jobs then you wouldn't know the truth if it was staring you in the face.

Mississippi's problem is Hinds County, Jackson specifically, Lumumba especially and there are no objective measures that prove otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Why do we assume that population growth is a virtue? What's wrong with a more rural life,

Personally, I like plenty of space and affordable homes/land. I also enjoy the more rural values: respect for privacy, a do-it-yourself mindset, friendliness and a healthy respect for the environment.

Living in a booming city is my version of a nightmare.

Anonymous said...

Happily and sadly we just joined the groups leaving Jackson and Mississippi. We have just moved to North Carolina. Our real estate will appreciate here. We are taking a loss on our place in Jackson.

There is great opportunity here in North Carolina. The crime is far less than in Jackson and the cost of living is less. Our first power bill is 40% less. Our house and car insurance is less. The schools here really do perform. The health care facilities are really good and they improve by bringing talented people in from out of state instead of relying on home grown and the buddy-system of Mississippi.

Sad because we will miss some great people in this area like Kingfish. Keep up the wonderful reporting Kingfish. We will continue supporting you though you are gone from the rear-view mirror.

Anonymous said...

this state is run by the Baptist church and it shows...

By Baptist , I mean every conservative religious sect ,it's the same BS
and we wonder why our kids move to Nashville ...

Anonymous said...

Mississippi is simply reaping the consequences of the backwards leadership it had during the 1970's and 80's, the critical time when "Sun Belt" relocation brought big business and development South. The Mississippi government AND key business interests were more concerned with protecting the local white power structure than to welcoming "Yankee" dollars which might also bring unwelcomed social change. In Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Florida etc. the agents of change won. In Mississippi the agents of "ole Dixie" won. The state, especially the urban center Jackson just stagnated. New money never came, now we must depend on the same old money as always, and that money moved to the suburbs...hence 2023 Jackson Miss. You reap what you sow.

Anonymous said...

Nashville, Charlotte, and Charleston are Amazing!
Charlotte and Charleston have very similar demographics to the Jackson metro.
However, the population of NC and SC is infinitely better educated and have a much better work ethic.
No matter the race, they work hard for what they have and are proud of what the have.
It wouldn’t be uncommon to drive through an upper middle class neighborhood in Charleston and it’s 30% white, 30% black and 30% “other” and everyone has a beautiful; well maintained colonial home over 200 years old, and worth over $1 million.
And nobody is jealous and miserable like a Brandon/Flowood/Madison Karen driving a used Audi.

Anonymous said...

“ Where are all the huge corporations that were ready to do business in Mississippi, once that flag was changed?
July 16, 2023 at 9:51 AM”

I don’t think anyone will address your point but it’s a great one and one that nobody and I mean NOBODY will talk about

Anonymous said...

“ Judging by the recurring comments on this site many people who live in the Jackson suburbs believe they are net winners from Jackson shrinking. This exposes that they are wrong. They lose too--just not as badly as Jackson residents. The whole state loses.
July 16, 2023 at 10:03 AM”

Care to explain why everyone suffers when one city continuously fails? I’m waiting and could use a good laugh

Anonymous said...

@9:51 - Right! And add the tearing down or removal of statures and renaming buildings, streets, etc. to allow our forward thinking scholars to be free thinkers and get this state off the bottom of things.

Anonymous said...

The good news about Mississippi is that it has a low cost of living and finding a job isn't really a problem here. It doesn't cost as much to live here. The jury is out on Jackson. Not sure it will ever come back.

Anonymous said...

1:25- Everyone from the local, underground, liberal, amateur media, to the sell-out legislatures PROMISED a long line of businesses that were wait for the flag to change so they could come to the Magnolia State. From the NCAA to startups, the ONLY thing we were told that was hold Mississippi back was that darned flag.

Well, that’s not true.

From an uneducated workforce to lack of infrastructure, Mississippi has done it to itself.

We have encouraged our kids to get out of this state if they truly want to develop professionally and have a good future. Thank God they did. The education they got and the jobs they they received by leaving are so much better than any of the nonsense they would have gotten here had they stayed.

Anonymous said...

1:25 What idiot ever said just changing the ridiculous state flag would bring numerous businesses to the state? What WAS said was it would remove one more black eye from the image of a backwards state. A help not a hurt. Just one hindrance we could do without. We are all better off without an image of racism and stupidity which did not help. Why are you beating that dead horse?

Anonymous said...

I'd rather live in the suburbs than Jackson, that is for sure. But the comments on here are correct, as Jackson sinks, it is an anchor we are all tied to, like it or not. Life is good in Madison and Rankin, but could be so much better if we could fix some of the educational and social problems that plague Jackson and other parts of the state. Your Madison house would be worth twice as much in Florida, Texas or North Carolina. Quit comparing yourself to Jackson.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi is right where most of Mississippi wants to be. Jackson is right where most people in Mississippi want it to be. Sad but true. It's that kind of place. if you don't like it you should have left back in 1960.

Anonymous said...

I know St. A's and JA gave my spawn great opportunities for Education, friends and sports and college. If Gov. Reeves and Legislature would create and pass Choice and Vouchers, as other conservative states have done, all Mississippi youth can have an opportunity to access a better chance to advance in life, even as Lil Choke and his guerrilla crew force ghetto marxist horrors on them.

The new flag is OK, but I would have preferred a talented, brave Mockingbird symbol over the sissy flower. Nobody cares about flags now, which is maybe better than so many hating the old battle flag. I have walked among the battle dead at the mass grave on Ole Miss' campus, up above the track field, and contemplated the honor of their gallant bravery and fatal sacrifice for Mississippi and the South.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi's largest problem -- among several -- is the lack of an educable workforce. And I didn't say and don't mean "educated"; no, I meant what I said, Mississippi simply does not have an educable workforce that can be trained and relied upon to show up for work and perform adequately.

Perhaps it's time to change the flag. Everybody knows the magnolia is a subliminal signal of slavery and White supremacy going back to the days of plantations, mint juleps, and cotton fields.

Anonymous said...

We moved from the heart of Madison to Baton Rouge and our quality of life improved tenfold. There are parks, museums, libraries, live entertainment, great lounges, bars and restaurants to spend our PERS retirement checks.

Anonymous said...

Capital goes where it is appreciated. Fact.

Anonymous said...

Y’all are missing the obvious. The wealthy are fleeing taxes. What do most of those southern states have in common?

Anonymous said...

@12:35 - yes, those leaders in the 70's and 80's didn't want the 'yankee dollars' here to compete for the available labor; was glad for them to bring their cut-and-sew jobs and other low wage production, but didn't want the corporate offices or high-end manufacturing.

Let's see; who were those forward-looking leaders during those years?

Bill Waller
William Winter
Ray Mabus
Dick Molpus

All folks who some (particularly the media, what's left of it) want to hereald as the good guys and that we need to return to their leadership and ditch their replacements.

And yes, they were the ones that led the state's decline in population to lose a congressional seat in 2000 as Crawford notes; they also led us to lose a congressional seat following the 1970 census.

There was no such potential as Crawford implies (carefully skirting his words so he could make it seem true when it wasn't) in 2020 - Mississippi wasn't one of the states on the bubble.

But I digress - sometimes I'm amazed at how Crawford can find something every week that is "bad" and he can find some way (at least in his thinking) to tie it to Tate Reeves. Nice try this time Crawford, but this time you missed even further than your normal attack.

Anonymous said...

"Where are all the huge corporations that were ready to do business in Mississippi, once that flag was changed?"

Good question. It sounded like bullshit then, and nothing has changed my mind after all these years of no improvement.

Both of my kids finished their education, got married, and the couples now live in St. Louis or Atlanta. None of them are planning to return.

Anonymous said...

Loosen the restrictions on abortion (16 weeks) and legalize cannabis, and the economy and population will mushroom.

Anonymous said...

5:51- Yeah. That will fix everything. Bunch of dopes up single moms.


Bahahahahahhahaha.

Genius.

Anonymous said...

The "Wealth Migration' would never come to Mississippi without the perception that Mississippi was/is amenable to change. The poor people might be, but the rich and powerful of this state never give that perception. At least not enough for Eastern or Northern money to move here. So why come to such a place? It's a rural plantation state stuck in it's ways. It's not worth the fight when other places were much more accommodating.

Anonymous said...

Its OUR fault. We the people keep electing the same politicians every four years. Example, Tater will be elected, then Delbert will be the Governor for eight years, the same old representatives and senators will be re-elected and nothing will change. This cycle repeats itself over and over again, then we complain.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi is a welfare state. Most of its population only worried about getting free shit from the gubmint, not working for anything. Truth hurts but it’s plain to see all over the state.

Anonymous said...

The Peter Principle in Jackson is a move from a deep fryer to the drive through window. This is why Jackson has no future, unless outside influences buy real estate and raze every building in sight. The map must be redrawn from the ground up. If there are no houses there won’t be a need for schools. Where will they all go? I don’t care, but they won’t be able to afford property in a Jackson that is rebuilding with a population of 30,000 citizens. Tear it all down and start anew.

Anonymous said...

What amazes me is that anyone reads his, or Sid’s, two-bit trash, and waste time commenting.

Anonymous said...

3:20 pm, YES, a very true statement and explanation. But to those that are still battling the battle flag, they aren't open to listening to anything.

Frankly I find it hard to understand how a flag, any flag, could incite the kind of continued bitterness that this issue does.

The "i want to vote' crowd is similar to those that are arguing against HB1020 when they are complaining that they 'want to vote' for their judges. But I will bet $100 to a donut hole that none of the first group is also a member of the second group.

And neither group offers a reasonable argument for their position; unlike your post.

But, we have to live with both of us surrounding reasonable people trying to make our state better

Anonymous said...

324, you are so correct on the need to establish choice and vouchers - but you are wrong to place the blame as you did.

Bills for this were introduced into the legislature recently, and supported by Reeves and much of the leadership.

BUT, the bill could not pass through the legislature, largely due to not getting the support of Republican members (check the vote records, take particular look at the Senators and Reps from MADISON COUNTY, where the local school officials pressured them to vote against the bill.(

Maybe the blame needs to be laid at the feet of the REPUBLICAN SENATORS and REPUBLICAN REPRESENTATIVES that voted against the bill, not against the Governor that supported it and would have signed it if the legislature had ever sent it to his desk.

And, while at it, why did the Senate Leadership not pressure those members to get the bill across the mark as they do most bills that are of interest to them?

Inqiring minds want to know.

Anonymous said...

I come here to be reminded why I left Missippi! No Regrets!

Anonymous said...

No jobs in missup

Anonymous said...

@8:04, feel better?

Anonymous said...

Jackson residents attempting to guilt the suburbs into saving Jackson (via unknown origins since we don't vote there) while watching Jackson leaders actively campaign against HB 1020 might be the opening scene of our very own Idiocracy Mississippi Movie.

Anonymous said...

"The "Wealth Migration' would never come to Mississippi without the perception that Mississippi was/is amenable to change. The poor people might be, but the rich and powerful of this state never give that perception. At least not enough for Eastern or Northern money to move here. So why come to such a place? It's a rural plantation state stuck in it's ways. It's not worth the fight when other places were much more accommodating."
July 16, 2023 at 7:40 PM

"Its OUR fault. We the people keep electing the same politicians every four years. Example, Tater will be elected, then Delbert will be the Governor for eight years, the same old representatives and senators will be re-elected and nothing will change. This cycle repeats itself over and over again, then we complain."
July 16, 2023 at 8:03 PM

"Mississippi is a welfare state. Most of its population only worried about getting free shit from the gubmint, not working for anything. Truth hurts but it’s plain to see all over the state."
July 16, 2023 at 8:21 PM

These three comments pretty well describe the situation, with one change: SOME of the "poor" might be amenable to change, but a lot of Mississippians, "poor" and "wealthy" (see below) alike, and of all skin color, are stuck in the cycle of multi-generational "free shit" and have refused any and every opportunity to change thus far. Yes, there should be programs to truly help out "poor" folks in real need, especially kids. But until many are willing (or forced) to exchange "free shit" for "earned shit," and that includes the "wealthy" who became so by sucking on government tits and gorging in government-filled troughs, change is going to be impossible. The whole "plantation" mentality needs to go. The Civil War ended over 150 years ago, as did slavery, even if racism of all types and by whites and blacks alike persists in many ways.

Today's black folks aren't entitled to "free shit" because of slavery (or racism) and today's white folks aren't entitled to "free shit" because great-great-great granddaddy owned black folks (or their daddy was a champion tits-and-trough man). Everyone should be allowed to earn as much as their honest work will produce. If they are willing to work harder or smarter than others, they are entitled to the greater fruits that it produces.

And anyone caught stealing public money, whether thousands or millions, ought to be put in prison, whether they are a black county employee, a white ex-governor, athlete of whatever level of fame, or anything else. Lady Justice has worn a blindfold for over 300 years for a very good reason (actually, she has worn one for nearly 500 years, but the original reason quickly morphed into the higher ideal).

Anonymous said...

Jackson MS had great potential, DGNB, Trustmark, WorldCom, C-spire, skytel and and bunch of other large to mid size national and international corporations. DGNB sold itself to First American, what a joke, only the CEO and upper executives made out on that one. Everyone else got the shaft. Worldcom took a header due to Executive malfeasance. Several other large and mid size businesses left downtown due to acquisitions in the 90s. Those acquisitions took the life out of downtown. Most of the Large international CPA firms, Arthur Anderson, KPMG, all had a presence downtown, the large national Law firms had a presence up through the 90 and early 2000s. Due to the size and type of businesses that called Jackson Home. The large Jackson companies, were just the right size for some larger company to acquire and move the headquarters elsewhere. There wasn't an up and coming company that was able to take these companies place. Saw many an employee, walk out of DGNB Plaza, with their boxes of stuff heading off to greener pastures in Texas, North Carolina, Florida and elsewhere. Now Jackson is just a shell of itself, run by a incompetent crook that tells the population that the boogy man is behind the tree.

Anonymous said...

@11:48 pm: "Frankly I find it hard to understand how a flag, any flag, could incite the kind of continued bitterness that this issue does."

Then we could just change it back to what it was before and y'all new flaggers won't be bitter; right?

Anonymous said...

Mississippi is held back because we have no viable metro area. Jackson is too small and too poorly managed.
The rural areas of Georgia and North Carolina are like the rural areas of Mississippi. It’s the urban areas that cause the difference.

Jackson is the weight holding Mississippi down, and the Left wants to keep it that way rather that getting help from the State and sharing just a little bit of power.

It’s not about the people of Jackson, it’s about the politics and the power to control the contracts.

Anonymous said...

Until Mississippi (Jackson, in particular) experiences a CULTURAL change away from the Baltimore/New Orleans/St. Louis/Detroit/Philadelphia/Chicago model, just continue to enjoy the ride to the bottom.

Change my mind.........

Anonymous said...

10:29 Right. No more bitter than a large segment of New York would be if they put a swastika in the canton of the New York State Flag. At least Mississippi would not be the only state intent on pissing off half it's population. Why not keep a new flag which is non-offensive? Let's move on.

Anonymous said...

But @1:08, that's what you fail to see and understand: Your "non-offensive" flag is offensive to more than half its population. Just because it's "non-offensive" to you, all broadminded and cosmopolitan, will never mean it's not unoffensive to everyone or even most folks. Put it to a vote and see what happens.

Anonymous said...

4:11 PM, the flag was not offensive to more then half of the population.
Remember we did have an election that proved that.

Anonymous said...

mississippi is exactly where it wants to be. i'm not a native, but love living here!

i have a great job-one i could not have gotten in any other state. the low cost of living is making sure i have plenty of savings to follow my child where she goes after finishing college. (and her college cost is LOW LOW LOW! MC. private school. cheaper than most state universities across the country...). we have good restaurants, museums, arts that don't cost your entire paycheck. i can even shop at whole foods and not spend it all! had I stayed in the northeast corridor, i would be struggling to pay my bills, with a half broken down 10/15 year old car (buy one every 5 here..) and probably having 3 jobs to hold everything together.

no thanks. I choose to be a well educated great job holder here. i can afford to fly where i want to travel. going back to London soon... life is great!

Anonymous said...

"we have good restaurants, museums, arts"

Ah, yes. Now that Thomas Keller and Daniel Boulud (Robert St. John wannabes better known outside of MS) have teamed up to open their new "Big Dan's Jackson Laundry and Drive-In" and are offering prima del teatro (that's Eye-talian for you peasants) suppers, what were merely wonderful evenings partaking of the world-renowned Jackson Symphony and Ballet have been transformed into something magical! Often, we will drop by the Jackson Louvre for a pre-supper cocktail amongst the masterpieces. Pro tip: the Ripple and Sterno cocktail is your pick here - pimento-cheese-crammed-into-chitlins garnish - YUMMMMMM! And the hand-chipped ice is made with 100% JXN Water! I must say, doing so turns the magical into a literal Nirvana on earth.

And we only have to dodge random gunfire on 8 or maybe 9 evenings out of 10.

Anonymous said...

"Put it to a vote and see what happens. "

Uh, we did that a few years ago. Try and keep up. All the wonderful things we were promised if we'd change the flag - where are they?

Anonymous said...

8:39 Somebody promised you something to change the flag? You must be a great negotiator. No wonder Mississippi won the Civil War.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish and Gallo led the charge to change the flag. Does that say enough?

You know...'Two peas...'

Kingfish said...

I did?

Where exactly did I take a position one way or the other?

Anonymous said...

We let our Capital rot as a testament to our hard-headedness.

Who would come here over literally anywhere else?



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.