Friday, September 13, 2013

Police to Green court reporter: "I don't care who you work for" (video)

Apparently the Glenn Campbell defense does not work in Pearl. JJ obtained through a public records request a copy of the police dashcam video when Kimberly Smith was arrested in June.  Pearl police charged her with speeding and a dui refusal.  Ms. Smith is the court reporter for Hinds County Circuit Judge Tomie Green.

Ms. Smith repeatedly told the police officers she worked for Judge Green as a court reporter. Danette Horne apparently was following Ms. Smith as she pulled over to the scene while the traffic stop was in progress. She is in the white car in the videos posted below.

Pearl police pulled over Ms. Smith after she raced through Pearl on I-20 at 82 mph when the speed limit was 60 mph. Ms. Smith (Clip 3) repeatedly informs the police officer she and Ms. Horn work for Judges Green and Kidd. The officer finally says "I don't care who you work for." Ms. Smith admitted to one drink but insisted on calling "the chief" although it is not clear which chief she was referring to. The officer states in clip 2 "She kept telling me she's a court reporter for Hinds County judges".

Ms. Smith tells the officer "My boyfriend is Michael McDonald. He's with the police department and swat team. Officer tells her "I want you to start being honest with me." She replies by telling the officer the woman driving the white car "is a court reporter for Judge Kidd. I am circuit judge Tomie Green's court reporter. I've only had one drink." She then says something about "I saw him with another woman." She argues with the officer some more before he finally has enough and handcuffs her. He tells her she is under arrest for speeding and possible DUI. He informs her she was driving at 82 mph. The video does not show the arrest of Ms. Horne but the officer says she was arrested for trying to interfere with the traffic stop. The formal charges were failure to obey a police officer and resisting arrest.

Ms. Smith pleaded guilty to the dui offense and paid a fine. Ms. Horne pleaded guilty to the failure to obey charge and the resisting arrest charge was remanded to the file.

Ms. Smith flies by at 82 mph. Pearl police pull her over. No sound in this clip.





This is the money clip.


Nothing much in this clip.


Kingfish note: Let's not forget this quote from Judge Tomie Green a few years ago:


69 comments:

Micah said...

This is what happens when you legalize liquor in Pearl. Them Hinds county people will start crossing the river and cause problems in Pearl. It is like feeding a stray cat once you feed a cat it will come back for more. You might even see Kenny Stokes in Rankin County next. I doubt he could fit in the back seat of them new police chargers.

Dr. Noose said...

Tomie Green's verse regarding drinking and driving

Mississippi is a zero tolerance state
And I think that is really great
Do not drink and drive in a box
Do not drink and drive with a fox
Do not drink and drive in the rain
Do not drink and drive on a train
If you drive, then drink iced tea
Or you'll be jailed, Sam-I-Be
Unless, that is, you work for me

Anonymous said...

what is wrong with you? You obviously have no life. What is so important about this story? I don't understand your hatred of these two women. What have they done to you?

Anonymous said...

Why do you hate these two black women so much that you keep talking about the same thing over and over and over and over?

Anonymous said...

What do you gain by keeping talking and now posting the video? what do you want to happen to these women? How does it enhance your life any?

Kingfish said...

Don't hate them at all. I'd heard they tried to throw their weight around during this stop. That was always the real story to me. Two court reporters trying to use their positions the way they did. And one stopping to interfere with the traffic stop? Never a good idea. Then while I"m sitting there, one of them is dumb enough to cuss in the courtroom when she got off pretty easy? Yeah, I hate them.

Of course, you were probably just fine with Bert Case's harassment of Governor Fordice.

Anonymous said...

I hope they sue your ass for harassment. You are way past being a journalist. They haven't done anything to you personally. I'm sure they don't even know you. So you hate two people you don't even know. Minnow fish, get a life

Anonymous said...

This is not newsworthy. This is malice. I hope you and the officer's background is squeaky clean

Kingfish said...

Put down the drink.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure these ladies have families. So why don't you just give it a rest. I'm sure you wouldn't want somebody to do this to you. Remember karma is a bitch.

Anonymous said...

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW

Anonymous said...

How can you be a kingfish when you're only 5 feet tall with dyed black hair. Anonymous was right. You are a Minnow man with a short man's complex.

Anonymous said...

Can't get enough! It wasn't our fault, KG, IT IS YOURS!

Anonymous said...

It was completely inappropriate for Judge Green's court reporter to attempt to use her position to avoid arrest, but the video with Judge Green contained erroneous information.  Contrary to Judge Green's comments, Mississippi is NOT a zero-tolerance state for adults drinking and driving. Perhaps she confuses the law pertaining to adults with the zero tolerance law provisions applicable to minors.  For an adult to be properly convicted of operating a motor vehicle after consuming alcohol, Section 63-11-30 provides that "[i]t is unlawful for any person to drive or otherwise operate a vehicle within this state who ... is under the influence of intoxicating liquor ... [or] has an alcohol concentration of eight one-hundredths percent (.08%) or more ...."  Unless the adult has an alcohol concentration of .08% or more, it must be proven that the adult operated a vehicle while under the influence of intoxicating liquor.  Note that the statute doesn't provide that it is illegal to operate a vehicle after  consuming alcohol.  Merely having consumed alcohol is NOT necessarily being under the influence.

Anonymous said...

10:23 correction, KF, IT IS YOURS!

Anonymous said...

ummmmm 10,28 she pulled over for speeding. at first.. the they smelled the booze on her breath

Anonymous said...

WHy should the arresting officer care who her boyfriend or her boss is...she is an uneducated drunk driver who has a job working for a limerick judge and a law enforcer boyfriend...should that be a get out of jail card? Shame Shame Shame on her for trying to throw all that weight around. At least the arresting officer didn't ask if she is pregnant...I might have made that mistake.

Anonymous said...

you've made this story more than what it obviously is on video. The lady simply states who she works for. She's not mean to the officer or anything. she was very cooperative. So why are you reporting it as otherwise? ok, she's a court reporter for the judge. what standard does she need to uphold? i'm lost here buddy. back off.

Anonymous said...

Had she plowed into a kid getting off a school bus would everyone be so understanding? Sounds like most crying harassment here have probably been guilty of the same thing but just haven't been caught. Her arrogance is dispicable. Who does she think she is Reese Witherspoon?
At least Reese had the sense to be contrite after she sobered up.

Anonymous said...

Who does she think she is Reese Witherspoon?
At least Reese had the sense to be contrite after she sobered up.


Please keep Reese out of this. She's a babe.

Anonymous said...

This is a blog. Not a news site. I don't understand all you people spitting out hate for what he puts on here. If it makes you that mad why do you keep reading it?

Anonymous said...

I suspect this woman has used the "do you know who I am" approach before to get "above the law" treatment. She was way too patronizing and effortless in mentioning her low-level job for it to have been her first time playing that card. She's getting what she wanted here, though -- we're all learning who she is.

Anonymous said...

Just be damn glad the Pearl police did pull her over, before she took whatever exit she would have taken, and probably plowed into someone.

Harassment by Kingfish? Yeah, right. He told her to drink and drive and throw her imagined "influence" around.

Anonymous said...

There is an alternative explanation to " throwing her weight around", KF.
It could be a poor attempt to explain that she wouldn't have more than one drink and drive because her job and relationships are such that she understands the law and respects the law and she was speeding as she was upset because of seeing her boyfriend with another woman.
In other words, I'm a responsible person under normal circumstances and even under stress, wouldn't drive drunk and I was not paying attention to how fast I was going because I was upset.
I didn't hear the belligerence on these videos that she expressed in court.
Did she do the wrong thing in speeding and not just accepting the ticket? Yes.
I don't know if she was over the legal limit for alcohol.
At any rate, I don't imagine it's uncommon for driver's to try to talk themselves out of a ticket and use whatever connections they hope will resonate with the officer to do so.
Given your other video , she hired a good lawyer. She got off with a slap on the wrist and public embarrassment.
Calling the officer or whomever she was referring to in court in a whispered tone is not lady like or an accurate characterization but she's entitled to convey her opinion of others to her attorney.
Reporting the initial story was where you should have left it as this does seem like overkill.
People hire good attorneys and get slaps on the wrist in court all the time.
If this hadn't been a first offense, I would understand, but this seems like overkill. I think the other person who posted was entirely inappropriate in her remarks, but the point that this seems a bit of an over reaction has some merit.

Anonymous said...

Reporting the initial story was where you should have left it as this does seem like overkill.

What was overkill was your overly windy 300+ words. Spare us. You are reading here at JJ of your own free will. If you don't like the content then move along otherwise STFU about the editorial decisions made by management.

Anonymous said...

^^^ What 9:09 am said. :)

Anonymous said...

CORRECTION:
KINGFISH, YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!

Anonymous said...

This website is definitely racist. Kingfish, where is your hood...your Ku Klux Klan hood?

Anonymous said...

KF wrote: "Yeah, I hate them"

I'm sure you don't even know them and you hate them? Something is very mentally wrong with you. Please go find another hobby besides being obsessed with these two women!

Anonymous said...

What position do you hold with the Ku Klux Klan? Grand Wizard?

Kingfish said...

Don't recognize sarcasm when you see it, do you?

Micah Gober said...

blah, blah, racist that, racist this, blah, blah. @@

Rebekah said...

I really was not going to reply on this but the racist remarks got me.
How is he racist? Has anyone made one derogatory remark involving race? Why is it EVERY SINGLE TIME a "black person" ( I refuse to say African American because I don't actually know anyone from Africa) is in the news for bad behavior or criminal activity, it is automatically racism if it is discussed? Why bring up KKK and all that other bs?

I know KF very well. To the person who said he was short with dyed black hair- you're a moron. And to the others who bring up racism- you are morons too.

And quit ranting on individual posts. Gather your thoughts and put them all together in one post.

And please quit with the overplayed and highly overused race card. It only proves your stupidity.

Anonymous said...

My, my, my...these two 'ladies' and their friends sure do want Kingfish to back off.

Guess it's no fun being scrutinized for (1) speeding and (2)driving under the influence of alcohol and THEN (3)repeatedly telling the officer that she, Ms.Smith, works for Judge Green. Ms. Horne calling the judge, officers, someone in the courtroom an 'asshole' was icing on the cake...fodder for bloggers.

Ms Smith and Ms Horne, you both did wrong and got off easy. You and your friends need to quit your bitching about this blog.

By the way, since it involved drinking and driving - I'm still waiting for a comment from Judge Green about her court reporter's 'run in' with the law. Waiting....waiting.....waiting.....waiting......guess it's good I'm not holding my breath.



Anonymous said...

May I focus on the DANGEROUSNESS of what the woman in the aqua BMW was DOING?

First, simply the fact that she was speeding was increasing the risk of death or injury to those having to share the road with her. The fact that she had been drinking made that risk somewhat worse.

Watching her pulling over, in the first video, it seemed to me that she DID NOT USE HER TURNING SIGNAL AT ALL. I did see her brake lights come on, when she braked for a stop. So, I assume that I would have seen her turning signal light, had she chosen to use it. My guess is that she habitually neglects to use turning signals.

If the roadway had been deserted, neglecting to signal would not have endangered anyone. But there was plenty of fast traffic. I'm remembering the roadway as having three lanes of traffic. In RAPIDLY cutting across two lanes of traffic, then moving onto the paved 'shoulder', she apparently executed three lane changes without a signal.

I know that people of all colors and social classe do this, every day, in Mississippi. It seems to be no big deal - until their bad driving kills/maims/paralyzes/bankrupts/widows/orphans someone.

I'm tired of the local tolerance for horrible driving. I'm tired of risking my life, sharing the road with people like this particular one caught on film.

Anonymous said...

Certain replies to this thread are proof positive that it really is attitude, not color. Do the crime, do the time. Accept responsibility.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, one of the local tv stations had a segment with video on the arrest last night as well. The anchor reporting or narrating the segment was a black female. I wonder why no one is calling the tv station or the anchor racists or being members of the KKK.

Anonymous said...

I'm still waiting to see a picture of the man in Reunion who committed house burglary in his own neighborhood. Why isn't KF putting emphasis on that story...mmmm, because he's WHITE

Anonymous said...

Rebekah, you are a moron and an idiot if you have ANYTHING nice to say about MINNOW MAN. He's NOT a journalist or an attorney. He's just pathetic and a MINNOW MAN in every way

Kingfish said...

First you have a Judge, Tomie Green, who has pretty much declared war on the rest of the criminal justice system in Hinds County.

1. She counts the grand jury meetings in half.
2. Attacks the other judges and tries to remove all criminal cases to herself and Judge Gowan even though her docket moves the slowest.
3. Attacks the Sheriff and unlawfully claims control over the bailiffs and part of his budget.

Then her employee drives IN BROAD DAYLIGHT 82 mph in a 60 mph zone through Pearl while drunk. When stopped, she repeatedly tries to use her position as the judge's employee to get out of the ticket. She then starts name dropping her boyfriend, who is a deputy and swat team member in Hinds County.

Then her friend and Judge Kidd's employee stops and tries to interfere in the stop. ALWAYS a bad idea. Said employee gets arrested for refusing to obey (probably was told to get back in car) and resisted arrest.

One is convicted and pays a fine. The other has one charge remanded and pays a fine on the other one. It is IMMEDIATELY expunged. Pretty rare that actually happens. While walking away from the bench she says "asshole".

It took me an extra day to get one video and an extra week to get the other. I'm sorry my timetable isn't the same as yours but sometimes government agencies don't give you public records when you want them. Unlike these two court reporters, I accept their policies and play accordingly. Thus when I finally do get the records, I can either sit on them or publish them since I could not publish them with the original story. Get over it. In case you missed it, Ms. Smith apparently said this was not her first arrest either. Anyone get that?

What she should have done was shut up, just sign the ticket or take the arrest, don't say a word about who she worked for and then quietly get it taken care of and we all know that goes on.

She is the one who brought attention to herself and her employer. However, if I report it, I'm in the klan, I'm a racist. I'm harassing her. Blah blah blah. No damn accountability. No damn responsibility.

I know a few judges who would've canned her ass immediately for getting arrested for a dui, much less trying to tell the cops who she worked for. In fact, their employees would already know not to get the dui or don't bother coming back to work.

Oh well, the people calling me a klukker or a harasser are the same ones who are perfectly fine with Judge Green's war with the rest of the criminal justice system or excuse any sins made by public officials in Jackson or Hinds County. Always playing the race card so they can hide behind it.

Kingfish said...

"counts" should be "cuts".

Anonymous said...

KF, you are pathetic. Go get a life!

Anonymous said...

... and a MINNOW MAN ...

That's the best you've got? LMAO

Rebekah said...

I said I know him well. I did not say anything negative nor positive about him. I simply asked what about him reporting about this makes him a racist? You and/or your simple minded cronies did not answer the question.
What about this is racist exactly? Please explain to me in your bigoted, backwards brain how this post or any other posts on this site is racist?
Is this because the two dumbass women are black? Since I am white and I just called them dumbasses is that racist? I'm really interested in your definition of a racist.
Stupid, simpleminded idiots who lives revolve around using the race card for.every.single.thing.that.happens.to. a. black. person is what is wrong with this world. If you break the law you should pay the price. I don't give a damn what color you are, what you do for a living, what your boyfriend dies for a living, or what your momma or cousin do for a living- if you breAk the law you suffer the consequences.

And if you do something STUPID on camera people are going to laugh at you. So once again, explain how any of this is racist?


Micah Gober said...

4:38 YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A CRACKHEAD. THIS IS HOW THE LAW WORKS IN RANKIN-MADISON COUNTY. WE DON'T PLAY AROUND LIKE THE CLOWNS DOWN THERE IN HINDS COUNTY. THESE TWO FEMALES GOT A SLAP ON THE WRIST. GET OVER IT!

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think it's weird that a court reporter is driving a BMW sports car?

Anonymous said...

22 miles an hour above the speed limit, drove right past the cop without noticing him and then didn't see him when he was right behind her, so she was also not paying attention, weaving, then crossed over several lanes without signaling, when she finally pulled over. I would have thrown in a reckless driving charge on top of the DUI.

The way this was handled certainly gives the "appearance of impropriety" with regards to Judge Green (not that she has ever cared). But where is the outrage for the crooked judge in Rankin that brazenly gave special treatment to these women, even when he KNEW EVERYONE WAS WATCHING? What does this judge do when thousands of people aren't looking? And why aren't you called out this guy, KF?

Anonymous said...

There needs to be a universal text symbol for sarcasm. Something like: "Congratulations, I'm very happy for you!" {()]

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think it's weird that a court reporter is driving a BMW sports car?

Yup but considering the graft and corruption we've seen from Lt. Robert Graham of the Jackson Police Department very little surprises anymore.

22 miles an hour above the speed limit, drove right past the cop without noticing him and then didn't see him when he was right behind her, so she was also not paying attention, weaving, then crossed over several lanes without signaling, when she finally pulled over.

Not convinced that she didn't notice the PPD cruiser. The video doesn't tell us when the PPD Officer turned on the lights but the first couple times I watched it -- the first video -- my initial reaction was that she was trying to see if she could stall her pull over long enough to make it across the Hinds County line.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think it's weird that a court reporter is driving a BMW sports car?

The Bentley was probably in the shop.

Anonymous said...

As many times as she insisted on telling the officer who her boss and her boyfriend were, it is pretty obvious that she was trying to throw around her connections to get herself off. She even asked if she could call them and the officer rightly said no. She thought she was someone very important. I guess we see that her boss was since she just got a slap on the wrist, but at least the officer did the right thing and arrested her after she admitted drinking and refused a sobriety test.

I personally think she had more than one drink. She couldn't focus on anything other than not getting arrested and gave every excuse in the book no matter how irrelevant. What in the world would her having to be in court the next day have to do with getting arrested today. She would be bailed out by afternoon.

As far as the car goes, it appears to be a BMW Z3. Out of production since 2002 and can be had all day long for under $7,500. I don't find it odd that someone would like a cheap, fun car like that.

Anonymous said...

I don't find it odd that someone would like a cheap, fun car like that.

Agree......take my Yugo for instance. Please.......

Anonymous said...

She thought she was someone very important.

What do you expect when you live in a county where a lifelong impersonator of sworn police officers like Lt. Robert Graham pass themselves off to what has to be a gullible and stupid community that they are actual police officers when Robert Graham isn't and has NEVER been.

LISTEN to the audio of the FRAUD..

HE IS NOT. Robert Graham, a resident of Jackson, Mississippi and elected Supervisor in Hinds County if a COMPLETE FRAUD.

Anonymous said...

Previous arrests are sure to be on her record. She was performing like a veteran. One excuse after another. Hats off to the patrolman. She could have killed somebody.

Anonymous said...

Previous arrests for sure. You can hear her on the video say "they said if I get arrested again".

Anonymous said...

The racist stuff is crap. It is news that Green' s CR and Kidd's CR got busted in Rankin and tried to wiggle out based on connections, on camera no less.

Anonymous said...

who is the boyfriend on the swat team?

Kingfish said...

Read the story.

Anonymous said...

How about that Warren county tag on her car? Lives in Brandon and works in Hinds county according to her own words on the video. This woman looks like she has a bag full of legal improprieties.

Anonymous said...

Good eye. Warren County ad val the lowest of the three!

Anonymous said...

Why would anybody brag about working for Tomie Green? Is a court reporter that prestigeous of a position?

Anonymous said...

apparently these gals read JJ

Anonymous said...

Your animus toward Judge Green seems to be the motivation behind your overemphasis of this incident, KF. You're usually more restrained and objective, however your vitriol is evident and quite frankly disappointing.

Anonymous said...

7:07 AM, agreed. And apparently these gals like to post comments too.

Thanks for reporting on this, KF.

Anonymous said...

September 16, 2013 at 3:29 PM = windbag

Anonymous said...

Disrespect for the slipshod and mediocre, at best, work product and effort the citizens receive from Judge Green is not animus.

Anonymous said...

Well, as I have only just seen this article and seem to be a day late and/or a dollar short, I am probably pretty qualified to comment on this subject. I am a former court reporter and the behavior of these two reporters is pretty shameful. Court reporters are officers of the court and are supposed to conduct themselves accordingly. And no, they do not have to live in the district where they hold an officialship. They probably will both be fired.

Anonymous said...

I just wonder why the AOC or Supreme Court has not jumped in on this! Anyone else and they would have been required to go to treatment, counseling or sobriety class.

Anonymous said...

What the heck happened to "the money clip". I wanted to show this to a friend and it is gone.



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.