Thursday, July 12, 2012

Ethan Thomas goes to court next week

Raymond Ethan Thomas gets to face some Texas justice next week as he goes to court over the charge of impersonating a public servant*. Mr. Thomas was arrested last year at his home in Reunion (without a pineapple it must be noted) by federal marshals on a warrant issued in Travis County, Texas.

Mr. Thomas is scheduled to appear in court on July 19 at 9:00 AM. Don't you worry, don't you fear, JJ is working on getting a correspondent in the courtroom. Mr. Thomas is currently free on a cash bond. Stay tuned. Earlier post about Mr. Thomas and prior conviction.

*1. Section 37.11(a) reads as follows:

(a) A person commits an offense if he:
(1) impersonates a public servant with intent to induce another to submit to his pretended official authority or to rely on his pretended official acts; or
(2) knowingly purports to exercise any function of a public servant or of a public office, including that of a judge and court, and the position or office through which he purports to exercise a function of a public servant or public office has no lawful existence under the constitution or laws of this state or of the United States.

(b) An offense under this section is a felony of the third degree.


(a) An individual adjudged guilty of a felony of the third degree shall be punished by imprisonment in the institutional division for any term of not more than 10 years or less than 2 years.

(b) In addition to imprisonment, an individual adjudged guilty of a felony of the third degree may be punished by a fine not to exceed $10,000.


Anonymous said...
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Shadowfax said...

I don't understand the pineapple reference but have seen it on here from time to time.

Anonymous said...

4:22 - The rumor is that there are several swinging couples out in Reunion and they can identify each other by the pineapples (pottery, brass, etc.) in front of their houses.

Shadowfax said...

Swingers identified by pineapples on either side of the entrance? My Gawd! I wonder what this says about Little John Arthur Eaves then?

Anonymous said...

The pineapple has historically
been a Deep South symbol of hospitality.

If the "swingers of Madison County " have co-opted this into some kind of kinky underground- railroad
code, thanks for the info.

Now I know where to stop on the way home from work !

I'm really starting to wonder the meaning of those expensive strawberries on the new Madison bridge.
No wonder Madison has been a booming little town.

I'm told that those Pearl/Brandon trailers that sport " year-round' Christmas lights " are code for the Rankin County swingers.

Anonymous said...

Lieutenant Robert Graham, the original Police impostor.

Shadowfax said...

Only a few more days before Carter Jewelers closes for renovation. Several diamonds remain, professionally imbedded in pineapple and strawberry settings.

Update: It's not the year-round Christmas lights on trailers that signifies Rankin swingers. It's the Amana freezers out by the road. A Kelvinator appliance beside a Camaro signals the home of a 'needy woman'.

Anonymous said...

everyone jokes like the Re-onion swingers club doesn't exist, funny.

Anonymous said...

is this the SAME GUY that liked to run around telling people he was a Federal Law Agent, former Delta Force and all that....he had been warned before by MPD....but i thought the guy lived in either this is the same guy or there are 2 guys up that way doing the sam stuff?

Shadowfax said...

So what if it DOES exist. Are you pissed because you're left out or because it violates your sense of decency?

Shadowfax said...

I'm not sure which is less important ~ Your objection to it or the lack of proof that it exists. Perhaps you should submit an updated application for membership. I think those applications are only good for about six months.

Anonymous said...

Reunion is an entertainment in itself! I do not live there, but go to the workout facility occassionally. There is always a spectical of skimpily dressed, augmented/enhanced women zipping around in their golf carts either at the tennis facility or pool. They are the biggest advertisers in town for plastic surgery. One woman particularly likes to do lunges in the parking lot with the shortest nike shorts ever imagined. It is a great side show. I am not sure about the pineappling activities, but there are very proud women strutting around like peacocks.

Shadowfax said...

3:22 didn't say whether he/she was offended or appreciative. But, from the tone of voice, I infer offense, perhaps jealousy. What in the hell is wrong with an attractive woman appearing in public in shorts, doing lunges? Your alternative, 3:22, is to hang out at Wal Mart near the blue parking zones.

Anonymous said...

...justa swangin'....

Anonymous said...


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS