Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Here Comes the Gov....

This dude is going to be your next Governor.  Book it!


Anonymous said...

Where do I send the check.
Signed, a concerned citizen

Anonymous said...

Dear God,

Please forgive my parents for raising me here. They did the best they could.


MS regrets

Cynical Sam said...

He will get a lot of votes from the free shit crowd. He needs to add free "grills," iPhone X, 40s, and wheels, and then he is a shoo-in.

Anonymous said...

will he build a road to dogwood from my neighborhood?

Anonymous said...

one of the greatest things i have ever seen.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

If you live in a county where you have to cross over and vote democrat in the primary in order to have any say in things (think Hinds), throw a vote to this guy. This would be funnier than the truck driver.

Anonymous said...

Team up with Stokes for Lt. governor. They would be a elected for sure.

The Rent is Too Damn High said...

I can't wait to wobble to the polls to vote for this guy!

Anonymous said...

For a second I thought it was the "Pants on the Ground" guy. I like his moxie, he's got my vote!

Anonymous said...

Actually, if this guy were elected, the image of the state of Mississippi nationally would not change. Might even be better than Tater. (for image)

Anonymous said...

No difference in him and the front runner Democrat, Hood. Give anything and everything, no problem. Following the lead of the Dandy Double Dozen Democratic candidates for President.

Birds of a feather

Anonymous said...

No but seriously, how long until Democrats just start flashing actual dollar amount graphics in their ads as a matter of course? Like "cash back" in used car ads?

My opponent promises free health care and college, but I'm guaranteeing you all that plus a check for (distorted bass voice kicks in) TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Anonymous said...

After all that, why just make weed a misdemeanor? Legalize it and put all that rich Delta soil to work growing something that will really sell.

Anonymous said...

I really cannot believe that I just saw such an ad. I’m just a little speechless at the moment.

Anonymous said...

I think those graphics were stolen from Samwell’s “ What what in the butt”

Cynical Sam said...

Tomorrow governor, then U.S. senator. Go Mr. Gregory!

Anonymous said...

Not much worse than Tate’s ads. Certainly more entertaining. Tate’s campaign should have known that the average voter doesn’t really “know” the candidate. The current ads just don’t seem to be very effective. If Waller only had the funds we would have a race.

Anonymous said...

Waller either has mild Parkinson’s or early onset dementia. He isn’t fit.

Anonymous said...

there is no difference between him and any other democrat or republican. ANY one of them that gets elected will just be another puppet. This guy will not accomplish any of the ridiculous sounding bullshit he promises. NOR will any other accomplish any of the great sounding promises he/she makes. ANYONE who believes ANY candidate will do ANYTHING truly positive for Mississippi has his/her head up his/her ass. Look at the facts, forget your brainwashed party loyalty and accept the glaringly obvious truth. Whether you are democrat or republican, liberal or conservative, If you have put any hope in any democrat or republican candidate, then you have been and will ALWAYS be sorely disappointed. BOTH parties and their puppet candidates are conspiring behind the scenes to screw us all. If you refuse to see the truth for what it is, then are just deeply brainwashed and have fallen for the trap that has been set for you by the fake two-party system and that single group behind the scenes that control BOTH parties equally.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS