Tuesday, November 5, 2019

If Asked, LIE!!!

Want to have some election day fun?



16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Only a fool would answer the phone during election time and tell the pollsters who they plan to vote for and why.

Hood stands a good chance of winning this election because many people are publicly claiming to support Tate while actually voting for Hood.

Anonymous said...

We don't have exit polls in Mississippi.
When you insert your paper ballot into the voting scanner it reads it & electronically and sends it to election headquarters. So the vote is counted as you vote.

OldManYakking said...

I loved Mike Royko's columns...didn't always agree with him, but really appreciated his ability to make a topic come alive for the reader. I wonder how many of those columns he wrote after (or during) a visit to the Billy Goat Tavern???
Still miss you, Mike!

Louis LeFleur said...

We could use another Mike Royko these days, but those days are gone forever I'm afraid.

Anonymous said...

1:24 - you are incorrect about your scanned vote being sent to "Election Headquarters". True enough, your ballot is run through a scanner but it is scanned and recorded on a memory card with in the scanner. When the polls are closed the precinct staff remove the memory cards from the scanners, seal them in the appropriate containers for transport to the county circuit clerks office. There the memory cards are then down loaded and votes are tabulated at that point. Sometimes its after midnight before all the precincts deliver their card and affidavit ballots. Also, all absentee ballots are scanned at the courthouse at which point the arguing starts about affidavit ballots......so the story goes.

Anonymous said...

uh, not quite, Mr. 1:24 - the votes are stored in the vote machine at the precinct until the poll closes. Then the flash drive from the machine is removed and transported to the county where it is uploaded and added to the other results of the county precincts.

Anonymous said...

@1:24, you are wrong the machines don't "send the votes to election headquarters". To be able to do what you say, polling places would have to have the internet available, and many do not. The machines electronically record the votes, then at the end of the day, the poll manager get the machines to print out the results. These results are then taken, along with all the ballots, to the courthouse to be officially recorded.

Louis LeFleur said...

1:24, I do not believe that is correct. Nothing is transmitted electronically. That's one of Delbert's claims as to how Mississippi voting can't be tampered with electronically. According to the Mississippi County Election Handbook, all votes are tallied at the respective precinct/poll, place in a sealed ballot box, and delivered in person to county Election Central. This includes scanned votes; they are tallied locally and never transmitted electronically. You might think so in this day and age, but keeping the old method combined with newer technology is a safety measure to prevent ballot tampering.

Anonymous said...

Excellent!

Anonymous said...

1:24, yeah, no...there is no "election headquarters" votes are counted by precinct, certified and then aggregated into final counts which are then certified by the SoS.

Anonymous said...

Sure miss his columns. He had a way with words that we seldom see these days.

Anon-E-Mouse said...

It’s ok 1:06. I claimed I was going to vote for Jim Hood, by pulled the lever for tater tot.

/been claiming I’d do it for months and have been polled more than once.

TheClintonscantsuicideusall said...

Lesser of two evils. Voted for the Tot and not Barb and Ed. Didn't like the idea of Jimmie living in a trailer out behind the Mansion.

Anonymous said...

Never, ever, connect voting machines to the internet. That is the making of serious mischief, typically from China, Russia, Iran, and N. Korea.

Ain't Nunna That Round Here.. said...

1:24...an exit poll is simply some rotund bumpkin standing outside the polling place asking folks how they voted. And 'we don't have those in Mississippi'? Your ignorance is on full display today.

Anonymous said...

If you are voting via a computer scanner, it can be hacked.



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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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