Wednesday, July 12, 2023

Robert St. John: Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

“The best things in life come from patience.” – Author Unknown

As a kid I grew up across the street from a house on a lake. It was in the middle of town and the property sat on 40 acres. I thought it was cool that someone could live in a neighborhood on a lake. I set a personal goal for myself that one day I would have a house on a lake.




A dozen or so years ago I bought property on a lake and hoped to build a house there one day. Those plans never came to fruition for several reasons and I eventually sold the property. After six decades on this planet, it was beginning to look that childhood dream and goal of one day having a house on a lake was never going to be realized. Then an opportunity arose last year, and I purchased a house on a lake. I can't remember if I set a date and time to reach that childhood goal. Maybe I told myself I would like to own a house on a lake before I turn 60. If that's the case, I missed it by a few months.

There are several times in my life in which I've waited, for whatever reason, before pulling the trigger on something. Years ago, when a friend would tell me about the hot musical band of the moment I typically didn't feed into the fervor, and usually chose to wait a year or two before getting into the music. I was a late comer to cell phones. I can remember sometime in the late 80s telling someone, “If I'm driving and really need to make a call that badly, I will pull over and use the pay phone at a gas station.” It also took me a long time to buy a fax machine. I used the one at my accountant’s office for the first three years I was in business.

The past several years I've had friends trying to talk me into buying a Blackstone Grill. They have enthusiastically sung the praises of that piece of cooking equipment. I wasn’t interested as it seemed like nothing more than a big flat-top griddle. When I cook a steak, I want it to be grilled over wood or charcoal because fat dripping on coals creates the best aroma and flavor in grilled meats. Cooking a steak on a flat top griddle is something that has never appealed to me. However, hamburgers and hot dogs are a different thing altogether, and faced with a lot of guests at a lake house I thought the purchase would be a good idea. It has worked well. I cooked hamburgers and hot dogs for a few dozen people on 4th of July weekend.

This weekend I used the Blackstone grill in a different method as I cooked my family's entire breakfast on it yesterday morning.

There are the five zones on the 36-inch surface where I can regulate the heat. I cooked bacon first. Once the bacon was fully cooked, I cooked cubed potatoes in the rendered bacon grease. Then, on the free side of the cook top, I cooked my grandmother's pancake recipe. I'm not sure if the Blackstone saved any time but it's certainly saved on the cleanup. A cast iron cooking surface is easy to clean if one knows how to maintain it.

My grandmother— a lady who was a master of the cast iron skillet— could have never dreamed that her pancake recipe would one day be cooked outdoors on such a large piece of equipment. She would have likely found it a complete waste of money, and she would have probably been right.

I spent the entire day at the lake. I rarely do that. Typically, I get up early in the morning, drive into town, and start my day at table 19 in the breakfast restaurant. This day I skipped church and laid around the lake house most of the day. The next sentence I'm about to type is probably going to be unbelievable for some but it's a true statement. The number of bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches I have eaten in my life could be counted on one hand. It's true. I am a latecomer to this staple of the southern larder, but the fact that I'm a neophyte does not exclude my passion— or opinion— on how to make a proper BLT.

To my taste the perfect BLT depends on the correct ratio of ingredients. Bacon must be the star of the show, and the bacon must be crisp. Many favor tomato over bacon, I am not one of those proponents, even when the best heirloom tomatoes are available in the summer. I agree that the tomato must be of high quality, but to my thinking, much of the flavor comes from bacon. 

The tomato comes second. It adds brightness, a little sweetness, and acidity to the flavor profile. But the sandwich only needs two layers of quarter-inch thick-sliced tomatoes. 

Mayonnaise is a key player, and this is where most of the contention with my cohorts comes these days. I am a Blue Plate mayonnaise devotee. It's what I grew up with, and it's what I still use today. Its origins are from New Orleans and the company is still located in New Orleans. I know the Riley family. They are great people, and we also use their iced tea in our restaurants. 

Several years ago, Dukes mayonnaise started growing from a local Carolina concern to a national player. I understand, it's the mayonnaise of the moment. Several of my well known chef friends tout its tanginess. I respect them and their taste, but I'm still a Blue Plate man, and on my BLT, I spread it liberally on both sides of the bread.

When it comes to bread there is another point of contention with BLT enthusiasts, and it’s whether to toast the bread or not. If I'm making a Turkey sandwich the day after Thanksgiving, I am pretty much making a BLT and adding turkey, but I toast the bread. My summer BLT does not get toasted. That goes against everything else I believe in flavor profiles and textures as I almost always come down on the side of toasted bread adding texture to a sandwich. For some reason the BLT— my BLT— is best untoasted. 

Bread variety adds another point of controversy. Some want straight white bread, others opt for whole grain. I’m a wheat bread guy, but untoasted.

Lettuce is of the least concern when it comes to a BLT. I don't want iceberg and would prefer something to add another flavor component, but lettuce is not the star, or even the co-star, of the show. It's one of the cast of characters that appears at the tail end of the credits.

As always, salt and pepper are vital. I salt and pepper the mayonnaise after it’s been spread on both sides of the bread and I salt and pepper the tomatoes, too. This step should never be overlooked.

I typically eat a sandwich with some type of chip, applesauce, or pickles on the side. When it comes to pickles I go for Wickles (If you haven’t tried Wickles, what are you doing with your life?). In my world, the BLT stands alone. I don’t need chips or pickles. I can just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of it without accompaniment.

I wish my grandmother knew how many people love her pancake recipe and how many thousands of people have been preparing it since I've been writing about it over the past 25 years. I wish I would have eaten BLTs when my other grandmother was making them on so many Saturday afternoons.

Pancakes have been a mainstay of my life. BLTs are a latecomer. To enjoy both on one lazy day made me miss loved ones who have passed on, but also made me appreciate the culinary legacy I inherited. In the end, I guess we’re never too old to start something new. Some things just take time.

Onward. 


Zucchini-Squash Casserole

 

2 TBL olive oil

1 1/2 pounds yellow squash, cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes

1 1/2 pounds zucchini, cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes

1 tsp salt

2 tsp Creole Seasoning

 

2 TBL unsalted butter

1/2 cup yellow onion, small dice

1/4 cup red bell pepper, small dice

1/4 cup celery, small dice

2 tsp fresh garlic, minced

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

1/4 cup green onions, sliced thinly

1 TBL fresh basil, chopped

1/2 cup sour cream 

3/4 cup smoked cheddar or provolone cheese, shredded

 

1 cups coarse unseasoned bread crumbs

1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated

1/4 cup fresh chopped parsley

2 TBL melted butter

 

Preheat oven to 400.

Toss the olive oil, cut squashes, first teaspoon of salt, and Creole seasoning in a large mixing bowl. Spread the squash onto a large baking pan and roast in the oven for 15 minutes. Remove the squash from the oven and place it into a colander. Gently press the squash to remove as much excess moisture as possible.

While the squash is roasting, melted the butter over a medium heat in a small sauté pan. Add the yellow onion, red bell pepper and celery and cook for 2-3 minutes. Add in the garlic, salt, pepper and green onions and cook for 3 more minutes.

Place the cooked squash, the onion mixture, fresh basil, sour cream and cheddar cheese and in a large mixing bowl. Use a rubber spatula or wooden spoon to gently fold the mixture together until the sour cream has been incorporate well. Lower the oven to 325.

Place squash mixture into a 2 quart baking dish.

Combine the bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, parsley and melted butter and top the casserole evenly. Bake for 20 minutes.

 

Yield: 8-10 servings




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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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