Monday, April 27, 2020

It's Monday Night!

Warning: Not safe for kids!!!

Not the Four Horsemen, NWO, Million Dollar Mooch, Hulkamania, or even Andre came close to what you are going to see below.   Clue: King Cobra bites wrassler.  This took place on a Saturday morning right up against the cartoons. Bugs Bunny had nothing on this. It was so scary it ruined a whole generation of kids. Kids were literally crying.  Enjoy.

Jake the Snake told the rather humorous backstory on Joe Rogan's podcast.  Don't have a drink in your mouth while listening.


Anonymous said...

Wow! That got my attention!

Anonymous said...

This is trash!!!

Anonymous said...

Panem Et Circenses is again the tonic for relieving impatience and distrust of government.

Anon-E-Mouse said...

I have a big admiration for these men. Other than shooting up steroids, they are finely tuned athletes with the grace of a ballerina. The choreography going on for these events is awesome.

Thanks for the post and laughs.

Anonymous said...

the snake was devenomized.

Anonymous said...

If I live to be 142, I will never understand the allure of this crap.You people must have had damn boring childhoods.

Anonymous said...

I love watching their smack talking interviews from the 1980s. The ones before and after matches. You can tell the cocaine flowed free back then. Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man would be bug eyed and talking 90 words a second. You just knew.

Anonymous said...

Senator Macho Man. The Mississippi GOP is salivating at the thought and already shifting our budget around to get that man some money.

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen that many kids cry since Haley Barbour chaired the Childhood Obesity "Scared Straight" program.

Anonymous said...

This was the great old days of pro wrestling. Nobody cared about the matches. It was always the interviews and side shows that kept our attention. And then you tuned in for the next 10 weeks to see the soap opera. Vince McMahon was a marketing genius

Anonymous said...

@8:44, tell us what high class entertainment filled your childhood? Ballet? Coin collecting? Torah study?

Anonymous said...

Love WWE, but many great memories from WCW’s Monday Nitros in the ‘90s! Underrated!

Anonymous said...

@10:41 - any of those would have been better than watching fat dudes in tights jump on each other.

Anonymous said...

112, absolutely agree.

It would be true for back then, and its true today. Anybody that can find entertainment in this crap is really hurting for something to do.

Anonymous said...

Entertainment is in eye of the beholder. Never believed wrestling for a moment but enjoyed the speechless immensely whether in person or on TV. Some people enjoy rotund performers singing opera in a language they don’t understand others a hip hop concert in an urban language they barely understand. I used to go to nickel beer night at the armory and later quarter beer at the coliseum. Thousands of Mississippians from young to old would show up and love it. Little old ladies would knit tights for their hero and spew venom at their enemies all while knowing it was no more real than their soap operas. Lighten up - people are entertained by the most inane things. You are no better because you love Shakespeare and Pavarotti. It’s all escapism.

Anonymous said...

Mississippians choose their political leaders like the choose their WWE heroes and get the government that they deserve from city hall to the White House.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS