Friday, May 27, 2022

Texas DPS Colonel: Police Waited Too Long

While a deranged gunman massacred children at a Uvalde, Texas elementary school as police officers stood outside in the hallway for almost an hour, waiting for "tactical equipment," said  Texas Department of Public Safety Colonel Steven McCraw at a press conference today.  At times visibly shaken, the Colonel provided a timeline of events and 911 calls.  Uvalde is indeed a nightmare that becomes more horrific with each new detail reported.  The timelines, press conference, and other information are posted below. 


 Timeline of Events

11:27: An exterior door was propped open by a teacher

11:28: The killer (His name nor "suspect" will be used.) crashed in ditch.  The teacher runs out to retrieve her phone, runs back in school, and leaves door propped open.  (You read that correctly.)

Two males at a nearby funeral home went to the crash scene.  They saw the killer exit the vehicle with a backpack.  He fired at the two men, missing them, and ran.  

11:30: A teacher reports to 911 there was a crash at the school and a man with a gun. 

11:31: The killer reached the "last row of vehicles in the school parking lot."  He began shooting at the school as patrol vehicles reached the funeral home.  No school resource officer was present nor did one confront the killer as earlier reported.  The district only has six SRO's for eight public schools.  

The killer began shooting from in-between vehicles.  A SRO heard the radio, arrived on campus, drove right past the killer to the back of the school where he thought he was. 

11:33: The killer enters the school through the propped open door.  He almost immediately begins shooting.  He fired more than 100 rounds at several classrooms.  

11:35: Three police officers enter the same door.  Four police officers soon followed them.  Two went into the door and received "grazing" wounds

11:37: 16 more rounds were fired. 

11:51: A police sergeant and USBA agents arrive. 

12:03: More officers arrived.  There were as many as 19 officers in the hallway.  However, the on-scene commander deemed the situation to be too dangerous and decided to wait for the arrival of tactical equipment. (See 18:50).  

12:15: Bor-Tac agents arrived. 

12:21: Killer fired again.  Officers moved down the hallway. 

12:50: Officers breached the door with a master key and killed the suspect. 


911 Timeline

12:03: Woman called from classroom and "whispered he's in room 112."  Colonel McCraw became visibly shaken as he read the 911 calls out to the media. 

12:10: She called back, advised there were multiple dead. 

12:13: She called back and said there were 8-9 students alive. 

12:19: Person called from room 111.  Hung up when another student told her to hang up. 

12:21: 911 operators could hear three shots fired. 

12:36: 21 second call. Child is told to say on the line and be quiet.  Child said "he shot the door." 

12:46: She could hear the police next door. 

12:50: Shots are fired. 

12:51: Sounds like officers are moving children out of the room.

Notes from Press Conference

* There were 58 magazines at the scene.  11 were inside the school and 3 were on the killer's body.  31 magazines were in his backpack but he did not take the backpack into the school.  The killer had 1,657 rounds of ammunition.  There were 142 spent cartridges.  

* There were 35 spent law enforcement cartridges in the school.  8 such cartridges were in the hallway while 27 were in the classroom. 

* The killer's sister refused to help him buy a gun last September.  

*The killer discussed school shootings and buying guns in Instagram chats in February and March. 

* The on-scene commander though the situation had transferred from an active shooter to a barricaded subject.  Colonel McGraw said "obviously" it was still an actives shooter situation. 

* Colonel McGraw said from the benefit of hindsight, waiting for tactical equipment was "of course the wrong decision.  From what we know, we believe there should have been an entry as soon as you can.  When there is an active shooter, the rules change.  We don't have time.  You don't worry about outer perimeters."  


Notes from other news coverage

* “The police were doing nothing,” said Angeli Rose Gomez, who after learning about the shooting drove 40 miles to Robb Elementary, where her children are in second and third grade. “They were just standing outside the fence. They weren’t going in there or running anywhere.”..

 Ms. Gomez, a farm supervisor, was also waiting outside for her children. She said she was one of numerous parents who began encouraging—first politely, and then with more urgency—police and other law enforcement to enter the school sooner. After a few minutes, she said, U.S. Marshals put her in handcuffs, telling her she was being arrested for intervening in an active investigation.

 Ms. Gomez described the scene as frantic. She said she saw a father tackled and thrown to the ground by police and a third pepper-sprayed. Once freed from her cuffs, Ms. Gomez made her distance from the crowd, jumped the school fence, and ran inside to grab her two children. She sprinted out of the school with them. Wall Street Journal

* “When the cops came, the cop said: 'Yell if you need help!' And one of the persons in my class said 'help.' The guy overheard and he came in and shot her," the boy said. "The cop barged into that classroom. The guy shot at the cop. And the cops started shooting.” KENS5



* An off-duty US Customs and Border Protection agent fearlessly rushed into Robb Elementary School with his barber’s shotgun and rescued dozens of children and his daughter after his wife texted him that there was an active shooter.

Jacob Albarado had just sat down for a haircut when he received the horrifying message from his wife, Trisha, a fourth-grade teacher at the Uvalde, Texas, elementary school, he told the New York Times.

“There’s an active shooter,” she wrote. “Help,” she sent before sending a chilling: “I love you.”

He immediately leaped out of his seat, grabbed the barber’s shotgun and sped off toward the school.

His daughter, a second-grader, was locked inside a bathroom while his wife hid under desks with her students, the Times reported. 

A tactical team was preparing to enter the school when Albarado arrived. Desperate to get his daughter and wife out, he made a plan with other officers to try to enter the school and evacuate as many students as possible.... New York Post

Kingfish note:  What comes to mind when watching this post? Horror.  Genocide.  Blood.  Cowardice. Incompetence. Several Sheriffs and Chiefs told JJ it takes up to 60-90 minutes for a SWAT team to suit up.  What the hell did the cops think was going to happen.  As for the killer barricading himself? When the hell has a school shooter every negotiated in this country? We are not talking about PLO terrorists who have a goal in mind but pyschotic kids with a death wish.  

The briefing reminds one of the Cowards of Broward County several years ago. As was once said about Louis XIV, we have learned nothing and forgotten everything.  

The Romans had a simple way to deal with wholesale cowardice that was only used in extreme situations.  Decimation.  However, we are a more civilized people today.  


Retired LEO supervisor said...

With 10 years on special operations tactical team, and more than 150 high risk entries. Whoever gave the orders to stand-down need/s to be prosecuted for ~20 counts of manslaughter, at a minimum.

Anonymous said...

Quite similar to the coward from broward. Hopefully the police will be prosecuted for their failure. Why pay them if they are too scared to do the job? All that swat gear and tanks are just for the photo ops.

Anonymous said...

All praise the thin yellow line. They can not be questioned. Kingfish, be careful with your criticism, a lot of folks will interpret that as calling for the defunding of the police.

Anonymous said...

Contrary to the left's anti-gun narrative, this is not GUN VIOLENCE, it is PEOPLE VIOLENCE commited by a disturbed young man looking for attention, encouraged by the medias 24/7 coverage of anything gun related.

If the pols want to save the lives of kids 9and adults), require seat belts on all buses.

More than 50,000 people are killed in the US every year in vehicle accidents. Are we going to outlaw vehicles?


Anonymous said...

Teacher propped open exterior door. Why?

Anonymous said...

After 3 years of being told how evil they are and hearing people chanting to eliminate their jobs, it’s got to be hard to be a cop.

Anonymous said...

This whole thing is fishy as fuck. But the lawsuit against Alex Jones solidified that nobody dare question the official narrative!

Anonymous said...

maybe people will start to realize that the pigs aren't there to help you or protect you. they are only there to protect the interests of capital. 20 dead children was deemed an acceptable loss.

there should have been a killing field of dead police between the shooter and the school before he got in.

turns out they're cowards in tacticool gear that only feel like engaging violence when they have overwhelming force.

Never Ever Let a Crisis Go to Waste said...

The anti-gun left wing politicians across the land pray for tragedies like this to push more gun-take-away legislation.

Anonymous said...

95% of this mass killers give off signals such as threats and internet posts, that they are going to perpetrate a mass killing.
this one was no exception.
the nicolas cruz case at the florida high school was no exception.
cruz did everything except send the cops a date and time invitation.
problem is law enforcement is too stinking lazy to put these people under surveillance for a minimum of 16 hours per day.
don't give me any crap about ''not having the manpower''.
mobsters of the 5 new york crime families were kept under constant surveillance for years.
cops dont want to be assigned to a surveillance detail. they think it's boring.
cops just want to ride around in their high powered vehicles and invest crimes, pose for the media with their guns and uniforms , big muscles and butch haircuts.

Anonymous said...

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Multiple brave Border Patrol agents entered that classroom, and one shot that miscreant dead, after the shooter shot him in the head with a grazing wound. Now, the officers who cowered out in the hallway while those little kids were being murdered should be immediately fired, possibly even prosecuted.

I own many guns to hunt with, and a pistol for protection. I’m far from a left wing gun control nut. However, I don’t own or need a weapon of war like the one this 18 year old teenager bought and used in his murder spree. Common decency tells us that if a person has to be 21 to buy beer, an 18 year old should not be able to buy an assault rifle.

Anonymous said...

to dont know much about law enforcement do you?
its mostly a bunch of thug punks that they send to an academy for 6 weeks and then they give them a gun , a badge and a car that goes 130 mph.
at that point they go out on the street and see how many crimes they can manufacture and / or invent.
only about 5% of LEOs have any professionalism about them.
and when and if one ever gets fired, there are dozens of jurisdictions just waiting to give said reject another job.

Anonymous said...

At some point, the right has to decide what they value more, kids getting gunned down or role playing as Rambo. We see how these officers reacted when they got their chance to be actual heroes and I bet 99% of gun owners would act just as cowardly.

Krusatyr said...

Hero in story is off duty Border Guard who was getting a haircut when he heard about shooting, took a shotgun from barber and hurried straight to school to get his daughter and some students out of a classroom, then busted into the classroom where kids were shot and killed the shooter.

Above is as I have twice heard it.

Anonymous said...

Plus 1 for the barber with the shotgun. Sounds like a good place to get a haircut.

Anonymous said...

Not a tough guy here, but do hopelessly love my children. If I came a scene like that with active shooter and cops are standing outside arresting parents it wouldn’t be long before I would be shooting at police. I mean get your got damn ass outta the way. Give your gun to someone who will use it and go home. Unbearable I say prosecute them all.

Anonymous said...

"This whole thing is fishy as fuck".

Agreed 3:57.

Anonymous said...

Anger and sadness. That’s all I have. God bless those sweet kids that died, those that live on w the memory, the families of the parents who fought for their kids and were punished and those who would have if they were there.

And may God bless those who made and/or followed those horrifically wrong orders. I can’t imagine having all that blood on my hands.

Anonymous said...


Your haircut dude was not a part of the BORTAC team that breached the room and shot the coward that was killing kids.

He is one of the LEOs people are concerned that were able to get to their loved ones while others were made to stand down and not stop the killing.

Anonymous said...

Beto was right. He will be the next Governor.

Anonymous said...

Some here have rushed into danger and saved a life: have you? The hesitant cops probably weren't trained or led properly.

Anonymous said...

Agree with 6:10. MANY good cops have retired or quit due to all of the defunding uproar since 2020. This fiasco reflects on leadership, all the way up to the state and national leaders who don’t support law enforcement. If we don’t turn the defunding sentiment soon, we will be protected by mere unarmed mall cops.

Anonymous said...

A failure of leadership on multiple levels. Failure on the school’s part as the door should have never been propped open allowing easy entry. Failure of leadership on the part of those in command of the cops that should have sent them in. As tragic as this is, I hope we learn from it.

Anonymous said...

7:45, yes leadership failure. All the way up to AOC, Biden, Obama and the rest who have deflated every cop in America.

Anonymous said...

For an hour, police played traffic cop while school children were being slaughtered. In the long and storied annals of U.S. mass shootings, this has got to be the Worst. Fuckup. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Cops were probably debating how not to face the wrath of CNN and AOC in the event the perp got injured. Just what the defunders want. Libs did this, not the cops

Anonymous said...

Retired LEO. Active shooter instructor. I'm getting to the point where I think we need to DISARM COPS.

If folks with a tin and a pistol, much less all the Cool Guy Gear, are going to Eff up, like in Newtown, Florida, and Uvalde, we have come to the situation where either through incompetence or cowardice, we have continued to allow "calls for SWAT," PD turf battles, poor training, and lack of bravery or lack of will to shove aside morons desperate to be "in charge" to let kids be killed.

In Newtown, the cops were there in 2 minutes. But they hung up on an unarmed Dad trying to save his kid. Then, the Coward in Broward stood by as kids were slaughtered. Incompetence, cowardice, and shameful acts.

Here, failure to form a team instantly and combat the shooter. Failure even to allow others to do so. Impeding parents who were willing to go in unarmed while some played dress up in tac gear. Allowing a BP guy to go into the scene to rescue HIS KID and HIS WIFE, while holding others back. That's criminal negligence at best.

We teach Go to the Sound of the Guns, and kill the shooter. There was no excuse to not engage the guy, to breach the door, by whatever means necessary. All units should be equipped with sledges, Halligan bars, crow bars, whatever is needed.

If on top of this, some Cop shouted "Yell if you need Help," whereupon a little girl cried for help and was gunned down by the perp, we have a completely incompetent cop, who must think he's a fireman.

I want to vomit thinking of the idiocy of this crew, at a time of greatest need. The "Golden Hour" lost! BorTac guys "held back?" Who the hell was "in charge?" Morons.

Give guns to good people able, willing, and able to save lives. Maybe teachers. Maybe a janitor. Anything but a coward cop or a stupid one.

Anonymous said...

to all the little pissy punk ass POSs that run around screaming ''defund the police''.....well rest assured that aint gonna happen.
nothing but talk that will fade into history just like nancy regain and ''just say no''.

Anonymous said...

6:44 is a little ,chicken little running around chirping that ''the sky is falling '',

Anonymous said...

Both the shooters in Maryland and Texas were radicalized on 4chan. The Comet Ping Pong Pizza shooter was radicalized on 4chan. Most of the Q anon nutjobs were radicalized on 8chan and 4chan. I personally know multiple unhinged former Q anon nutjobs who believe the world can be summed up in an infographic they saw on /pol/. They don’t even understand that they are taking an anime website way too seriously.
It’s clear that Boomers and Zoomers can’t psychologically handle the free speech and extreme trolling of 4chan. It was created by a millennial for millennials.

Anonymous said...

6:09,are you nuts? Beto would have had the shooter put in "time out" after he would have killed everyone in the school.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing fishy about what happened in Uvalde.

Incompentent leadership from the folks that brought you the ERCOT blackouts and President Dumbya?

Coverups, lies, blame shifting, bogus excuses and this may kids shot dead while the police failed to do their jobs?

The town has 15,000 inabitants and the murderer was shooting outside the school for 10 effing inutes before he even entered the school and started killing?

What the hell happened to keep thw police fro responding in a timely fashion? Stuck in a traffic jam at the donut drivethru?

This whole thing is Texas as fuck!

Anonymous said...

Contrary to the left's anti-gun narrative, this is not GUN VIOLENCE, it is PEOPLE VIOLENCE commited by a disturbed young man looking for attention, encouraged by the medias 24/7 coverage of anything gun related.

If the pols want to save the lives of kids 9and adults), require seat belts on all buses.

More than 50,000 people are killed in the US every year in vehicle accidents. Are we going to outlaw vehicles?


That was the dumbest comment posted up here in a long time! 🙄

Anonymous said...

It was one big cluster F**k.
1.) The school let the kids down.
A.) Doors unlocked.
B.) School resource (police} officer not on duty.
c.) Classrooms unlocked.
d.) Principle didn't declare lockdown after alert went out of polive systems.
2.) Police stood by instead of charging the school.
3.) Online gun store sold 7 30 rounds mags & 2 AR type rifles to 18-year-old.
Those kids didn't stand a chance.
Same thing happened in Sandy Hook. School police ran away from gun fire. History repeats itself.

Anonymous said...

1600 rounds of ammo! Audie Murphy did not have that much on him at the Colmar Pocket. Multiple failures on many levels in this scenario. Somethings are seriously wrong here!!!

Anonymous said...

What? Cops couldn't find somebody's barking dog to shoot and secure the scene before going in?

But, seriously, the primary purpose of cops is to make the report that your insurance company requires before they'll consider paying your claim. The rest of that "put their lives on the line every day" blabbity blab is bullshit.

Anonymous said...

8:37, thank you for meaningfully adding to the post. Glad to read your perspective and know people with sense actually teach this stuff.

Anonymous said...

While being a supporter of those who wear the badge, I view Uvalde as one of the worst law enforcement failures in modern history. When children are being shot you go in with whatever weapon and manpower you have-and go in NOW!
Biding time is a road to disaster as demonstrated here. Quick response time is the number one enemy to an active shooter situation. Active shooter+time=bloodbath.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know you could by a gun online?

Kingfish said...

Online gun store sold 7 30 rounds mags & 2 AR type rifles to 18-year-old.

Not so fast. He might have bought a rifle online but it has to be shipped to an FFL dealer. He still has to go through the same background checks as if he purchased it at the gun store in person.

The part about the SRO not being on duty is not true. There are only six officers for the eight school district. Protocol is usually to focus them on the junior high and high schools in many districts. He was on the scene pretty quickly.

As for leaving doors propped open, it happens quite a bit. In fact, there is one school west of Jackson known for quality education that locks them with keypads. Guess what? The kids leave toothpicks and paper in them.

Anonymous said...

It's clear Texas isn't training or is unable to successfully recruit competent law enforcement.

NO ONE thought to ask if there were a key to the damn door for 40 minutes.

NO THINKING of " how
can we get in?"

But, hey, y'all keeping elected incompetent, inexperienced people who appoint their friends and relatives who hired their friends and neighbors.

Remember your name and shaking your hand or making you think they actually would hang out with you if it weren't required or is not any more knowledgeable about complex problems or say, math, than you is how you decide.

There's YOUR tribe!

Anonymous said...

That highly trained Uvalda police force and swat team, accounting for 40% of the city's budget, are cowards who provided security for a murderer, allowing him to continue to kill and preventing others from saving injured children. Despicable. No excuses. The "good guys" were a bunch of spineless posers. End of discussion.

Anonymous said...

Not that it matters too much but the Uvalde School District had their own police department separate from Uvalde PD. (Sorta like Biloxi and Biloxi School District PD).

I’m sure what will come out will be an Incident Command issue and who was “in charge.” I’ve read the Uvalde School Police Chief was the one that gave the order not to breach. He was just elected to the Uvalde government board.

Anonymous said...

I guess its too easy to think they could go to the next classroom & lift a ceiling panel on the common wall separating the two rooms to view and/or quickly dispatch the turd.

In many (if not most) bldgs like that, the interior walls don''t go all the way to the roof.

Nah... couldn't be that simple.

Anonymous said...

Reply to
May 28, 2022 at 10:26 AM
May 28, 2022 at 10:38 AM

Kingfish You are such A bring Down Bummer, Man.
You can go to Daniel Defense website and purchase the exact gun

DDM4 V7 $1870.00
Shipping 0.00
Taxes 154.28
Total 2024.28

They say on the website they will ship it to your nearest FFL dealer. You must bring a valid picture id & fill out all required forms.
Also, I don't think may 10 year year old are capable of sticking a toothpick in a door to jam it open. But, I could be wrong.

Anonymous said...

" I’ve read the Uvalde School Police Chief was the one that gave the order not to breach. He was just elected to the Uvalde government board. "

Can he serve from a prison cell? That's where he belongs.

Anonymous said...

The parents should have shot the coward police and gone to save their children themselves. Let that happen at my kids school and it’ll be a whole different story. I might be dead. But no damn lazy ass cop will stand between me and my endangered children.

Anonymous said...

cops are nothing but civilian military.
that's why they have corporals, sergeants, lieutenants , and captains.
you join the military to get killed . thats you're job. you know that going in.
when something happens you better be ready to dive in head first, because thats what you are paid to do.
in the history of this country many soldiers and sailors have been shot or hung for cowardice. its part of the job.

the same rules should apply to law enforcement. if you haven't got the guts or the stomach to go straight into a fire fight and risk your neck , you need to get out .

Anonymous said...

10:@7 gets it right............
fear creates hesitation..............
and hesitation will make your worst fears come true.........

Anonymous said...

Lots of Monday Morning Swat members here . Awesome! I’m sure most here would have had a better plan than to just sit on their thumbs while kids die. What I’d like to know is how the devil’s spawn managed to purchase two $2000.00 dollar rifle’s, 1600 rds of ammunition, tactical gear including body armor all while being unemployed and living with grandma? Someone either gave him the cash or he robbed the 1st National Bank. One has to wonder just why a kid would throw his life away and take others with him. Either way folks, America is in trouble big time.

We’ve raised a generation of killer acorns and the nuts are falling out of the trees! All those years parents pushed kids out of their face’s and into their bedrooms to play ultra violent video games has come full circle. Now it’s time to pay the piper and no one knows why this is happening. It’s those guns, those evil guns. It couldn’t be my kid!

Kingfish said...

He apparently had a job flipping burgers. The Colonel said he paid for it all with his debit card.

Anonymous said...

@11:26 - kids all over the world play video games and have the same mental health problem we have in the states. The difference is easy and unregulated access to assault rifles for suicidal teens.

Anonymous said...

Texas is one of the most successful red states in the Union. They don’t give 2 shites what the democratic arm of America thinks of them. This has shit to do with Biden or AOC. Stop trying to politicize this. America has a violence problem, not a democratic/republican problem.

Anonymous said...

God I love reading the comments here. It really gives you a sense of what’s wrong with america. There are like 50+ comments now. Just a couple actually talk about what the real problem is here: too many guns in the public domaine, specifically assault rifles. There are multiple comments hinting at how this might be a conspiracy from AOC and the dems (lol). Many comments about how this is the result of society breaking down and so many more idiotic lines of thought.

But you know what, Canadians watch the same violent movies we do. They play the same video games. They listen to the same music. They have mental illness too. But you know what the don't have? Mass shootings every week! Coincidentally they also have much stricter gun laws.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s the guns?!?! But keep doing absolutely nothing meaningful about it and pretend like things will somehow change. America is fucked, but not for the reasons you cry about on this blog. If you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

Kingfish said...

You also don't have the same free speech rights, freedom of worship rights, and due process in Canada. They just expanded emergency powers of the government. Check out what they are.

People say look at Japan's gun laws. Ok. Now look at the Ghosn case. Man in the Iron Mask stuff and that is regular procedure over there. Australia banned guns. The country turned into a poor man's concentration camp during Covid.

I read the SC decision from the 70's that severely curtailed the forced institutionalization of mentally ill. The facts of the case were horrific and it was pretty clear after just reading the facts the Court was going to rule one way and one way only. Can't say I blame the Court. However, we now have nearly 50 years of data. Perhaps its time for the Court to revisit the issue.

The decision ruling students had due process rights deserves another look as well. It turned the lawyers loose and made schools risk averse to enforcing discipline.

The Zero Tolerance policy might be flawed. The Zero Tolerance policy does nothing to the bullies and keeps their targets from defending themselves. The bullies and/or their families don't care. The kid who is being picked on should be able to defend himself but now too many parents have to tell their kids to not fight back because they will get suspended or expelled.

Kingfish said...

Get something straight. Some of the police officers took fire and were injured. The BPA who took him down suffered a "grazing" head wound. Some readers are saying the police suffered no injuries. Not true at all.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS