Thursday, January 25, 2024

It's Amazon!

Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

Amazon Web Services, Inc. (AWS) is investing $10 billion to establish multiple data center complexes in two Madison County industrial parks. The project is a planned $10 billion corporate investment and will create at least 1,000 high-paying, high-tech jobs.
 
This investment by AWS is the single largest capital investment in Mississippi history and four times the size of the previous largest economic development project.
 
AWS is the world’s most comprehensive and broadly adopted cloud. These data centers will enable customers of all sizes and across all industries, such as healthcare, manufacturing, automotive, financial services, public sector, telecom, and more, to transform their businesses. Millions of customers—including the fastest-growing startups, largest enterprises, and leading government agencies—are using AWS to lower costs, become more agile and innovate faster. The new data centers will contain computer servers, data storage drives, networking equipment, and other forms of technology infrastructure used to power cloud computing. 
 
Mississippi Major Economic Impact Authority funds will be used to assist with infrastructure needs, workforce training and site development.
 
QUOTES
 
“Mississippi has done it again. This record-shattering $10 billion private sector investment will not only create 1,000 high-tech, high-paying jobs for Mississippians, but it will result in our state remaining at the forefront of innovation. Mississippi is building a business climate that is ripe for further growth, especially in the technology sector. On top of that, we’re doing what it takes to prepare our workforce to take on these high-paying jobs of the future. There really is something special happening here in Mississippi, and the world is noticing.” – Gov. Tate Reeves
 
“MDA is proud to have been instrumental in the successful culmination of this transformative $10 billion project. This monumental win underscores Mississippi’s attractiveness for major investments and signifies a boost to our economic landscape. The high-quality, good-paying employment opportunities AWS is bringing to Madison County exemplifies our commitment to creating a stronger Mississippi and advancing the overall well-being of our communities. MDA is excited about the numerous positive impacts AWS will have on the state’s growth and prosperity, and we thank the AWS team for its well-placed confidence in our business climate and workforce.” – MDA Executive Director Bill Cork
 
Since 2011, AWS has invested more than $108 billion in its infrastructure across the United States to support customers of all kinds, and across all industries, in their digital transformation. Building on this, we are excited to expand our operations into Mississippi through this planned $10 billion investment, which will tap into the burgeoning tech sector across the state to create new, well-paying jobs and boost the state’s Gross Domestic Product each year. We look forward to delivering new workforce development opportunities and educational programs that support the next generation of talent across the Magnolia State.” – Roger Wehner, AWS Director of Economic Development
 
“We’re excited to welcome AWS to Mississippi. This project demonstrates that our state has the robust infrastructure, business-friendly environment and available talent supply needed for a high-tech industry to thrive. It also demonstrates that our company is providing the affordable, reliable and diverse power necessary to help our state recruit new industry. From construction through operation, it will create jobs, lead to ancillary business expansion and help our communities grow. We were proud to partner with the Mississippi Development Authority, the Governor’s Office, the Madison County Economic Development Authority and state leaders to bring this transformative opportunity to our state.” – Haley Fisackerly, President and CEO of Entergy Mississippi
 
“Today’s announcement is one for celebration and recognition of the tremendous economic momentum in Mississippi. Governor Reeves and his team have charted a course to growing opportunity for the people of this state, and this project will allow more Mississippians to thrive in the most cutting-edge jobs anywhere on this planet. We can’t wait to do our part to help make that a reality.” – AccelerateMS Executive Director Ryan Miller

  

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

Suck it to all you haters who say Mississippi can’t compete with TN and FL when it comes to attracting high tech industry!
And also, I’m sure getting rid of that traitorous flag also help us a lot!

Anonymous said...

Data centers going in everywhere.
https://www.ksl.com/article/50855355/colorado-based-company-acquires-land-for-another-data-center-in-eagle-mountain-

Anonymous said...

What a splendid opportunity for Madison County/Central MS, which can spawn impetus for support and complimentary businesses. It's very informative to read all the attending details here.

Anonymous said...

Corporate welfare. Just about any company will move here if you incentivize the deal with enough of that free money so generously provided by the taxpayers with the help of a RINO governor.

Anonymous said...

Waiting for a breakdown of these 1,000 tech jobs. Data centers do not employ that many people and I laugh when people argue. I work in IT.

Interested reader. said...

So, 4:58, are you suggesting that we not incentivize the deal to the extent that we make it happen. Are you suggesting that TN and other states don't do the same thing we are doing. How did that auto manufacturing plant work out in Canton. Please stop blaming the republicans.

Anonymous said...

I recently decommissioned both of my Alexa devices and deposited them into file thirteen. This Amazon thing is way creepy. Over and out.

Anonymous said...

the leading growth industry in this state , is , and always will be...........government.

Anonymous said...

Good for us!

Just tell Amazon they better bring their workers with them, because these people around here do not work on Mondays, Fridays, weekends or holidays.

They'll sue the shit out of you if you look at them wrong, use every excuse in the book to f--k off and overall suck in the workplace. Damn near zero efficiency. Oh and constantly talk about when they're going on break. lunch or anything other than what they should be talking about.

I was in Trustmark at Castlewoods last week and some teller was literally shouting across the room to a co-worker (with a customer) telling her about some kind of bullshit reward points he had. This really happened.

Other than that. we're good to go.

Anonymous said...

Good gosh, look at all the people taking credit. Kinda of like when a town got a post office back in the 1800s. I guess it’s a big deal when you get one. Just keep in mind they have hundreds of data centers and are spending $85 billion in Northern Virginia.

But this will be great for the business technology repair programs at the juco’s Congrats Missip!

Anonymous said...

Wow. This news sure brought the haters out.

Good for Amazon, good for Mississippi, and good for the metro. I’m one of the first Tater haters but he’s done well so far in his 2nd term.

Anonymous said...

Microsoft azure > Amazon aws

Anonymous said...

yes 6:15, saw the very same thing @ that Trustmark Branch!!!

Anonymous said...



6:15 I employ around 145 Mississippi folks, pay them a good living, have every available benefit and they show up every day. From reading your post I bet you are a joy (prick) to work with or for. Please just shut the hell up and let those that live, work and enjoy Mississippi celebrate a win

Anonymous said...

I think the two announcements this week are great for Mississippi. We need all the business and industry that we can get but let’s put it in perspective. One Memphis hospital is getting ready to expand its campus and will spend more on it than these two projects combined. It’s good news but far from changing life in Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

There will be some major palm grea$ing in this deal.

Anonymous said...

but what will it really be?

Just a normal dude said...

It's good to see that the nattering nabobs of negativity are out and about, and doing well. This is great news for everyone, even you. What is wrong with you people?

Anonymous said...

Amazon gets to be here tax free:
The legislation approved Thursday commits the state to provide $44 million through appropriations, plus multiple tax breaks. Those tax incentives include a permanent exemption of sales and use taxes on equipment purchases, other temporary sales and use tax exemptions, a 10-year exemption of corporate income taxes and a rebate of 3.15% of some construction costs. In addition, for 30 years the tax breaks will continue if Amazon makes an annual investment of $500 million and adds an additional 50 jobs a year.

Must be nice to be rich and get richer while citizens pay the highest sales tax on groceries in the nation.

Anonymous said...

@6:15pm - If you’re dumb enough to think that the workers you’re describing and bank tellers are going to be even remotely qualified for these data centers, well, I don’t know what to tell you bubba.

Anonymous said...

4:58, I laugh when some ass clown uses the term RINO. People who use that term are usually foaming-at-the-mouth ultra right wing brown shirt nut jobs referring to anyone not as conservative as them. They are generally not Republican themselves, but fascists. I’m not a fan of Tater, but he is a Republican.

Anonymous said...

Some interesting quotes from some interesting people. With those, things become a lot less murky even if the "announcements" are not more clear. Anyone interested might wish to research any unfamiliar names. Might lead to some interesting information. If I had to guess, based upon who is saying what, I'd guess that no one in the AMZN c-suite cares one where this or that couple of data centers are as long as it gets the job done and doesn't cause problems for the c-suite. In other words: "handle these trivial things without telling any lies we have to deal with later or writing any checks with your mouth that our asses will have to cover, and you'll do well with this firm. And if you can do it under-budget, there might be a little something extra come Christmas. There's a good lad, now run aong and make us some money, son."

Here's my take: It's real enough but it isn't what many or most will be allowed to assume. No one that can really piss in the punch bowl will likely do so by bothering to check anything out, asking too many questions, or holding anyone to strict read of previous statements, at least not publicly. Will this be a bad thing for Mississippi or its citizens and taxpayers? Almost certainly not. Will many plain ol' citizens get much if anything at all out of it? Nope. Will anyone be disabused of any overly-grand or optimistic assumptions? Nope. Will a favored few "locals" get a little extra slop in the trough for the next few years? Yep. Will the usual media suspects go poking around the edges. Probably. Will it amount to anything? Probably not.

Where could it get interesting? If anyone on the "supply side" tries to get too greedy (hey, it's da 'sip). If I had to guess again, given that it's Amazon/AWS it won't take too much bullshit to piss off the wrong people there. How much is too much? There is no handbook. Fuck around and find out, if I had to guess on that, too.

Anonymous said...

Why does Tate Reeves have anything to do with this?

Ben Dover Taxpayers said...

Grifting is easy when the grifters are dealing with country bumpkins like Tater.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidjeans/2021/08/19/data-in-the-dark-how-big-tech-secretly-secured-800-million-in-tax-breaks-for-data-centers/?sh=60d066b26b43

Anonymous said...


I wish this had been located in Issaquena County.

Anonymous said...

I’ve got me this big business that I want to locate in your state and not have to pay any taxes like your voters do. Can you make that happen for me?

Anonymous said...

Right, 6:10 -Issaquena County has everything an industrial prospect demands: A skilled or trainable workforce, highway/rail/electrical infrastructure, social amenities attractive to spouses and families, educational facilities, arts and entertainment for incoming management employees and family, restaurants, access to various religious and social institutions...

Anonymous said...

I’m not a fan of Tater, but he is a Republican.

Yes he is but Hosemann is not.

Anonymous said...

Geez, guys, give @ 6:15 a break..everyone on this site knows what he is talking about. No matter where you go around here you are met with rude, ignorant, entitled “employees “ that don’t give a shit about you , just how much fun they had last night! I just hope Amazon does a better job in training their employees because Kroger sucks at it!

Anonymous said...

I am excited for this! Good job Governor! I am glad they are being built in the metro Jackson area.

Anonymous said...

8:39 you might need to go back to 7th grade and learn how legislation, expenses, tax, infrastructure and branches of government work. Let’s just say without big guy ( Tate) signing off and probably helping draft legislation it would not have gotten done. 7th grad must have been hard

Anonymous said...

I see a nice hunting lodge in the future and maybe some beach homes. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

You just know that Chowke wishes he could get a piece of the mega-grift.

Anonymous said...

9:06am

The 7th grade? ROFL. Was that your last year of school? Do you think you got the all the details then or just a simplistic understanding of government?

Some of us went to graduate school in business when it wasn't a 1 year give away diploma. And, IF someone actually got an MBA, they didn't say they went to the name of the college or university business related classroom building but proudly could produce their diploma and certainly would be glad to have that college or university share their actual class standing.

Once upon a time (a mere 40 years ago), businesses start- ups were financed by investors, not taxpayers. Businesses actually bragged about being " good corporate citizens".

Sadly, economic history and ethics were scrapped.

And, some of us actually served in government...emphasis on the word SERVED. It was NOT how we earned a living!

Louis LeFleur said...

Interesting that the City of Ridgeland rezoned the Costas Lake property and some adjoining parcels to Technical Industrial Park in early November of last year.

Anonymous said...

I think the legislature should have sought AOC,s opinion about this proposed project before just giving Tate what he wants.

Anonymous said...

"...And, IF someone actually got an MBA, they didn't say they went to the name of the college ..."

Hmm - you must never have had to deal with any Wharton grads, did you? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Great for Amazon & Trifecta of green energy users are locating in Ms. But hate to see most of the billion dollars in the bank spent on supporting these businesses & nothing on Medicaid expansion, summer food program and expansion of trade-school scholarships. Amazon jobs will be mostly remote & battery production continues to be quite competitive.

Anonymous said...

And, FWIW, Tate had very LITTLE with helping land this deal other than he agreed to
give them $.

Anonymous said...

Those of you arguing over giving state tax breaks to get new businesses to locate here have no clue. Yall must want Mississippi to remain a 3rd world country where everyone sits on their porch living off the gubmint including yalls precious Medicaid. Y’all are effing stupid and prove it w every post.

Anonymous said...

@ 4:35 - Jan 25th. Yes, maybe so, but the center that just chose to locate in Madison County MS is the second largest in terms of investment yet to be put in place. The largest is the AWS center in Northern Virginia, that after several expansions now represents over $150 Billion investment.

The so-called $10 billion for Madison County is the second largest, and is actually expected (based on AWS's other projects) to end up over $18 billion. But, I'll settle for the $10 claimed.

And - 1:53 on Jan 26th - just what 'money' did the state 'give' this company? The only costs to the state is $42 million, with most of that going to workforce training. The expected payback of that massive state investment is predicted to be 10 months. Not a bad investment.

Yes, Tate individually probably had little to do with this deal - but without having an administration capable and willing to do this kind of deal; an administration that could have 'announced' this deal last October in the middle of a campaign but didn't because he was more interested in seeing it come to fruition; and that was willing to let the company that was investing its money in the project make the critical decisions and not impose political interests (location, who gets the contracts, etc) as some politicians think appropriate --- yes, Tate as Governor and his staff/agencies had a fair amount to do with this deal. As did Entergy and its ability to meet the electric needs, as did Madison County Economic Development and its having appropriate site that could accommodate the company's needs.

Anonymous said...

Just curious - what's the carbon footprint of these facilities estimated to be? I'm guessing we'll have to wait until they're operating to know for sure. Carbon emissions are something the state doesn't worry about, as far as I can tell. I'd just like to know if the question was ever asked, given the EV battery factory approved for Marshall County.

Anonymous said...

5:15PM wrote:

"...the center that just chose to locate in Madison County MS is the second largest in terms of investment yet to be put in place. The largest is the AWS center in Northern Virginia, that after several expansions now represents over $150 Billion investment.

The so-called $10 billion for Madison County is the second largest, and is actually expected (based on AWS's other projects) to end up over $18 billion. But, I'll settle for the $10 claimed.

And - 1:53 on Jan 26th - just what 'money' did the state 'give' this company? The only costs to the state is $42 million, with most of that going to workforce training. The expected payback of that massive state investment is predicted to be 10 months. Not a bad investment."

Please cite, other than public statements by those involved, anything to substantiate the following (and if it is based upon personal knowledge or experience, just state it as such):

1. The $150 billion you state AWS has invested in northern VA thus far.

2. a). The "over $18 billion" you state "for Madison County" is "actually expected" to be, b). Who is "actually expect(ing)" that amount, and, c). Where the money - whether $10 billion or over $18 billion - will be going. I'm not asking for anything remotely close to a full accounting of every dollar, just a few broad categories and the rough amounts you assign to each. As one large-dollar example, I think all reasonable people would agree that the construction of the physical facilities will bring actual money into the Madison County and Mississippi economies, the precise amount being determined by the contracting process as it progresses. I understand a lot of those details are unknown at this point so just assign what you believe to be a general dollar amount of that expected expenditure and if you can, provide whatever support for that amount. As a second example, provide a general dollar amount for the other fixed assets/"guts" of the facilities, such as server hardware, network gear, and related equipment, and what rough percentage, if any, you assign as being produced entirely or partially, or even assembled from outside-sourced parts, in Madison County or Mississippi. That isn't a trick question - the point is that buying $9.5 billion in fixed assets outside of Mississippi and installing it in a $500 million facility in Mississippi is not really a "$10 billion investment in Mississippi" and does nothing for the, ahem, "burgeoning tech sector across the state" (Roger Wehner, AWS, quoted above). However, a Mississippi company or division which buys $8.5 billion in components from outside the state and assembles them into $9.5 billion in market-value servers which are purchased by AWS does result in an economic event for the state (ala Nissan, HII/Ingalls, etc.). But that still isn't $10 billion "going to" Madison County or Mississippi.

3. a). The 10-month payback of the $42 (or $44) million for workforce training, and, b). Support your assertion that it will be "the only costs to the state." I am not saying you are wrong but you've really lost me on with that assertion. I have not seen anything remotely close, even wildly optimistic projections, that support such (and just because I have not seen such doesn't mean they have not been made or are wrong, but...).

Note to KF - my request is sincere, I think at least some others would be interested in the answers, and so if you allow this and the OP responses I'd ask that you allow it, too. It's your benevolent dictatorship but I'd suggest that some amount of actual discussion isn't a terrible thing. And I say that as one of the frequent class clown wise-asses.

Anonymous said...

@801 - you got your facts wrong, I assume purposefully just to make your claim sound better.

No, AWS does not get a permanent sales/use tax exemption -it gets it for the period of construction and one year after completion, on equipment purchased for the project. It gets the 3 1/2% rebate of some construction costs because the contractor will have to pay sales tax on the contract cost.

It does get a ten year exemption on corporate income taxes - which of course they would not be paying if they never located, so this did not cost the state anything. And they can extend this exemption for every year they invest a minimum of an addtional $500 million and add 50 more employees.

The only money the state is spending for this project is the $40 million of which $35 million is going to be spent training the workforce required (not being given to Amazon, but generally to Mississippi schools, jucos and universities. And, the state will recoup that money within the first ten months of opertion.

Madison County is going to spend $250 million on infrastructure - roads, water, sewer and a new fire station. The payments for that expenditure will be paid to Madison County within the first 18 months of operation through the 'in lieu' taxes that the company will be paying.

As an aside - Canton Public Schools, with their 1100 student population - will be receiving approximately $30 MILLION every year from the in lieu taxes paid by AWS, and Ridgeland schools will be receiving almost $11 million per year. (City of Canton receives nothing, just the school district, which already has the nicest facilities of any school in the state from the in lieu taxes it receives due to Nissan.)

So - back off of your bullshit claims until you decide to actually read the specifics of the deal. This is the cheapest economic development project this state -- or any --- has ever seen.

Anonymous said...

1012 am - 40 years ago crap! Ever heard of the BAWI program that started in Mississippi in the late 40's? Damn near every manufacturing plant in the state built in the 50's through your time frame of mid-80's was funded with BAWI or some similar program.

How about Ingalls - started in the 70's with massive support from the state and remains the state's largest employer.

Chevron's refinery in Jackson County started many decades (more than 40) ago with substantial assistance and tax breaks offered, and many more given over the years since for expansion (as has also been done with Ingalls BTW)

Have there been some done without any state assistance? Yes - this AWS project will be one. There is not a dollar of state money going into this project - other than to provide the things that government provides: Water, sewer, roads, basic infrastructure. And training for the workforce - something our juco system has supposed to have been providing for more decades than your four. The deal with this project is that it will require the education system to greatly expand its programs to meet the needs of this new employer (just like the jucos do today for ANY business within their service area; hospitals through construction through manufacturing companies)

 

Anonymous said...

Just here to say y'all would b**** about anything announced.
Me thinks some of you who seem to be so ignorant need to participate the STEM programs to be offered and with MS funding assistance.
Use your brains if you can.
This did not happen overnight, this conversation started in 2018 or so.
If you would really pay attention, ask questions you would know what you know as facts. Yes most is confidential as it should be.
For the record, Amazon fully paid for the first 3 lane road into this area of the County Megasite and did not ask for a $ in repayment.
They knew exactly what their goals were.
NOW we have it~ The added AWS site.
YES the state makes a deal. Yes there are perks. IE: certain taxes not paid for xx # of years.
Happens in almost every large Economic Development "deal" state line to state line.

Who wants to complain about that?



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.