Monday, August 19, 2024

"Have a F***** Great Time"

or The Surrender of Lee at the Federal Courthouse

Former Jackson Ward 2 Councilwoman Angelique Lee stood in the well of justice last Wednesday in federal court as she pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit bribery.  However, Lee's guilty plea is merely the tip of the spear for the Justice Department as it takes on Jackson corruption.   

The saga begins with the struggling Jackson Convention Center.  Mayor Harvey Johnson built the convention center in the hopes of reviving the fortunes of downtown Jackson. Unfortunately, the convention center has been a dud as it has woefully underperformed since it opened.  The convention center was built on the backside of downtown, out of sight and almost out of mind.  A parking lot known more for its craters is just more evidence of Jackson's failure to finish what it starts.  

Undeterred by failure, Harvey and his successors pinned their hopes on the construction of a convention center hotel.  If Jackson builds it, they will have to come and all will be right again.  

The city issued RFP's for a convention center hotel over the years yet none of the proposals ever panned out - when proposals were actually submitted as there were times RFP's came and went without a response. 

The Jackson Redevelopment Authority issued an RFP in September 2023 but later withdrew the RFP.  The city, not JRA, issued a request for a Request for Qualifications on January 31, 2024.  This is where the fun begins.  

Three companies submitted responses:  Speed Commercial Real Estate, 2K Development LLC, and Facility Solutions Team.  Facility Solutions Team is owned by Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens.   It is odd for a district attorney to engage in real estate development but Owens has been involved in real estate for over a decade.  Owens created the company on March 19, a week after the RFQ's March 12 deadline. 

Somewhere along the way, the District Attorney met two FBI agents posing as Nashville investors. Since the contract for the project would eventually require approval from the Jackson City Council,  Owens introduced his new-found money men to members of the Jackson City Council.   They met with Ward 1 Councilman Ashby Foote at the Capitol Club in mid-February.  JJ reported on May 25: 

"Their deal was they were interested in investing in Jackson. They mentioned retail stuff, also a convention hotel.  We were right there where you could over look it," said Mr. Foote.  The group stood at the window looking down on the convention center as they discussed the convention center hotel. They used the vantage point to look at other "empty properties" in downtown Jackson. "You could see all the empty properties that surround the convention center," continued the Councilman. 

 The purpose of the meeting was "for them trying to find out how to get business done in Jackson.  That's kind of what they wanted to know.  How does Jackson work? How do we get things done here was the underlying theme of the discussion," said Mr. Foote.  

"I wasn't suspicious at all but what struck me was that um, they didn't have the real smooth presentation delivery that you normally expect folks trying to make big expensive investments to have. I've been in the investment business for 40 years so I've seen presentation all across the country of companies trying to sell stuff. They've got it down to a science. I'm used to seeing people, if you're investing hundreds of millions of dollars or more, you've got a particular delivery, you're trying to engage people and get their feedback, it's how you do it if you are trying to make a presentation.  They didn't strike me as seasoned presenters," said the Ward 1 Councilman.  

They did not present any handouts nor business cards to Mr. Foote. Earlier post.

Ward 5 Councilman Vernon Hartley reported a similar experience to WLBT: 

 Ward Five Councilman Vernon Hartley also met with Owens and individuals believed to be developers back in January....

 Hartley’s meeting was on January 11 at Walker’s Drive-In. Foote’s meeting was at the Capital Club on February 29. Foote and Hartley both paid for their own meals...

 Hartley said he let developers know early on he wasn’t going to do anything unless it was above board.

 “I can promise you in about 10 minutes, they had all the feeling about me that they needed,” he said. “And that is, ‘I’m not that guy.’ It’s good to establish who you are early and who you’re not. Rest of article and video.

The two councilmen found the "investors" to be "sketchy, thus triggering their radar.  Neither took the bait but that didn't stop the District Attorney and his FBI friends.  The feds struck pay dirt when they approached Lee. 

Lee had been in the news for various troubles over the last year. She pleaded guilty to a DUI-other charge in Madison in June 2023 but the media did not discover the conviction until March after Council President Aaron Banks was arrested for a DUI.  The media duly reported the news of both arrests. 

Lee was elected to the City Council in a 2020 special election after Melvin Priester, Jr. resigned.  The Councilwoman never paid A2Z for her yard signs and other campaign materials. A2Z Printing sued and obtained a default judgment against Lee.  After collection efforts failed, the company started garnishing her City Council paycheck in October 2023.   Thus Lee was somewhat vulnerable to bribery when the District Attorney and his federal friends came calling.  

Owens introduced Lee to the "investors."  The would-be developers said they needed her help in steering the contract to Owens as well as closing a road near the convention center.   Lee asked the "investors" to pay her A2Z bill.  The "investors" happily obliged and provided the funds to Owens.  Owens deposited the funds in his PAC account.  The PAC in turn wired the money to A2Z.  Debt paid.  However, the bribery continued as Lee's taste for nice things arose.

A Justice Department attorney said at Lee's arraignment Wednesday that Lee had dinner with the District Attorney and the "investors" on March 27. The dinner was quite the jovial affair as Lee decided she needed some of the finer things in life for her troubles.  A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do, right?  Lee agreed to go on a shopping spree the next day but with a twist: the "investors" would pay for the shopping spree on their credit card. 

Lee also thanked the "investors" for paying off her A2Z bill.  The dinner was quite profitable for Lee as one of the agents gave her a bag containing $3,000 in cash (Yes, you read that correctly.  The Councilwoman took a bag full of cash from strangers.)   The conversation went as stated in court: 

Agent: "So take this, it's yours. Thank you, all that and $800 more in there."

Lee: "Oh my God, thank  you.  I'm not reporting it."

Agent: "Why would you report it? It's cash." 

Lee: "Oh my God." 

Agent: "Thanks for your vote.  That's huge for us."

Lee: "You've got more votes coming."

Agent: "well, thank you sweetheart. Tomorrow, I'll just give her (another agent) my credit card.  Don't go too crazy with it but have a fucking great time." 

Lee: "Thank you."

Lee went on a $6,000 shopping spree at Maison Weiss and other stores on March 28.  She made the following purchases on an agent's credit card. 


The trap didn't close on the hapless Councilwoman until the Fibbies executed a search warrant of her home on May 22 and recovered all items but the cologne as Lee had given that to her boyfriend.  

Her voice breaking, Lee admitted everything the Justice Department said was true as she pleaded guilty.  Judge Jordan set her sentencing for November 13 at 10 AM.  

Lee resigned her City Council seat a few hours before her August 14 initial appearance.  Attorney Aafram Sellers represented Lee. 

The bill of information all but names Owens as a participant in the bribery scheme.  The bill of information states she worked with "unindicted co-conspirator A and others known and unknown to the grand jury."  The bill states:

8. It was an object of the conspiracy for LEE to benefit and enrich herself by corruptly soliciting, accepting, and agreeing to accept things of value, including cash payments, from Individual 1 and Individual 2 directly and indirectly via Unindicted Co-conspirator A, in exchange for LEE's vote in favor of the real estate development project being proposed by Individual 1 and Individual 2, LEE's support for closure of a road in furtherance of that same project, and LEE's official ,approvals and support for future development projects of Individual 1 and Individual 2 as opportunities arose.

Although "A" has not been officially identified, it is a safe bet "A" is Hinds County District Attorney Jody Owens.  It was Owens who formed the company. It was Owens who submitted the statement of qualification to the city.  It was Owens who, with the two "investors," approached Hartley in mid-January before the RFQ was issued.  It was almost as if he had inside knowledge a new RFQ would be issued.  It was Owens who tried to rope in Foote but the West Point graduate wasn't buying whatever the Facility Solutions Team was selling at the Capitol Club.  


Owens' attorney, Rob McDuff, issued this statement to WAPT after Lee's arraignment:

It is our understanding that the federal investigation does not involve Jody's service as District Attorney.  For the past 15 years, Jody has engaged in real estate development.  

Jody owns two properties in downtown Jackson and has always supported the development of downtown and the growth of the city," McDuff said. "Two gentlemen who claimed they were successful large-scale developers with their own development company raised with him the possibility of building a convention center hotel in Jackson. he believed them and after multiple conversations, agreed to help them. It turns out they were operatives for the FBI.

The statement may indicate the weak hand McDuff has to play.  The statement does not include the standard denial or promise "the truth will come out" as is standard in such defenses.  Lee's conviction is probably evidence the Feds have Owens nailed with videotape and other evidence.  

However, there is one angle that has not been discussed much by the media.  The scheme could not work without the participation of the executive branch.  Several questions must be asked: 

* Why did JRA withdraw the September 2023 RFP? 

* Why did the city issue an RFQ instead of an RFP? 

* Why did the city issue the RFQ instead of JRA.  A Board governs JRA.  Such is not the case with the city as the executive branch answers to only one person. Was the person involved with the bid-rigging or contract-steering scheme? 

* Why did the District Attorney have advance knowledge of the RFQ? 

The FBI seized the cellphones of Owens, Banks, Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba, and others on May 22.  It is a safe bet they are all under investigation.  

Stay tuned. 

 

68 comments:

Anonymous said...

No way! I recall reading an excerpt from a book saying Owens was such an honest trustworthy fellow.

Anonymous said...

If only the Richard's Disposal promoter could be caught up in this and removed from office.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand this quest to build a hotel across the street from an underperforming convention center. (1) The hotel business in downtown Jackson is terrible. The closing of the Marriot would seem to signal that the demand for hotel rooms is not there. (2) Convention business died during the pandemic and I'm not sure that it will ever approach the level that is used to be. Companies learned a few things during the pandemic and one was that most out of town travel is not necessary. The advance of technology like Zoom has made it possible for people to collaborate without leaving their home office. (3) What organization would want to host a convention in Jackson? With our proximity to New Orleans and the Gulf Coast, it's difficult for even a marketing genius to attract conventions away from these two cities. We need to go back to the drawing board on this idea. Maybe that lot should be converted to a green space. Please don't add any parking space. We already have half empty parking garages all within walking distance of this area.

Anonymous said...

My favorite quote from M*A*S*H - from Dr. Sidney Freedman, the psychiatrist, when amongst all the mess in the war advised the men and women......"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice." Quite fitting. Let's see who stands up after slip sliding away....

Anonymous said...

Certainly they bust his azz over the Richards fiasco. Is this the "in" they need to find more charges of bribery and collusion? There is no way they are going after just the RFQ on something like a convention center hotel with the ever-present Richards deal being so openly bid rigged. Come on FBI, I know someone is monitoring the comments. That was collusion and bid rigging and bribery textbook 101.

Anonymous said...

4:07 you are correct, and they were told that very thing years ago when the convention center hosted an international expert on urban revitalization. There was much buzz at that time about San Antonio and what it did, but the developer told them (and everyone in attendance, including me) that you cannot ignore the blight outside the windows and the issues that surround the center. In short, he said if you cannot get the basics of the city in order, including crime, it won't matter how much money you sink into it. Harvey Johnson and others thought they could ignore all the bad stuff. They were wrong.

Anonymous said...

Imagine all of things that will soon come to light over the price of a few purses and some bad debt. Amazing.

Anonymous said...

One of you legal minds, please explain how you can be an Unindicted Coconspirator and under investigation and search warrants, at the same time.

Anonymous said...

@407, you can bet that the play Jody Owens was counting on was a substantial 'investment' by the city/county/state into the venture he was creating - with, of course, his rich out of town investors.

For all the reasons you note, plus many others, this idea has proven to be a dud from the beginning. One thing KF missed in his post was where the fiasco of the convention center began - not with do-nothing Mayor Harvey Johnson but with the Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee Democrat (at the time) Charlie Williams, who insisted on building a telecommunications conference center here based on the location of WorldCom, MCCA, Skytel - even though the companies all disagreed with the concept.

Those details hardly ever matter to a legislator who is living in the middle of a boom as was the dot-com era, and Williams insisted on the state building this 'state of the art' facility.

It was six years later when Harvey decided to double down on this fiasco, with the state agreeing to 'give' the center to the city who then doubed its size.

IF an adjoining hotel had been built at that time, before Jackson cratered under Harvey, Frank, and the Lumumbas (with of course help from Yarber), it may have worked, But the emphasis at that time was on reestablishing Farrish Street, just as it is today and has been a couple of times in between.

The train has left Union Station long ago for the development of the area around the convention center. Question is now, what to do with that monstor before it delves into the depths of no maintenance such as bequeathed Thalia Mara

Anonymous said...

@4:07 You sweet summer child, the quest has nothing to do with a hotel, it has to do with grift.

Anonymous said...

"I don't understand this quest to build a hotel across the street from an underperforming convention center."

You don't really think this was ever about improving the city, do you?

Anonymous said...

One of the biggest events at the Jackson Convention Center is a big youth volleyball tournament in February. It attracts teams from MS, LA, AR and AL. There have been so many vehicle break-ins at that tournament that the promoters are moving the tournament to Louisiana.

Anonymous said...

Until Jackson's elected officials stop treating the city as an ATM for their friends/associates/bribers, nothing good will come of this place. I don't know what prompted the most current sting (the Richard's debacle most likely) but somehow or another they got the idea that starting a business in Jackson (i.e. "investing" in the town) requires paying off the junta running this hellhole. Just like NYC in the '70s and '80s, nothing can run without paying off the mob. Get an honest - and even modestly competent - group of people running this place with a fiduciary responsibility to taxpayers instead of lining their own pockets, and the rest will start to improve.

Macy Hanson said...

It is amazing, isn't it? So many stories from this site all connected on this one. Like the end of a movie.

Macy Hanson said...

Yes.

Kingfish said...

Where is Bill Dees?

Anonymous said...

Bill Dees is in Miami with Chowke.

Anonymous said...

@5:18 I remember when the city took the property across from the convention center, a business owner learned he was going to have to move in the Clarion Ledger. He was a productive downtown business paying taxes and since they were going to tear down his building he moved to maybe Rankin County. Now it’s a big empty lot.

Anonymous said...

That men’s cologne will be added to Lee’s charges. This-is exactly like customers at Belk & McRaes that would use almost the entire bottle then break the sprayer off or say they wanted their money back. You still have to pay Angelique

Anonymous said...

Will we please get to see Jody in handcuffs along with Chockwe & Richard’s ?

Anonymous said...

@3:55 bad timing to be propping up Owens as a stand up guy ay

Excellent Judge of Character said...

I have to say I’m super impressed with Ashby Foote. I appreciate his discernment and didn’t know, until this post, that Hartley had also been wined and dined and came to the same sketchy conclusion. Hat tip to both of them!

And I’m also curious about Virgie Lindsey’s statement at the press conference regarding Lee’s sudden resignation stating “we are devastated” and the mayor’s similar response. If ever there was an opportunity to create distance from Angelique and the house of cards she’s standing in front of, it would have been at that press conference. And they all knew stuff was going down. As a PR person, I found that to be a glaring mis-step.

Anonymous said...

What are the chances Owens is a double naught spy?

Anonymous said...

I second that motion.

Anonymous said...

Seems like low hanging fruit for Feds, boring low tier...All eyes on Phil.

Anonymous said...

Is Jody an FBI informant? Methinks that he has been from day 1.

Anonymous said...

Jody Owens was no more an informant than Phil Bryant was a whistleblower.

Anonymous said...

8:31 for today's win!

Anonymous said...

in the fall of 1999 councilmen robert williams and louis armstromg were both indicted in a scheme to bang a cable tv company out of $250,000 cash. both were eventually convicted . this case has alot of parallels to that 1999 case. it took the revolving door of jackson city counsilmen and mayors a mere 20 years to revert right back to the same degree of corruption. the FBI could open a field office right next door to city hall and it would not change the amount of corruption.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile...at the Clarion Ledger. There is no coverage on this but there is an article on Angelique Lee's resignation. It is the 20th article down the page.
Hard hitting CL coverage!

mullen said...

Louis was bribing the owner of a sleezy titty bar over a zoning issue. The little dumbass Williams was trying to bribe Time Warner on their renewal contract. Was so little league blatant.

Anonymous said...

The "remote" VA parking lot scam is a stinker involving fed funds since the VA is roped in to the unpaid lease of a ball park facility. Wasn't there a minimum of $500,000 unpaid rent on that facility? That whole fiasco smells as bad as the South Jackson tire fire and the FBI seems an appropriate investigator to bust it open.

otisfyfe said...

All that's missing, at this point, is Owens using the 'Phil defense' of, "This doesn't look good. I should have known".

And don't be dissing the Clarion Ledger's crack staff. They are no doubt busy right now attempting to connect Phil and the New family to the bogus hotel scheme.

Anonymous said...

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in Miami this weekend. Let’s see Lying to FBI criminal charges, Wiring $ to Lee criminal charges, Bribery criminal charges, just the tip of the iceberg I say. Last week was a great new week and this week is shaping up to be one also. Even loved Madison & Rankin Counties arresting the 18 yo fleeing in a Honda accord of all vehicles while fleeing earlier in a stolen Dodge Charger out of Texas. Hats of to all branches of LEO as earlier this week another officer in GA was killed in the line of duty as he walked into an ambush I believe. I still believe there is hope but it takes persons of courage and faith to stand up! We support KF, and all LE for courage! 💙🇺🇸❤️💯

Anonymous said...

One must wonder if this little small time bust isn’t just for some Democrat controlled Feds “perception of law and order” show. Some good ole red meat just in time for the Presidential election. To give the illusion that Democrats will be held accountable for using chaos and rampant crime to control their cities forever (that we know won’t happen).

Anonymous said...

This weekend: A Washington DC council member has been arrested on charges of accepting $156,000 in bribes in exchange for using his political position to help private companies secure public contracts for violence prevention.

Trayon White

Anonymous said...

And Armstrong was later rewarded later with a job in COJ zoning. I encountered him when I was trying in vain to report an illegal personal care home. So I assume he still had plenty of dirt on everyone. Wonder what job Lee will get?

Anonymous said...

What I wanna know is how the FBI agents befriended Owens in the first place. C’mon KF spill the tea!

Anonymous said...

Jody, if as the DOJ and FBI claim you were present at the dinner at Walkers with Ms Lee and your so-called partners when they paid Ms Lee $3000 cash and promised her a shopping spree on their credit card n exchange for her vote(s), then you should resign NOW. Since they were your partners, you too effectively paid the Council member for her vote(s) and are as guilty as she is. At a minimum, you, as the DA, sat there and watched these people pay a Council member for her vote, something you know is illegal, and as the DA, you should have done something about it...stopped it, prosecuted it, etc. Your failure as the DA to report it and prosecute it, and to sit there and watch it happen, is at least a gross malfeasance of your office, and that alone warrants your resignation...NOW, not later, NOW. You're only delaying the inevitable.

Anonymous said...

KF —a better way to end this article is with that picture of the mayor, Owens , Archie, cristler and Bingham and other” unindicted, co-conspirators” playing cards in the back of Jody’s spot. Where’s that photo!

Anonymous said...

A junior attorney could have beat the Lee case on entrapment.

Anonymous said...

9:10, there is more to this story I bet. Me thinks that the Richards fiasco will come to light and Lee got more than a shopping spree.

Anonymous said...

And Lumumba straight up lied to everyone "that my phone has been messed up" in his presser the other week. Bald faced lied knowing the feds had his phone. Now he's talking about transparency, ethics & compliance at the Puerto Rico conference. You can't make this stuff up.

Anonymous said...

to : 9:10............guys like you are my favorite........................ yet another ''I'm not a lawyer but i play one on JJ''
you don't know much about entrapment do you?
you really should go back to playing your game boy.

Anonymous said...

9:10.... in the last 40 years of mississippi criminal jurisprudence i have seen 0 wins on entrapment.


Anonymous said...

tell me , up at the ''law school'' at parchmen prison , which you apparently attended, did they tell you that an entrapment defense requires the defendant to get on the stand and confess to the charge?
entrapment defense is what a criminal uses when there is nothing else left.

Anonymous said...

Ok KF....when will you reveal the real connection between Lie-Mumba and Richards? Quite a few in Jackson know but haven't heard you hint on it.

Anonymous said...

Seriously.

Anonymous said...

My father once said, "there are two types of people in this world, those who will do anything for a buck and those who will not."

Anonymous said...

So the morally bankrupt corrupt FBI is investigating morally bankrupt corrupt officials in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

8:49 a.m.: I think you may have overlooked the part where Owens (allegedly) ran $10K through his PAC to pay off Lee's old campaign debt, at her request.

Anonymous said...

@9:10 AM - You don't have a clue about "entrapment." They are very rare.
Example: LEO: "I'll give you $100 to rob that store."
"No way."
LEO: "OK, I'll give you $10,000,000 to rob that store."
"OK, I'll do it."

Anonymous said...

We discussed it here at the law office and we all have our opinions on this, but would like to see yours....as in the movie - "The Pelican Brief" when the FBI asked Darby Shaw...."so you're the little lady that started this bru-ha-ha....." who do you all think contacted the FBI and started this lovely little mess?

Anonymous said...

The book Hot Dog Money details a corrupt FBI agent ruining an investigation into corrupt college basketball recruiting. The sting caught no big fish; only assistant coaches. Let’s hope these FBI agents are better at their jobs and Lee is just the start.

Smirnov Paynoff said...

I'm shocked. Every time I transit through ATL, EWR, CLT, DTW, ORD, or JAN, I believe the Mayors' announcements about how that city is so pristine, cosmopolitan, and safe. Is it even possible that these cities are corrupt? That each asset is just a means for personal gain? I don't think we've ever seen corruption in these towns. Of course it's entrapment. How could a City Council member or Senator not deserve luxury goods for serving the public on a meager government salary? It's not like they are lazy goldbrickers or gold diggers!

Anonymous said...

"who do you all think contacted the FBI and started this" Hmm. Interesting question.

Anonymous said...

For what it is worth, the JCC is one of the only convention centers in the country without an adjacent hotel. Next time, build the hotel first.

Anonymous said...

What's the "real" connection? Please spill....

Anonymous said...

August 20, 2024 at 11:44 AM
Probably Kenneth Stokes. He alluded to it a year back.

Anonymous said...

The original idea for the convention center was to help Bernie Ebner’s train people in tech. Bernie folded while it was in the development phase. So it became a convention center.

Anonymous said...

About two years go I encountered third hand info about Chokwe soliciting bribes so I emailed a friend in the US Attorney's office and the FBI called me and wanted to hear what I had to say. Doubtless there was enough out there that the FBI set up a sting.

Anonymous said...

Next time make sure there’s a reason to have a convention there. When your city has the highest murder rate in America, nobody’s coming.

Anonymous said...

https://visit-jackson.s3.amazonaws.com/images/Downtown-Jackson-Mixed-Use-Development-RFP-July-2023.pdf?v=1689346779

Anonymous said...

Either COJ or JRA own the parcels. It seems like they would have published the RFP together, which they did. It appears on the websites for both entities. If no one bid on the 2023 RFP, it would be reasonable to assume it would be re-bid in some form. Meaning that Jody didn't necessarily have advanced knowledge of anything. Wondering about bid-rigging from city's end? Well, who was in charge of the committee that evaluated the RFQ?

Anonymous said...

Don't count on this federal case going anywhere else. It will be one large Cluster just like the trial of McHenry. The feds put him on trial only to have the Big Man testify that McHenry knew nothing...so he was exonerated. So, what we have here is a spending spree, some slippers and a T-shirt, a resignation and a piddly one-count charge of conspiracy by a woman who will get an ankle bracelet, at most.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Ben. I'll check it out.

Anonymous said...

I love your reporting JJ…and the comments make me laugh outloud! Such great entertainment as I enjoy my coffee this evening. I wonder though…Has anyone wondered who might have tipped off the Feds? Wished I’d thought of that!

Anonymous said...

When is the Justice Department going to take on the corruption of our top elected state officials past and present?


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


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Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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