Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Senate Kills PERS Bill (Updated)

Lieutenant Governor Responds 

Speaker of the House Jason White issued the following statement. 

With the passing of Committee deadline today, I am disappointed to learn of the Mississippi Senate’s inaction on HB 1590, the PERS bill which in no way changed or modified retiree benefits but restructured the board and rescinded the scheduled employer's contribution increase.

Refusing to address the employer’s contribution increase, as recently enacted by the PERS board, will have serious ramifications for our state, our city and county governments, and school districts, potentially resulting in historical tax increases by cities and counties. Over the next 3 years, and the foreseeable future if no action is taken, the proposed 5-10% increase requested to fund PERS will also have the effect of limiting government services, and eliminating state and local government employees.

The Lt. Governor and Senate’s failure to address the long-term sustainability of our state’s retirement program is irresponsible to not only PERS retirees and participants in the system but Mississippi taxpayers. All parties have acknowledged that there is a $25 billion unfunded liability that is growing every day. The Mississippi House of Representatives understands the plan will require increases in contributions, but without needed reform, no amount of taxpayer dollars will cover the deficit. Unlike Washington, state and local governments can’t print money – budgets must be balanced, which will mean making hard decisions.

I applaud my House colleagues for being willing to confront and tackle this issue and in doing so, standing up for Mississippi taxpayers. My hope is to work together to craft viable solutions so we can keep our promise to meet financial obligations to PERS current and future retirees while keeping all Mississippi taxpayers in mind. 


Update: Lieutenant Governor Delbert Hosemann issued the following statement in response to Speaker White: 

The PERS system’s long-term viability continues to be a serious concern. The Senate and the House need to work together to find a solution. Transparency and trust, from both the Legislature and retirees and employees, will be critical for us to move forward. The Senate is committed to protecting retiree and current employee benefits while balancing the budget.


Kingfish note: Start at 5:00.  Senate Government Structure Committee Chairman Chris Johnson totally punted on the issue.  He asked the PERS Board of Trustees to rescind the 2% contribution rate hike scheduled for later this year as he killed the bill.   The video is only four minutes as he made short work of HB #1590.  


68 comments:

Anonymous said...

Old heads in PERS actually buying that the board members (who they have no idea who they are) are being truthful that they are doing great and there is nothing to see here? Just pass the buck on people who are actually talking about the problem? That took guts in my opinion and I am in pers , I want it to be around for my family when I check out.

Anonymous said...

As a current PERS retiree I too want the system to remain viable. There is no way any of our elected representatives will recommend any changes to PERS. Their only goal is to be re-elected or elected to higher office. With that being said, the PERS board will have to recommend changes for the legislature to approve in order to give the representatives political cover.
To start, changes need to be made that affect future retirees in order to give those affected time to plan. Along with that the State should provide a cash infusion, again giving the representatives political cover. Continue to tweak the system in hopes of bringing about stability. The last resort should be doing anything to affect current retirees, many of us in our 70s & 80s, past our working years.
Certainly as a current retiree I don’t want any changes to my situation as I made plans long ago based on what I was told in regards to my benefits. However, if all other options fail I would prefer some reduction in benefits versus no benefits at all. I hope those whose job it is to manage PERS will have the courage to work towards the goal of keeping PERS financially healthy.

Anonymous said...

Kicking the can down the road; one legislative session at a time.

Anonymous said...

Exactly how would the restructuring of the board help? Bringing politics to the board only helps those making the appointments. Pull the covers back on the IHL and see how great these political appointees have performed. Present structure of the PERS board is not ideal, but the proposal brings no value.

Saltwaterpappy said...

PERS is just another example of the failure of socialism in a capitalistic economy. It's "okay until you run out of other people's money." I'm afraid that Social Security and Medicare are going to be next.

Anonymous said...

@6:08 Here Here! Bill LaForge cough cough. Single handily ruined Delta State.

Back to the PERs elected board of thieves.

Anonymous said...

Raid the higher education system and consolidate the secondary system. We don't need CC presidents making a quarter million and superintendents make close to $200 grand. Both system of filled with USELESS fat.

Anonymous said...

Cash everyone out to a 457 plan and close it down.

Problem fixed.

Anonymous said...



We have met the enemy and he is us.

Anonymous said...

All non-governmental defined benefit plans go bust. PERS will go bust because there are too many people under 50 double-dipping. How about keep benefits same but kill retirement for anyone under 57.5. That's how they fix social security. State retirees are arguing for their own demise and can't see it.

Anonymous said...

Since the day this bill was dropped nobody in the legislature has given one intelligible , sensible reason as to why they think restructuring of the PERS Board would be of any positive benefit whatsoever. The PERS rate of returns are transparently published every year and they outperform the vast majority of similar size retirement funds. Not even the wonderful Speaker of the House can give an intelligible answer to that question. This brings us to the crux of the matter which is what is the true agenda . Possibly to transfer the management[fees] over to their "friends " Regardless of whether you were for this bill or against the facts are indisputable and PUBLISHED and transparent. This funds rate of return is good and cannot be made SIGNIFICANTLY better by anyone. The other inconvenient truth is that legislators already hold all the power and all the authority to modify PERS regardless of who is on the PERS board. Last point - WHY DOESNT Speaker White and his band of political experts put forward his IDEAS AND HIS PLAN. He does not have to wait on the board, the legislature forms committees and hires outside consultants don't they ?? Follow the money and thank God for the adult in the room-Delbert Hosemann.

Anonymous said...

Well, the only reason the Speaker of the House, Jason White, can sit back and bad mouth the Senate is because he and his minions snuck this amended piece of legislation out under the cover of darkness. A late amendment put in place on an afternoon during Spring Break week.

He couldn’t handle the pressure, so he kicked it to the Senate.

Anonymous said...

7:14
You’re full of shit , this has been talked about for the last 3 years in the House and that’s a fact!

Anonymous said...

So when will Captain Courageous Jason White and his band of " courageous " House members publish their innovative plans and ideas to strengthen PERS. When will they inform the public as to what financial managers and advisors have measurable track records of better financial management .When will they " courageously" offer anything other than the profound statement" we just need more eyes on it". Waiting ...............

Anonymous said...

Would doing away with the 13th payment bring stability to this system?

Anonymous said...

@ 7:02 "Follow the money and thank God for the adult in the room-Delbert Hosemann."

If you are serious, this is the only issue in which Delbert is the "adult in the room". He has gone from being a well intentioned good guy to a politician - and I liked the good guy much better than the politician.

Anonymous said...

PERS member and I know changes need to be made. However, using false pretenses to change the board from one elected by stakeholders to political appointees isn't the solution. Not surprisingly, bad information was spread and the House doesn't like it that their narrative didn't hold up in the hearing. The rate of return isn't the issue- it's higher than most. The board is not full of ignorant hayseeds that don't know what is going on. Contrary the board is well educated and many have finance backgrounds and experience. The board has been communicating this increase for several years. The legislature could choose to put funds into the system from the rainy day fund, or stop giving tax breaks to corporations, or stop trying to do away with the income tax until this is resolved. It's hard to get people to come to the table when you lie to your constituents. They got caught. Don't pass bills one afternoon during Spring Break. Be transparent.

Anonymous said...

7:28 " Talked about in the House " What the heck does that mean ? Talked about ? Again, what a bunch of courageous super heroes as they " talked about it in the House " ,for 3 years no less before they could gather the guts to move this do nothing bill over spring break . Whew-Those bad news bears " Talked about it in the House" Impressive

Anonymous said...

As a vested PERS employee the deal the state made with me was that I would be paid well below market rates in exchange for a defined pension plan. The day they change that is the day they lose hundreds of well qualified people to the private sector. If you don't want the state staffed with jobs program bottom of the barrel hires either PERS stays or pay has to increase significantly for performing employees.

Anonymous said...

However, using false pretenses ...

False pretenses? Really? False pretenses like a retirement system careening towards disaster? ROFLMAO!

Anonymous said...

@11:01 who is just one more ignorant, bleacher-sitting, dart thrower who knows not one damned thing about PERS operations, history or forecasting. And this blog is home to a double handful just like him.

Speaker White is just one more speaker (the other was at the national level) who got in over his head in a popularity contest and who is treading water in a backstroke.

Look no further than his total inability to enunciate a reason for a restructured, politically appointed Board or how that would improve a damned thing.

EIGHT out of ELEVEN political appointees as Board members is one Charlie-Foxtrot of an idea.

Meanwhile: In order to have his way, Tate is salivating at the idea of a special session.

Anonymous said...

Tell me again how cancelling the increase in contributions from state & local govts and changing the makeup of the board would help viability?

Anonymous said...

Lost in all of this is that funding for PERS is going up. No action by the legislature actually increases funding for PERS. This bill would have killed the additional funding. So, by being their normal gutless selves, PERS is better funded.

Now, our towns and counties are about to get stung. This will lead to a lot of influential local leaders being furious with the legislature.

So, win-win.

Anonymous said...

I hope all the legislators in the house read Kingfish. I hope mine runs for reelection. Everyone wants PERS to work but don't piss down my leg and tell me it's raining.

Anonymous said...

Our Legislators have better retirement and better benefits than full time state employees. You’re all fooling yourselves if you think they care about you. It’s all about power and greed.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully Shad is doing a study regarding a study that will study the best was to study this problem which clearly needs a study. Surely he can fix it. I can’t wait to hear about it at Rotary.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi cannot afford to shore up PERS. We’ve got to use that money to expand Medicaid. Ain’t socialism fun!

Anonymous said...

The legislature didn’t offer any solutions except replacing the board. Replacing the board in itself will not fix anything. They didn’t offer any solutions.

Anonymous said...

Don’t change PERS, it won’t get real until PERS checks start bouncing. Until then, keep it going.

Anonymous said...

There are people on a city and county level that should not be on PERs. Those are the elected officials that have other jobs, yet they pay into PERs and reap the benefits down the road. Or they have worked at a salaried state level position, went into the private sector after a high 4, then came back in various elected capacities to finish out their 25 or so years. Those elected officials can't be good on the retirement system.

As to the 13th check. It is not some magical extra paycheck annually. It is a cost of living increase. Most, if not all, pension plans have these. Instead of it being calculated and spread over 12 monthly checks, it is done at one time.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish fails to understand that the Senate bill is still alive and pumping blood. Sine Die ain't come yet.

Anonymous said...

Where's the State Treasurer in this? He sits on the PERS board but his silence is deafening. The legislature has balked and we're now looking to him. Time for him stand on his own two feet and take charge as the public's only representative.

Anonymous said...

So, in a time when republicans are bragging about how wonderfully strong Mississippi's economy is performing under the "brilliant" leadership, government cannot handle a PERS contribution increase of 5% over three years? This is 5% of payroll, not the entire budget.

Tell the employees the PERS increase is their raise over the next three years. It's been handled that way before.

Anonymous said...

This is the easiest situation to correct. Cut the benefits. That is what every non government employee has to do with their individual retirement accounts. Why should the working class have to support the life style of government employees. If they are qualified, they can get part time jobs.

Kingfish said...

The cola is an automatic increase, not a cost of living adjustment. Has nothing to do with inflation.

Anonymous said...

My 11yr old could get a better rate of return compared to these genius managers. They’re way over compensated so you know the politicians want a piece of the brother in law deals. And TO the COMMENTATOR saying THANK god FOR Delbert. HA!!

Anonymous said...

@9:52

Exactly this. I've got about 7 years till I hit my 25 year mark and currently get paid about 50% of the salary I could be making in the private sector. When the state violates their promise I can guarantee I'll be gone from a state position (possibly the state as well) and so will all of my coworkers. This has been an office discussion over the last several months and every single coworker has had the same opinion. If people think that some counties', cities', and the state's IT departments are a joke now how do you think it will be when a majority or all of the midlevel and senior staff quit?

Should the state decide to change PERS and the promises made they and many municipalities are going to realize it will cost just as much if not more money because they are going to have to raise salaries to keep any competent people. We are already having a hard time finding competent employees for IT positions and the interviewees only seem to be getting worse. It's amusing for the state to bitch about "brain drain" one minute then constantly do things or move towards things that will force people out of the state.

Anonymous said...

How to help PERS out:

1) Combine SLRP, PERS, and MHSPRS. There shouldn't be 3 different retirement programs with different levels. All benefits would then be the same. No different percentages.

2) Allow retired PERS members to reenter the public workforce. They will still have to pay their 9% to PERS but it cannot affect their high four years.

Example: Police Chief retires from Vicksburg. Stays retired 2 years. Offered Chief job in Tupelo. Allowed to take the job and full salary but even if the pay is higher they are locked into their original retirement and they still have to pay the 9% employee contribution which goes into the overall pot.

3) Cap the highest someone can get from PERs can get paid and count towards the high four at $150k. Anything over $150k doesn't count towards a high 4.

Example: School superintendent making $250k. Retires with 25 years and a high 4 of $250k. PERs benefits would only count towards $150k instead of $250k. However, their 9% employee contribution would still be based on $250k.

Anonymous said...

To KF @ 8:42 on April 3:

And, remind me, but isn't the PERS COLA set at a fixed rate of 3% annually?

Anonymous said...

"Where's the State Treasurer in this? He sits on the PERS board but his silence is deafening."

How about the deafening silence of the State Tax Commissioner. Guess what? He also sits on the Board and is appointed by the Governor.

As to Kingfish's comment re COLA... Nowhere in the language is inflation mentioned. The COLA has never been claimed to be tied to the imaginary inflation guestimates. If Kingfish wants to bitch about the COLA, he can take that up with the legislature, where the idea was hatched. With regularity, Kingfish takes pot shots shooting blanks.

The danger inherent in this whole late-night shenanigan is that it was an attempt to grab control of the reins of the money, by the legislature, and that power would give a governor and Lt governor to pull a sweetheart-switcheroo with the retirement fund. And along with that switcheroo would go kickbacks, er, I mean positions on company boards that draw a nice commission.

This whole thing smells like Feel Brant and Brett Favre all over again with the half-blind complicity of the legislature.

Lastly; If the several legislators who are making accusations about the current Board, where are the specifics. They're only parroting what they've been told to chant. When has the Board made bad or wreckless decisions? Point it out. Where's the beef?

Anonymous said...

@9:54 perfect. why can't the powers that be come up with a plan like this?

oh yeah... it will have an affect on their friends retirement.

Who Did I Leave Out? said...

If you really want to dig into stupid decisions, look squarely at the legislature.

They are the body who decided PERS should pay retirement for life to County Supervisors, every city mayor in the state, every alderman, every school bus driver, city judges, many city and county engineers in rural counties and every other part-time-job-holding swinging-dick on the taxpayer's payroll in all 82 counties. Including themselves!

Anonymous said...

‘Retirement’ is not mentioned in the Bible, but ‘work’ is mentioned over 400 times.

Anonymous said...

Do away with the 13th check and put them money back into the fund. That would help tremendously. It would close the gap to a manageable level.

Kingfish said...

PERS defines COLA:

The COLA is equal to 3 percent of your annual base benefit for each full fiscal year of retirement prior to the year in which you reach age 55 (Retirement Tiers 1 through 3, see table below) or 60 (Retirement Tier 4), plus 3 percent compounded for each fiscal year thereafter, beginning with the fiscal year in which you turn age 55

Anonymous said...

@ "Now, our towns and counties are about to get stung. This will lead to a lot of influential local leaders being furious with the legislature.

So, win-win."

Except that's your money, and mine.


@ "Instead of it being calculated and spread over 12 monthly checks, it is done at one time."

That's half right. Most retirees get it once a year in December (middle of the state FY), but others (including me) get it added to their regular check every month, with the increase beginning in July (beginning of the state FY). The monthly method is the "default" and if it is selected at retirement or later selected, one can never go back to the annual method.

Anonymous said...

Just saw on the news that cities and counties are going to have to raise taxes to fund PERS?! WTF Bunch of freeloading retirees.. Same people complaining about student loan handouts etc sure don’t mind when it’s them getting the handouts off of everyone else’s backs! They picked a dumb career so they should pay the price not the rest of us. Some of those PERS people probably got student loans forgiven too!! PAY YOUR WAY!

Anonymous said...

Kingfish always gets bizarro when outed. He can copy and paste but doesn't know jack-shit about the system, it's inherent problems or solutions. He's simply a pot-shot artist.

Did I mention he's never had a real job?

Anonymous said...

Third world state, third world retirement system.

Anonymous said...

2:36, whatever the fix to PERS is, you better believe it will be your money and mine. Also throw in there a reduction in services due to the money involved and/or reduction in services due to employees hitting the road, depending on the solution.

Anonymous said...

2:47
I totally agree with the student loan handouts. Students today do not think through their career choice and working folks are left to bail them out. That's another act in Uncle Joe's Big Top Sh*tshow. The typical social work graduate in Mississippi will make less than a garbage truck driver FIVE YEARS after graduation. But when I think of PERS retirees I don't think of the same folks as you mention. I think about folks like my high school English teacher (a short, diminutive soul we affectionately called 'Conan the Grammarian') who put up with a lot of crap for many years in the hope of reaching a comfortable retirement. I know PERS retirees might get a bad rap, but a big majority are normal working folks, many who sacrificed higher paying jobs in the private sector for the stability of a state retirement. The predicament we're in is due to the legislature not handling their business. Don't blame the retirees...they good people.

Anonymous said...

Dillweed knows his chance at being governor was nil if his senate had agreed to the House Bill.

Meanwhile, Fitch, Watson and Gunn (the also-ran triumvirate) remained tight lipped.

Anonymous said...

Taxpayers vote, too! The bulk of the contribution to government employees’ retirement should come from the employees, not taxpayers. Raise the employee contribution, not taxes!

Anonymous said...

9:58 I agree, employees should be made to increase input of dollars, not taxpayers ! MS cannot afford this!

Anonymous said...

Doesn’t matter whether employees pay more or taxpayers pay more, it’s all gonna be paid for by the taxpayers. All PERS employees are paid from tax collections, so if they have to pay more into PERS, where do you think it’s gonna come from? Their salaries would have to go up to cover it, so taxpayers would have to pay more for their increased salaries.

Anonymous said...

King @ 12:14 - Thank you for proving my point (made @ 10:17). As I said, you bitch about inflation as relates to COLA and PERS COLA never mentions inflation.

In your spare time, you might look into the cost of insurance retirees are socked with. Inflation figures seem to ignore that too.

Anonymous said...

Hello, 5:30. You said, "Old heads in PERS actually buying that the board members (who they have no idea who they are)...:

I know all of them except the state treasurer. We all know the ones we vote to elect. What the hell are you talking about. YOU vote for people every election cycle whom you would not know if you saw them on a sidewalk.

Anonymous said...

7:23 am - their salary does not “have” to go up. In the real world, employees pay into their retirement accounts with or without raises. Why should government workers be treated any differently? If they don’t like their salary, find another job.

Anonymous said...

Illegal aliens get more from the government than PERS retirees. If you vote for Democrats, think about that, they made it happen.

Anonymous said...

7:23 am - their salaries do not “have” to go up. In the real world, employees save for their retirement with or without salary increases.

Anonymous said...

April 3, 2024 at 3:49 PM
A lot of them couldn't hack it in the private sector. No disrespect to the competent ones.

Anonymous said...

2:03pm, yeh, like all the private sector employees who drew tens of thousands in Covid unemployment benefits and took out huge Covid PPP loans they didn’t have to pay back while they sat on their ass in their basement for a couple of years hiding out! They are real competent warriors in our Mississippi economy. Gimme an effing break, what a joke!

Anonymous said...

I am ashamed I ever voted for Delbert and that mistake wont happen again.

Anonymous said...

What you idiots need to understand is the 13th check is the same as SLRP, IT IS A BENEFIT! PERIOD It is automatic benefit that the PERS Board and Legislature passed and did not provide a funding stream for the extra money needed to support it. It is NOT a Cost Of Living Adjustment.

Anonymous said...

Why don’t the legislators lead from
The front and give themselves the same benefits as other PERS members? HB1590 only added politics to the board which paves the way for future corruption and issues. Why didn’t the legislature recommend adjustments when they were padding their pockets in 1999? PERS recommended a employer contribution increase, their solution “let’s politicize the board and remove the increas” literally solved nothing but giving them more ways to grease their own pockets.

Anonymous said...

@9:21 totally agree. My husband is in IT and was a state employee. The best thing he did was leave for a corporate position. More money upfront, regular raises, better health insurance, a 401k with a good match plus most importantly a working environment where the talent are valued. No, there is no pension but with the increase in social security due to higher wages and the increase in salary we will come out ahead. And, honestly the financial benefits are secondary to quality of life benefits.

Anonymous said...

"A lot of them couldn't hack it in the private sector. No disrespect to the competent ones."

You've never worked in the public sector. I've worked in both, and there are one helluva lot of private sector employees who could not hack it in the public sector. So, maybe it's a wash. Er ah...no disrespect to the competent ones.

Anonymous said...

Everybody just needs to shut up and pay their taxes. These state employees work hard too and deserve a lifetime inflation adjusted annuity.


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.