Tuesday, May 29, 2018

BOLO for Brandon thief

The Brandon Police Department posted the following alert on Facebook.


Charles Darwin said...

Sometimes, you folks make my job too easy. You receive this week's award.

Anonymous said...

If you listen to the Rankin Police, Fire, and Rescue radio then you will have heard that for the last 3 months there has been a police chase involving an alleged shoplifter every single week. The alleged shoplifters are almost always chased into the City of Jackson. The chase always starts in Pearl/Brandon/Flowood.

Anonymous said...

Weird it’s almost like there is more crime in the burbs because Jackson is crap and we would all benefit from making Jackson less s—ty. Weird.

Anonymous said...

Problem is, no one can make Jackson less s——y except the people wallowing in the s——y city. To attempt to do otherwise is called gentrification and would be swiftly rebuked.

Anonymous said...

If you listen to the Rankin Police, Fire, and Rescue radio then you will have heard that for the last 3 months there has been a police chase involving criminals perpetrating a crime in Pearl/Brandon/Flowood. They always commit a felony by fleeing from law enforcement into the City of Jackson.

SoufSide Weezy said...

The crime sure is high in Niknar County. You know what would help everybody? Toll Booths. It’ll make Jackson a lot of money, and criminals would think twice about going to Niknar and Madison if they had to spend $1.50 each way. Yes, that means all you commuters that work in Jackson, own businesses in Jackson, see Me-Maw and Pawpaw in Eastover/ Leftover would pay to enter the city. #potholesolution

Anonymous said...

There’s nothing decent left to steal in Jackson...

Alert Niknar Citizens' Brigade said...

Who are these people who are listening to the Rankin Police, Fire, and Rescue radio every day for the past three months?

Asking for a friend who live in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

In the pictures on the left he looks like his wrists are shackled to his waist.

Maybe he's used to that position.

Wiseowl said...

When this guy is identified I hope you post his name. Should not take long.

Just sayin' said...

Round up the usual suspects.

Anonymous said...

All fleeing felons should be shot until said felon is no longer a threat to the public.

There will be very few police chases anymore.

Anonymous said...

"There’s nothing decent left to steal in Jackson..."


Just sayin' said...

Will the last honest person leaving Jackson please turn out the lights. Posted for a friend.

Anonymous said...

@10:33AM It's a smart move for anyone in the thriving economy of Rankin County who drives for a living to keep an ear on the police radio. You can get advance warning for accidents as well as the more frequently occurring police chases down Highway 80, I-20, and Lakeland Drive by Jacksonians attempting to flee back to their lawless warzone with ill-gotten loot.

Anonymous said...

According to Fuji in Brandon, MS he was caught already and is in custody.. Doesn't take very long in Rankin county to get the criminals.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS