Friday, February 28, 2025

Global Warming, the Broiler. and Tuna

Life teaches us that all things are related.  OK, maybe they aren't, but I did get you to read this far and consider looking a bit more into my foolishness.



During an excursion into the wonders of higher education many years back, I read that a butterfly in the Western Sahara can beat its wings as it flies from bush to bush and generate a westwardly directed air flow, contributing to an upper atmospheric movement off the Canary Islands and an eventual Cat-4 Hurricane (on the Saffir-Simpson scale), coming across the beach in Biloxi to wreck Shaggy's, the Holiday Inn Express, and the Project Lounge, which has excellent burgers, and then Desporte Seafood LLC, where I once purchased a tasty Oyster PoBoy and two of the prettiest Tuna steaks I have ever enjoyed. For anyone who might wonder, that last sentence was 104 words long – eat your Yoknapatawpha County heart out, Willy Faulkner. Up to this point, I have been writing with foolish speculation, but if it should ever happen (The hurricane destroying Desporte's), I guess I will be forced to rely on canned Albacore from Piggly Wiggly to satisfy my Tuna craving.


Did they ever make tuna melts in the cafeteria when you were a kid? Clinton Blvd. Elementary had the item on their menu, maybe once a month. Their tune melt was constructed on half of a hamburger bun and looked horrible, but we kids (most of us) loved it. I was a big fan of then, but it was the 1950's and I was just a dumb little kid who wanted to be a fireman, or soda jerk when I grew up, so what did I know?


Anyhow, I occasionally get a hankering for a tuna melt, or chicken melt, or Spam melt these days and sneak one into our dinner rotation. For you guys, it could be called recipe number 107.


Here is how you can make this vintage 1950's half face culinary oddity, that might be an acquired taste from the 1950s.

Tuna Melt


Ingredients:

1 or 2 portions of bread – Hamburger buns work well. I used two of those really thin wheat buns
1 can or pouch of tuna, or canned chicken, or canned spam, or canned shrimp
1/4 cup celery, chopped fine
1/4 cup onion, diced fine
2 Tablespoons capers, because I like them
1/4 cup mayonnaise, as desired
1/2 – 1 cup shredded cheese, Cheddar, Swiss, Provolone, Monterrey Jack, whatever you have
1 Tablespoon Parsley
Salt and Black Pepper to taste


Optional – sweet or dill pickles, if you want them


Directions:

Preheat the broiler in the oven, while building the sandwich

Prep the celery, onion in a suitably sized mixing bowl


Add the canned tuna. I drained mine.




Add the capers. I like the way they taste, but not everyone feels that way.




Grate the cheese and set aside. I used Cheddar




Add mayo to the tuna salad mixture. Use whatever amount you like. I make mine somewhat dry.


Add the Parsley, Black Pepper. Mix, taste, and add salt, to taste 









Add the cheese and mix well.




Set up the bread on a broiler sheet



Portion out the tuna mixture on the half buns, or whatever bread you are using



Cook under the broiler, until slightly browned.



I like to add a little more cheese on top of the tuna at this point, either grated or sliced


Back under the broiler until the topping cheese is melted.



Serve while still hot.






Thanks for looking at my post.
God Bless you.



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's delightfully old school, Chef. I don't remember tuna melts at school in the 1960s but I do remember some kind of meat patty like Swiss steak with a blob of ketchup and yellow cheese melted on top of it. Glad to see you use Hellmann's mayo, too.

I use rye bread, roasted poblano pepper strips and Muenster cheese to make tuna melts these days.

Anonymous said...

Hellman's?!?!?!?

You are in The South, sir... we use Duke's.

Anonymous said...

No 9:30 - true southerners use Blue Plate

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you, bear. But, I also add diced hardboiled egg, use pita or naan as the base, and don't mix any cheese in the salad - just on top. Great alongside a bowl of gazpacho, too.



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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


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This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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