Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Rhythm & Blues Festival brings the blues - money blues.

The Jackson Rhythm and Blues Festival has brought nothing but blues to the Jackson Visitors and Convention Bureau since it began in 2013.  A PEER report states that the festival loses nearly $600,000 per year and has lost $2.4 million since it began in 2013. The Bureau discontinued the festival late last year. 

The report paints the picture of an entertainment money pit.  The average revenues are only $213,772 per year while the average expenses are $810,819 per year.   The festival did quite well in obtaining "in-kind sponsors" but fared poorly in attracting cash sponsors.  Cash sponsors only covered 3% to 11$ of expenses.   Such sponsorships have been rather meager as they averaged only $57,000 per year.  The peak was only $95,300 in 2015.  Unfortunately for the festival,  event costs averaged over three-quarters of a million dollars each year.


The festival spent its first three years at the Ag Museum on Lakeland Drive but moved to the Jackson Convention Complex in 2016 - where it had its worst attendance ever (Nice, sunny outdoors v. the monolith from 2001.  What a surprise.).    The attendance has declined since 2014.

2013: 5,600
2014: 9,416
2015: 4,215
2016: 4,092

JCVB's bottom line shows the festival's impact as it has caused the bureau to operate in the red several times since 2013.  JCVB's annual profits and losses are posted below (The operating profit/loss without the festival's impact is included in parenthesis).

2013: $2,774 ($672,048)
2014: -$286,214 ($282,431)
2015: $4,335 ($695,963)
2016: -$176,774 ($331,868)

The news just gets worse as one reads through the report.  Ticket sales did not even cover performer fees (P.4).  The fees exceeded the ticket sales by an average of $175,517.  $344,070 was paid to, you guessed it, a consultant. 

The festival continued in 2017 but the financial information for that year is not included in the report.    State Senator John Horhn requested the report.  Mr. Horhn said he had received several complaints that the Bureau was losing large amounts of money on the festival and asked PEER to investigate.



69 comments:

Anonymous said...

Looks like the consultant made out to the tune of $344k! Way to go Wanda.

Anonymous said...

the what festival? i live in jackson and go to blues music events. never heard of this...

Anonymous said...

I have been to this, and many other blues festivals across Mississippi. Its by far the worst managed and run. Terrible.

The line up is simply a bunch of Malaco retreads and an occasional headliner. It pales when compared to the Juke Joint or Sunflower festivals.

The city of Jackson has made it clear that they don’t want white people in “their” government and “their” events and this is just another example. While Sunflower and Juke Joint make everyone feel welcome, the environment at this event is less welcoming to say the least.

Anonymous said...

PEER (paraphrase): Was the consultant allowed to double-dip?

JCVB: "Yes, it was allowable for the consultant to book artists whom the consultant represented as a booking agent".

Anonymous said...

JCVB is supported by special collection taxes and they are deficit spending? Same unaccountable mentality as the red-ink drowning Convention Center.

As for Horhn, he's just covering his butt from the hard questions he knows his non-Jackson colleagues will ask for carrying the JCVB water.

Anonymous said...


If it is in the red why can't they just not have the festival anymore....somebody needs to be the grownup here !!!!!

Anonymous said...

Paying a consultant to help you lose money? Goodness.

Anonymous said...

If we have such an awesome convention and visitor's board and MS Arts Commission, why do we need consultants? Who is that person connected to?

Louis LeFleur said...

Where's Mal? Bring back Jubilee Jam!

Anonymous said...

Do we have similar numbers for the old Jubilee Jam! ?

Anonymous said...

When Jubilee Jam couldn't be kept out of the red it ended. When you are fronted by taxpayer dollars you don't give a crap.

Anonymous said...

10:42 AM hit the nail on the head.
Doesn't matter how much you give to lil detroit its never enuff givin. Seriously, I have only experienced serious racism agains't myself (white non-hispanic) in Puerto Veijo, Costa Rica and....Jackson, MS (my hometown).
I am at a loss as to how in the past literally like 3-5 years that racism against whites is not only blasted out without repercussion on news outlets and in Jackson like theres no tomorrow and at colleges now offering an abundance of classes on a multitude of "informative" topics negatively portraying whites and we, whites, are still the ONLY ones who can be racist and privileged.
bewildered...

Anonymous said...

Just watched the promo for the 2017 event on YouTube - no rhythm and blues to it, just hip hop (rap).

Anonymous said...

On Page 2 Collier-Wilson throws the JCVB BOD under the bus.

This report doesn't expose it but there has to be something else jacking up JCVB's FY2014 & FY2016 expense lines beyond the festival. JCVB had to have taken some other risks those years that also didn't pan out.

noel said...

I could lose them twice that amount for $200,000 in consulting fees.

Anonymous said...

@ 11:40 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr_3uUm1WZM

Bobby Rush in the pictures but not mentioned. Otherwise...no t much bluues.

Also last I knew I-Heart Media was carrying (getting crushed by) about $20 Billion in debt. So definitely an appropriate partner for
Jackson Visitors and Convention Bureau to be gettin jiggy wit!

Anonymous said...

Another question to ponder is: Does this event bring people from across the state or just across town?

Anonymous said...

I attended every Jubilee! JAM and enjoyed the entertainment at all of them. A noticeable decline in big names also brought a noticeable decline in attendance. As someone else mentioned when the event started losing money the promoters stopped having it. When the Rhythm & Blues Festival was announced in 2013 I was excited that it might pick up where Jubliee! JAM left off. The entertainment the first year was promising with some big names such as Dr. John. I anxiously awaited the 2014 line up and was somewhat disappointed but attended anyway. When the 2015 list of performers was released I knew it was over for me. It became nothing more than a showcase for local want-to-be no talent foul mouthed rappers. Thank goodness Brandon has built their venue. From what I have seen they will be having quality entertainment. Cspire did well to pick up sponsorship.

Anonymous said...

The C in JCVB stands for Convention. How many conventions have they booked, ever?

In the entire history of the Jackson Convention Complex, how many national conventions have been held there? It has been almost a decade since this place opened and there has not been one convention of note. What is the JCVB doing to bring a convention here?

The only upcoming events through April are a Cisco presentation, a luncheon for a pregnancy group, and a Barbizon model search (e.g. get "discovered" and pay for modeling and acting classes).

This week is the Mississippi Young Bankers' Convention. It is being held in Point Clear, Alabama. In May, the Bankers' Convention will be at Sandestin, Florida. The Mississippi State Medical Association is doing the same. In July, the Mississippi Wholesale Distributors Association and the Mississippi Bar Association will go to Destin for their conventions.

The JCVB can't even convince state organizations to use this place!

We were told we needed this facility to compete with other cities in the Southeast. This group has had a decade and they have FAILED. MISERABLY! Don't even think about complaining that there's no motel nearby!

Two day rap shows that lose over half a million dollars are the best they can do? Is anyone driving the train here?

Maybe they should name some more things after Medgar Evers.

Anonymous said...

Great music downtown this weekend. Three great venues having events that dont cost the taxpayer. I am fired up about seeing Christone “Kingfish” Ingram. Now thats a real blues artist.

Anonymous said...


Our once Great City will never be more than it is today !

We have nothing to offer a convention group. Please, someone tell me what we have to offer except trouble.

We are at the cross roads of I-55 and I-20 not to mention Hwy 49. We could have been the distribution center of the south but no one had the knowledge to take us there. It's to late now...look at Clarksdale, we will be there in another 10 years (maybe 5 years).

I have three sons and two have taken their families and moved out of Mississippi and I'm working very hard to get my third son and his family out of here.

The Governor and the Legislator had better get control of the situation before it is to late.

Anonymous said...

Is the consultant named Alex Thomas or Alex Smith?

The attendance numbers are atrocious! It's an average of about 2300 a day if you don't count Saturday 2014 when attendance spiked to 6000 (I think that Macy Gray performed then). If you look at the list of performers, it's not hard to understand. There are a few up and comers, a few that are well past their prime, and then there are the local acts that have been performing the same songs in the Jackson Area for 30 years.

Who is going to pay $85 for a pass to see Bell Biv Devoe, Chaka Khan, Sherman Lee Dillon, Bobby Rush, Denise LaSalle, and Dorothy Moore (no doubt singing her hit from 40 years ago, "Misty Blue")?

High school football games draw more than 2300 people. Monster truck rallies draw more than 2300 people. Gun and knife shows draw more than 2300 people. There are probably weekly church services in the metro that draw that kind of crowd!

This is downright embarrassing! As someone said above, it's time to stop having this festival. No one is coming to it, no one is making money on it, and half the acts can be seen most weekends at some local lounge.

And the city needs to ask Alex Thomas or Smith or Trebek for a refund!

Anonymous said...

The convention center has roller derby, so there’s that...

WHAT A FREAKING JOKE.

Anonymous said...

Is it possible for the City of Jackson to sell the "convention center" to private investors or an investment group? If TAXPAYERS can get a return on their investments by disposing (i.e. selling) of this liability, then such option should be taking into consideration. Let the residential and commercial taxpayers, not the non-taxpayers of Jacktown, vote on this measure.

I guess this option would be seen as "racist" considering that the majority of Blacks living (i.e. occupying) in Jackson are renters and do not own their place of residence or business, thus do not pay property taxes.

Jackson BK Alert said...

1:56

Jackson taxpayers on the hook for the bait-and-switched GO bonds which were refi'd a few years back. There is no way they'd be able to sell the center for the debt owed.

Anonymous said...

Has it been 10 years yet?

Ben Allen, president of Downtown Jackson Partners, said at the press conference that he has seen figures showing that, with all the residential development downtown in the form of loft apartments and condos, that in 10 years there could be as many as 25,000 people living downtown, tripling traffic on Pearl Street and Pascagoula Street.

-- Mississippi Business Journal
-- March 3, 2008

Anonymous said...

1:56 You'd get more selling it as scrap iron.

Anonymous said...

12:55, the best year the convention center had was about a $1 million loss.

Nothing but roller derby, a few small meetings that used to meet at the Mariott and high school graduations.

Anonymous said...

I've attended CLE seminars at the Convention Center. It is as dark as a tomb due to inadequate lighting, always freezing cold, and parking is scary for a single female in that area. Who the heck wants to go there?

Anonymous said...

I've overheard CVB Representatives at the Convention Center advise out of town attendees of a kid's gymnastic event that there was nothing to do and and nowhere to eat in Jackson after dark. Told them to go to Renaissance. This is your CVB at work.

Messick said...

A good number of attendees at JR&B Fest don't pay full price or any admission. Community outreach tickets or something like that.

Anonymous said...


2:21,

I call "BULL SHIT" !!!! If you have 25,000 people living in downtown Jackson it will be funded by rent subsidies. Ben Allen is no expert in redevelopment. He was not educated or trained in revitalization and has no business being President of DJP.

I blame 80% of the problems with downtown Jackson on Allen. I can not understand the property owners who have lost 50% of the value in their commercial properties for keeping him. Every person that comes along with a hair brain idea regarding redevelopment is embraced by Allen even if they have no idea what they are doing.

I don't hate Allen--I just want to see Jackson move forward.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to boxing and MMA at the convention center? Never went, but they used to have some of that as I recall.

Barry Kripke said...

1:56 - YES! That building would make an amazing multi-level club and strip joint! But it would have to be classy, with a lunch buffet and everything!

Anonymous said...

OK, I get it. The blues got its start in Mississippi. Not Jackson, but the state of Mississippi. Fine. Point made.

Now, why the hell is anything the city does that is entertainment related centered on the blues and ONLY the blues? Blues festivals, blues trails, blues museums, blues clubs in a blues district. Someone has got to stand up and say that regardless of the pedigree, blues music just isn't that big of a draw.

I can hear the collective gasp from the hipper-than-thou crowd. Sorry, but the numbers don't lie. All this money spent on blues related stuff and almost every bit of it is a money sink. I'm sure there are a couple of successful shows or clubs, but they are the exception. We just aren't making money off the blues, no matter how cool everyone thinks it should be. It's like opening a bookstore and only selling Faulkner and Welty. You can sell those books, but if you want to make money, you'll need to sell Harry Potter and Twilight books, too.

Imagine Dragons is coming to Brandon in July, and you can bet that one show will draw more people and make more money than this year's line up of little known blues musicians.

So we can keep drilling this dry well and pat ourselves on the back for being cool while appealing to few, or we can try to broaden the appeal of such a festival and maybe attract more than 2000 locals who are only buying discounted admission.

However, I think those in charge would rather drown in a sea of red ink than plan a responsible festival that will be attended by those who live outside the city limits. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

How fatiguing it is painting from memory this canvas of CC supporters from the ranks of Jackson's who's who; I am certain others have faded from memory. All complicit. All exalted the convention center gold-standard of similar "premier" cities - San Diego, New Orleans, Orlando, Atlanta, Dallas - we must have one they shouted!
I so regret having believed them.
Anyone have roller derby tickets for sale?

Buy My Product.. said...

Follow The Pattern. This ain't Rocket Surgery. This is really not difficult. As with most things Jackson, the city will wait another five years and the mayor at that time will have some new senator sponsor a private bill to have the legislature bail out the Convention Center and Heliport. And when the current Governor comes out against it, he'll be labeled a racist and the five people left at the Gannett-Ledger will piss their pants rushing to meet deadline with stories of interest to USA Today readers in Philly and Spokane.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how much Maris West and Baker made to advertise something no one attended.

Anonymous said...

Bring Linda McCartney back; she knew how to run the convention center.

Play Misty Blue For Me said...

Another question to ponder is: Does this event bring people from across the state or just across town?

Looking at the attendance figures, it doesn't even appear to bring people from across the street.

Anonymous said...

If any other CEO had lost $2.4M they would be terminated. Why is Wanda Wilson still there.? Living with her made her husband run off and be a crack head.

Anonymous said...

Family reunions that used to be at the trademart seem to be the core business for our "essential" convention center.
Let's play "name all of the brilliant business and community leaders whose LEADERSHIP jobbed us with this crap hole":
my top 2
1.his honor Mayor Harvey Johnson
2. (then) Councilman Ben Allen

Anonymous said...

. . talked about the festival at a city council meeting in december . . the article says that j-c-v-b will NO longer produce / promote the event yett NO mention of it being cancelled << The Jackson Rhythm and Blues Festival, hosted by Visit Jackson, is one of the events that came into question. Due to low turn out, the tourism organization's board decided to no longer produce that event. >> . . . full article . . http://www.wjtv.com/news/jackson-council-votes-against-2-percent-restaurant-tax-hike_20180123080314944/933734262

Anonymous said...

Wyatt Emmerich railed against the building and financing of this "convention center" years ago, but no one listened. State of fools.

Anonymous said...

Brandon has some problems as well, including the stage at City Hall and ticket pricing. The seating should be in a U so those on the wing seats can see the performer and you don't charge the same as the middle front if they can't. The aisles make entrance and exit difficult. The bathroom situation is not good either but you can meet the performer there. But, these are problems that can be overcome.

What Mississippi can't overcome are the promoters and outfits like Ticketmaster who don't care about the success of the venue. The promotion has really been awful both in Brandon and Jackson. It costs nothing for a few postcards and posters but venues are paying as if there were television and radio and Internet ads galore. Worse, promoters aren't targeting the market for these entertainers. The entertainer knows and could tell them precisely the ages of and best way to reach their fans.

If you want a well priced ticket to any event, buy at the venue box office.

Just a group event is hard to hold at our Convention Center and the one in Biloxi because of the food service contract. When coffee is $70 to $125 a commercial serving pot and feeding your folks bad food at $25+ per person when they can get good food for less doesn't make for a successful event.

And, sadly, security is a cost when, once upon a time, local law enforcement could provide security.

Jackson's Convention Bureau does all they can. I have worked with them on events and they even provide free labor ( themselves) to help your event go smoothly. They will even stuff bags for attendees and help with check in. The restaurant association is great as well.






Anonymous said...

Let's play "name all of the brilliant business and community leaders whose LEADERSHIP jobbed us with this crap hole"

1) Leland Speed
2) Jeff Good
3) John Lawrence (who I believe scampered back to Memphis)
4) Ben Allen and the rest of the DJP
5) Harvey Johnson
6) Malcolm White

I know there are others, but these are the ones I remember. Particularly Speed.

Tell Da Troof, Danny Mollisack! said...

From Mississippi Business Journal, Feb. 17, 2003:

Last November, Mayor Harvey Johnson Jr. unveiled his prized proposal: the Capital City Convention Center. The $85-million facility, which he calls “an economic generator,” would promise more tourists and pump needed dollars into the local economy.

Can anyone read that paragraph without laughing?

Or crying?

Kingfish said...

I'm not against a convention center per se as I think the capital city needs one. However, the way they went about this was completely wrong. They built it where it looks like they were trying to hide it. You can't see it from the interstate. You can't get to it easily. First you have to go waaaay down Pearl Street, take a left, and so on. Parking lot looks pathetic.

If it were me, I would have put it by fairgrounds or by Commerce street where it could be seen. There are several bars and restaurants right there. Those are the building blocks for a true entertainment district. Nothing planned, they just sprung up on their own and there they are. There is room for a hotel there if one was needed. If. Much better than this pie in the sky build it where no one can see it because its part of some long range master plan that we will never live to see but it looks great on paper.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish,

It could be argued that a number of projects have suffered because of this romantic notion of a long range master plan. Had the downtown revitalization efforts started on E. Capitol where there was still some life and activity, and been allowed to progress to Farish, we may have an entirely different situation today. But they started on Farish which was and is dead.

Had they built the convention complex on Greymont Street next to I-55 it could be easily seen and accessed and synergies with the Coliseum and Trade Mart could be huge. But no, they stuck it over by the Planetarium (another total waste).

It was basically sacrificed for this silly notion of a walkable downtown with seventeen blues clubs.

Anonymous said...

Ask any true blues musician and you will learn that black people don't prefer the blues. Black people like rap and hip hop, period. The people who follow, enjoy and gravitate toward blues venues today are white people and it's been that way for thirty years or more. White people are a minority in Jackson and they're a minority when the visit Jackson and they're fearful, in large part, about the prospect of attending events in Jackson. '


Oh sure, some will say, "I'm bullet proof, ain't afraid and ain't skeered to go anywhere".....but again, they're a minority.

Anonymous said...


12:16,

I agree totally with your last sentence...everything that was and is planned is a total waste of money and energy. Jackson is not Memphis or New Orleans and will never be. DJP needs to get their heads out of their asses and see the light. Hire someone that is capable of drafting a long term plan and stick with it. Allen has jumped all over the downtown area with no plan...he is just trying to look like he is capable in order to keep his job. I'll personally pay for a one way ticket to anywhere in the USA if Allen will go and not come back.

My wife and I were in Chattanooga not long ago and we walked all around downtown. We were really surprised to see hundreds of people milling around. The restaurants were full and there was not one piece of paper or a can or bottle to be seen. The downtown hotel suites were high quality and reasonably priced.

What a shame we can't find a revitalization specialist to lead us into the light..........

Anonymous said...

I think moving it to the CC was someone's dumbass idea of trying to imitate the Essence Festival in N.O., a popular R&B musical festival which has been held annually in the Superdome for over 20 years. The genius didn't think about how unsuited the CC is for concerts, and the acts themselves weren't worth the overpriced cost of admission (which we are finding wasn't even enough to cover the costs).

Anonymous said...

This shows more of the same Ole Mississippi. Cronyism and no leaderships. No desire to expand the State’s economy. No desire to see the only urban area in the State thrive. Suburban areas around the Capital City wanting her to fail. Man, we are warped! People lining their pockets. It starts at the top and works all the way down. Legislature and statewide leadership is a complete joke. I live in Jackson and try to support it, but it’s increasingly difficult. I, like others, will push my children to expand their horizons elsewhere when they graduate.

Anonymous said...

11:22. What office buildings downtown have been foreclosed and not in operation. Names please?

Anonymous said...


3:54,

If not for out of state investors coming in to devour the remains of Downtown Jackson it would look like West Capitol.

Buildings that should have sold for $200.00 dollars a square foot sold for $60.00.

Heritage Building was foreclosed along with the Plaza Building and many more.

The 450,000 square foot Landmark Building sold for $5.00 per square foot.

Now who is the idiot ?

I could fill up several pages of stupid mistakes that have been made.
I've been a real estate investor for over 40 years.

Get over the fact that you and DJP f----d up !!!!!

Anonymous said...

11:22. Whoever is giving you your cost estimates for downtown properties is one ignorant fool. Every major building downtown, save Sam Dabit's, has been purchased, and is being rehabbed. Where do you get your "alternate facts"?

Anonymous said...

3:54. Dayum. That's a lotta stuff. I need to come downtown and take a look see.

Anonymous said...

5:05. Bingo. You are exactly right! That is why the real estate downtown is hot as a firecracker for out of state developers. They see a bargain and jump on it. Our locals are investing in the burbs, which drove the prices down. No surprise. The upside is they are pouring tons back into them and redeveloping. Einstein, look at other cities. That is the same track record and plans they used 20 years ago. We are just late. It is called "supply and demand". And is a good thing.

Anonymous said...

CONSIDER THIS: Downtown Crime

The resurgence of downtown will stall unless the city addresses and significantly reduces criminal activity.

Anonymous said...

"Boom" magazine....??????
I have to laugh or I would go insane.
That crapola sandwich on glossy paper is probably paid for with my money in some back-handed way. Pure liberal propoganda! Jackson's creative class!
I am shocked that JFP and Boom dont have offices at the CC!
And add Entergy and Trustmark executives to the list of those responsible. They participated heavily and I recall many neighborhood meetings with those community leaders facilitating discussions. The guy who owned Julep was hand-in-hand with J Good too!

Anonymous said...

I thought this thread was about the wasteful spending of the JCVB? How did we get to arguing about downtown?

Anonymous said...

5:05. Oh the unsophisticated complainers. Do you know any of the details of the two forecloses re: Heritage and Plaza Buildings. Those 2 were "friendly" forclorues when the 2 investment bankers would not renegotiate debt. Turned 2 turds into winners. I get so weary of suffering fools.

Anonymous said...

<< Messick said...

A good number of attendees at JR&B Fest don't pay full price or any admission. Community outreach tickets or something like that.
March 14, 2018 at 3:14 PM >> . . is this true ?? . . that would explain alott especially with the 'city' entity as the promoter / producer !! !!

Louis LeFleur said...

And now back to the actual topic of this post vs. downtown and/or the convention center in general... local TV websites are saying the R&B Festival has now been canceled. Imagine that! KK/JJ exposes the audit results and suddenly Visit Jackson sees the light and cancels, though they do not expose the magnitude of past loses, saying only "Visit Jackson and its Board of Directors desire to conduct invensive research to identify more economic methods of music tourism promotion."

P.S. No coverage that I've seen yet in CL.

Anonymous said...

. . . reply to Louis LeFleur said...

<< . . talked about the festival at a jackson city council meeting in december . . the article says that j-c-v-b will NO longer produce / promote the event yett NO mention of it being cancelled << The Jackson Rhythm and Blues Festival, hosted by Visit Jackson, is one of the events that came into question. Due to low turn out, the tourism organization's board decided to no longer produce that event. >> . . . full article . . http://www.wjtv.com/news/jackson-council-votes-against-2-percent-restaurant-tax-hike_20180123080314944/933734262 >>

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, you're right. Of all the places to put the convention center, why situate it right on top of Town Creek???

Anonymous said...

Matt Allen is running for Circuit Court to replace Weill.

Anonymous said...

WLBT is reporting on this now...WOW.

Kingfish said...

All right, this thread has turned into one about the failure of a music festival to a trashing of someone who is not even mentioned in the post. I'm zapping comments right now.

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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