Saturday, November 23, 2024

D.L. Gardner: Everyone Knows Nobody Knows

Nobody knows. Everybody knows that. Why does anyone believe his or her opinion? Some will never understand. All of the (economists, scientists, experts) agree. “The more things change, the more they are the same.” Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr was a French critic, journalist, and novelist. “For what it's worth.”

Ok that last one is a Buffalo Springfield song written by Stephen Stills in 1966. “There’s somethin’ happenin’ here. But what it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there, A-tellin’ me I got to beware. I think it’s time we stop Children, what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down.” Three-thousand years or so ago, the wisest man on earth wrote, “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

Last week Hakeem Jeffries NY Congressman and House Minority Leader criticized President-elect Trump’s nominations for cabinet members saying, “when we're confronted with nominations like Robert F. Kennedy Jr., are these the best individuals available to the incoming Trump administration?”

Congressman Jeffries was just putting in his own words the last verse of “For What It’s Worth.” “Paranoia strikes deep into your life, it will creep. It starts when you’re always afraid. You step out of line the man come and take you away. We better stop, hey, what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down.” That’s the way the last 4 years played out. We ain’t going back.

Congressman Jeffries is four years too late to ask that question of the outgoing administration. If only we had known then what we know now. Unlike the Biden administration, President-elect Trump’s administration has an electoral mandate from the American people demanding major changes in the federal government. President Trump is not handing out party favors, but is seriously selecting leaders who can and will make major changes demanded by the voters.

God had mercy on America four years ago when He put Joe Biden in the White House. That gave Donald Trump a four-year do-over and answered prayers of an overwhelming majority of American voters. Trump is now lazer focused on what needs to be done and who is best to lead every department, bureau, and agency. Donald Trump is God’s choice to make changes across America and especially in Washington, DC, to restore America’s leadership in the world and to bless America again.

Thanksgiving Day will be here before we know it. This year we can truly thank God for His blessings to reunite us in peace under His banner of love. It’s time to work together again and stop calling millions of fellow Americans names.

The fourth estate in America has suffered severely with lies and censorship. We’re already seeing changes in major news outlets. The New York Post headline was “LA Times owner to overhaul ‘very left’ editorial board, gives paradoxical reason for not endorsing Kamala Harris.” Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong, owner of the Times, said “Harris’ support for Israel’s military actions in Gaza was one of the main reasons he refused to endorse the Democrat and said he wants to hire more conservative voices….”

During this period of postmortem after the election many are hoping news media from local to legacy will consider covering “more conservative voices.” They badly misjudged their readers and viewers who are far too conservative to tolerate nothing but woke news. Nevertheless, everybody knows nobody knows.

Daniel L. Gardner is a columnist who lives in Starkville, MS. You may contact him at PJandMe2@gmail.com.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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