Wednesday, January 21, 2026

Robert St. John: The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

There was a kid from my hometown who had it all figured out at twenty-one. Charm, dreams, a family who loved him. He was also speeding down 4th Street at 90 miles per hour with his headlights off and three police cars in pursuit.

That was May 25, 1983.

I know this kid well. Knew him, anyway. He thought he was invincible. He thought he was smarter than everyone in the room. He thought the rules were suggestions written for others. In short, he was a twenty-one-year-old male, which is to say he had the wisdom of a golden retriever and the confidence of a dictator.

The blue lights caught up. Don’t they always?

He spent that night on the cold concrete floor of the Forrest County jail. Scared. Alone. The fluorescent lights buzzed all night. No pillow. No blanket. Just a twenty-one-year-old kid who had finally run out of road.

That kid was me.

I woke up to a life in pieces, and the next day found myself in a rehab facility in Jackson. Then a halfway house in Omaha. Two thousand miles from everything I knew, surrounded by strangers who understood me better than anyone back home ever had.




One of those strangers was a halfway house counselor with a sixth-grade education. On paper, he had no business telling anyone how to live. In reality, he turned out to be one of the wisest men I've ever known. He didn't lecture. He didn't preach. He just sat down across from me one afternoon—I was three months sober, still scared, still certain I could figure out how to drink like a normal person—looked me in the eye, and said eight words: "You never have to live that way again.”

I didn't believe him. But I heard him.

That man literally saved my life.

I don't share this story to impress anyone. There's nothing impressive about a DUI, a wrecked life, homelessness, and a family left wondering what went wrong.

My father died when I was six years old. My mother raised my brother and me on a public school art teacher's salary. I was no cakewalk. Looking back, I don't know how she did it. And I spent those years before the DUI making her life harder in ways that still sting when I think about them. Her face when she visited me in rehab is something I carry with me still. The fear. The grief. The love she couldn't turn off no matter how hard I'd made it.

I share this story because that night—that mess, that bottom—turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

Forty-three years ago, this May.

In the early days of sobriety, I just tried not to drink. That was the whole job. Wake up, don't drink, go to meetings, go to bed, repeat. Before I got clean, I was resigned to the fact that I likely wasn't going to live to see 30. But the truth is, the way I was living, I likely wouldn't have seen 25. I didn't have grand visions of restaurants or books or newspaper columns. I didn't dream of traveling the world or raising a family or starting a nonprofit. I was just trying to survive until the next day.

I learned to tell the truth—first to myself, then to others. I learned that ego had been running the show for years, and ego makes a lousy driver. I learned that life is problems, and a successful life is problems well handled. Not avoided. Not outsmarted. Handled. Most importantly, I learned to let God run my life. He does a far better job than I ever did. His will, not mine.

After I got sober, I did my best to make amends for the harm I'd caused in those early years. I'm still doing it. I'm committed to my family above all else—except the recovery that makes me capable of being there for them in the first place. Without that, I'm no good to anyone.

Over the years, I've hired hundreds of people in recovery. Dishwashers, line cooks, servers, managers. One was a doctor—a surgeon, actually—who had lost everything and needed a place to start over. He washed dishes in one of my restaurants while he rebuilt his life. Watching him find his footing reminded me why any of this matters.

My children grew up with a father who was present, sober, imperfect, but there. That's not nothing. For a kid who figured he'd be dead by 25, it's everything.

I wish someone had told me back in 1983, "Robert, sit down and make a list of what you think your best life could be going forward. Dream big. Dream bigger than anything you could imagine. Relationships. Purpose. Peace. Write it all down—the wildest, most impossible things you can picture for yourself."

If I had, I would have undershot it. Every single line.

And I’m not talking about material things and monetary things. I’m talking about the things that truly matter— the relational things and the spiritual things. 


That's not bragging. That's gratitude.

I don't take credit for any of it. The principles I followed weren't my invention. The people who guided me showed up when I couldn't find my own way. And there's a power greater than me— God— who did the heavy lifting when I finally got out of the way.

I still make a mental gratitude list. Every morning. Some days the list is long. Some days it's short—family, breath, sobriety, another chance. But the practice keeps me grounded. Keeps me from forgetting where I came from.

Because I remember that kid on 4th Street. Lights off. Ninety miles per hour. Running from himself.

He wasn't free. He was trapped. Trapped by a bottle, by drugs, by his own ego, by the lie that pleasure was the same as happiness. It took a cold jail floor, a rehab bed, and a halfway house two thousand miles from home to show him another way.

If you're reading this and you're struggling—with a bottle, with a pill, with whatever has its hooks in you—there's help. The national helpline is 1-800-662-4357. They answer twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If you call them and don't like what they have to say, call me. I'm serious. 601-270-7129. Fair warning—if it's 2 a.m. and you're three sheets to the wind, I'll ask you to call back in the morning when your head is clear. But call back. I don't mind talking to people who are struggling. I've spent over four decades doing it. People were there for me when I needed them. People are still there for me. That's how it works. You keep what you have by giving it away.

And that kid who thought he'd never see 30? He's 64 now. Married. Father. Grandfather to the best dog on the planet—a title I award with complete objectivity and zero bias. He's written fifteen books and over 1,300 newspaper columns without missing a single week. Though to be fair, some of those columns were about bacon, so the bar for profundity was not always high. He's watched his son become a chef and his daughter become a talented designer.

He's grateful. Every single morning.

That's the whole story. Not the success—the gratitude. Not the accomplishments—the people. Not what I gathered—what I gave away. I give credit where credit is due: To God, my friends in recovery, and the principles we follow.

Forty-three years ago, I was racing toward oblivion with my headlights off.

Today, I can see the road.

Onward.



Potato Gratin

Potatoes are the one vegetable I could never give up. Fried, roasted, mashed, or scalloped—doesn’t matter, they’re always on the table in one form or another. This gratin is my favorite way to make them feel a little more special. It’s rich, creamy, and just decadent enough to make it feel like you’re putting in some extra effort.

There’s a good bit of cheese in this recipe, but that’s exactly how it should be. The combination of sharp white Cheddar, gruyere, and Parmesan gives it the perfect balance of nuttiness, creaminess, and tang. And using Yukon gold potatoes instead of russets makes a big difference. They have just the right amount of starch to get creamy without getting mushy. This dish is a showstopper on the holiday table, but I’d eat it on a random Tuesday without hesitation.

Serves 8 to 10

Preheat oven to 375° F.

Ingredients
2 tablespoons unsalted butter plus a little to butter the baking dish and parchment paper
1 small yellow onion, halved and very thinly sliced, about 1 cup
2 teaspoons fresh garlic, minced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons vegetable seasoning (see recipe page ***)
2 cups Bechamel sauce (see recipe page ***)
1 cup heavy whipping cream
4 ounces sharp white Cheddar cheese, shredded, about 1 cup
4 ounces Gruyere cheese, shredded, about 1 cup
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
3 1/2 pounds Yukon gold potatoes, washed and patted dry

In a large skillet over medium heat, melt the butter. Stir in the sliced onion and sauté for four to five minutes, until the onions have wilted. Stir in the garlic, salt, and vegetable seasoning, and continue cooking for one minute.

Whisk in the Bechamel sauce and heavy cream and bring to a boil. Remove from the heat and stir in the white Cheddar, Gruyere, and half of the Parmesan. Hold the sauce warm while slicing the potatoes.

Lightly butter a 9x13 casserole dish. Using a mandolin or very sharp knife, slice the potatoes into 1/4-inch circles.

Spread a thin layer of the sauce on the base of the casserole dish. Shingle a layer of potatoes atop the sauce. Add another layer of sauce, spreading evenly to coat the potatoes. Continue this process, making sure to reserve enough sauce for the top layer.

Sprinkle the top with the remaining Parmesan cheese.

Cut a piece of parchment paper large enough to cover the surface of the casserole dish. Lightly butter the side to be placed on the potatoes. Secure the parchment by wrapping the dish in aluminum foil. Pierce the surface of the foil four to five times with a sharp knife.

Place the casserole on the center rack of the oven and bake for 35 minutes. Remove the foil and continue cooking for 15 to 20 minutes, until the potatoes are fork-tender.

Remove from the oven and let rest for 20 minutes before serving.

  


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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