Well, well, well, check out what our favorite ex-trooper posted on social media. Obviously it's a joke. Right?
Monday, March 11, 2024
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
37 comments:
We all know it's not a joke.
We all also know most of us guys would hire her, too.
Just spittin' facts.
Hahahahaha. Definitely a joke. I've seen her in shorts mowing the yard, nothing special and certainly not worth a hundred bucks an hour.
This is great for any law school or future employment aspirations. Maybe we are a few posts away from her dropping an OF link.
There's definitely nothing special about the woman. She's maybe a 6 out of 10. A classic narcissist is all she is.
I would not want to see her in a bikini even if she was paying me.
Don't have a pole in the yard, don't need a pole cat. Lot Lizard might pay 50/hr, does she like truckers?
At least we are sure the OF would pay bigly!
Does she really want to be stepping in all that dog poo mowing yards? IYKYK!
You would think her lawyers told her to cut this out !
Even Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, and Ronnie Millsap can see her mental issues!!
whats the name of the gun store that she owns in rankin county?
Poor ol' gal can't equate cost with value.
I'd say maybe $ 20.00 an hour, plus an additional $ 5.00 if she'll do the edging and blow off the driveway.
One stipulation. She has to keep her mouth shut.
I need to know if any of the said "activities" will be video recorded?
The woman is a flaming narcissist with an insatiable appetite for attention and admiration. She does and says provocative things to get her narcissistic supply. I'm glad she is no longer in law enforcement.
Such a great role model for young women.
Good way to not only ruin your name, but your non-profit's as well.
This chick needs a psych eval and a 72 hr hold.
Kingfish bloggers can't handle a strong woman!
I'd love the attention she's getting just like Taylor Swift.
And to top it off if you were her boyfriend you'd get a big discount on a HUGH gun. Wink. Wink.
and still no comment from the peanut gallery about the standing order for every trooper assigned to the governor to keep a bottle of bourbon in their vehicle at all times.
Yet the sexual-purity police are out in force.
I guess that's just easier.
Will she be riding or pushing? I’ll pay the $100 if I can hire her to mow in front of the Mississippi Highway Patrol Headquarters Building! I’m sure the brass will be peering out the windows.
I can hear the brass saying, “ look what we have created” Not we, you”.
Let’s all start thinking with the head between the ears!
Governor, I know you’re proud of your Top Brass!
SMH
I'm old, but I still remember what our high school football coaches told us sixty years ago about girls like that. And the 8mm health dept film scared me bigly.
12:24
She craves thousands of admirers, not a BF or GF.
@1:20 - Couldn't get any lawn jobs lined up today????
@ 1:20 Do you really equate troopers having a bottle of wiskey available anywhere near what this crazy woman has done?
Our government will not stand for her undercutting the illegals with her mowing business. I would rather pay her than pay people who waded the river to come here and mow lawns.
2:15, I think a head of state with a drinking problem so severe that he must have a bottle in any vehicle in which he might travel is far more serious that what this woman is doing, keeping in mind that she has not been criminally-charged.
If she is charged with a crime, then my calculus may change.
1:20
She has this on multiple social media accounts. She also put a post up yesterday about her birthday begging for money. Sadly, she is not kidding as much as she may see she is.
12:23 I am a licensed therapist for real, and I agree 100%. Thing is, everything I would diagnosis her with does not a cure unless you go through years of Behavior Management Therapy and we all know she will not do that. She thinks she has done nothing wrong. She lied to me and actually thought I would believe her when she said there is no video tape. Hello! You said it in response to the TRO.
@5:02 She has no shame and getting used to easy money.
March 11 1:30 PM -- excellent comment.
The AG’s office raided her store a week ago. If I were her attorney I’d quit.
@10:23 I'm sure her lawyers have attempted to tell her to cut this crap out but we all see there's no controlling this attention craving individual. It's obvious she needs money but she's to blind to think those of us who are normal can see through her.
Who supplies the lawn mower: her or me? Asking for a friend….
I pay close to that already for the lawn guy to do it with his clothes on.
4:15, I agree. But remember: Mississippi is a state which, during the "Pandemic", closed-down the churches, and closed-down the gyms, but kept the liquor stores open - and heroically tweaked laws, to allow pre-mixed drinks for hotel rooms, so that nobody quarantining before crossing state lines, would suffer the horrors of a sober hotel stay. And the way Mississippi's TV news was crowing about those canned cocktails, you'd have thought they'd found a cure for cancer.
You're right. Ivana represents ONE individual's deviance from accepted rules and norms. But the mandated patrol car bottle-o'-booze represents something sickeningly wrong with the SYSTEM and the values which shape it.
I glanced at her page, and the number of people commenting or liking a post and are affiliated with law enforcement is concerning. What happened to "good cops don't like bad cops"....the ones that consider themselves to be the good ones seem to be few and far between on her page.
Lay down with dogs and you're gonna get fleas.
Barney Fife: "I think she's a nut."
Not to distract from the salacious topic at hand, but...If MHP vehicles always have bourbon and 31 MS counties are still dry, does the Governor require that the MHP routinely violate state law when operating within a large portion (~38%) of the state? The elected head of our executive branch REQUIRES that the enforcement branch, which is within his purvue, violate the law...and they just do it?! If anyone is wondering about LEOs who break the law (Goon Squad, bad sherrifs, crooked PD), they need to look at the top. It starts there. If executive branch management openly flaunts the law, he has no standing to police the other police. I'm talking to you, Tater. The problem and the solution start. with. you.
Agreed, 9:36! It would be worthy of respect, for the guy running the state, to develop a backbone, and say, "Whether or not it was traditional, it was time for that tradition to come to an end."
That's all he'd have to say.
8:28: You are the only one that I'm aware of who has suggested that troopers having to keep booze on hand for the governor is simply a time-honored tradition.
No,9:33, I am the one assuming that "time-honored tradition" is one of the EXCUSES used to JUSTIFY the Patrol Car Bottle-O'-Booze.
There are always excuses for not draining The Swamp.
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