Well, we finally got around to shooting down Red China's "weather" balloon. Finally. Watch the fun. Hoorah.
Saturday, February 4, 2023
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
42 comments:
One has to wonder if this whole thing wasn't arranged, so that someone could pretend that he isn't owned by them.
And what did they shoot down in Montana today?
@7:07: You might need a few more layers of tinfoil to intercept the 5G radiation which might emit from smart toilets and internet enabled garbage cans.
Next
I wonder why it was allowed to go across the entire country. I know safety was an issue but….
I’m pretty sure this actually was a weather balloon because China is absolutely obsessed with weather modification. And in best Cold War fashion, China honestly believes that we have some ability to control the worlds weather. Therefore, they are desperately trying to close their weather modification “gap” with the USA.
@7:07
If that was the case then he failed. Because the Chicom balloon made its transcontinental voyage of espionage completely unmolested until it had crossed the entirety of the continental US..
It was all staged to make Joe Xiden look tough against his and Hunter's pal President Xi. Xi got his intel and Joe looks tough to his base.
Maybe they waited to shoot it down after arriving over the East coast waters - because they didn't want civilians obtaining any debris on land...
What do you mean finally it’s only been over US air space for 3 day. That they waited to get it over water was a strategic decision to protect the public and to protect from scavengers getting to the wreckage.
Biden had a plan. He didn’t want it shot down near the Aleutians because the water is too deep which would have prevented recovery of the equipment for intel purposes. They waited until it got above shallow water off the Carolinas where it is less than 50 feet deep.
I have a bridge for sale.
The Governor on Montana said it should have been shot down over his state. The most it would have hurt was cow.
Wait till @7:07 finds out 3 of these things flew through our airspace 3 times, and Cheeto Jesus did nothing.
Maybe we should be more concerned about the millions of Chinese we educated in science and the fact that 99% of the crap we buy comes from them.
But, Bubba Big Bux III, Delta farmer, will bleat "why did it take so long?" as he collects US Taxpayer Farm Subsidies to feed the Chinese Army.
Meanwhile, we have multiple Chinese Communist Party members and PRC citizens on our state college payrolls and in our research labs.
Shiny things, she repeated. "I see shiny things, don't you????"
How completely ironic. Yes, they do see the shiny things, honey. And not much else.
7:27 PM, exactly right. Nothing to see here! Move along!
I'm more inclined to believe what the chicoms said it was that what the amcoms say it was.
Biden said "I was told about this on Wed (Feb 1st) and ordered it to be shot down" but many sources are reporting the White house was informed of this Jan, 28th. I do not see how this administration continually gets away with lying like this.
If we had shot this down over Montana the collateral damage would have been somewhere between zero and infinitesimal. The damage the Chinese could possibly do with all the info they gathered drifting across the whole country could be something beyond catastrophic. What we did makes no sense at all.
Shooting it down over the ocean increased the odds that the payload wouldn't be recovered and prove to be a political liability for Uncle Joe Dementia.
Biden finally attacks something that was inflated.
Can’t believe how many people are buying into the whole “we don’t want it to fall and damage something” lie. We have the tech capable to shoot it down and make it land on a penny if we chose to.
POOF the Magic Dragon lives O'er the sea
Then there's Joe who's mentally lost in a land called Honalee
7:07 for the win!!
We have a bigger problem with the republican controlled house, they have only been in charge for three weeks and they are already destroying this country.
9:06 - unfortunately the Bubbas are not able to comprehend your comment…
Lol at the liberals protecting Joey Mumbles. Surprised they aren’t crying along with Greta Downberg about polluting the ocean.
@7:37 AM
How so ? Details please.
@9:06 PM
Scotch or Bourbon ?
Come on people, the commies were just testing Biden. It was a ....wait for it....TRIAL BALLOON.
Bada bing!
I would guess that Montana would be a very good place to shoot the balloon down if they were worried about people being injured. Has anyone ever been to Montana? Of course it could have been the people of China wanted to get a look at all of the land they have been buying.
Don't worry, be happy. The kernel of the plan is to keep people in a perpetual state of fear. The seed planted many years ago is bringing forth much fruit.
What with the endless talking heads of mainstream media, broadcast, or print, to 24 hour internet blogs, and chat boards, there's a never ending cacophony of fear porn being distributed.
All of this is designed to incite emotional, illogical thought by the consumers of this fear porn. Which in turn causes a distrust of their fellow citizens, hindering the possibility of the country becoming more united.
Get a grip on yourself. What is going to happen, must happen, and all of your worry is for naught.
“Wait till @7:07 finds out 3 of these things flew through our airspace 3 times, and Cheeto Jesus did nothing.”, fake news, another lie.
What is it about Trump that causes people to lie?
If that was a China spy ballon my name is Elvis “the King” Presley.
Our CIA probably floated the balloon.
10:16, for the Delta Farmer/Frat Boys, the answer is both.
For their masters on K Street and the Hill, Rip Van Winkle.
Try not to repeat the juvenile ad hominem that folks you disagree with are drinkers. It's, ironically, getting old.
And neither DJT, nor FJB, nor John Shelby drink. I do, but only blood.
From my enemies, and the Lord.
Did we really need to use a half-million dollar missile to take this down? Wouldn't a short burst from the 20mm gun on the plane do the trick? Asking for a taxpayer.
They did the right thing. Folks, the DOD and Intell Community are not stupid. They have played this game for many, many years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2xz21HvLs8
8:55 PM, Could you please tell us what dates this happened? I am pretty sure if it did happen it would have been on the news since the news media would jump at the chance of reporting it.
“Try not to repeat the juvenile ad hominem that folks you disagree with are drinkers.”
Sadly, this is true. Some are drunk on ignorance, and staggering from stupidity.
Well just DAMN, Anonymous at 7:24 AM who announced the wrong winner. I'm at 4:49 AM and was sure I would have the winning entry!
I'd already ordered a round of drinks and three bags of Krystals for the entire gallery.
1:21, a video at Youtube explains. And, yes, we have been shooting down balloons since 1865. A missile with deactivated warhead is a dart, not a bang. And that saves the target better for recovery and analysis. Range. Altitude. It's almost like the DOD and CIA and DIA know more about this than other folks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2xz21HvLs8
Look like we need to either extend Maverick on active duty so he can shoot these things down regularly, or he can go MI and parachute from 100K altitude and drive the balloons down to Area 51.
Oh, wait, SEALs already jumped 4 "operators" (with GoPros) and lost all 8 of them, tragically, as usual, but there will be a new book out about it next week. Their book tour starts Monday on Good Morning Amerika.
Never mind, Iron Man flew up to Alaska and did that, AND they then launched a Fake XiBalloon which is still under warranty. 4 D Chess. So, THAT's why they didn't want a shootdown.
My Fakebook sources never fail to uncover the truth.
When it exploded it sounded like a train!
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